DBZ College
by The Ultimate Saiyan
Summary: AU. A parody of pretty much everything, DBZ College involves frat-boy characters and a few Author Surrogates in the most farcical, exaggerated and stupid situations ever seen in fanfiction, with a few strokes of seriousness. You've been warned; the "parody" part is pivotal and well-masked. I'll take a flame review as a sign that you didn't catch the ingenuity, just saying. Rated T.
1. Studying

Disclaimer: Dragon Ball Z is not a series I claim ownership of. The only character I own in this story is Marcellous, who is my OC.

9:00 PM – Dorm 666

In Dorm 666, there are 4 Saiyan young adults studying for a Mid-term Exam.

"Man....." said a Saiyan named Kakarot, who apparently preferred to be called by a nickname, "Goku". "I hope I pass this test...."

"It must be a pretty long test for it to be 70 percent of our grade this term..." said Kakarot's older brother, Raditz.

"No shit, Sherlock." said a short and apparently very angry man, named Vegeta.

"Guys, no fighting." said a guy about the same age as the rest. He had somewhat shaggy hair, with small spikes popping out every here and there, going down to his neck. His name was Marcellous. "The last thing we need is bloodshed."

The rest listened to him and continued studying.

1:00 AM – Dorm 666

Everyone was showing signs of drowsiness, and Goku was already asleep in the middle of the room.

"I think it's time to sleep." said Raditz as he went over to the beds.

The rest agreed. Raditz got into his top bunk ,Vegeta got into his top bunk, Marcellous got into the bunk under Vegeta's, and Goku was still sleeping dead center in the room.

3:00 AM – Dorm 666

An alarm clock went off, sending Vegeta flying off of his bunk and right on to the floor. Then he looked around and saw Goku studying at a table.

"Kakarot, what was that?"

"I think it was the alarm I set to wake you guys up so you don't flunk the test in a few hours...." pondered Goku. "Then again, I could be wrong."

Then Marcellous drowsily got out of bed and went into the bathroom.

9:00 AM – Dorm 666

Goku And Marcellous were playing Mortal Kombat.

"Damn it!" cried Goku, "How do you always beat me?!"

"Because you always pick Baraka." explained Marcellous. "Everyone knows Raiden is better, and that's why I always pick him."

On the other hand, Vegeta and Raditz were having a staring contest. Vegeta blinked.

"YES!" shouted Raditz, "I WON!"

"Hmph." said Vegeta as he slumped down in defeat.

"Guys, I think we should go to the library to get in some last-minute studying." said Marcellous as he opened the door.

12:00 PM – Hallway

"Well...." said Raditz, "The last one to finish buys beer."


	2. The Big Test

12:00 PM – Science Classroom

The 4 guys sat in a row going down, the closest to the wall.

"You may now start the test. The deadline is 5 hours from now, and 15 pages of everything we learned so far will keep you occupied." said Bardock, apparently the science professor. (**A/N:** I'm only referencing the Ocean Dub of DBZ for this one time **only**.)

Now Vegeta being...well...Vegeta, decided he would cheat. Earlier today,he bought a pack of Altoids and emptied all the mints,then he rote the answers on little strips of paper and pretended to get a mint every few seconds...Raditz, decided he would hide the answers in his _hair_."_Thank God I never got my hair cut..." _thought Raditz as he scratched his head while pretending to think. Goku, put the answers on an audio file on his iPod and had his headphones on during the test. Marcellous was presumably the only one in the class who didn't cheat. Nappa had beaten people into giving him answers, Krillin copied an answer key off the school's website......well, you get the idea.

4:15 PM – Science Classroom

Most of the class had given up on the test and left. Marcellous has just finished the 14th page and Goku,Vegeta, and Raditz had just started the 13th. "_Shit, I'm out of answers!" _The three thought to themselves. It was just sheer brainpower from there on out. Within a few minutes, Marcellous was done.

"I'm Finished." he said as he handed his paper to Professor Bardock and headed out the door. " I hope those guys do well." Marcellous said to himself.

"Hurry up boys. You have five minutes left!" said Prof. Bardock.

"Finished!" the three said simultaneously and handed in the tests then headed out the door.

"Good God, that test was an ass-buster!!" sighed Vegeta.

"So we got the rest of the week off! What do we do?" asked Raditz.

After a long hard thought, an answer came out.

"BEER BASH!"

5:00 PM – Dorm 666

The sound of beer cans smacking against each other was the only thing heard in Dorm 666.

"You toast next, Marcellous." said a still sober Vegeta.

"To the rest of our lives!" Marcellous cheered as he raised his can.

"Cheers!" was said by everyone.....a few seconds went by....

The 4 friends were now fighting over who was going to puke in the toilet first.


	3. Marcellous The Hero: Inception Edition

4:00 AM – Dorm 666

All four of guys had a hangover from drinking so much. They were trying, and failing...to sleep.

"Screw this, I'm getting some sleeping pills." Marcellous said as he went into the medicine cabinet in the bathroom.

"Pass some up here." said Raditz as Marcellous spread them out by twos.

7:00 AM – Campus

The guys were just walking around the campus, like casual college students usually do.

"Hey Marcellous." a voice came from not to far away.

It was Rae, Radiza's sister and Marcellous' girlfriend. She was pretty much of average build for a college girl, she had deep blue eyes like her mother, and she had shoulder-length blonder hair, except for a single lock of hair that she usually dyed different colors, but today it was blue.

"U-umm...Hello..." nervously stammered Marcellous.

"Yo." said Radiza, Rae's sister. Radiza was also Raditz's girlfriend, in case you haven't guessed yet. She looked a lot like her younger sister, except her hair was all brown, and went halfway down her back. Another different thing is that she had emerald colored eyes, something no one else in her family did. Maybe it was this that caught Raditz's eye...or it could be her height. She was unusually tall for a woman her age, tall as Raditz, who had already been established as the tallest member of Dorm 666. Oh, and did I mention she was a tomboy?

"Uhhhh..."

Just then Rae leaned in for a kiss from Marcellous. Marcellous had redirected his attention toward a nearby aisle. It was there, that Broly, the old high school bully, was currently choking Krillin, the short guy everyone only acknowledges to make them feel better about themselves.

"Dude, what happened to that money you promised me 2 weeks ago?" asked Broly.

"I-I just don't have it! Just give me a few more weeks..." cried Krillin.

Then Broly raised his hand to punch the crap out of Krillin. But as soon as he was about to make impact, his hand hit the cold, hard brick. He looked around, and then he saw Marcellous standing behind him, Krillin cowering behind his apparent savior.

"You know..." he said, "I wouldn't do that if I were you."

"Oh, and what gives you the authority to tell me what to do?" asked Broly, rubbing his now sore hand.

"You have no right to exclusively pick on Krillin."

"Tell him, Marcellous!" shouted Krillin.

"He's _everyone's_ stress ball."

"Hey!"

"Oh yeah?" asked Broly, "Well, I guess we'll have to settle this the old-fashioned way."

"Fine with me." said Marcellous as he started cracking his knuckles.

Then Broly rushed Marcellous and tried to punch him, but Marcellous caught his fist right before it made impact.

"You know...that's not good sportsmanship..."

Broly then tried to punch Marcellous with his other hand, put got the same result.

"...Do you _really_ think this is gonna work?"

Broly tried to kick him, but Marcellous caught his leg and threw him into a nearby wall.

"You don't seem to get it, so why don't I explain it to you?" said Marcellous as he turned around to face Broly. "You've tried all sorts of things, but they just aren't working. Fight like you mean it."

Then Broly took out a knife. Before he could even get into a fighting position, Marcellous was behind him, and the knife was in his hand.

"...How did you do that?" asked Broly.

Then Marcellous hit Broly in the back of the neck with the hilt of the knife.

"Oh, forgive me..." he said as he threw the knife away. "I was gonna play with you a little longer, but I got carried away."

Then Marcellous walked away, and everyone started cheering.

* * *

"Marcellous, wake up!"

"...Huh, what happened?"

Raditz sighed. "Did you have the dream where you kicked Broly's ass again and everyone was cheering your name?"

"...Yeah, I guess I did."

"I mean, it's not like this part of the chapter was added just so you don't look like an over-powered, ideal Mary Sue."

"That would be something, wouldn't it."

Vegeta looked up from his textbook. "Mary Sue? Chapters? What the hell are you talking about?"


	4. Getting Help

**NOTE:Clare Belongs to Clare-stovold and Spencer Belongs to Raditz's son.**

9:00 AM – Dorm 666

Goku and Raditz were playing Street Fighter, Vegeta was reading a book (I know, I ran out of ideas) and Marcellous was on his bunk, pondering something.

"Guys, we need help." said Marcellous.

"With what?" asked Vegeta, picking his head up from his book.

"Becoming more romantic with our girlfriends."

"We could ask those new students, Spencer and Trunks." said Raditz, offering a suggestion.

"Those guys are babe magnets!" said Goku finishing off Raditz's thought.

"Fine. I'll see if they're interested." said Marcellous as he started walking toward the door.

"...Not like that, assholes."

* * *

9:05 AM – Dorm 999

The dorm consisting of Nappa, Turles, Trunks, and Spencer was busy playing Sonic Riders 4-way when there was a knock on the door.

"Hello." said Trunks after opening the door.

"Hey, can I have a moment of your time?"asked Marcellous.

"Sure." said Trunks as he walked out of the dorm.

"I may need Spencer, if it's possible."

Spencer followed Trunks out of the dorm.

9:10 AM – Dorm 666

The Guys were waiting patiently for Marcellous when he came through the door with Trunks and Spencer.

"Alright, what is it?" asked Spencer.

"Tell him, boys." instructed Marcellous as he jumped to his bunk.

"You guys basically have girls swarming over you."

"That is obvious that you are babe magnets."

"We need some help on getting to know our girls."

"Will you help us?"

"_Now I get it! Dad gets closer to mom,they get married,and have me!"_ thought Trunks. "Sure, I'll help." he said.

Spencer, after getting the idea himself, agreed.

Now The Girls, on the other hand, acquired the Help of Clare, Radiza and Rae's cousin. After a few hours, the deal was made and they were ready for a date.

* * *

12:00 PM – College Campus

The Boys and Girls just _happened_ to cross each others paths while going off campus.

Spencer watched their every move and hid in a bush. It just happened to be that Clare was in a neighboring bush.

"Hey guys..." said Radiza in a flirtatious manner.

"Hey...would you like to...go on a date tonight?" said Goku to Chi-Chi, nervously.

"I'd love to." said Chi-Chi while putting her arms around Goku's neck.

"What he said." said the remaining guys.

After a quick blush, the guys rushed back to their dorm.

...Man, I'm so glad I decided to edit these old chapters. I used to suck ass!


	5. Trust me, this story will improve

7:00 AM – Dorm 666

Vegeta walked through the door looking more glum than he usually does, which isn't that easy to do.

Goku was putting on his padded "special" helmet. "What happened, Vegeta?"

"...Bulma dumped me..." Vegeta said as he looked like he was about to cry.

"What?" asked Raditz. He was so shocked he fell out of his bunk and landed on a Monopoly game board.

"You two are like two peas in a pod!" said Marcellous.

"Ebony and Ivory!"

"Goku and his retard helmet!"

"Hey!"

"Krillin and dwarfism!"

"Milk and Honey!"

"Lindsay Lohan and Rehab!"

"This is getting ridiculous." said Spencer as he dropped the couple chain.

"I need a smoke..." said Vegeta as he pulled out a cigarette pack.

"Dude, you smoke?" asked Trunks.

"Bad Vegeta!" shouted Raditz as he threw the cigarette pack out a window.

Vegeta was restrained only by his belt buckle as he jumped out of the window.

7:15 AM – Dorm 666

The door opened to reveal Radiza, Ch-iChi, and Rae.

"What happened here?" Said ChiChi as she looked at the devastation in front of here.

There were clothes, broken beer bottles, games, and other blunt weapons around the room. Marcellous was bleeding out of a shut left eye, Spencer had his head in the sink, Trunks has hanging out a window by his briefs(HAR HAR HAR), Goku had no head injuries due to his "special"helmet, but was permanently scarred, Raditz was passed out to to his severe fear of horror, carnage and being a man in any way, shape, form or idea, and Vegeta was in the center of the room, cuddling a picture of Bulma, and talking to himself.

"Don't worry babe...Daddy Veg-man's gonna make it all better!"

"Well...I think he's lost it." concluded. Rae.

"Vegeta...are you okay?" asked Radiza as she tried to touch his shoulder.

"Don't move!" said Marcellous, "The entire place is booby trapped!"

Then all of a sudden, all of the booby traps went off and missed, because Vegeta's a dumb fuck when it comes to planning ahead.

"...or so I thought." said Marcellous as he got up.

"It's time for the little bunny happy hour! Balalaika..." said a scarred Goku.

Spencer gradually lifted his head out of the sink. "Yeah guys, I'm perfectly fine over here."

* * *

8:45 AM – Dorm 666

Now Rae, who was bandaging up Marcellous' eye, was pretty pissed off when she heard Vegeta had given her boyfriend a black eye, had pretty much manifested her rage in a testicular kick, which had Vegeta sprawled out on the floor.

Goku was in house rehab, and was forced to watch reruns of Blue's Clues.

"Right there! There's the paw print!" said Goku.

"Just keep watching, honey..." reminded Chi-Chi as she went to get a drink.

Spencer was drinking a soda, listening to Trunks rant about his torn underwear.

Vegeta was in a cage, padded to be his comfort bubble.

"I can't believe my own fucking father did this to us!"

Everyone looked in shock to Trunks.

"OH GODDAMIT TRUNKS YOU JUST LET OUT THAT WE'RE FROM THE FUTURE AND CAME HERE ON A DARE TO SEE WHAT OUR PARENT'S LIVES WHERE LIKE IN COLLEGE" shouted Spencer.

"Well, that about sums it up." said Raditz.

"Cat's out of the bag." sighed Trunks

"Cashews!" shouted Goku.


	6. Ultimate Saiyan pulls a Superboy Prime

"Okay, it goes down like this..." Spencer started to explain.

"Hey guys!" said Krillin as he walked in.

Silence.

"I...just interrupted a really important moment, didn't I?"

"Yeah, you kind of did..." admitted Spencer. "But, you would have been bored to hell if I did tell you the whole story..."

"...Is that Vegeta in cage?"

"Yeah. He tried to kill us when he threw his pack of smokes out a window." explained Marcellous,"You thirsty?"

"Got any Diet Mountain Dew?" asked Clare, popping out of completely nowhere.

"Sure, here." said Marcellous as he tossed it to Clare.

Clare tried to catch it but it slipped out of her hands and hit Krillin right in the face.

"Ouch! I may be able to help our little Vegeta with his love life!" said the little dwarf.

"How does everyone know this?" asked Raditz,confused.

"Was it in the paper?" Said Goku as he checked the news.

"No, we ran around the dorm with a bullhorn!" announced Turles.

"I know this game show Vegeta could get a new date on!" said Nappa.

"I got it..." said Marcellous as he slowly walked towards Vegeta's cage.

7:00 PM – Studio 123

"Hello, I'm Elton Quentin..and today on Blind Date, we have 2 very special contestants...from Hirokiwa College...Vegeta!" said the host as a picture of Vegeta flashed on the screen.

"And his date...from the Mary Sue College...Venus!" said random-as-fuck-host-whose-name-I-pulled-out-of-my-ass as a picture of Sailor Venus flashed across the screen.

"Let's see how they're doing..." said Roger as the screen cut to a hidden camera showing Vegeta going up to a door with a bouquet of roses in his hand.

"So far, so good..." said Goku...in a full body cast.

"He hasn't killed anybody yet..." said Raditz.

"No casualties, injuries, lacerations-"

"Shut up! I'm trying to watch!" complained Trunks.

* * *

Vegeta rang the doorbell...out came Venus...a moment of silence...

"HIIII!" said Venus, as the fangirl she is.

Vegeta presented a handful (he was too cheap to afford the full bouquet) of roses.

"THAT'S SO SWEET!" shouted Venus as she did all-but-rape Vegeta.

"...Shall we go...?"

* * *

7:15 PM – Olive Garden

Vegeta and Venus had a booth,waiting for their meals to get there.

"So...have you been in any recent relationships..?" asked Venus, munching on a bread stick.

"Well, I recently broke up..."

"Oh you poor thing!"

* * *

9:15 PM – Hot Tub

Vegeta was having a soak, waiting for Venus to change...

"You awake...?" said Venus.

"Vegeta was too shocked to answer, as Venus was almost buck naked,with a G-string and a spandex bra.

"I am now!"

"Yeah, good one."

* * *

11:15 PM – Venus' Dorm

"Thank you Vegeta, I had a great time..."

"Sure...no problem"...

"Good night, Prince..." whispered Venus as she went into her dorm.

"Goodnight...Um...V..." Vegeta couldn't finish.

* * *

October 6th, 2011 - Boston, Massachusetts, United States, North America, Real World

The more mature Ultimate Saiyan was reading and editing his old chapters to make it seem like his 11-year-old self wasn't a complete and total fucking idiot. He ran his hand through his hair, which he grew out to emulate one of his favorite wrestlers of all time, Edge.

"I can't take this." he sighed, "I have to do something!"

A lightbulb went off over his head, after he began to scratch his goatee for a few seconds. He punched thin air, but it shattered like glass to reveal the fabric of the space-time continuum.

* * *

Sometime in 2007 - SAME FUCKING LOCATION AS BEFORE

The short-haired, peachfuzz-having 11-year-old Ultimate Saiyan was sitting at his computer, thinking the shit he was writing was actually funny.

"Man, I'm gonna be hella cool! I definitely know Marcellous isn't a Mary Sue...wait until he turns Mystic Super Saiyan 4!"

Suddenly, the 2011 Ultimate Saiyan came through thin air and knocked the 2007 Ultimate Saiyan out.

"Grow your hair out starting Summer 2009, Michael Jackson dies June 25, 2009, AND STOP LISTENING TO J-POP."


	7. Marcellous has a drinking problem

4:00 AM – Dorm 333

Bulma was in the dark, With a fully loaded Desert Eagle and a Machete just in case things got out of hand, Wearing the costume Uma Thurman did in Kill Bill.

4:02 and 35 seconds AM – Mary Sue College

The future Sailor Scouts were Sleeping...Bulma snuck into the room,grabbed Venus by her hair, and to make a long story short, threw her out a window into a tank of sharks.

4:15 AM – Dorm 666 Bathroom

Vegeta was in the shower, thoughts of him and Bulma together racing through his head...then Vegeta realized it.

He loved Bulma.

"Time to get back my woman!" shouted Vegeta as he ran out of the shower...

Buck naked.

Luckily, he was stopped by Raditz and Marcellous, who were apparently woken up by his yell.

"You know...last time I checked, it wasn't your birthday." said Marcellous, referencing his nudity.

"NOW I know why you're mad all the time!" realized Raditz, using a thinly veiled sexual reference.

"I just realized! I love Bulma!" said Vegeta, putting on some spandex undies.

"Well, we'll help you out. Right, Raditz?"

"Right!"

"Shut up, I'm trying to sleep!" shouted an irate Goku.

"...First thing in the morning." whispered Marcellous.

"Right." said The other two as they went to their bunks.

10:00 AM – Dorm 666

The guys looked crapped out, especially after renovating a prick like Vegeta.

"Now, if you excuse me, I must regain my love." said Vegeta in a refined, upper-class accent.

* * *

"Guys...I think we outdid ourselves.". realized Goku.

"Well, I do think you laid the accent on too thick, Marcellous." criticized Trunks.

"Forget that, let's just hope Bulma isn't a dyke by now." said Marcellous.

* * *

Vegeta busted through the door, half naked and crying.

"Dude, what happened?" asked Spencer.

"Bulma dumped me...AGAIN! SHE SAID I WAS TOO CLASSY!" cried Vegeta in between sobs.

"I CAN'T TAKE THIS SHIT ANYMORE!" shouted Marcellous as he flew right through the ceiling.

He flew around the world in the direction opposite Earth's rotation, reversing time to the point where Vegeta and Bulma never broke up. Then he came back to his dorm.

* * *

Vegeta came through the door, happy as ever. "I just had the best date ever!" he announced.

"Well, that's a relief!" said Marcellous, looking at the other guys.

* * *

"Marcellous, wake up!" Goku shouted.

"I didn't do it!" Marcellous shot up from, crashing his head into the bottom of Vegeta's bunk.

"You had the dream where you flew opposite Earth's rotation and reversed time again, didn't you."

Marcellous sighed. "I gotta stop drinking and watching Superman at the same time."


	8. Fourth Wall? What Fourth Wall?

**Okay, I deleted this chapter because it was fucking stupid, the only shining moment being Vegeta getting hot wings shoved up his ass.**

**I got the idea from a random Sonic flash I saw on Newgrounds back in 2006, and being 11 years old at the time...let me break it down for you.**

**11-year-old Ultimate Saiyan: Hey, what if..I took that flash, changed all the Sonic characters to DBZ College characters, copied the extremely poor dialogue directly from the text bubbles, and passed it off as the newest DBZ College chapter! I'm so resourceful! (trollface)**

**No. I've matured in leaps and bounds since then. To be brutally honest. I want to go back into time and punch myself in the face, which I actually did two chapters ago.  
**

**So yeah...just keep reading.  
**


	9. Ultimate Saiyan does not like self pity

**Uh, yeah. Same deal as the last chapter. Keep going on. I promise this is the last time I'll do this.  
**


	10. HAR HAR NONCANON

"YOU WILL NEVER WIN!!!!", shouted Marcellous.

"THIS IS MADNESS!!!!" yelled Raditz.

"THIS...IS...ME KICKING YOUR ASS!!" exclaimed Marcellous.

"DAMN!!!" Said Raditz.

It turns out the two were playing a video game, Marcellous had just kicked Raditz into a pool of sulfuric acid, winning the game.

Meanwhile, Vegeta was beating the crap outta Goku for no apparent reason...

"Admit it, I'm a better pimp!!!" shouted Vegeta,standing on Goku.

"NO GOKU!!! DON'T GIVE IN!!!!SLAP HIM LIKE A HO!!!!" Yelled Spencer.

"Got it!" Goku then did the following.

Vegeta held his cheek, fell down, and got back up.

"No matter, I'm still a better P.I.M.P!!!" exclaimed Vegeta, still holding his now purple cheek.

"No way, everyone knows chick love dumb guys! Just check this out...OH CRAP I LOST MY ADDRESS BOOK!!!!" realized Goku.

"You mean this?" Said Vegeta as he held it up.

"Gimme back my address book, turd miner!!!!" yelled Goku.

"Not until I call..." Vegeta looked through the address book... "AMANDA HUGANDKISS!!! Wait..What the-"

Vegeta got tackled by Goku.

"I got it!" yelled Trunks. "I'll be right back!" Then he ran out the door.

A few minutes later, Trunks came in with a little box. He threw the box down, and it turned into a projector, which opened up a portal.

"Behold, With this, we will be able to see time! PAST,PRESENT,AND FUTURE!!!!"

"I call future." said Raditz.

"Let's see...Vegeta's future..."

The portal cleared up to reveal GT Vegeta walking down a hall in Capsule Corp.

"I hate morning sickness..." said Bra, leaning against a wall.

"Bra..Don't throw up..." said Vegeta, "....GET OVER A TOILET!"

"Papa...I'm pregnant..." announced Bra.

"Who knocked you up now?!" asked Vegeta.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ASKED ME THAT!!!!" shouted Bra, who ran off.

2 minutes later...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHaH!!!" Bulma and Trunks were laughing together.

"Get with the times dad, you NEVER ask who your children are sleeping with! Even mom knows that!" laughed Trunks, who then got a slap across the head.

"Bulma, did you know?" questioned Vegeta.

"Of course I did! She told me as soon as she found out." explained Bulma. "I didn't tell you because I knew you would throw a fit..."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I WOULD THROW A FIT?!?!?!?!!?OH MY GOD WOMAN I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD DO THIS!!!" yelled Vegeta.

"Honestly Vegeta, let your daughter have some privacy!!!"

"I just wanna know who the father is!!!!"

"She had a threesome with Goten and Gohan..."

Vegeta started foaming at the mouth and passed out.

"Mom...I don't think he's breathing..." said Trunks.

"They both took a paternity test,right?" asked Vegeta, who seemed to have miraculously recovered.

"They both tested negative,so calm down..."

"CALM DOWN!?!?!THAT JUST MEANS SHE'S BEEN SCREWING AROUND MORE!!!!...Oh my...WHAT IF KAKAROT IS THE FATHER!!!!!!"

"I wonder if Chi-Chi knows that Bra's slept with every man in that house?"

"Yes..I slept with them all..." revealed Bra, who was going out.

"SLUT!!!!HARLOT!!!!WHORE!!!!!!" blasted Vegeta, who was being restrained from killing something by Trunks.

"Pipe down before I perform chemical castration." threatened Bulma.

"SHE SLEPT WITH KAKAROT!!!! THAT'S UNFORGIVABLE!!!"

"BLOW IT OUT YOUR ASS!!!!SHE EXPLORING HER BODY!!!I DID IT AT HER AGE!!!" yelled Bulma.

"Woman?!?!?!" asked Vegeta.

"Mom?!?!?!?" asked Trunks.

"I slept with everyone. And I did Goku, before you ask. And you what? IT WAS A PRETTY GOOD ONE TOO!!!!"

"Uh...Mom...I think Dad's dead..." Trunks pointed to Vegeta, who was pale and no longer showing signs of life.

"I didn't mean it! Your sex is really the best!!!" cried Bulma.

"Mom's a slut...Bra's a slut... I'm so ashamed..." whispered Trunks,with anime tears in his eyes.

The portal the closed up.

"I think I learned something today." said Marcellous. "You have one fucked up future, man."


	11. The Black Pointy Hair Society!

"So..what were you saying about a fraternity, Marcellous?" asked Spencer.

"Do you wanna be a member?"

"Eh, Sure."

"What about me?" asked Trunks.

"No, you are...**UNNATURAL!!!!!!!**" said Raditz.

"How?"

"You disgrace us Saiyans with your LAVENDER hair!It's not part of the dress code!" added Vegeta.

"So how do I become a member?" aaid Spencer.

"Initiation."

2 Hours later...

The bunks were joined together by lavender bed sheets set up to make the two bunks look like the end of a tent. The guys,except Trunks,who left, were dressed in white muscle Shirts and black baggy sweatpants.

"So how do I do this again?" said Spencer.

"You must pledge to our leader!" said Goku,who pointed to a Shadow the Hedgehog plushie on a toy throne on top of the T.V.

Spencer bowed down to the plushie and pledged: "I promise to uphold the rules and tradition of the Black Pointy Hair Society,More commonly known as the BPHS." A few seconds after he said that, the Shadow plushie fell face-down off the T.V.

"Master accepts!" said the remaining 4.

"You are not done yet. You must complete 1 task given by each one of us. Choose who you want first." said Marcellous.

"I think I'll choose...Goku.."

"Make me a sammich!"

Spencer pulled a Subway sub out of his pocket and gave it to Goku.

"Mmm...Mozzarella!"

"Fetch My Hair Gel!" said Vegeta.

Spencer walked into the bathroom, went into the medicine cabinet, pulled out a bottle of hair gel, and threw it at Vegeta.

"Ow, My nose!" whined Vegeta in a nasal voice.

"Comb my hair!" commanded Raditz.

Spencer took the comb and jammed it in Raditz's hair.

"Get my-" Marcellous was interrupted.

"Fuck this! I'm not doing this!

"Well done! You passed the test!" Said Marcellous.

"Huh?"

"A TRUE Saiyan wouldn't do all that bullshit,not even for friends!"

"So..did I make the club?"

"You have one more step..."said Raditz, the comb still lodged in his hair.

"What?"

"...We have to jump you..."

"OH SHI-" Spencer couldn't finish the vulgarity as he got tackled by everyone.


	12. Author Surrogates are not Mary Sues

7:00 – Dorm 666

The guys had gotten back their test results from the test they took 2 months ago, and Marcellous got an A+, Spencer and Vegeta got an A, Trunks got an A-, Raditz got a B, and Goku barely passed with a D-.

Marcellous was reading a letter he got.

"Jesus Fucking Christ!" Marcellous shouted.

"What happened?" asked Trunks.

"My crazy cousin's coming for a visit!"

"What's wrong with that?" asked Goku.

"It's Blair."

The guys then grabbed their hearts in false shock, except Trunks and Spencer, who were puzzled.

"What's so bad about his cousin?" asked Spencer.

"Wait and see."

"Oh no..." gasped Marcellous, "It says he'll be here in 2 Saiyan weeks..."

"That's plenty of time!" Said Trunks.

"No! 2 Saiyan weeks is only 2 hours in Earth time!"

"When was the letter sent?" Asked Goku.

"...2 hours ago..."

Just then, a person who looked like Marcellous, but with brown hair and red eyes, walked through the door.

"Hey, cuzzo!" yelled the person, who bear hugged Marcellous.

"Oh...hey Blair..." squeaked Marcellous, nervously.

"So this is el duermo, huh?,"

"You want some burgers, steak..." started Raditz.

"Nah, I just turned a vegetarian!" revealed Blair.

"...Vegetarian?" asked Vegeta, unknowingly.

"Ya know, not eating meat..."

**"BLASPHEMY"** yelled all the Saiyans.

"What-" asked Blair.

**"YOU ARE A SAIYAN."** blasted Marcellous, **"IF YOU LIVED ON PLANET VEGETA LIKE EVERYONE ELSE DID, YOU WOULD KNOW THAT IF SOMETHING WAS EDIBLE, YOU EAT IT." THERE ARE NO SUBSTITUTIONS, THIS IS NOT A DELI."**

"Well, my religion-"

"DON'T GET ME STARTED-"

"ALRIGHT, I GET YOU."

Goku plugged his ears. "You guys really are cousins."

Vegeta played referee, The two got in fighting positions.

"No hitting below the belt, no kidney punches, no rabbit punches, unless you just can't help yourself!"then Vegeta stepped back.

Marcellous faked an uppercut and kneed Blair in the nuts.

"Illegal!" shouted Blair.

"No it isn't! You said no hitting below the belt, Blair isn't wearing a belt!" said Marcellous.

"Damn loopholes! Marcellous wins!" said Vegeta.

"You need some meat on you. You're a disgrace."

"Shut up." said Blair.

"Make me." said Marcellous.

Blair then rushed at Marcellous.

We haven't heard from him since.

* * *

"Marcellous?" Vegeta asked, "Marcellous, wake up!"

"Who died?"

"You were having the dream with your crazy cousin who looks almost identical to you again, right?"

"I gotta stop drinking absinthe, man. Shit's crazy."

* * *

**This will probably be my last update for '07, so I'll end the year with a spoiler from the next chapter.**

**Goku,**

**Naruto,**

**Ramen.**

**Merry belated Christmas,and Happy New Year!**


	13. Goku vs Naruto! Epic Battle!

**NOTE: Naruto characters used are the ones from the time skip!**

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------- **

Goku and Naruto were just walking...when a conveniently placed cup of ramen was just standing on a rooftop windowsill.

"Hey! Ramen!" yelled Goku.

"WHERE!?"

Goku was already halfway up the roof, then Naruto used a jutsu to get there.

"Mine!" Naruto was about to grab it, but Goku snatched it and jumped to another rooftop.

"Sucker..." whispered Goku...who then stopped in front of Naruto.

Goku turned around, and was met by another Naruto!He was surrounded by Narutos!

Then, Naruto snatched the ramen and ran away.

"Gotta go thanks bye!" He said. Then Naruto got punched in the face.

Hard.

The Ramen bowl fell and broke.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" yelled Goku.

"THIS IS YOUR FAULT YOU PUNCHED ME!!!!!" yelled Naruto.

"**THIS IS FOR THE RAMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNN!!!!"** yelled Goku, his hair turning gold.

"**I WILL AVENGE YOU RAMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"**yelled Naruto, his chakra turning red.

Naruto's eyes turned red,the marks on his cheeks turned coarser,his canine teeth getting larger. His chakra formed a tail on him.

Goku's eyes turned solid emerald green, his eyebrows and hair turned gold, and his aura became gold. He had become...a super saiyan of some sort...

"I'll kill you." Said Naruto.

"Not if I kill you first."

Naruto and Goku started to gather energy, and they formed blasts in their hands, and they did they're respective attacks.

"RASENGAN!!!!!!"

"KAMEHAMEHA!!!!!!!"

The Kamehameha hit Naruto, and he disappeared!Goku looked up, only to get a Rasengan to the face. Goku got up,bleeding out of his mouth, and punched Naruto. He disappeared again! There were Narutos everywhere, and Goku didn't know where the real one was!

Goku gathered energy...and did a super explosive wave. All the Narutos disappeared,and the real one was knocked into the air. Goku rushed him, and prepared a Kamehameha. Naruto punched him, But Goku Teleported! He reappeared behind Naruto and released the Kamehameha. Naruto fell to the ground. Naruto returned back to his normal state, unconscious. Goku descended, went to Naruto, and stole his wallet. "Hehe, Suck it." said Goku as he left.

Later on... Goku was at a ramen bar, eating some ramen, when Naruto walked into the bar.

"YOU STOLE MY WALLET PUNK!!!!!!!"

"Wanna fight for it?"

Goku and Naruto went outside, and got into fighting stances.

"Naruto, you fight great, but I'm a great fighter."

"You go first. Age before beauty."


	14. MEATLOAF OF DOOM

7:00 AM – Dorm 666

All the Guys, except Vegeta, were just sitting around, minding they're own business, Marcellous watching TV, Goku listening to his iPod, Raditz combing his hair, Spencer: Lying down on the couch, and Trunks polishing his sword.

Then Vegeta came in, holding something square and brown. He plopped it on the table, which made a sound that sounded like a crack.

"Vegeta, what the hell is that?" Asked Marcellous.

"Bulma made meatloaf. Try it if you dare." Was the arrogant Prince's answer.

"OHH!!! MEATLOAF!!!!!!" Said Goku and he rushed to it.

Goku was about to cut it, but as soon as the knife touched the meatloaf, it broke. "What the hell?" Goku tried to bit into it, resulting in his teeth being comically shattered.

"Let me try that." said Raditz. Raditz punched it, only to hear a loud crack. He stopped for a minute, before tearing up.

"You're all pussies. Let a man handle it." Said Vegeta, who then did a miniature Big Bang Attack on it.

When the smoke cleared, there stood the meatloaf, unscathed.

Then Marcellous walked up to it, and took it out side.

"KAMEHAMEHA!!!!!!!!"

"TWIN DRAGON BLAST!!!!"

"SPIRIT BOMB!!!!!"

A few minutes later, Marcellous came back in, plopped the meatloaf back on the table, and collapsed.

The Trunks came up. "YAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!" he yelled as he charged at the dreaded meatloaf with his sword. On contact with it, the Sword shattered.

"NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" Weeped Trunks.

Then Clare came in.

"You guys need some woman power." She said, then fired off a barrage of punches and kicks at the meatloaf.

A few minutes went by, after Clare was done, there stood the perfectly shaped meatloaf.

"Stand back."Said Spencer as he taped an explosive to the meat. He pushed the detonator, and when the smoke cleared, There stood the meatloaf.

2:00 PM – Dorm 666

Everybody had passed out, after trying everything from energy blasts to Goku's head, the meatloaf was still there.

Then Professor Bardock passed by to take a look at the dorm. Then he noticed the Meatloaf. He took out a fork and took a bit out of it like it was nothing. "Hmm...Nice meatloaf..." He said as he took it and walked off.


	15. Ultimate Battle Prolouge

2:00 PM – Dorm 666

The guys were just sitting around, each doing their own thing, besides Spencer, who went to get some soda, because he was going to play a prank on a certain soon-to-be Legendary Super Saiyan who had apparently set him up on a blind date with a gay guy.

Marcellous was just sitting around, Goku was shaving, and Raditz was on his phone.

...Oh, and Trunks was there, too.

"Yeah, Okay dad, I'll tell Headmaster Frieza you won't be in today..."

"Yes, I'll pick up the groceries..."

"...Eww, no!" Raditz shouted into his phone, "Go buy your own condoms!"

"..Who was that..." Vegeta asked, "And why is he asking for condoms?"

"..That was my dad..." Raditz glared at Vegeta, "..and he can't come in due to...meatloaf poisoning."

"No point in this, then." Vegeta reasoned as he grabbed the week-old, decaying, maggot-infested meatloaf and chucked it out the window.

**"HEY!"**

"YOU COULD USE A SHOWER ANYWAY, TURLES!" Vegeta shouted as he shut the window.

As soon as Vegeta turned around, he was sucked into some strange portal, along with the rest of the guys.

Then Spencer walked in.

"...What did I miss?"

* * *

The portal opened, dropping the guys into a dog pile.

"Oh, I'm so glad it worked!"

Vegeta stared at the woman "...Bulma?"

"Why are we here?" asked Trunks, "and why does it look so deserted?"

Bulma sighed, "To be honest, I've brought you to an alternate universe."

**"ALTERNATE UNIVERSE?"**

"You must understand, I've brought you here to stop an threat to the entire multiverse!" Bulma started, "The Red Ribbon Army-"

"Bullshit." Raditz interrupted, "They've been defunct for years."

" True as that may be, they made super androids, who terrorized the globe." Bulma explained, "Through trial and failure, the created five super android, who easily dominated the planet."

"What happened to us?" asked Marcellous.

Bulma had a saddened look on her face. "You had no idea of their existence until it was too late. You were all wiped out."

Raditz had a more understanding look on his face. "We'll do anything we can to help."

Bulma smiled as she walked up to a chamber. "Before anything can start, you guys will need to bring out some latent abilities. Step into the tank, please."

Raditz volunteered to go first. He walked into the chamber and closed the door behind him. Bulma pressed a few switches on the control panel as the chamber fluttered green. A few seconds went by, and Raditz emerged.

The whole room went silent.

"...You dyed his hair blond." Trunks deadpanned.

* * *

Everyone was standing around, all of them Super Saiyans, or as Trunks so quaintly put it - blond.

"So," Goku started, "When can we dish out some kickass?"

"I need to build a new gravity chamber, but I have two jobs to be taken care of" Bulma started, "The King of Crystal City has his daughter in a guarded castle, and is rewarding 10,000 zeni to whoever can rescue her and bring her back to the village to be married. The people of Papaya Island need a new World Tournament Ring and are rewarding another 10,000 zeni. Together that zeni will buy me the stuff to build to gravity chamber to help you guys against 100."

Marcellous smirked, "I think me and mop-head can take that princess crap." he gestured to Trunks.

"..I really have no say in this."

"Kakarot, you will help me with that World Tournament ring." Vegeta commanded.

"Sure thing, Veg-man!"

Raditz sulked, "Great, now I can't do anything."

"That's what she said!"


	16. Ultimate Battle: Rescuing The Princess

3:00 PM – Unknown Castle

Marcellous and Trunks had made it to the castle that supposedly held the princess they were supposed to rescue.

"Whew, what's that smell?" wondered Trunks, covering his nose.

Marcellous sniffed the air, "Sulfur. This cannot turn out good."

After the two had finished climbing the mountain, they reached a bridge, leading to the castle.

"Marcellous, I don't really know about this..."

"It's easy!" Marcellous laughed, "It's not like we're afraid of heights!"

Trunks remained silent.

"...Trunks, don't tell me you actually ARE afraid of heights."

"I'm sorry. It's just an accident I had when I was a kid."

"Well, I'll be with you every step of the way. Just don't look down." assured Marcellous as they started to cross the bridge.

"Right, don't look down, don't look down, don't loo-"

Then one of the boards broke off, almost sending Trunks into the magma below.

"AHHHH! I'm looking down!"

"Fly you idiot, FLY!" shouted Marcellous as he grabbed Trunks and flew to the other side, just before the bridge broke loose.

"Well, there goes our way out." confirmed Trunks as they entered the castle.

What they received was a shock.

The remains of those who tried and failed to rescue the princess adorned the entire castle.

"Well, You find the princess in the highest tower, I'll take the dragon." commanded Marcellous.

"How do you know there's a dragon, or that the princess is in a tower?"

"Quite simple, really." Marcellous smirked, "I wrote it."

* * *

Marcellous was scanning everywhere for the dragon.

Then something moved. Marcellous looked at the wall for a second, then he picked up a rock and threw it at the wall.

The wall moved away and roared at Marcellous.

"Oh, shit."

The wall slammed its heavy tail into the ground, the shockwave causing the nearby Trunks to be catapulted into the air.

* * *

A princess was knitting up in her room when Trunks came crashing in.

"Oh my God," she asked the young half-Saiyan, "Are you okay?"

"I should be..." He grunted.

"So I guess...you came to save me."

"Yeah."

"Well, congratulations! You were the first one to slay the dragon!"

"Yeah...about that..." Trunks stammered.

"You didn't slay the dragon?"

"Well, my friend is..." Trunks replied, "Uhh...I never did get your name, did I?"

"Karen." She introduced herself, "Nice to meet you."

"Well, I guess I should escort you to safety..."

"Shouldn't you be helping your friend?"

"Oh, I'm sure he can handle himself..."

Then Marcellous went flying through the air in the background.

**

* * *

**

3: 15 – Papaya Island

"Oh yes, you two have come to fix the World Tournament ring, no?" asked a stereotypically (but not in a racist way) old Asian man.

"Yeah, so where is it?" asked Goku.

"Over here."

There was no ring. The entire thing was gone.

"..Pardon me for asking..." Vegeta began, "but where is the zeni we are to be paid?"

"Oh, right here, yes!" the old man smiled as he grabbed it out of his robe.

**"YOINK!" **

Vegeta snatched the money and ran.**  
**

"Wait up, Vegeta!"

**

* * *

**Meanwhile, Marcellous was busy trying to slay the dragon.

"Damn, how am I gonna beat thi-"

Then the Dragon swallowed Marcellous. It looked content, until the Saiyan busted out of its stomach, killing it. Marcellous looked back at his kill, then walked outside.

"Well, that took long enough." Trunks said as he sat on a nearby rock.

"I'd like to see you try it."

Karen began to observe Marcellous. "So this is your friend, huh?" she asked, "..He's kinda cute, actually-"

"I'm in a relationship."

"Oh."

"Okay, cut the love fest." Trunks interjected, "Got the keys to the ship?"

"Yeah, they're right..."

Marcellous began patting himself down.

"..Somewhere back in the castle."

"Great, now we have to walk the rest of the way back!" Trunks complained.

"You complaining isn't gonna make it faster." Karen snapped as he started walking.

Marcellous was about to start walking too, when Trunks grabbed his arm. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

"What do you need?"

"Well, I think I'm in love..."

"Go for it."

"But I can't, she has to get married to someone else."

"Love knows no bounds, Trunks. She might like you back."

"But I'm too nervous. I know I'll mess up."

"Just try. It's a long way back, about a month, That gives you plenty of time. Get to know her, and you might just have a relationship."

"Alright, thanks."

"Any time, now let's get walking."

"Yeah."


	17. Ultimate Battle: Trunks So Horny

4:00 – Forest

Marcellous, Karen and Trunks were walking along in the forest, just walking toward the kingdom where Karen was to be married.

Marcellous' phone rang. "Hello?"

"Marcellous, where are you guys?" replied Bulma, on the other line.

"Well, we rescued the princess, but I lost the keys to the jet when I was eaten by a dragon...so...yeah..."

"Do you want me to send another jet?"

"That would REALLY be appreciated."

"It might take a few days to get it there, so hang on."

"Don't sweat it, I'm an expert at camping." Marcellous replied as he hung up.

"Who was that?" asked Trunks.

"Bulma. She can send a jet for us in about 4 days."

"Alright!" replied Karen, "I could use some civilization!"

"It's getting late, we should set up camp." declared Trunks.

"Oh, fine, you big baby." complied Marcellous, throwing down a few capsules.

One red capsule transformed into two sleeping bags, a green one transformed into a tent.

"Why only one tent?" asked Trunks.

"That's Karen's tent. The sleeping bags are for us, I'm teaching you how to ruff it."

"You're so kind." added Karen.

"You're welcome."

"Now where do we find dinner?" wondered Trunks.

"Done." said Marcellous, holding up a few dead rabbits.

"When did you-"

"You people pay no attention to rabbit holes."

"I'll cook those, thank you..." declared Karen, taking the rabbits from Marcellous.

* * *

9:00 – Campsite

Karen had taken the rabbits, cooked them, and the three were now feasting on Roasted Rabbit Stew.

"Where did you learn to cook this?" asked Marcellous, "It's a Saiyan recipe."

"Well, you gotta make do with what you have, you know?"

"Amen to that." Trunks replied.

_"This is all getting very suspicious.__" _Marcellous thought, _"I must be going crazy, there's no way she can be a Saiyan..."_

"Well, we should go to sleep." said Karen, putting out the fire and going into her tent. "See you too tomorrow."

Then they waited until they were sure Karen was asleep.

12:00 – Campsite

Marcellous and Trunks were looking up at the stars.

"Man, she is SO hot..." droned Trunks.

"Just take it easy."

"But I can't stand it anymore, I have to tell her how I feel!"

"Then you go do that!"

"Alright then, I WILL!" shouted Trunks, walking toward the tent.

"Moron." whispered Marcellous, going to sleep.

* * *

Marcellous was woken up to the sound of rocking, moaning, and groaning. Then he looked over at Trunks' sleeping bag.

It was empty.

Then he looked over at Karen's Tent.

The light was on.

"Oh God, he better not be-OH GOD HE IS." gasped Marcellous, eavesdropping.

Then Marcellous ran into the tent.

Trunks was on top of Karen.

They were both naked and sweaty.

"Can't a man get any peace on his first time?" shouted Trunks.

"**DUDE, I TOLD YOU TO TALK TO HER, NOT POP HER CHERRY!"**

7:00 AM – Forest

Trunks and Karen were walking ahead of Marcellous, holding hands and giggling together.

"Yeah, He actually did it! I can't believe it either. Yeah, I let them finish, it was their first time! Alright, I gotta go." gossiped Marcellous, hanging up the phone.

There was a river, with them on the side with a tree.

Trunks flew over to the other side and pulled down the tree, allowing the remaining two to walk over the river.

Karen crossed the river, when Marcellous was halfway there. Trunks let go of the tree, catapulting Marcellous back a mile or two.

8:45 AM – Forest

The Three were almost to the castle of Karen's father, as it was only a mile or two away.

"...Marcellous, you don't look to good..." said Karen.

"You think?" asked Marcellous, who comically had a black eye and had various twigs and branches, not to mention a bird's nest, caught in his hair.

"No, not that, I mean, you look pale."

"I do? I feel fine."

"Yeah, but next thing you know, you're on your back." said Karen.

Then Marcellous gave Karen a questioning look.

"Dead."

"Oh, you look so sick, so you want to lie down?" asked Trunks, catching on.

"Well, I think my asthma may be – Hey, wait a minute, you two are trying to get me to sleep so you can have more sex! I won't give in so easily."

"How did you know?" Asked Trunks.

"Vegeta and Bulma tried that last year in class!" retorted Marcellous. "AND GOT AWAY WITH IT!"

"So what now?" asked Karen.

"Seize the day. Carpe diem. Head to the castle."

Then the three kept walking.

9:15 AM – King's Castle

The Three Arrived at the castle, only to find the inside trashed and destroyed.

"Oh my God, daddy!" cried Karen.

"This place has been trashed for about a year now..." examined Trunks.

"Probably by androids."

**"NEED A LIFT?"** Called a familiar voice from outside.

"Bulma!" shouted Marcellous.

He was right, because Bulma was outside in a jet.

"Come on, Let's go!" shouted Trunks, running outside with Marcellous.

"Okay," said Karen, but not before grabbing a piece of paper sticking out of the ground.

* * *

"I though you'd never come!" said Marcellous, finally inside the jet with the rest of the guys.

"Where's the zeni?" asked Bulma.

"Right here. Said Trunks, holding it up.

"Hey Marcellous, I found this paper back in the castle, and it was in some weird writing, can you check it out for me.?" asked Karen, handing Marcellous the paper she took.

Marcellous examined it, and was shocked when he read it.

"Oh my God, I knew it, you ARE a Saiyan!" exclaimed Marcellous. "These are adoption papers!"

Happiness was the main feeling as the jet soared toward Capsule Corp.

Outside, waiting for them, was a man with black hair and metallic silver skin.

"It is time, master. The ones from the next dimension have some to defeat us. They will fail, as did those before them." said the person in a metallic voice. "Even if they were to defeat me, they will not defeat the other 6."


	18. Ultimate Battle: The Weakest Of Them All

"Who is that guy?" asked Goku as the ship landed.

"I don't know, but I think He's one of the androids..."answered Vegeta.

"Well well well, you must know me pretty well." said the metallic-sounding man.

"If you wanna fight, do where nobody can get hurt." resolved Raditz.

"Follow us. I saw a plain field that we passed." said Trunks as he flew up into the air.

"Fine. I will grant your final wish." said the android as he too flew up, along with the rest of the guys.

* * *

Trunks landed in a grassy field, followed by the other guys and the android.

"Alright. Those who wish to die, step forward." said the android.

"I think I'll take you on." answered Marcellous.

"You will be killed by me, Android 87.

"Alright 87, you must know, I won't be messing around in this match." said Marcellous, becoming a Super Saiyan.

"Be careful Marcellous, this guy doesn't look easy." warned Goku.

"Hey, it's me your talking about, don't worry!" assured Marcellous.

"If you're done, I would like to start now." said 87, getting into a fighting stance.

"Alright, If you're in such a hurry..." said Marcellous, also getting into a fighting stance.

Then, without any warning, 87 charged at Marcellous. He blocked, but 87 teleported behind him and hit him with two closed fists, sending him to the ground. Marcellous quickly flipped back up, only to be greeted by a gut punch. He threw a straight punch to to 87's jaw, but it had no effect. Then Marcellous fired off a barrage of punches and kicks. They all had no effect, and 87 grabbed Marcellous by the leg and threw him into a nearby boulder.

"Damn it, who ARE you?" wondered Marcellous.

"I told you, I am the instrument of your defeat."

Then Marcellous started charging up a yellow blast, one in each hand. Then he threw off a barrage of large Ki blasts, finishing it off with a large yellow blast.

"I think he got him..." said Vegeta.

While the smoke was still in the air, a slim, red beam came out of it. Marcellous barely dodged it, as it tore off a piece of the spandex on his bodysuit. When the smoke cleared, there standing was 87, completely unharmed.

"I..I missed every s-shot..."

"_It hurt, It's a good thing I regenerated before they saw the damage..." _thought 87.

"I'll put everything I got into this one..." said Marcellous, putting his hands together at his waist.

"That amassed ball in his hands...how did he gather it so quickly?" shouted 87.

"That's it Marcellous! Show him what Saiyans are made of!" shouted Vegeta.

"KAMEHAMEHA!" shouted Marcellous as he fired a large blue blast. 87 tried to block it, but when the smoke cleared, both of his arms were blasted clean off.

"Yeah! Eat that, you metallic son of a bitch!" shouted Raditz.

"I must warn you, this time, you will NOT survive!" said 87 to Marcellous, as a silvery liquid secreted from what was left of his arms, replacing the lost parts. Then he started humming a mantra. In a short amount of time, his eyes turned a lavender color, and the veins around his eyes popped out around them.

"Now..." said 87, "You will witness the terror of the BYAKUGAN!"

"Byakugan! Impossible!" shouted Trunks.

"These eyes are the result of a long process. After witnessing the Byakugan, my creator was able to replicate them and give them to me, along with its abilities.

"Byakugan or not, I won't lose!" shouted Marcellous, charging 87.

87 dodged the punch Marcellous threw at him, and hit a few of the pressure points in his right arm, the arm that threw the punch. Then Marcellous punched with the other arm, with the same result as the last punch. As both of 87's arms were busy, Marcellous tried to charge up another Kamehameha, but he couldn't.

"What happened? I can't gather energy!" noticed Marcellous.

"That is because I hit your energy points. As long as my Byakugan is in effect, you will not be able to generate any more ki. Energy attacks are out of your use reach for the rest of the battle."

"Well, then...I guess I'll have to use a natural attack..." said Marcellous as he put his hands on his forehead.

"What the are you doing no-"

"SOLAR FLARE!"

In a bright flash of light, 87 could no longer see. He was blind. The Byakugan was canceled, as his eyes were no longer functioning.

"Damn you!" said 87 as he ripped out of his eyes, instantly growing back a new, fully functional pair of eyes through the same silvery liquid that gave him back his arms.

"Now...let's try this again..." said Marcellous as he got into the Kamehameha stance.

"Finish him with this one!" shouted Vegeta.

"KAMEHAMEHA!" shouted Marcellous, once again firing that all-to-familiar blue blast.

"I won't fall for it again!" shouted 87 as he deflected back the monstrous blast with his bare hand. Stunned that his blast backfired, Marcellous blocked. As the smoke cleared and the explosion was averted, Marcellous stood there weakly. His arms were stripped of the spandex from the bodysuit, as the were both covered with blood, which was dripping to the ground.

"Now he's fucked!" pointed out Goku.

"Now both of your arms are completely out of use." said 87.

"_Damn, I'm really done for now. Without my arms, I won't be able to fight anymore..."_ thought Marcellous.

"...87...all my chances of winning are completely gone...kill me..." said Marcellous in a sickly voice.

"What is he saying! He can't give up now!" shouted Trunks.

"That...I will do." said 87, as he put his hand to ground, summoning a sword. "Consider yourself honored...you will be the first one to be killed by this sword, dipped in my special poison!"

"_I can't believe it...Today...I let down everybody who ever thought I could make it to the top...I'm nothing without my arms...I always thought I would make it to be the best of the medical industry...but a doctor is nothing without his arms...everybody always called me a genius...I'm nothing special...look what the genius got himself into now...I...I guess I deserve to die..."_ thought Marcellous, closing his eyes, waiting for impact.

But he heard Goku yell.

Marcellous looked up...and saw blood dripping onto the floor. Goku had jumped in front of the sword before it hit him, and the blade pierced his armor, but not coming out the the other end.

"Goku...why...why did you save me..." asked Marcellous.

"Because...You were always the smartest of us...why would you make such a stupid decision...You have to beat this guy...show him what Saiyans are made of..." choked Goku as he put his hand on Marcellous. "Take my energy...and finish him off..." said Goku, as a blue aura left his hand and found it's way into Marcellous' body.

"Don't worry, Goku...I will." said Marcellous, as Goku collapsed.

"...Is he dead?" asked Raditz.

"No, but his pulse is weak. Take him back to Capsule Corp. so Bulma can heal him." examined Marcellous as he pulled the sword out of Goku's back. "And hurry."

"But what about you?" asked Vegeta.

"I'll be fine, but just get Goku to safety. Leave me here!" shouted Marcellous.

"No. I'll stay here. You'll need me." said Trunks, sitting down.

"Hmph. So the weak fool wanders into the jaws of death." said 87.

Then Marcellous started to charge up a ball in one of his hands, It was white, with a starry aura around it.

"I won't let you do it!" shouted 87, charging Marcellous.

"Then prepare for the Other World."

Marcellous fired the ball, and it came into contact with 87. 87 flinched for a moment, then blew up. When the smoke cleared, all of 87 was gone, save for his head.

"I...I d-did it..." said Marcellous, going out of Super Saiyan and collapsing.

"No...my internal processing unit...without it...I can't regenerate..." said 87's head.

"Serves you right." said Trunks, walking up to 87's head.

"You fool! You have defeated me, but you will not defeat the other six-"

"Oh, shut up!" said Trunks, stepping on the head. "Now...Let's get you back to Capsule Corp." he said, walking over to Marcellous.


	19. Ultimate Battle: What Friends Do

2: 15 PM – Capsule Corp

Trunks had just rushed Marcellous into the emergency room, where Bulma had already bandaged up Goku and had him attached to a drip.

"Oh my God, what happened to his arms?!" asked Bulma.

"Android 87."

"No...87 did THAT to him!"

"Yeah, why so surprised?"

"The Androids must have been getting stronger, the rest of them called him the weakest!" shouted Bulma.

"No, that can't be right, Marcellous was almost killed by him!" explained Trunks, putting Marcellous down on a stretcher.

"I'll have to put Marcellous in the rejuvenation chamber..."

"Uhhh..." grunted Marcellous, trying to sit up. "Goku...how's Goku..."

"He's in critical condition, the sword almost grazed his heart. I was able to get a blood transfusion from Raditz, but he needs to have a surgery to remove the sword and armor shards inside his body from the impact."

"...Ha..Have you ran a diagnostic check yet..."

"Yeah, but the chances of the surgery being a success are tied 50/50..."

"How far spread apart are the shards?" asked Marcellous, getting a little desperate.

"The shards from the sword were tainted with poison, so Goku only has about 2 weeks to live without the surgery. He needs to have an antidote, so the poison won't affect the course of the surgery."

"Then let me perform the surgery." asked Marcellous.

"But you're not eligible in your condition, the surgery will involve high amount of medication and anesthesia, which could possibly exacerbate your asthma, will could kill you!" explained Bulma.

"I'll do anything to help my friends, even if it means sacrificing my life." said Marcellous.

"Fine, but let's heal your wounds in the rejuvenation chamber." said Bulma as she started moving the stretcher out of the E.R.

3: 45 PM – Capsule Corp. living room

Vegeta, Raditz and Trunks were sitting in the living room, watching TV.

"...I just can't believe it." said Trunks. "...87 was the weakest..."

"And he almost killed Marcellous AND Goku..." added on Raditz.

"...and left both of them near death..." ended Vegeta.

Just then, Marcellous come out of the rejuvenation chamber, a little wobbly, better condition that before, even though his arms were bandaged up in a few places.

"...There's out little fighter!" said Raditz.

"Shut up." said Marcellous, sitting down.

"Remember Marcellous, you can't move your arms too much, they're still strained." reminded Bulma.

"Ok, I got it."

"Well excuse me, but I got to go use the shitter." said Raditz as he got up.

Then Vegeta started to snicker.

"What so funny, I don't get it!" asked Trunks.

"**DAMNIT VEGETA! YOU ALWAYS LEAVE NASTY FLOATERS!!"**

"That!"

9:00 PM – Capsule Corp. guest room

The guys were getting ready to go to bed in the guest room, even though Capsule Corp. was the only still running business in the area, it was still top-notch.

"Hey, did anyone notice Marcellous didn't come in with us?" asked Trunks, pointing to Marcellous's empty bed, with his sleeping clothes still folded on it.

"He's probably out on the balcony, looking out at the wreckage." suggested Vegeta.

"Why would he be doing that?"

"He does that to think without distraction." answered Raditz.

But, Vegeta and Raditz were both wrong, as Marcellous was in the E.R.

"Goku, you didn't have to save me...but I don't know why you did." said Marcellous to Goku's apparently unconscious body. "I won't let you die." He said as he walked out of the E.R. And turned the lights off. Little did he know, Goku was listening.

"..Th...thank you..." whispered Goku before he once again slipped into sleep.

12:25 AM – Capsule Corp. library

Marcellous was changed into his sleeping clothes, and he had a few books around him on the table, most of them labeled as medical encyclopedias, which he occasionally looked at while writing things down on papers describing the properties of Goku's surgery.

"Why are you up so late?" asked Bulma, who just walked in.

"Couldn't sleep."

"Guilt got you on hold, huh?"

"Well, of course it does. One of my life-long friends is gonna die if I can't fix a problem with his body that I caused in the first place."

"You need to stop blaming yourself." said Bulma, grabbing a seat next to Marcellous, "It could have happened to any of you."

"...Why are you here anyway?" Marcellous asked Bulma.

"I went to go get some water, and I saw the lights on in the library, so I came in."

"Well, you go do that." said Marcellous.

"Fine. Good luck in finding the antidote." said Bulma as she left.

"I have to find a way, I just have to!" said Marcellous.

4:32 AM – Capsule Corp. library

Raditz too, had gotten to get some water (or to raid the fridge for some leftover pizza, who knows?) and had seen the lights on in the library and went to check it out.

What he found was Marcellous.

Marcellous was asleep on his notes, and there were even more medical books on the table that before, to the point where Marcellous had to resort to stacking the books _around_ him to prevent the table from collapsing.

Raditz then crept up to the sleeping Marcellous, _just _when he yawned in his face.

"_Eeeeewww...pre-morning breath..."_ thought Raditz.

"I might as well take him back to the room." said Raditz as he picked up Marcellous. What he noticed on the paper was more of a shock to him, however.

"_I can't believe it...he actually did it...I knew he could."_ thought Raditz with a smile as he turned off the lights and carried Marcellous out of the library.

What he was so shocked about, however, was that Marcellous had written down the ingredients needed for an antidote..but he was more shocked to find that...in the little box on the left side of the surgery statistics paper, where the rate for surgery success was...the 50 mark has a red line running through it..and right by it's side..was a red 58 in Marcellous's own handwriting.


	20. Ultimate Battle: Mystic Showdown

6:00 AM – Mountain Road

"I don't get it #100, where are these guys supposed to be?" asked a tall, lanky, metallic looking and sounding man into a scouter he had.

"Patience #92...they should be here in a few minutes." answered the voice on the other side.

Just then, Vegeta, Raditz, and Trunks were flying over the same area.

"I'm telling you man, Goku is NOT gonna survive that surgery, you heard the stats!" Trunks said to Raditz.

"Why do you have to think so negative? I saw Marcellous raise the statistics last night! He WILL complete the surgery!"

"Hey Vegeta, why are you landing?"

"Android." answered Vegeta as he descended onto the Mountain Road.

"ANDROIDS? WHERE?! GRRR...I'LL RIP 'EM APART!!" threatened Raditz, and unknowingly he flew top-speed into a mountain, crash landing him down to the Mountain Road.

"Well finally I get a chance at some action." said the Android, apparently known as #92.

"Alright, come on ya bucket of bolts! Put you're dukes up!" shouted Raditz, putting his fists up in a very Yamcha-esque way.

"Fine, you arrogant fool, I, Android 92, will defeat you using my MYSTIC powers!"

Then, in a fit or rage, Vegeta rushed past Raditz and started throwing a flurry of rushes and combos at 92.(A/N: You'll only get this if you've seen "Alternate Reality DragonBall Z" on Youtube.)

"Whoa whoa whoa, what the rush big boy?" asked 92, dodging all of Vegeta's reckless attacks.

"MYSTIC! I HATE ALL THINGS MYSTIC AND YOU ARE MYSTIC SO THEREFORE I HATE YOU AND I MUST DESTROY ALL THINGS MYSTIC SO THEREFORE I MUST DESTROY YOU!!" shouted Vegeta, increasing the speed of his already fast combos.

By now, you couldn't even see Vegeta's arms OR 92's dodging.

"Whoa, what's with the Mystic hate?" Trunks asked Raditz.

"It all started back when he was 4 years old..."

_Flashback_

_2:00 PM – Amusement Park_

_Kid Vegeta and King Vegeta, who's goatee was only a little stubble at this point in time, where having fun together, as father and son. (A/N: Awwwwwww...)_

"_Ooohhh daddy let's go on this one next!" shouted little Vegeta, jumping up and down and pointing to a tent with "Werewolves: The Mystic Wonders of Folklore. NOW IN IMAX 3-D"._

"_Ok, ok! Settle down son!" said King Vegeta. "Don't you think this is a little to violent for you? I mean, it IS rated R!"_

"_Nonsense daddy! I'm YOUR son!"_

"_Damn right you are!"_

"_What?"_

"_Nevermind." said King Vegeta as him and his son walked into the tent._

"_Werewolves, the most mystic and feared creatures in all of folklore." boomed the voice of the narrator. The voice was also accompanied by a few pictures showing the transformation of human to werewolf._

"_...That's not so bad..." whispered Vegeta, his lower lip quivering._

"_Werewolves are said to come out at night, and prey on other humans, using they're sharp claws to rip apart human flesh and pick and eat the human's vital organs." this narrative was accompanied by a very gruesome and graphic, not to mention accurate, depiction of a werewolf eating a human._

"_I'm kinda scared..." whispered yet again Vegeta, this time his eyes watering._

_And since the movie was 3-D, the werewolf decided to growl, making his head appear to pop out of the screen, which didn't help Vegeta, since he was in the front row._

"_RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" howled the werewolf._

"_WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!! MYSTIC WEREWOLVES SCARE ME!!" cried Vegeta._

_End Flashback_

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! I HATE MYSTIC!!" shouted Vegeta as he finally got off 92 and turned Super Saiyan.

"Oh...a Super Saiyan..I'M SO SCARED!!" mocked 92, pretending to shake in his boots.

"You should be!" shouted Vegeta. As 92 was still mocking him, he took the opportunity and punched him clear across the road.

"Ohhh...you did something you shouldn't have..." said 92 in a very General Blue-esque voice, his head doing that freaky Exorcist spin until it was back into place.

"Ewww...that's creepy..." whined Vegeta, in a very childlike manner. "It doesn't look-" then he got punched into the side of the mountain.

"Take that...BITCH!" shouted 92.

Then a Big Bang Attack came out of the hole Vegeta was in.

92 easily dodged it, since it was a distraction for Vegeta to fly out of the hole.

"That was SO stup-" 92 couldn't finish his sentence as Vegeta when batshit insane on his ass.

"YAAAAAAAH!!TAKETHISYOUMYSTICBASTARD!!YUDCASFHASIFHAISFHFD"were just a few parts of the inaudible speech Vegeta spoke.

Then Vegeta back up and fired another Big Bang Attack. But since this time it was point-blank, 92 was able to deflect it.

When the smoke cleared, Vegeta was there, in the same disposition Marcellous was in a few days ago.

"Shit, now I know how Marcellous feels..." realized Vegeta.

"YAAAAHHH!!" rushed 92, preparing the final blow.

When all of a sudden, a foot came out of nowhere and kicked 92 in the face as he was about to strike Vegeta, sending him back a few feet, and giving him a bad case of road rash on his back.

"Why you little..." mumbled 92. "Wait...what are you-" 92 couldn't finish as he was blown to pieces by an all to familiar blue blast.

"Who..." asked Vegeta as he looked behind him to see who just saved his royal ass.

It was Goku.

"SEE? I TOLD YOU MARCELLOUS DID IT! NOW UP!!" Raditz shouted to Trunks, holding out his empty hand.

"Shit, I didn't think it was possible..." remarked Trunks, handing Raditz a 50 dollar bill.

"Wow Vegeta, I didn't think I would need to ACTUALLY SAVE YOU." remarked Goku, back to his old regular self.

"Just shut up." requested Vegeta.

"I think we should head back to Capsule Corp. now, I didn't get the chance to thank Marcellous." said Goku as they all stated to fly up, but Vegeta, who was pretty freakin' pissed that he wasn't able to finish off a Mystic Loser decided to fly in back.

7:45 AM – Capsule Corp.

"Well, I hope this isn't a recurring theme, I'm starting to think It's natural!" remarked Bulma, seeing Vegeta's arms.

"How did the surgery go?" asked Raditz.

"Oh, It went fine, I only helped, Marcellous was the one that performed the surgery."

"Where is he right now? I never thanked him." asked Goku.

"The chemicals and medicines he had to use almost triggered an Athsma attack, but it didn't. He still has some breathing problems though."

"Not anymore I don't! I'm here in all flesh and blood!" announced Marcellous,walking through the door.

"Thankyouthankyouthankyou!!" shouted Goku as he bear hugged Marcellous.

"Gee...thanks...(cough)...but Goku...(hack)...you're starting to crack my ribs..."

"Oh sorry!" apologized Goku as he put Marcellous down.

"So how was the battle?" asked Goku.

"Something tells me it had a miracle involved...like a MYSTIC Miracle!" wondered Bulma.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! I HATE MYSTIC!!"


	21. Ultimate Battle: Drunken Warrior Raditz

9:15 AM - Forest Clearing

A metallic looking female android was walking across the field, apparently looking for something.

"100, just what the hell am I looking for again?" she asked to herself.

"Your looking for those Saiyans we killed years ago, 75. Jesus, are you on your period or something?" came the voice on the other end.

Meanwhile, the guys were back at Capsule Corp., just chilling out.

"Man, I'm bored." said Goku, turning on the TV.

"Turn to channel 70, I think Girls Gone Wild is on." said Vegeta.

"What's so special about that?" asked Marcellous.

"College Edition."

"Awwwww yeah!" said Goku and Marcellous.

Then Raditz started coughing.

"Oooh, Raditz, that doesn't sound to good." stated Trunks.

"Yeah, it's been bothering me for a couple of days. I told Bulma, she said she would fix me some medicine."

"Well, I'm gonna go..umm...see how Karen's doing! Yeah..." said Trunks as walked out.

"Yeah, more like see how her cooch is doing..." mumbled Marcellous.

"What was that?" asked Vegeta.

"Back in the woods...I saw some shit I shouldn't have..." shuddered Marcellous.

"Guys, I got some news!" said Bulma as she walked into the room. "My scanner picked up a new android in the forest!"

"Well, guess I won't be seeing any boobies today." said Vegeta as he turned off the TV. "...unless..."

"Don't even think about it, I'm not flashing you." said Bulma.

Then Raditz started coughing again.

"Speaking of that, I finished the medicine you asked for, Raditz!" said Bulma, as she handed it to him. "Let it set for 15 minutes, then drink the whole thing."

"Got it." Said Raditz as he walked away with everyone else.

Then Bulma pulled out a torpedo and started drinking from it.

"Huh?Cough medicine?What happened to my whiskey?" asked Bulma as she went back to her lab.

"You know, I have a bad feeling about this." said Goku, as him and the others, minus Trunks, flew to the woods.

"Hey Vegeta, where you serious about Bulma flashing you?" asked Marcellous.

"Oh come on, she's about 10 years older then the Bulma we know, so I'm sure she's...matured...nicely..." fantasized Vegeta,

"Only that could come from a guy who has sex on a daily basis."

"What? A guy can dream, can't he?"

"Hey guys, I think he see something in that clearing." said Raditz, as he lowered down to the clearing next to the android.

"And you are?" asked Goku.

"I'm Android 75, and I'm here to kill you." she said.

"Well you're gonna have to go through us!" said Raditz.

Then the others backed up, leaving Raditz standing alone.

"Fine, I'll do it...PUSSIES!!" shouted Raditz.

Then 75 started attacking Raditz.

"Ha! You call this a fight? Psshhh..." scoffed Raditz.

"You can dodge, I'll give you that. But I bet you're a virgin." retorted 75.

"Ooooh! She's got you there, man!" shouted Vegeta.

"Well at least I'm waiting for marriage, unlike a few people I know!"

"Hey man, Me and Rae where drunk **AND YOU KNOW IT!!**" shouted Marcellous.

"Oh yeah? Well- OH MY PRIDE AND JOY!!" shouted Raditz as 75 gave him a low blow.

"Hmph. Men, they're all the same." scoffed 75.

"...So I guess your a lesbian then!" shouted Goku.

"I don't know, why don't you come over here and find out..." said 75, seductively.

"Sorry, I'm taken!"

Then Raditz kicked 75 in the cooch.

"Hurts, doesn't it?" asked Raditz. "DOESN'T IT?!"

"Actually..no, not very much."

"Soo...it doesn't hurt if women get kicked in the genitals."

"Nah, it's just a little tingle."

"Ohhh..." realized Raditz.

Then they both stared fighting again.

"YOU FIGHT LIKE A GIRL!!" shouted Raditz.

Then 75 punched Raditz clear across the clearing.

"YOU BASTARD!!" shouted 75 as she picked him up and started slapping him.

"I...(slap)...hate...(slap)...being...(slap)...called...(slap)...A GIRL!!..(pimp-slap)"

"I never knew girls could be so pissy..."

"...Are you on you're period?" asked Vegeta.

"No, really? What gave you you're first clue?" sarcastically said 75.

"Raditz, hasn't it been 15 minutes yet?" remembered Goku.

"Yeah, it is, actually." said Raditz as he chugged to hole bottle down.

"Hey guys, what did I miss?" asked Trunks, landing down to the other guys.

Then Raditz collapsed.

"You see what you did, you made Raditz fall down!" shouted Vegeta.

Then Raditz got back up, very slowly, and started wobbling around, almost like he was drunk.

"Who are you guys...Huuuuuuuuuh?!" slurred Raditz.

"What the hell is going on with _him_?" asked 75.

"RAHHHH!!" shouted Raditz as he ran around in circle...but then he tripped over himself.

"Uhhhhh...YOU TRIPPED ME!!" shouted Raditz, pointing at 75.

"I don't get it, what happened?" asked Trunks.

"...Whiskey..." said Vegeta, as he picked up the bottle and sniffed it.

"...Raditz can't have whiskey..." trembled Goku.

"...Say what?" asked Trunks.

"Raditz is the least alcohol savvy of us all... he can't handle something as strong as whiskey." explained Marcellous, a look of sheer terror on his face.

Meanwhile, 75 was viciously attack Raditz, who has limply dodging then all.

"Hurrrrrr...you smell purdey..." slurred Raditz, as he bear-hugged 75.

75 pushed Raditz off of her, put then he started walking on his hands while kicking at her!

"Grrrr...He's gonna make me do something I didn't wanna do..." mumbled 75, blocking Raditz,s walking kicks.

Then Raditz stopped the kicks and fell asleep on the grass.

75 poked Raditz, making sure he was asleep. Then she tried to punch him, but he rolled to his side, she tried to punch him again, put he rolled to his other side, then the cycle continued to the point where it got ridiculous, and when 75 was about to deliver the final punch, Raditz woke up and caught her hand.

"Shit, why did you go and interrupt my good sleep?" asked Raditz, before he lifted her up by her hand.

"What are you doing?" asked 75, put then Raditz used his other hand and punched her in half!

"Holy Shit!" shouted Trunks, "He's strong as a drunk, and he's not even a Super Saiyan!"

Then Raditz started taking her apart (A/N: teehee! "taking her apart"...) robotic limb by limb, until he was down her head alone.

"Well...shit."

Then Raditz stepped on her head.

"Awesome Raditz, you did it!" shouted Goku.

"You bet you're ass I did!" said Raditz as he ran towards the group, but once again, tripped over nothing.

"...Uhhhh...HEY! You tripped me!" shouted Raditz as he ran towards the group.


	22. Ultimate Battle: Usurpation of Victory

10:25 AM – Capsule Corp.

They guys were just chilling out, watching TV, with Raditz recovering from a major hangover.

"Oh man...I really did that?" asked Raditz, holding his head.

"Yeah man, you completely tore her to pieces!" replied Vegeta. "...Then you passed out when you tried to rush us."

"Why did I pass out?"

"You tripped over nothing...AGAIN...and though we tripped you." said Goku.

"Man, I wish I had a PS3." said Marcellous.

"PS3? Man, that sucks. The Wii is better!" said Vegeta.

"Wii? Oh, you mean, Wii have shitty graphics?" retorted Marcellous.

"Wii beats out the PS3 any day!"

"YOUR MOTHER BEATS OUT THE PS3!"

Then Vegeta gasped. "Oh, you motherfucker."

Marcellous looked appalled. "I'd rather be a motherfucker than be a COCKMONGLER!"

"You're both wrong." said Goku. "..The 360 is better."

"360 SUCKS MONKEY FUCK!" shouted Marcellous and Vegeta.

"And _how_ does it suck?"

"Well, for starters..." said Marcellous, "It's more prone to hardware failures, specifically the RroD."

"And you have to pay for online service." added Raditz.

"True, but it's the only Next-Gen console that allows in-game chat." replied Goku.

"Yeah, but you'll go bankrupt buying batteries for the controller." said Vegeta.

"The Wii uses batteries too."

"But you can buy the chargeable ones."

"And the PS3 is the only true wireless, since it charges via USB, and you can access it from you're PSP." said Marcellous.

"In short, the 360 sucks, and the Wii and PS3 are constantly going head-to-head." ended Raditz.

"True...but SSBB kicks ass."

"Oh yeah? Well MGS4 kicks even MORE ass."

"Both of you, stop it." said Goku.

"Hey guys, There's a new android over there in the remains of Kame House!" said Trunks, walking in.

They other's did hear him.

"...Guys?"

"Oh, Trunks. Karen's sleeping right now, but she wanted me to give you something." said Goku, as he handed Trunks a pregnancy test.

"What the...OH GOD, IT'S POSITIVE!" shouted Trunks as he ran out of Capsule Corp., leaving the pregnancy test behind.

Then all the guys started laughing.

"Man, the poor schmuck doesn't know a rigged pregnancy test when he sees one!" laughed Marcellous, walking over to the rigged test and picking it up.

10:15 AM – Sky

"Man, I can't believe this...I'm gonna be a dad..." said Trunks, flying through the air. Then he got punched in the face by a figure, which sent him into a nearby island.

"Hmph, so what 100 said true, they _have_ come back." said the figure who punched Trunks.

"Who..who are you?" asked Trunks, getting out of the rubble, and wiping a little blood of of his mouth.

"I'm Android 69, and I remember when I killed you."

"You...you bastard.." said Trunks.

Then 69 rushed up to him and kneed him in the gut. "The poor git killed himself, I did nothing." Then he punched Trunks away. Trunks tried to charge up for an attack, but 69 charged up quicker, and fired a green blast at Trunks, sending him a few feet away. Trunks tried to get up, but 69 choked him, keeping him pinned to the ground.

"Hmph, you're so weak, you're not even worth a proper fight." growled 69, as he charged up a red concentrated energy in his other hand. "KARMA PUNCH!" He shouted, thrusting his fist into Trunks' lower stomach, which should have sent him flying, but didn't because he was still being choked.

"Like I said, not even worth the proper fight." reminded 69, as he dropped the unconscious Trunks and flew off.


	23. Ultimate Battle: Return from Defeat

11:15 AM – Capsule Corp.

The guys were still lounging about, being...you know, college students. Raditz was sleeping, trying to recover from his hangover. At the same time, Marcellous was recording Vegeta on a camcorder.

"Hey, this is me, Vegeta." said Vegeta to the camera. "And welcome to College Antics Episode 3. My friends and I will now put a prank into action. As you know, my friend Marcellous is our dedicated cameraman."

"Hey, look at me! I'm the guy who shot Cloverfield!" said Marcellous, waving the camera about wildly.

"...And additional commentary by Goku."

"I like Peanuts!" said Goku as Marcellous pointed the camcorder at him.

"Now watch this..."said Vegeta as he walked over to Raditz. Goku put some whipped cream on Raditz hand, which was dangling over the couch.

"Some of you may thing this is old...but get a load of this." said Marcellous. "Vegeta, you know what to do."

Then Vegeta used a feather and tickled Raditz crotch. In a typical reflex, Raditz tried to scratch himself,spreading whipped cream over his privates.

"I told you it was new, didn't I?" said Vegeta. Then Goku put a cherry on top of the whipped cream. "Saiyan Crotch Sundae, anyone?" he laughed.

"And this has been College Antics Episode 3. Come back next week, when we put a condom on a pregnancy test! This is Vegeta, and we'll see you guys next time."

"This is going straight to YouTube." said Marcellous, turning off the camcorder.

"Hey guys-" said Bulma as she walked in. "...What happened to Raditz?"

"Nothing..." Said Goku.

"Yeah, he just creamed his pants, that's all."

"Yeah, Trunks hasn't come back yet...I think he's been beat...or possibly dead." said Bulma.

"Meh, not my problem..." said Vegeta, turning on the TV.

"...I'll give you a 2 second flash."

"LET'S GO!! COME ON YOU ASSHOLES WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?? THAT POOR SOUL NEEDS OUR HELP!!" shouted Vegeta as he ran out of the door.

"That man never ceases to amaze me." said Marcellous as he started flipping the channel.

_**2 hours later...**_

Vegeta walked out of the ER, and plopped himself down on the couch.

"...Did she flash you?" asked Goku.

Marcellous nearly threw up at the thought of Vegeta being flashed by a woman old enough to be his mother.

"It was 2 seconds of heaven..." droned Vegeta, showing a look of pure mellowness. "They were just two, perfectly spherical...creamy..."

Then Marcellous ran to the trash can and proceeded to give back his lunch.

Then Trunks walked in, bandages adorned his lower stomach.

"...What happened to you?" asked Goku.

Then Trunks unwrapped the bandages. "This happened."

Then Goku and Vegeta started fighting over who was going to puke in the trash can first, but they both did at the same time.

"Hmm...that must have been a real hard blunt impact to burn the skin off and rupture you're liver like that." deduced Marcellous.

"H-how did you..."

"I'm studying to be a doctor, I know shit." said Marcellous.

"He..he beat me...so easily..."

"Well, we'll have to train you...THE SAIYAN WAY." said Raditz.

"What's tha-ACK!!"

"SUCK IT UP, YOU PANSY!" shouted Vegeta as he punched Trunks in the lower stomach.

_**3 weeks and more Saiyan training later...**_

"Ok, I think I'm almost ready to try and fight again..." said Trunks, "And I'm pretty sick of all this training."

"Oh, you just don't wanna go though the Nut-Buster 3000." said Marcellous.

"...What that?"

"We kick you in the nuts 3000 times each."

"Guys, I got another signal on the android." said Bulma as she walked in.

"You sure you're ready for this, Trunks?" asked Goku.

"I'll do my best."

Then the guys left and went outside.

_**15 minutes later...**_

The guys were still flying...until Goku spotted something. "Hey guys, I think it's an-" then Goku got uppercutted by 69.

"Hmph...so, back for another beating?" asked 69 as he turned to Trunks.

"I won't go down as easily as I did last time..."

"Then how about we do this with no interruptions?" said 69 as he extended his hand toward Goku, and fired off a net with lead tips, sending Goku toward the ground. Then he did the same thing to Vegeta, Raditz and Marcellous when they tried to help Goku.

"If It's one-on-one you want, THEN IT'S ONE-ON-ONE YOU'LL GET!!" shouted Trunks as he rushed 69.

"Hmph...You haven't changed a bit..." scoffed 69 as he dodged all of Trunks' attacks. "This time, I'll kill you nice and easy..." then he backed up for an attack, but Trunks kneed him before he could fire it.

"...Hurts, doesn't it?" asked Trunks. Then he started landing attacks on 69.

"_Damn, these attacks actually hurt..." _thought 69 as Trunks's attacks rained down on him.

"That's it Trunks! Kick his shiny, metallic ass!" shouted Raditz.

Then 69 managed to kick Trunks away. "You won't survive this one..." said 69 as he activated something on a arm panel he had. Then machine guns came out of his shoulders.

"...Oh crap."

"DANCE MONKEY! DAAAAAANCE!!" shouted 69 as he started firing bullets out of the machine gun like crazy. Trunks dodged most of them easily, but then they started surrounding him.

"GAME OVER!" shouted 69 as one of the bullets exploded, which cause a chain reaction, ending in a huge explosion.

"He's dead, who wants cookies?" asked Vegeta.

When the smoke cleared, Trunks was still standing, but barely.

"Trunks, you have to finish with the new move." said Raditz.

"New move?" asked 69.

"Made after our Saiyan motto..."said Trunks.

"If it doesn't die...**KILL IT WITH FIRE!!**" shouted the 4 on the ground.

Then Trunks kicked 69 into the air. Soon after, he started charging up concentrated ki in his hands. He put them together and pointed them at 69, and a huge beam shot into the air.

"Damn you...THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!!" shouted 69 as he was engulfed by the blast.

As the smoke cleared he was gone.

12:15 PM – Capsule Corp.

The Guys were in the living room again, watching TV.

"Any news on the latest battle?" asked Karen as she walked in.

"Oh Karen," said Trunks as he walked up to her, "I didn't want it to happen so soon, but I'm not gonna run away or get mad, I'm gonna be a good father to our baby." said Trunks as he hugged her.

"...What are you talking about? We're not having a baby, I had my period yesterday."

"...VEGETA DROPPED THE BOMB!" shouted Goku as he ran out.

"MARCELLOUS RIGGED THE PREGNANCY TEST!!" shouted Vegeta as he ran after Goku.

"RADITZ PROPSED THE IDEA!!" shouted Marcellous as he ran after the 2.

"Uhhhh...PANCAKES!!" shouted Raditz as he ran into the kitchen.

"Soo...I got kicked in the nuts a lot during my training..." said Trunks, "...Wanna help me see if they still work?"

"Oh, you tease!" said Karen as she pulled Trunks into her bedroom.


	24. Ultimate Battle: Quickest Battle Ever

1:00 PM - Capsule Corp

The 4 guys were hanging out, drinking a few beers, and occasionally throwing a punch or two.

"Hey...how much...do you bet I-I can...uhhh..what's the word I'm looking for...drink!" said Vegeta, obviously drunk off his ass.

"Uhhhh...proletarianization...E EQUALS MC TO THE SECOND POWER!!" shouted Marcellous, as he started sniffing Raditz's hair. "Oh Raditz...you're hair...it's so...soft..."

Then an android landed in the front yard.

"Heeeeeeyyyy...It's da pizza dude!" shouted Raditz as they all walked outside, drunkly and recklessly.

"I am here to kill you." said the android.

"...Where's the anchovies?" asked Goku.

"...Wha?"

"ANCHOVIES, MOTHERFUCKER! DO YOU SPEAK IT?!" shouted Goku as he splashed the android with his beer. Then the android started fizzing and steaming.

"COOR'S LIGHT!! MY ONE WEAKNESS!!" shouted the android as he blew up.

"Guys! I found a new android...Oh.." said Bulma as she walked out. "...Do you realize what this means!?"

"...Diet rickshaw meat in an espresso blender?" asked Raditz.

"No, you just defeated all of the androids, you can fight the big boss now!"

"Ya know, I wonder what the other guys are doing back at the college..." said Marcellous.

2:15 PM – Hirokiwa College

Spencer was finally ready with his trap, meant to get back a Broly for setting him up on a blind date with a gay guy.

"Man...this is gonna be AWESOME." said Spencer as he hid behind a bush, just as Broly walked out.

"Hey, free beer!" said the stupid git as he picked up a potential explosive. As soon as he cracked it open, the whole thing exploded in his face. Due to the alcohol content, he stumbled back,into a ridiculously large spring, and that catapulted him into a vat of soda. Because he fell in which such blunt force, it tipped over a vial full of Mentos, which caused some severe chemical imbalances and caused Broly to shoot upwards in a soda volcano. But that wasn't enough for Spencer, oh no. As soon as Broly came back down, he hit the ground with such blunt force that it ruptured a nearby mine, completely and totally putting the supposed Legendary Super Saiyan into a vegetative state.

"Like I said, don't mess with me." Said Spencer as he nonchalantly walked by Broly, not giving a shit.

Meanwhile, the girls; Clare, Rae, Radiza, ChiChi and Bulma, were sitting in science class, with Professor Bardock. Professor Bardock, who had no fucking clue they were behind him, was just continuing his work.

"...Umm, Professor Bardock?" asked Clare.

"Huh..Oh hey! Don't sneak up on me like that." said Bardock.

"Have you seen the guys lately?" asked Radiza.

"That depends, which guys?"

"Dorm 666...and Trunks." said Rae.

"Well, I don't know..."

"...How did you get that scar on you're cheek?" asked Bulma.

"...You don't want to know, it's embarrassing." said Bardock, touching his scar.

"Tell us!" said ChiChi.

"Fine...take a seat." said Bardock, as he grabbed a seat on his own desk. "I was at my wife's house.."

_Flashback_

_7:00 PM – 1972_

_A teenage Bardock and Fasha were at Fasha's house, apparently getting ready for a date._

"_So Fasha, I hear you- Oh look, a cat!" said Bardock, showcasing an apparent short attention span._

"_I wouldn't try to pick him up..." Bardock, not hearing his future wife's warning, decided to pick up the cat anyway._

"_Who's a good boy?" asked Bardock._

_Then the cat started clawing the **fuck **out of Bardock's face._

"_...We just got him neutered..."_

_End Flashback_

"...And I've hated cats ever since..." said Bardock, again touching his scar.

"...Is that it?" asked Clare, trying her damnedest to hold back a laugh.

"...Well, there was that time me and Vegeta's dad were accidentally sent to Vietnam..."

_Flashback_

_3:00 PM – April 30__th__ , 1975_

_A young adult Bardock and King Vegeta were inside the American Base, during the Vietnam War._

"_Ok Bardock, we were accidentally sent here in place of two dead guys...How do we get out?" asked King Vegeta, who's beard was just beginning to develop._

"_Ok...asking won't work..we could get injured...and go home with Purple Hearts!" said Bardock. "Pull out you're gun." "...Ok, now shoot me in the foot." said Bardock as him and King Vegeta pulled out their guns._

"_What? Shoot yourself in the foot!" said King Vegeta._

"_No no, they can tell by the angle. Ok, we both shoot each other. Ready...NOW!"_

_Then they both fired._

"_...I think you missed me..."_

"_AH! PUS-SPEWING,BLOOD-GUTTING HELL!!" shouted King Vegeta as he started hopping on his left foot, blood spewing from his right._

"_Gee, that looks pretty painful..."_

"_Of course it painful, there's a bullet in my foot! Now let me try again." said King Vegeta as he readied his gun._

"_No! No way!" shouted Bardock as he started running around, King Vegeta limping on his tail, firing bullets the whole way._

"_Ow! Ow! You got me!" shouted Bardock as he knelt down and started faking a bullet wound._

"_Let me see it."_

"_No, I don't want to gross you out. Ahhh, we are in so much pain right now!" King Vegeta saw right through the bullshit, and shot Bardock in his other leg._

"_AHHH!! That was real!"_

_A few minutes later, King Vegeta and Bardock limped up to their commanding officer._

"_Uhhh, Hi. See, we're injured, soooo...can we get our medals and go home now?" asked Bardock._

"_Sorry guys, we take what we can get. You are here, until the job is done."_

"_Hey guys! WE WON THE WAR! NUCLEAR WARFARE IS AWESOME!! WE CAN GO HOME!!" shouted another commanding officer._

_Then King Vegeta and Bardock had a huge sweatdrop._

_End Flashback_

"Well, it seems you had a lot of wacky adventures..." said Rae.

"I guess we can do nothing but wonder where those boys are..."


	25. Ultimate Battle: The End Game

12:25 AM – Capsule Corp.

The guys were coming out of the gravity chamber, finally done with their training.

"Damn, I really think we're pushing ourselves on this one." said Raditz, getting some water.

"Nonsense. If we stop training now, we're doomed to die fighting that android." said Vegeta, sitting down and taking a beer out of the fridge.

"He's got a point, Raditz. He have to work as hard as we can, to win this fight with the least amount of injuries possible." agreed Marcellous, taking off his shirt.

"...I'm gonna go get something to eat." said Goku as he walked into the kitchen. "You guys want anything?"

" I'll have the last of the nachos." said Trunks, as the nachos flew out of the kitchen and into his hands. "Before I start, anyone want some?"

...Silence.

"Ok then." Then Trunks sat down and was about to put the first nacho in his mouth. But oh no, Marcellous had his Saiyan eye on him the whole time. The _second _that one nacho was a crumb away from being even a nanometer close to Trunks' lips, was a second no one would ever forget.

"AAAAAAAHHHHH!!" shouted Marcellous as he viciously pounced on Trunks, knocking the nachos right out of his hand. While Marcellous was busy strangling the oh-so ever-loving _hell _out of Trunks, Raditz walked right up to the nachos and picked them up. Vegeta saw this, and started punching Raditz in the gut, desperately trying to get him to drop the nachos. Goku then rushed in, and head-butted Raditz, causing him to drop the nachos. Everyone saw this, and a huge fist-fight ensued. This included Trunks getting slammed into a bookshelf, Goku getting kicked in the nuts, Raditz having a beer bottle cracked on his head, Vegeta swallowing a dust bunny, and Marcellous having his head slammed into a TV. When all the commotion was over, the guys stopped, to see their prize snatched away by Bulma.

"What has gotten in to you all?" asked Bulma.

"NACHOS!!"

Then Bulma threw the nachos in the trash. "Those expired a week ago. Now go to bed."

"Or else what?" threatened Vegeta.

"You wanna know what? Come see me in my room!" shouted Bulma, as she angrily stormed away.

"Hmph, being sent places to be punished...it's high school all over again!" said Vegeta as he followed.

2: 15 AM – Guys' Room

Goku and Raditz were asleep, Trunks spent the night in Karen's room (gee, I wonder why...), and Marcellous was using the computer.

"...Hey...Vegeta still hasn't come back yet..." said Marcellous. "I might as well see why." said Marcellous as he left. A few minutes later, he was at Bulma's bedroom door. Then he turned the knob and opened the door.

"**OH MY GOD!!"**

"What, What is it?" asked Raditz as he ran in, hearing Marcellous' scream. Marcellous was frozen in shock, looking at Bulma's bed.

Vegeta was in it.

The were both naked.

"...That is wrong on so many levels." said Raditz.

"Damn it, I've only been here for 5 WEEKS, and I've walked in on people having sex 2 TIMES!!" shouted Marcellous.

"Hey...is this a pajama party?" asked Goku, running in. "Oh, scooch over!"

Then Raditz held him back.

4:15 AM - Capsule Corp.

The guys were getting ready to fight the last android, and were just saying their final goodbyes.

"Remember, If I don't make it back...you know where my emergency porn is." said Vegeta to Bulma.

Then the other guys flew off.

"Damn them." said Vegeta, as he too, took off.

Later, the guys were just flying through the sky, when Raditz found something. "Hey guys, I found his base!"

The volcano nearby was marked with a giant neon sign that read, "ANROID 100 HIDEOUT HERE"

"Damn, that fucking evil genius." said Marcellous as they landed.

Inside the base, there was a figure sitting at a throne. This figure of pure...evil.

The guys then walked inside.

"Hmm...I see you've made it past the others..." said the android.

"Android 100...we're here to defeat you, and restore this dimension to working order." said Goku.

"...I'd like to see you try." said 100 as he spun his chair around.

"...No way." said Raditz.

This android was not just an android, but a Majin, with cybernetic parts.

"...Who are you?!" asked Trunks.

"The only survivor in a line of machine mutants." said 100. "We were a mighty line, but we were wiped out by you bastards, in this dimension."

"The last of you're line, eh?" asked Vegeta.

"Well that line..." said Marcellous, becoming a Super Saiyan. "...Ends today."

Then the rest of them turned into Super Saiyans.

"Hmph, I haven't seen that form in a long time..." said 100. "Not since you died..."

Then Goku rushed 100. 100 just swatted Goku away like a fly, then Vegeta rushed, and he managed to get a few hits in, but they had no effect, because 100 gut-punched him. Raditz attempted a flying kick, but 100 caught his leg and threw him away. Trunks tried to charge up a blast, but 100, thanks to his Majin parts, extended his arm and started choking Trunks. Marcellous was able to rush 100 while he was busy with Trunks, and then punched 100 into a nearby wall.

"...I'm disappointed...You guys are miserable...Your other selves would have actually managed to bring me pain right now..."

Then Goku rushed him, but 100 used his Majin arm and caught him.

"Oh, you sly bastard! You caught me monologuing! I have to commend you on that." praised 100.

100 wasn't looking, so Marcellous was able to nail him with a Kamehameha. When the smoke cleared, 100 had a huge hole in his stomach.

"...Ouch." said 100 unconvincingly as he regenerated the damage. "...Now it's my turn." he said as he charged a Kamehameha with one hand and aimed it up at the ceiling.

"...Dude, you have bad eyesight." said Trunks, right before a chandelier came crashing down on him.

"...Vegeta.." said Goku. "..Remember that technique we learned a few years back?"

"...What?" asked Vegeta, as Goku then whispered in his ear. "...Oh. You mean _that_." "Marcellous, Raditz! Stall for us."

"Got it!" shouted Raditz as him and Marcellous rushed 100.

"Think fast!" shouted Raditz as he kicked 100 into the air. Then Marcellous started punching him over and over again. "You've caused too much trouble!" he shouted as he slammed 100 back to the ground with closed fists. As soon as he came down. Raditz kicked him in the face. "It's time we teach you a lesson!" then Raditz and Marcellous started playing a game of Tennis with 100, using iron bars as paddles. After a while, they both shoved the pipes right through 100.

Then 100 got up. "...It's time I put you in place." said 100 as the iron bars started absorbing into him, and becoming a part of his body. Hell, he even grew a nose. "Now..." he said as he charged up a blast, but was knocked away by and even bigger blast.

"...Woah." said Trunks, still under the chandelier.

Where Goku and Vegeta once stood...there was a new figure. An amalgamation of both forces.

"..Who..who are you?" asked 100.

"I am the instrument of your defeat...Gogeta." said the new figure.

"No matter-GAH!" moaned 100 as Gogeta suddenly dissipated from his previous point and kneed 100 in the back. Then Gogeta started punching and kicking 100, landing combo after combo. After a while, 100 was clearly showing signs of damage. "Your nose it bleeding." said Gogeta as he kicked him away. "...Maybe you were better off before, when you didn't _have_ a nose." Then Gogeta fired a Big Bang Kamehameha at him. When the smoke cleared, 100 was almost dead.

"Let's finish this..." whispered Gogeta, "I can't let him go on."

"I must hand it to you...Gogeta." said 100. "But let me ask you..."

"How much time do you have left in that form?"

Then Gogeta's eyes widened. "Damn you..." mumbled Gogeta as he rushed 100. He kicked him in the neck a few times, before finally setting him down. Then Gogeta gathered a small, starry sphere in his hand. "You won't survive this..." he said as he threw it. But 100 dodged it.

"Damn..."

"Goodbye Gogeta, it was a fun battle." said 100.

Then Gogeta transformed back into Goku and Vegeta. 100 seized the chance and started choking Goku and Vegeta, and then blasted them away.

Marcellous and Raditz tried to attack 100, but he extended his mechanical arm into a machine gun, and started firing at them. They managed to dodge them, but the bullets turned into flash bombs. As Marcellous and Raditz couldn't see, 100 blasted them away, right into Trunks' chandelier.

"Somebody get this damn chandelier out of here, please?" asked Trunks.

"Oh, sorry about that." said 100 as he lifted the chandelier out of the way, and help the three up. "Yeah, the installation in here is a little faulty."

"Well you know, If you get the drywall replaced, add a little Spackle here and there, redo the electric system, you could have yourself a real good pad here." said Marcellous.

"Oh really? I always though that replacing the floor with finished wood will be a good idea."

"Well yeah, you can do that, but you should add some insulation first." added Raditz.

Then Goku punched 100 in the back of the head.

100 jumped back and started charging a blast. "THIS WILL END IT!"

The 5 guys then got together and charged one, huge, epic blast.

"**OMEGA BLASTER**!!" shouted 100 as he fired off a huge orange blast, roughly 10 times the size of his body.

"**INSERT AWESOME ATTACK NAME HERE**!!" the guys shouted , firing off a red blast, 100 times the size of their bodies combined.

As the two monstrous blasts combined, the whole area began to shake.

"THIS WILL FINISH IT!!" shouted 100 again as he added more power into his blast, doubling it's power.

"**YOU SUCK COCK**!!" shouted the guys, completely covering 100 and his blast.

"DAMN YOU...DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!!" said 100 as he completely dissipated.

3 days later...

They guys were getting ready to go back into the portal, to their own dimension.

"Well, I guess this is it..." said Raditz. "It was fun."

"Thank you all...for allowing me to rest at peace." said Bulma.

Then Raditz went though the portal.

"..I'm telling Bulma you cheated on her!" shouted Goku as he ran though the portal.

"NO I DIDN'T!! I DIDN'T CHEAT ON BULMA BY HAVING SEX WITH BULMA!!" shouted Vegeta as he ran after Goku.

"Karen...do you want to come with us?" asked Trunks.

"Is the sex good?" asked Karen as he pushed Trunks through the portal and went though herself.

"..Thanks for bringing us over Bulma, it really helped us out." said Trunks.

"Wait, Marcellous!" said Bulma. "The you of this time built a time machine, but couldn't complete it before he died...you left the key."

Then Marcellous looked down at his chest. "...Oh, you mean this?" asked Marcellous as he pulled out his sliver cross necklace.

"Yeah!"

Then Marcellous took it off and gave it to Bulma. "...Tell myself I said Hello." said Marcellous as he went though the portal.

1:00 PM – Dorm 666

The guys were all back in their dorms, just like nothing ever happened...but Goku wasn't there.

"There he is!" shouted Goku as he came through the door, with the girls.

"VEGETA!" shouted Bulma as he choked him up against the wall, "HOW DARE YOU CHEAT ON ME WITH ME!!"

"Marcellous!" squealed Rae as he hugged him. "Honey, where were you guys?"

"Rae...It's a long story."


	26. Halloween Special: Undead Utopia

7:00 PM – Vegeta's House

The guys had decided to spend Halloween at Vegeta's house, with his dad on yet another business trip.

"Hey! There's a Sylvester Stallone movie marathon on tonight!" said Goku, flipping pages through the TV Guide.

"Awesome!" shouted Marcellous, "I just love the part in Rambo 3, where he has the final fight with that dude...and he activates one of his grenades..."

"And then he hangs him with his own rope-" continued Raditz, "And as soon as he hits the end of the line.."

"BOOM!!!" shouted Goku. "Hey Vegeta, you got any popcorn in there?" he asked into the kitchen.

"Let's see..." said Vegeta, taking a look into his cupboard, "Uhhh....will tapioca substitute?"

"Dude, you have three Saiyans in your house, and all you have is old people food?" asked Raditz.

"...Yeah."

"Well drive on down to the store and get some!" shouted Marcellous, turning on the TV.

"WHAT GIVES YOU THE AUTHORITY TO COMMANDEER ME IN MY OWN HOUSE?!?!?" shout-asked Vegeta.

"I'm taller than you."

"DAMN IT!" shouted Vegeta as he took his keys from the kitchen counter and went outside.

A few minutes later, Vegeta was in his brand new Lexus, en route to the local Walgreen's.

"What`s love got to do, got to do with it?" sang Vegeta, along with the radio. "Oh hey, I'm here." said Vegeta as he took his keys out of the ignition and walked into the store.

After a while, Vegeta was at the check-out counter, with 7 boxes of popcorn in his cart, and he stepped up to the cashier.....

...the zombie cashier.

"Nice weather today, isn't it?" asked Vegeta, taking out his wallet.

"Braaaaains...." droned the zombie.

"Uhhh..let me get a $2 scratch ticket."

"Braaaains...."

"And here's my total...Keep the change."

"Braaaains...."

"Good day to you, too!" said Vegeta as he got his stuff and was about to walk out. "Wait a minute, what the-"

Then he dodged a shotgun bullet. He turned around to see the zombie, and a few of his friends.

"What the fuck?" asked Vegeta as he ran outside to his car and got in. He tried to back up, but he ran over a zombie, and then another one. He was finally able to get out of the parkway, and drove back so fast he got to 88 MPH and was too fast for the space-time continuum to open in front of him.

7:15 – Vegeta's House

They guys were watching Judge Dredd, with Raditz in the kitchen.

"Man, is it just me, or does Vegeta take a long time to buy popcorn?" asked Marcellous.

"Maybe he's deciding between Movie Theater Butter or Kettle Corn." resolved Goku, "...When was the last time you had popcorn, anyway?"

"Not since I had my braces removed."

"Guys!" shouted Vegeta as he dramatically burst into the room, "Zombies are on the loose!"

"Who wants Alexandertorte?" asked Raditz as he held up a fresh pan of the Latvian dessert, all while sporting a pink apron and oven mitts.

Then the guys looked at him, with an oddly familiar sound of a cricket chirping in the background.

"....This is more masculine than it looks."

Then Zombies started busting through the door.

"QUICK!!!" shouted Vegeta ash he reached into a closet, "DEFEND YOURSELVES!!" then he threw each of them a firearm.

"Are you sure about this?" asked Goku, inspecting his Remington 870.

"Positive." Vegeta reassured, loading his Browning Hi-Power.

"Is violence really necessary?" question Marcellous, barely holding on to his Heckler & Koch HK33.

"Let's blow some shit up!" shouted Raditz as he aimed his M40....then he almost got hit with a chair.

"Hey! Don't fuck with us!" shouted Marcellous as he shook his fist in the air.

"Yeah, we're Rambo!" shouted Goku.

Then the zombies cornered them.

"GO!" shouted Vegeta, "I'LL HOLD THEM OFF!!!" then he started firing his pistol.

The rest were able to get out the house fine, but Vegeta was still inside, while they were in the car.

"Hey guys! We can watch the rest of the marathon from the TV!" said Goku as he pointed to a screen on the roof.

"GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO!!!!" shouted Vegeta as he ran out of the house and slid from the hood of the car into the driver's seat, Dukes Of Hazzard style.

8:25 PM – Road

The guys had barely escaped the zombies, and were just driving on the road to a place of refuge.

"Damn, I'm bored." said Raditz, "This Judge Dredd movie is no good, and It's all we have."

"Let's listen to some tunes." said Marcellous as he looked into the CD player. "....Vegeta?"

"....Yes?"

"....Why is there a Tina Turner CD in here?" asked Marcellous, holding it up.

"Ummm....NOTHING!" shouted Vegeta as he grabbed the disk and threw it out the window.

Then the movie turned into a Breaking News Bulletin.

"This just in, the city of Hirokiwa has been infested with zomb-"

Then Goku turned off the TV screen. "Like it isn't obvious."

"Hey! A hotel!" said Vegeta as he read a nearby road sign.

"Water!" shouted Raditz.

"Food!" shouted Goku.

"Beds!" shouted Vegeta.

"Little mints on our pillows!" shouted Marcellous.

Then everyone looked at him.

"Oh, you know they taste good."

Then Vegeta stopped the car, and everyone got out.

"Damn, this place is infested!" shouted Marcellous as he poked a dead body lying in the street with his gun.

Then a bunch of zombies appeared.

"I'll hack the entrance code, you guys stall them!" shouted Vegeta as he ran over to the hotel door.

"..Wanna see how many zombies we can kill?" asked Goku.

Then Raditz fired his gun. "2."

"5." said Marcellous as he fired a round out of his gun.

"27." said Goku as he took his gun and started hitting zombies with it.

"I'm in!" shouted Vegeta.

Then they all ran in.

"Hello sirs, how may I help you?" asked the man at the front desk.

"TERRORIST!!" shouted Vegeta as he emptied a load into the man's head.

"Dude, what the fuck was that for?" asked Marcellous.

Then Vegeta grabbed a whole bunch of keys off the wall.

"...Oh."

Then they ran over to the elevator. When it opened, it was full of zombies.

"YAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!" shouted Marcellous as he emptied a load into the zombies, blowing them to bits.

"That's enough, trigger happy." said Raditz as he put his hand on Marcellous' shoulder.

Marcellous spun around, with his finger still on the trigger. Raditz then calmly backed away.

"Are you ladies done?" asked Vegeta, holding the elevator open.

Then they all got inside. When they did, Vegeta climbed up to the opening in the top, and shot the rope holding the elevator up, which cut it.

"AHHHHHHH!!!!" they all shouted as they landed to the bottom of the floor.

"Ouch...What the fuck was that for?" asked Raditz.

Then Goku pried open the door, revealing a lounge.

"...This must be a bomb shelter from the 50's!" recognized Marcellous.

"How do you know?" asked Vegeta. Marcellous then pointed to a poster of President Eisenhower, which listed that he was the current president.

"There's enough food to last about 6 months." said Raditz, looking into a cellar.

"TV!!" shouted Goku as he turned it on.

Static.

"DAMN YOU UNDER-DEVELOPED TELEVISION!!" shouted Goku.

Then there was knocking on the opening hatch.

Vegeta opened the hatch, to see his worst nightmare. His brand new Lexus was now a pile of scrap metal in the middle of the street. Then Vegeta clenched his fist and tried to hold back tears.

"Anger me once, shame on you..." he said, "But anger me twice and **GO TO HELL!!!**" he shouted as he took his gun and started firing at an alarming rate. "RADITZ!!! GO GET US A NEW CAR!!"

"Got it!" said Raditz as he flew out of the hatch.

9:25 PM – Bomb Shelter

Vegeta had finally exhausted all his ammo, and was in a fetal position on the floor.

"$12,000 bucks....all....all gone...."

"Man, this is a crappy Halloween." said Marcellous, getting himself a little drink at the bar.

Goku was eating some nachos. "Man, 50 years gone by and this food is STILL good!"

Then there was a honking noise outside.

"That must be the new car!" said Marcellous as he opened the hatch.

There was a black Hummer outside, even with a Rocket Launcher on it and some fuzzy dice.

But it was driven by a zombie.

"You rat bastards, what did you do to my brother?!" demanded Goku.

Then the zombie tossed a sack into the shelter, which Marcellous closed.

"Let me see it." said Vegeta as he peeked inside. ".....Oh my god."

"What is it?" asked Marcellous.

Vegeta then pulled out the contents of the sack.....

...Raditz's severed head.

Then Marcellous threw up.

Then Goku grabbed his gun.

"...You......**BASTARDS**!!!!!!!!!!" he shouted as he blew the hatch right off of the shelter and started plowing through zombies.

Then one Zombie impaled him in the stomach with a harpoon. Goku didn't even flinch, and he kept on plowing through them, but another one stabbed him in the back with a kunai. Goku still didn't care. But then 5 of them ganged up on him and started slashing him up with swords. Goku killed each and everyone of them, but they still came back. Finally, after a long and hard battle, Goku had finally succumbed to his injuries and fell. The zombies saw this a good thing, and started feasting.

"Hey, you bitches!" shouted Marcellous, from the top of the hotel. The zombies were angry they're meal was interrupted, so they swarmed the building. Marcellous then jumped up and started shooting the zombies with...yes, silver bullets.

But it had no effect.

"Damn, this should be working!" said Marcellous, but the zombies had finally formed a bridge and grabbed him.

"....Shit."

Then Marcellous was dragged down into the zombie pile, becoming their next meal. By this time the group of zombies had split in two, with the other half going after Vegeta, who was cornered.

"Shit, I'll never make it!" said Vegeta, shooting at the undead. He was finally out of options, and the zombies swarmed him. But they didn't eat him, oh no.

After a while, Vegeta rose back up from the pile...

...A zombie himself.

7:15 PM – Dorm 666

Vegeta woke up from his bed, startled.

"....It...It was..just..a d-dream...." he panted.

"Done napping, Sleeping Beauty?" asked Marcellous, dressed in a costume like Heath Ledger's Joker.

"Marcellous?" asked Vegeta.

"Why so serious?"

Then Vegeta looked down at himself, dressed in a Freddy Krueger Costume. "Why the..."

"Remember? We have to go to a Halloween Costume Party." said Goku, dressed like an astronaut.

"And you fell asleep while putting on your socks." continued Raditz, dressed like _Thriller_ Michael Jackson.

Then Marcellous and Goku walked out the door.

"I'm not waiting for you." said Raditz as he moonwalked out of the dorm.

"Meh, it beats zombies!" concluded Vegeta as he put on his glove and ran out.

-

**Happy Halloween, Everyone!**


	27. The Dude Cave!

2:30 AM – Dorm 666

The guys were just chilling, you know, like...dudes.

"...I've got an idea." said Goku.

"What" asked Marcellous, doing dishes.

"..What happens if our girlfriends...you know?"

"...Die?" asked Raditz.

"No."

"Get pregnant?"

"No."

"Decide to have an orgy?"

"Oh god no!"

"I think he means...when Aunt Flo comes for her monthly visit." said Vegeta.

"Exactly."

"...And they decide to take the frustration out on us?" wondered Marcellous, rubbing his arm as he remembered Aunt Flo's visit _last_ month.

"...And where do we go when the do that?" said Goku.

"...The hospital?"

"No...THE DUDE CAVE." said Goku, putting down some blueprints.

"...I like that idea." said Vegeta, looking at them.

"Titanium walls, people. TITANIUM WALLS."

"..Is it time for me to poke holes in your plan yet?" asked Raditz.

"...Shoot."

...Where the hell are we gonna build a 27-foot tall, 150-foot wide bunker with a kitchen, shower, game room, gravity room, and wrestling ring, complete with its own lighting, cooling, heating, and electric systems?"

"...The only place girls will never look for guys..." said Marcellous.

... "Under the College football field."

"Where are we gonna find enough people to do that?" asked Vegeta.

...Then they all smiled.

2:45 PM – Headmaster Frieza's office

"You want to do WHAT under the football field?" asked Headmaster Frieza.

"But Headmaster, have you ever seen what a woman can do when the Redcoats are coming?" asked Vegeta.

"...No, not really."

"...I'll bet you." said Raditz.

Then Headmaster Frieza's nonexistent ears perked up. "How much?"

"...We can build the Dude Cave with only 10 Saiyans in 5 days...but you have to make sure no one disturbs the building.

"What if you can't build it?"

Then Raditz gulped. "...I'll streak through the girl's part of campus naked."

"...You got yourself a deal."

3:35 PM – College Football field

Dorm 666, and a few other guys were there, holding various tools among themselves.

"Ok," said Marcellous, there's 10 of us here, and we have 5 days to build the Dude Cave.

Among the group were Spencer,Trunks,Broly, and Turles.

"...Wait, that's only 8. Damn."

"Don't you mean 9?" asked Professor Bardock, standing behind Raditz.

"Dad? What are you doing here?" asked Goku.

"I had a week off, figured I'd help you guys out."

"So where's the last one?" asked Vegeta. "...Oh god."

"Hey big bro!" shouted Table (**A/N**: Table is NOT an OC, he's Veggie's little bro in an upcoming OVA.** UPDATE 6-14-11**: I know, its' Tarble and not Table. But when this chapter was written, we had JUST got news of the OVA and Table was the best translation we had. It was only until after it was released and the English subtitles were added did we know that the "r" was there. So that's why his name is spelled the way it is. ), running onto the field.

"Table, what in God's name are you doing here?" asked Vegeta.

"Dad let me enroll here! I just finished High School, so I guessed this was a pretty good college since you always tell those cool stories during Thanksgiving!"

Then Vegeta buried his face deep inside his hands.

"Well, that makes 10 of us." said Goku.

"So Professor Bardock-"

"Please, just call me Bardock."

"Ok...Bardock." said Marcellous. "Hot damn, that feels good."

"Ok." said Raditz. Pick your partners.

Bardock then put his hand on Raditz's shoulder. "...I'm pretty good with lighting."

Then Vegeta grabbed Goku by his shirt. "You and me are gonna do heating and cooling."

"You wanna blow shit up?" Spencer asked Trunks.

"Oh HELL yeah."

"BROLY GOOD WITH INTERIOR DECORATING" the lunkhead announced as he picked up Turles and put him over his shoulder.

"Dude, No homo."

Then Table looked sad.

"Don't worry, Table." said Marcellous, "You and me are gonna hook up the electric system."

5 days later...

The construction team was all done, and Goku was in front of the barren football field.

"Gentlemen, I present you...**THE DUDE CAVE**." he said as he went under the bleachers and pushed a button. Then all of a sudden, a huge, round building sprang out of the ground, plated with titanium metal.

"The fruits of out labors!" he announced.

"And what's best...there's a secret entrance in each of our dorms!" said Marcellous, "Just lift up the kitchen stove!"

"**GOKUUU!"**shouted ChiChi as she came running out onto the field, with a frying pan in hand.

"...Is that your girlfriend?" asked Bardock.

"Oh shit..." said Raditz. "..It's the queen of PMS."

Then ChiChi slammed the ground with the pan, and caused a huge fissure. "**GOKU!**"

"**TO THE DUDE CAVE!"**


	28. Loss of Virginity Parties?

12:47 PM – Dorm 666

They guys, were all hanging out, Vegeta was trying to pick out what he was going to buy from a catalog.

"Hey guys, do you think Bulma would like this for Christmas?" asked Vegeta as he pointed to something in the book.

Then Marcellous looked up from his PSP. ".....Orgasmic jelly?" he asked as he looked at the catalog.

"Yeah, for those days when I'm not available, and all......"

"Don't overwork yourself, stud muffin." he said as he buried his eyes back into his PSP, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Then Trunks walked in, his face showing complete and authentic melancholy. "Hey guys." He said as he threw himself down on the floor and curled up into a fetal position.

"Dude, what happened?" asked Raditz as he picked up a potted plant from the windowsill.

"...Nothing."

"Dude, something has to be wrong."

".....It's nothing."

"It HAS to be something."

"Nothing!"

"Something!"

"NOTHING!"

"SOMETHING!"

"**NOTHING!"**

"**SOMETHING!"**

"_**NOTHING!"**_

"_**SOMETHING!"**_

"_**POPPY SEEDS!"**_ shouted Goku, completely out of the blue. "....But seriously, something must be wrong."

Trunks sighed. "Ok....the truth is......

.....Me and Karen broke up."

Then Marcellous fell off of his bunk. "WHAT? YOU MEAN I WENT THROUGH THAT MENTAL TORMENT FOR NOTHING??!?!"

"What mental torment?" asked Vegeta.

"BACK WHEN WE WERE IN THAT ALTERNATE UNIVERSE, I WALKED IN ON HIM AND KAREN DOING THE OLD IN-AND-OUT!"

"Ouch, mindfuck." said Raditz.

"....And she decided to drop out of the college."

"_**YOU MEAN I SPENT 15 HOURS HACKING INTO THE COLLEGE DATABASE, REGISTERING KAREN ILLEGALLY, BLEW OFF A DATE,AND FAILED A REPORT, ONLY TO HAVE HER DROP OUT?!?!?"**_ asked, Marcellous, his anger reaching its pinnacle, turning him into a Super Saiyan.

"Ummm....yeah."

Then Marcellous punched Trunks in the nose. Trunks fell back onto the bed, and started clutching his nose.

"Dude, you gave me a nosebleed!"

Marcellous grabbed a bar off the towel rack in the bathroom. **"IF YOU THINK THAT'S BAD, WAIT UNTIL YOU SEE WHAT I'LL DO WITH YOUR NUTS!"**

Then Goku, Raditz, and Vegeta held Marcellous back.

1:10 PM – Dorm 666

Vegeta was still doing his Christmas shopping, Marcellous was sitting in a corner, Goku was doing some random shit only Goku could do, Trunks was rubbing his nose, and Raditz was baking a pie.

"I just realized something." said Goku.

"...What?"

"Trunks and Karen never had their LOV Party!"

"That's true!" said Vegeta.

"...What's a LOV?" asked Trunks.

"Loss of Virginity party." said Marcellous.

".....You guys celebrate that?"

"Loss of virginity is the time in a boy's life when he finally becomes a MAN." said Goku.

"Yeah, and Raditz is gonna be a boy for about another 5 years!" laughed Vegeta.

"I think that your first time is like wine." said Raditz, blushing a little. "The longer you wait for it, the sweeter it tastes."

"I hate sweet stuff." said Vegeta.

"Yeah, and that's why you popped your first cherry as soon as you hit the legal age." said Marcellous.

"Good times......"

_Flashback_

_10:15 PM – early 2004_

_Marcellous,Goku,Raditz,Radiza,Rae,Bulma,and ChiChi were all standing around Vegeta, who had a cake in front of him._

"_So Vegeta, how does it feel to be at the age of consent?" asked Marcellous. "You've wanted this day to come ever since we learned about sex in 5th grade."_

"_....I'm at legal age?" asked Vegeta, "....AWESOME!"_

"_Vegeta..." said Bulma, "I still haven't given you your gift...."_

"_I know where I can find it...." winked Vegeta as he led her over to the bathroom._

_End Flashback_

"...I still haven't forgotten that one..."

Then Goku clutched his pelvis, being reminded of his first time.

_Flashback_

_1:32 PM – Local Park – summer 2005_

_Goku and ChiChi were just sitting on a park bench, in the park....where a park bench would be._

"_So Goku..."_

"_...Yes honey?"_

"_We've known each other since Middle School, and I've been saving a part of myself...just for you..."_

"_..You're shoe collection?"_

_Then ChiChi tackled Goku. "You idiot, TAKE ME NOW!"_

"_B-but we're not married!"_

_Then ChiChi unzipped Goku's pants._

_End Flashback_

"The best part is that we got to party HARDER, because Marcellous lost his virginity the morning after my LOV!"

"It was an accident!" shouted Marcellous as he buried his face deep inside his hands.

_Flashback_

_6:00 AM – Dorm 666 – Fall 2006_

_Marcellous was awoken by the sound of a bird chirping out the window, then he sat up in his bunk and stretched._

"_Man, I think I partied a little too hard last night....." he said as he looked over on the other side of his bed._

"_Wait a second...OH MY GOD."_

_It turned out that Rae was sleeping right next to him._

"_Mmm...what happened?" she slurred as she woke up._

_Marcellous was in a fetal position in the bathtub, and he had the water on._

"_Marcellous...." asked Rae, "Why are you naked?"_

"_L_oo_k at yourself..."_

_Rae looked at the mirror and saw that she too, was naked._

"_Oh my God, what happened?"_

"_We did it, that's what happened!" Marcellous said as he started crying._

_End Flashback_

Marcellous was once again in a fetal position.

"Well, let's start planning!" said Vegeta

11:45 PM – College Frat House

Every single guy in the college was in the fraternity house, drinking like true men.

"Damn, this is awesome!" said Goku as he walked up to Marcellous. "The girls went to a local bar.."

"What could make it better?" asked Marcellous.

Then Bardock walked through the door. "Gentlemen, I have pornography."

Then all the guys cheered like a happy retard at the zoo.

Then Bardock put a VHS tape into the VCR.

Sexy music started playing from the TV.

"Oh, It's a beach house, ya know SOMEONE'S getting' laid!" said Raditz, putting a smile on all the guys' faces.

...Then those smiled died on their backs when the next scene popped up.

"....Oh my God!" said Goku, "They're doing it without the lady!"

"...Maybe they're just warming up....." said Marcellous, even further mental trauma seeping its way into his mind.

Then Bardock picked up another tape and read the label. "....Men in Back...."

Marcellous did the same. "....Three men and a maybe."

Vegeta did the same. ".....Buttman and Throbbin'."

Bardock sighed. "The guy at the store told me these were hetero!" he said. "..I should have walked away when he asked me if I did porn...."

5:30 AM – Local brothel

Trunks woke up, in a dumpster behind a local brothel.

"Huh? What happened?" he asked himself as he looked to the other side of the dumpster.

"....Oh, snap."


	29. Christmas Special: The Great Gift Gaffe

**Grab your popcorn, people. This is pretty long, it took me 13 pages to write. I went all-out with the comedy this time, so expect lulz.**

**LOTS OF LULZ.  
**

* * *

2:15 AM – Christmas Eve; Dorm 666

The Guys were all sleeping.....

....._almost_ all of the guys.

Then Vegeta woke up. "...Oh my god." Then he jumped out of his bed. "GUYS! Get up!" he shouted as he turned the light on.

Silence.

Vegeta then grabbed a radio and turned it on.

A few nanoseconds went by, then Marcellous woke up and shut the radio off.

"Dude, you know I hate country music."

"Yeah, I got a problem! I forgot to get Bulma her Christmas present!"

"Tough shit." said Marcellous as he climbed back into bed.

"You forgot to get Rae a present."

"What the fuck are you waiting for? LET'S GO." said Marcellous, already in the closet.

Then Vegeta got on his computer. "...the nearest place that sells it is 5 cities away.

"Dude, I'm not walking that far."

Vegeta grabbed some keys off the counter. "That's why we're using Raditz's car."

"Using _who's_ car?" asked Raditz, who had just got up.

"Shit, just go get dressed." said Marcellous as he grabbed a beer out of the fridge.

"Dude, beer this early?" asked Raditz.

"You're right." said Marcellous as he switched his beer for a bottle of vodka.

Then Raditz had a facepalm.

2:30 AM – Dorm 666

Raditz was combing his hair,Vegeta was on his cell phone, and Marcellous was writing a note.

"Alright, I just called my brother, and he's agreed to come with us." Vegeta explained as he hung up.

"You called your brother?" asked Raditz. "Wait, let me re-phrase that......you know your brother's cell phone number?"

"....Marcellous, what are you doing?" asked Vegeta as he redirected his attention.

"Writing a note for Goku, telling him to stall for us in case the girls come before we do."

"Good thinking. Now let's get going." said Vegeta as he opened the door, and there stood his younger brother.

"Hey Bro." said Table as he yawned. "Why'd you call me so early?"

"You know my girlfriend, right?"

"....Huh?"

"...You know, the girl I brought with me last Thanksgiving...."

"Oh, you mean the one dad was interrogating?"

"....Yeah, that one, also the one I lost my virginity to."

Then Table gave an overly dramatic and unnecessary gasp. "You weren't married?" he asked. "I'm telling dad!"

"You think he didn't do the same thing?" asked Vegeta, "How do you think you were born?"

"Oh, shit!" said Marcellous as he covered his mouth. "Like father, like son!"

"Can we get going, please?" asked Raditz as he walked down the hall.

2:57 AM – Road

Table was behind the wheel of Raditz's car, since the latter was asleep in the back seat.

Then something growled.

"Did something break?" asked Vegeta as he looked out the window.

"Guess again...." said Marcellous, holding his stomach. "Damn, I'm hungry."

Then Table's stomach growled too. "...I'm stopping at the nearest food place."

Vegeta spotted a sign. "Big Joe's Steakhouse, next 2 miles!"

3:39 - Big Joe's Steakhouse

Marcellous, Raditz, and Vegeta had all finished their meals, each had a stack of 4 or 5 empty plates in front of them.

...Table however, had only one plate in front of him, and he didn't finish the steak in it.

"Come on Table, you have to eat at least one steak." said Raditz.

"I'm full."

"What are you full of?" asked Marcellous, "Estrogen?"

"Marcellous, I said I'm full."

"You wimp." said Vegeta, "You SUCK. I can't believe we came from the same father."

Then Table grabbed a knife and started stabbing the steak. "**WHO'S FULL NOW, HUH?!?!?**" he shouted as he took the steak and threw it against the wall.

"Woah, woah. Calm down." said Marcellous as he slowly eased the knife out of Table's hand. "I'll just put this in your purse next to your tampons!" he laughed.

3:15 AM – Freeway

After being kicked out of the Steakhouse due to Table's outburst, Raditz had taken the wheel of his car.

"It's a damn good thing I brought my PSP with me." said Marcellous as he hopped into the driver's seat and started playing.

"Why did you do that?" asked Raditz, "It's only a 5 hour drive."

"But thanks to you, it just became a 7 hour drive."

"How did you arrive at that?"

"First of all, you're only going 9 miles per hour."

"I'm playing it safe."

"Safe?" asked Vegeta, "Dude, we're on the freeway and people are passing us on _scooters_."

"Do you know how many people die via scooter collision with cars each year?"

Then a police car pulled up behind the car.

"Crap."

A few minutes later, the cop had stepped out of his car, and was walking over to Raditz's car.

"Sir, do you know how fast you were going?" he asked Raditz.

"....9...miles per hour."

"Exactly." he said. "May I please have an explanation?"

"I...I just wanted to play it safe."

"Well, I understand, and I'll let you off the hook this time." the officer said. "But remember, being too slow could be dangerous too, ok?"

"....Ok."

"Oh, hey Vegeta." said the officer.

"Hey Robert." Vegeta replied. "How's the wife?"

"Oh, she gave birth 3 days ago."

"Congrats."

"Thanks." The officer said as he walked away.

5:15 AM – Dorm 666

Goku had just woken up. "Man, that was a good sleep." Then he looked around. "Oh god! My friends deserted me!" he cried.

Then he saw a note on the table.

"Oh." he said as he walked over to it and started reading it.

_**Dear Goku,**_

_**Raditz,Vegeta, and myself have gone out to assist Vegeta in purchasing a gift for his mate, Bulma. I'm asking you to stall in the event that any of out girlfriends come over before we get back. Do anything you can to stall them.**_

_**Layman's terms: Barricade the door.**_

_**Sincerely,**_

_**Marcellous**_

_**P.S: There's clean underwear in the bathroom.**_

Then Goku paused for a moment.

"...Awesome! There's clean underwear in the bathroom!"

6:20 AM – Road

Raditz was driving faster this time,he was going at 35 MPH.

Then they passed a jewelry store.

"Back up." said Marcellous.

"....Why?" asked Raditz.

"I need to buy Rae a gift at that jewelry store."

"That's not my problem."

Then Marcellous took the fuzzy dice from around the rear view mirror.

"What are you doing?"

Then Marcellous held the fuzzy dice out the window.

"You wouldn't."

Then Marcellous let go of the dice.

Raditz immediately made a U-turn and went back for the fuzzy dice. Marcellous then took the keys out of the ignition, making the car come to gentle stop in front of the store.

"I hate you."

"Love you too, honey." said Marcellous as he got out of the car.

6:45 AM – Benton Jewelers

Marcellous had picked out a necklace, and had gone to the clerk to but it.

"Hello, how may I help you today?" she asked.

"I'd like to buy this necklace."

"a 15k diamond necklace, huh?" she observed. "It must be for someone special!"

"Yeah, it's for my girlfriend...." blushed Marcellous.

"That'll be $1,700 dollars."

"Huh?"

"$1,700 big ones."

"Excuse me one minute..." said Marcellous as he called for a group huddle.

"I got 700 bucks, can anyone cough up 1k?" he asked.

Then Table opened his wallet. "I have $1,000."

"Dude, you're a lifesaver."

"But, what do I get?" he asked.

Marcellous sighed. "When we get back I'll tell everyone you ate twice as much steaks as me."

"....And?"

"........You can have....my T206 Honus Wagner..." whispered Marcellous. (A/N: For those who don't know, that's the rarest baseball card in the world.)

Then Table jumped up in joy.

".....The 1k, please."

Then Table handed him the money.

Marcellous walked up to the clerk. "Here's the rest of the money."

"Thank you..." she said as she put the money in the register. "We also have a gift wrapping option."

"Ok, I'll go with that."

7:15 AM – Dorm 666

Goku was eating breakfast....alone....watching porno-um....The News.

Then there was a knock on the door.

Goku got up and answered it.

It was Bulma.

"Umm....Hey Bulma!" said Goku.

"Goku, is Vegeta here?"

"Uhhh....He had a hangover last night, he still trying to sleep it off." nervously laughed Goku.

"Well, I just wanted to drop of his gift and hide it from him...."

"Yahtzee!" shouted Goku as he grabbed the gift and slammed the door shut.

"This must be ring...." said Goku as he looked at the small square gift. Then he ran into the bathroom. "Where's one place Vegeta would never look?" he asked himself. Then he opened the medicine cabinet. "Bingo!" he shouted as he put the ring in a box of condoms.

7:15 AM – Highway

Marcellous had taken over driving, since Raditz was in the back seat crying about his fuzzy dice.

"Why? They were shot down in the fuzzy prime of YOUTH!" shouted Raditz.

"Man, I'd kill for a beer right about now." said Vegeta.

"Well, wait, then."

"But we just ran out back here."

"You'll drink yourself a nice beer belly when I stop at the next bar."

"The next bar is a good 5 miles from here...."

"Wait."

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"YO MAMA."

"Ha!" shouted Vegeta. "That won't work!"

"Why not?" asked Marcellous.

"I don't even know who my mom is!" he announced, "She left when I was 2 months old!"

"Damn, you have one hell of a dysfunctional family."

"Hey! The next bar!" said Table as he pointed out a sign.

9:53 AM – Smokey Pete's Bar

Marcellous was watching football on the TV, Vegeta was drunk off his ass, and Table was eating some fries.

"Hey, did anyone see Raditz come in with us?" asked Table.

"I think he went to the store across the street to find some new fuzzy dice." said Marcellous.

"Hey....L-lets play a game...." stammered Vegeta. "It's called 'I Never'".

"How do you play?"

"The person says something they never did, if you ever did it, you gotta drink."

"I'll start." said Table. "....I never got drunk and smashed a brick with my head."

Then Marcellous drank.

"I never had sex with the lights on." said Marcellous.

Vegeta drank.

"I never had a threesome with another girl."

Then Vegeta drank.

"I never gave my partner anal."

Vegeta drank again.

"I never wanted my first time to happen while I wasn't married."

Vegeta drank once more.

".....I fucked my girlfriend in public and asked someone if they wanted to join."

Vegeta drank a fourth time.

10:30 AM – Smokey Pete's Bar

Vegeta had about 27 empty beer bottles around him, and everyone in the bar was completely shocked.

".....I never gave a reach-around to a spider-monkey while reciting the Pledge of Allegiance." said Marcellous.

"Oh, you guys are doing this on purpose...." said Vegeta as he took another shot and then passed out.

Table poked his bother to see his he was still alive, but his elbow knocked over the salt shaker.

"Dude, you spilled the salt." said Marcellous.

"....Yeah?"

"Throw some salt over your shoulder before you get bad luck!" he said.

Tale picked up the whole shaker and threw it over his shoulder.

"Ouch!"

Then a trucker stood up and looked around.

"Who's the dead man who hit me with the salt shaker?!"

Marcellous pointed at Table.

The trucker walked up to Table and looked at his fries.

"...You gonna eat those?"

Table gulped. "Umm...Y-you can have them i-if you w-want them......"

Then the trucker pulled back, and spit on Table fries.

"Eeeeewww....." said Marcellous as he pulled back.

10:55 AM – Smokey Pete's Bar

Table was sitting down in place, Marcellous was trying to get Vegeta to wake up.

"He...he just hawked on my fries,man." said Table.

"Table, pick up your brother." said Marcellous.

"Why?"

"We're gonna get back at him, but as soon as we do, we need to get the hell out of here." he said as he walked up to a cashier.

"Umm, that trucker over there said he would pay for our tab."

"Sea Bass is gonna pay for you?" he asked.

"...Yeah."

"...Alright." the cashier said. "So he's paying $350 worth of beer."

Then Marcellous signaled Table to get the hell out.

Raditz was in his car, meanwhile.

"Finally, new dice!" he said as he hung new fuzzy dice from his rear view mirror.

"STEP ON THE GAS!" shouted Marcellous as he hopped into the back seat.

"But-"

"DO IT!"

Then the car sped off onto the country road.

Just then, Sea Bass busted out of the bar.

"**I'M GONNA GET THOSE SONS OF BITCHES!!!**"

12:50 PM – Country road

Raditz was still speeding.

"I think you can slow down now." said Vegeta, who had finally woken up. "Damn, I need to pee."

"Uhhh...whiz in one of the empty beer bottles."

Then Vegeta picked up said bottle and unzipped his pants. "Ahhh...." sighed Vegeta relieved.

That smiled then died. "Uh-oh, it's filling up!"

"So piss in another one!" said Table.

"Pass me another one, then!"

Table did so.

A few minutes went by, and the process repeated itself.

Then a police car drove beside Raditz.

The policeman walked up....

...It was Robert.

"Damnit."

"...Didn't I already stop this car for going too slow?

"Uhhhh, yeah."

Then Robert saw the bottles. "So, I see you guys have been slickin' back on Grampa's Old Cough Medicine, huh?"

"Well, it's not beer, per se..." explained Marcellous.

"Just give me the beer, you pumpkin-pie-haircutted freak!"

"_He did NOT just insult my hair." _thought Marcellous. "Here, have a drink...." he said, handing the officer a beer with a smile on his face.

Robert downed the whole thing.

"......Get the hell out of here."

"But-"

"LEAVE!" he shouted as he threw up.

Then Raditz drove off.

4:45 PM – Crystal's Adult Shop

The Guys had finally made it to their destination, and they got out of the car.

"Vegeta, you said you were getting Bulma a pearl necklace." said Marcellous as he read the sign.

Vegeta gave a convincing look.

Marcellous then realized Vegeta meant the _other_ pearl necklace.

The Guys then walked in.

"Hey there..." said the woman behind the checkout counter.

"Yeah, I placed an order for the orgasmic jelly..." said Vegeta.

"Well, there's only one tube left..." she said, licking her lips. "You have to survive Helga, though.."

Then a big, muscle-bound, Recoome doppelganger came out from behind a door.

"Helga, take which one you want..."

Then Helga pointed directly at Table, who gulped.

"It was nice knowing you, man." said Raditz as Helga dragged Table into a room, where the only thing visible was a heart-shaped bed.

"STOP! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO MEEEEEE!!!!!!" shouted Table as he was dragged into the room for "Happy Hour".

8:57 PM – Crystal's Adult Shop

Table had finally come out of the "Happy Hour" room, holding a tube of orgasmic jelly.

"Y-you owe me for this....." said Table as he collapsed.

Then Vegeta brought up the jelly to the counter.

"That'll be $29.95-"

"They don't need to pay." said Helga, winking at Table.

Table groaned.

11:55 PM – Hirokiwa College Fraternity House

Goku, and all the other college members were in the frat house, with a Christmas Tree in the corner.

"Goku!" exclaimed Radiza as she walked through the crowd to him. "Have you seen Raditz lately?"

"U-umm...." stammered Goku, "He went with Marcellous and Vegeta to get....umm....Eggnog! Yeah......"

"Ok...."

Then Raditz and the gang came into the frat house. "Sorry we're late, Table had to go to the hospital." he said.

Then Table walked in, his pelvis in a cast.

"Oh my god, what happened?" asked Rae, who came when she saw Table's cast.

"Uh...A brick wall fell on me..." lied Table. "...Over and over again."

"Oh, you poor thing!" Rae said as she hugged him.

Then Table smiled.

"Hey, back it up!" said Marcellous as he defensively got in front of his girlfriend.

Then the clock stroked 12:00 AM.

Rae led Marcellous outside.

"Merry Christmas, honey." she said as she pulled out a gift.

"Don't think I've forgotten about you.." said Marcellous as he pulled his gift out of his pocket.

Rae opened her gift. "You got me a 15k necklace?!" she squealed.

"It's the least I can do..." said Marcellous as he opened his gift. "You got me a gold watch?!" he exclaimed.

"What, you thought you were the only one with money?"

Then they kissed. It would have gone on longer, but Marcellous' phone rang.

"...Hello?"

"Dude!" Vegeta's voice came on the other end. "Bulma got me a cock ring! WITH A DIAMOND!"

Then Marcellous and Rae started laughing.

* * *

**Merry Christmas, everyone! This will probably be my last update for '08, so Happy New Year, too.**


	30. AN: Old Chapter Renovations

**Author's Note: Old Chapter Renovations**

Hey guys, The Ultimate Saiyan Here.

I decided I would re-write old chapters of DBZ college.

**I HAVE FINSIHED RE-WRITING.**

The new versions of the chapters are posted up now.

**EVERY CHAPTER UP UNTIL THE ULTIMATE BATTLE SAGA HAS BEEN RE-WRITTEN.**

Also, I deleted 3 chapters I found to be a nuisance, so don't be surprised If you can't review on the next few chapters. I don't know if I can do something to fill up the space of the remaining 2 chapters so you guys can review, but I'll try.

Here's a little taste of what to expect in the first few chapters...

Description on Marcellous

Description of Rae

Description of Radiza

In-depth Detail

Better Grammar

So, expect better writing from me from now on.

**Happy Holidays, everyone.**


	31. The Baby Dilemma Part 1

**Hey guys. I'm sorry I was unable to update for so long. The reason for that is because my computer had a problem (the monitor would go on and off at random times), so I had to take it to get fixed. I found an old Windows 98 in my attic, and I am truly surprised that it was able to download . So I decided that I would make a 2-part sub-saga for DBZ College. I might be a little rusty since I haven't written in about a month, but I'll do my best to maintain my status as the Top Gun in the DBZ humor business.**

**

* * *

  
**

1:15 PM – Dorm 333

The girls were just doing....some girl stuff.

"Who wants lunch?" asked ChiChi, cooking lunch over the stove.

"...What is it?" asked Radiza, combing her hair.

"The same thing it always is...."

"That unidentifiable substance that always ends up at the bottom of the trash can?"

"No..." scoffed ChiChi, "my special family recipe."

"Like I said, unidentifiable substance."

Then Rae, who had just got out of the bathroom, looked over at Bulma.

"Bulma...what are you eating?"

"Ice cream." Bulma replied, as she took a scoop of ice cream....

...straight out of the bucket.

"Can I have some?"

"Sure, just grab a spoon."

Rae got a spoon and took a little of the iced creme.

"Ewwww....this tastes like week-old fish!"

"I know!" replied Bulma, "I've just been having these weird cravings lately......"

Rae looked at the tub of ice cream. "......Cod intestine flavored."

"Did you smell that?"

"Bulma?" asked Radiza, "Did you ever think that these weird cravings and heightened smell could be a result of pregnancy?"

"_**HOW COULD YOU EVEN SAY THAT?!?!?!!?"**_ shouted Bulma, **_"VEGETA ALWAYS PULLS OUT!!!!!!"_**

Radiza was now cuddled in a corner.

"Oh my goodness!" said Bulma, "Are you alright, did I hurt you?"

Then ChiChi looked at Bulma.

"Oh my God....I AM pregnant!"

2:25 PM – Dorm 666

The Dorm 666 gang and Spencer were just chilling out, with Trunks nowhere to be seen.

"Hey..." started Spencer, "Has anyone seen Trunks lately?"

"Not since we had his LOV party." replied Goku.

Then a phone started ringing.

"I got it." said Spencer as he took out his phone.

"_Spencer?"_

"Trunks?"

"_Yeah. Listen, meet me in the school store right now."_

"But-"

"_It's important."_

Then Trunks hang up.

"Well, I'll be right back."

2:30 PM – School Store

Spencer was just casually browsing about, looking for that dude with purple hair that looked like a mop head.

"...Can I help you?" asked Turles, apparently the cashier.

"Kinda. I'm looking for-"

"Gel pens?"

"No."

"T-shirts?"

"No."

"Mascot costumes?"

"No."

"Light-up sex toys?"

"Turles,are you high?"

".....Maybe." the Kakarot lookalike replied, hiding a bong behind him.

"Trunks, there you are!"

"Hey."

"Where were you?"

"Remember my LOV party?"

"Yeah...."

"I...I...I slept with my mom."

"What? Do you know what you just did?"

"Kinda."

"You just messed up the space-time continuum! You just became your own father!"

"The strangest thing is....I think I liked it....."

"Way to start off the New Year, you sick fuck!"

"Not groovy, man." said Turles.

"You were listening in on the conversation?"

"Some payment might seal my lips."

Spencer then pulled out his wallet. "Will 56 bucks do?"

"...10 cases of Coor's Light oughta do the trick."

"You want us to pay you in beer?"

"That's where the money's gonna go anyway, man."

3:15 PM – Dorm 666

The 4 guys were chillin' and being college dudes.

Then Bulma came in. "Vegeta, can I talk to you?"

"...Sure."

Then everyone perked up while Raditz grabbed some popcorn.

"...In private." she said as she took Vegeta in to the hallway.

"Vegeta, I-"

Then Vegeta punched the door.

"Ouch!" shouted Marcellous, from behind the door.

"Stop trying to listen in on the conversation with your stethoscope!"

"Vegeta, I have a confession-"

"I do too, honey....I thought Juno was a good movie."

"Vegeta-"

"Did you know Hitler only had one testicle?"

"Vegeta, I'm pregnant."


	32. The Baby Dilemma Part 2

3:15 AM – Dorm 666

"_Vegeta, I'm pregnant."_

Those same words kept resounding through Vegeta's mind. Ever since Bulma had told him she was pregnant, he just didn't know what to do. What's worse, he was probably the only one who knew.

"_Vegeta, I'm pregnant."_

"..Huh?"

"_Vegeta, I'm pregnant."_

"I know, now let me go to sleep."

"_Vegeta, I'm pregnant."_

"I know already!"

"_Vegeta, I'm pregnant."_

"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!?!?"

Then Vegeta got hit by an alarm clock.

"Shut up, it's 3 in the morning!"

8:15 AM – Dorm 666

Vegeta was still in bed, and let me tell you, he wasn't getting up any time soon.

"Vegeta, wake up."

…..

"Dude, get your ass up."

…....

"VEGETA, GET THE FUCK UP!"

…......

"OH MY GOD, BULMA'S GIVING BIRTH!"

"WHERE?!?!?" shouted Vegeta as he finally woke up.

"Nowhere, dumbass."

"Marcellous, what did you wake me up for?"

"Did you forget we have a Biology test today?" the resident wise-ass replied.

"....We did?"

"Actually, it started 15 minutes ago."

"Oh, crap!" shouted Vegeta as he ran out of the room.

"Dude, you forgot to put pants on!" Marcellous replied. "....And a shirt...."

".....And shoes....."

"....And underwear."

12:15 PM – Classroom building

Vegeta was walking into the classroom building, apparently so he could retake his test.

"Hey, Vegeta!" said Bardock, on his way out. "I noticed you weren't here for the test a few hours ago."

"I have a legit reason for that!" retorted Vegeta. "...Kinda."

"Well, do you wanna let it out?"

"Fine." sighed Vegeta. "The truth is... I got Bulma pregnant."

"Wow....that's not something you hear every day."

".....Maybe."

"I kept on thinking about it last night, and that's why I couldn't sleep."

"Well, it's my lunch break now, but I guess you could come back to my place and we could talk about it, if that's okay."

"I'd like that."

12:30 PM – Goku's/Raditz's/Bardock's House

Vegeta was sitting on the couch, and Bardock was in the kitchen.

"You hungry?" asked Bardock.

"No thanks, I'm fine."

"Hey, dad." said Raditz as he came in, along with his brother.

"What are you guys doing here? I thought you were at the hair salon!"

"The Guys and us decided to play a little kickball." said Goku.

"Aren't you kids a little to old to be playing kickball?"

"Aren't YOU a little to old to be going to Bon Jovi converts?"

…. "Touche'." sighed Bardock, "Hey, you guys mind getting that old blue bin out of the attic?"

"You mean, that blue bin you told us never to touch?"

"..Yeah, that one."

A few minutes later, Bardock was in front of a blue bin, and Goku,Vegeta, and Raditz were sitting around it.

"Well..." said Raditz, "Aren't you gonna open it?"

Then Bardock opened it.

"Dude, this is all baby stuff." said Vegeta.

"Yeah, from when Goku and Raditz were babies."

Then Goku pulled out a bib. "Heeey, I remember this!"

Raditz pulled out a little teddy bear, with one of his little button eyes missing. "Mr. Cuddles!" he shouted as he hugged the bear.

Then Bardock pulled out a pink blanket.

"I don't remember that!" said Goku.

"Your mom knitted this when she was pregnant!"

"You mean...." started Goku, "We have a sister?!"

"No, she was praying for a girl, after she had you two buttheads."

"What happened?" asked Vegeta.

"Well...I wasn't as...youthful...as I was when Goku and Raditz were conceived."

"You mean....you shot blanks."

"......Never mention that."

_**2 months later....**_

Marcellous was walking down the hall to his dorm, when all of a sudden, he was stopped by Bulma. Gee, I wonder what a pregnant woman would want with an unlicensed medical practitioner...

"Marcellous, could you help me?"

"Help you...with what?"

"You see....I have this....problem."

"I know." said Marcellous. "You're getting a little fat, I see."

"_**IT'S NOT FAT!!!!"**_ shouted Bulma, **_"I'M PREGNANT, YOU RETARDED SON OF A BITCH!"_**

Marcellous was now in a fetal position on the floor.

"Oh my God!" said Bulma. "Are you alright, did I hurt you?"

"Y-you...are definitely.....p-pregnant."

"I was wondering if you could look inside of me and find the baby."

"Y-you want me to g-give you and a-abortion?"

"_**NO! I WANT YOU TO LOOK AT THE BABY!!!"**_

_**2 months later.....**_

By this point in time, pretty much everyone knew Bulma was pregnant, if the fact that she looked like she just ate a pig whole wasn't obvious enough. Now, the guys and the girls were waiting in Dorm 666 for Marcellous to come out with the results for Bulma's baby.

"Man, I wonder if Bulma will be okay..." wondered Spencer, "Trunks, why are you all alone in the corner?"

"No special reason." murmured Trunks.

"You know, you should get away from behind the door, someone could open it and-"

"Hey guys!" said Clare as she slammed the door open.

"...Hurt you."

"Clare, where were you?" asked Goku.

"I was on vacation in the Bahamas, remember?"

"_Oh my God." _thought Trunks, "_I think I got my mom pregnant. What if...I'm the father?!"_

Then Marcellous opened the door, with some results in his hand.

"What are the results?" asked Rae.

"Bulma's not having a baby."

Then Vegeta sighed from relief. "Not one baby!"

"Right." said Marcellous. "....She's having twins."

Then Vegeta sunk to the floor.

"But here's the catch...." the Medical Student started.....

"They're both from different fathers."

* * *

**Meh, I decided I would make the two-part saga a three-part.**


	33. The Baby Dilemma Part 3

"What?! Two fathers?!" asked Clare, "How is that even possible?"

"I don't know." said Marcellous, "As far as I'm concerned, this is a medical impossibility."

"But you said they were twins." reminded Spencer.

"Well...they're not really twins, per se....they're just two half-siblings developing in the same uterus!" Marcellous smiled.

Then Vegeta slapped Marcellous. "This is nothing to smile about!"

"Dude, you don't have to be so rough...." Marcellous mumbled, rubbing his cheek.

"But, who are the fathers?" asked Radiza.

"Well, I could only get a DNA match for one of them."

"Who is it?" asked ChiChi.

"It's Vegeta."

Then Vegeta showed a little relief..... a little.

"..Wait, I'm gonna be a father!"

"Congratulations." said Goku.

Then Vegeta started crying. "My life's half over!!!"

"Also..." added Marcellous, "It's a boy."

Vegeta eased up on the waterworks a little.

"Hey, check this out!" said Raditz, who was on a laptop.

"What is it?" asked Rae.

"It's this story called 'The Baby Dilemma'." started Raditz, "It's about some guy from the future, who goes back in time to see his parents, but he gets his mom pregnant at the same time his dad gets her pregnant!"

"That's some freaky shit right there." said Marcellous.

"What kind of retarded son of a fuck would write that piece of garbage?" asked Spencer.

"It's so wrong, yet so intriguing." stated Raditz.

"Hey Raditz, you mind printing out a copy of that?" asked Trunks.

"Dude....you like this kind of stuff?"

"Nah, I just wanna see how the mom gets knocked up."

Then Marcellous put a Bible on Trunks' head.

"Dude, what are you doing?"

"BE SILENT, AND COME OUT OF HIM!" shouted Marcellous as he started splashing Holy Water all over Trunks.

"Dude, this stuff actually burns!"

"LET IT CLEANSE YOU OF YOUR INIQUITIES!!"

_**1 month later....**_

By now the whole campus had known that Vegeta had continued the Saiyan Dynasty, and boy, Bulma sure was getting a whole lot of attention....because of her personality...not because she was 5 months pregnant.....

….Who am I kidding, it was because she got knocked up 5 months ago.

…..Hell, even Headmaster Frieza knew.

...Seriously, Headmaster Frieza is the one person you do not want to know that you knocked up your girlfriend.

10:45 AM – College Campus

Most of the students were just walking around, going from class to class, tossing a football from opposite ends of the campus, some of the pregnant women (cough)Bulma(cough) were casually staying the bathroom of their dorm, talking to the yet-to-be-fully-developed fetuses lying inside of them.

"Attention, students." Headmaster Frieza's voice boomed through the nearby loudspeakers, "In case some of you didn't know, today marks 5 months since fellow classmate Vegeta has....uhhhh....put a rat in his girlfriend's kitchen."

Then all of the students started laughing.

"SHUT UP, YOU FUTURE HAMBURGER-FLIPPERS!"

Then all of the students shut up.

"...That is all."

Marcellous, who had just walked out of the school store, was pretty messed up upon hearing Headmaster Frieza's euphemism for pregnancy.

"....Where in hell does he come up with those?"

7:25 PM – Hallway

Marcellous, Goku and Raditz were in front of their dorm, apparently getting ready for something.

"So, you get the condoms from the medicine cabinet, and I'll get the caviar." said Goku, to Marcellous.

"Wait, what are we doing again?" asked Raditz.

"We're going to launch sexual contraceptives full of fish eggs over into the Konoha College swimming pool."

"Awesome." said Raditz, "Wait what do I do?"

"You?" asked Marcellous, "You're going to launch used training bras onto the football field."

"Let's go!"

Then Marcellous ran into the dorm, where he found Vegeta, getting his things.

"Dude, what are you doing?"

"I'm packing."

"For what? A vacation?"

"No." started Vegeta, "....I'm leaving the college."

"What!?" asked Marcellous, "You can't leave, there's no reason to!"

"I've found one. I've decided to leave with Bulma, so we can start a new family, together."

"What about the other baby?"

"It doesn't matter. I'll take him or her in as my child."

Marcellous sat down next to Vegeta. "Vegeta, you're not thinking clearly."

Then Vegeta stopped packing for a moment and sat down next to Marcellous. "No, Marcellous. For the first time in my life, I am thinking clearly. I've decided what I want to do, and if you don't like it, that's just too bad."

"What if things don't work out the way you want them to?"

"I'll find a way to work them out." then Vegeta got back to packing.

"What will everyone say?"

"It doesn't matter what they say. The only thing that matters to me now is Bulma."

"But, what are you going to do?"

"I've decided....I'm going to marry her."

"Well then..." said Marcellous as he got up, "If you really want to put your plans in action...the door's right there."

"You mean....you're not going to stop me?"

"Why should I?" asked Marcellous, "It's your decision, not mine."

Then Vegeta walked toward the door, but he stopped for a second.

"Marcellous....thanks for understanding."

"Any time."

Then Vegeta opened the door.

"Vegeta."

"Huh?"

Marcellous handed Vegeta a picture.

Vegeta looked at it for a second. "....Our High School graduation."

"You might wanna keep that, for old time's sake."

Vegeta smiled for a second, before he finally closed the door behind him.

3:00 AM – College Campus

Vegeta had finally decided to leave, and so he was taking his final look at the college.

"Hey...bro." said a voice from behind him.

Vegeta turned around. "Table, where have you been for the last 6 months?"

"Not getting my girlfriend pregnant, that's for sure."

"Oh, what's that supposed to mean?"

"It means....you just couldn't let the spotlight shine on someone else, could you?"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"You. Me. Dad. Dad always thought of you more than he did of me. Even when I was back at home, I would always make the Dean's List in High School, Dad never talked to the family about that. He always talked about his perfect son Vegeta, who got into one of the top schools in the country on a scholarship, his perfect son who was the MVP in his High School basketball team for 3 years straight,his perfect son who gave him his first grandchild!! He NEVER TALKED ABOUT ME!"

"What do I have to do will all of this?"

"You always have to make sure I never get acknowledged!"

"You just seem so sudden about this!"

"It's been bothering me for years, but I've kept it inside of me. Now, it's all coming out."

"Why didn't you ever talk to anyone about this?"

"TALKING DOES NOTHING! You just had to go and get your little slutty girlfriend pregnant, didn't you?"

"..What did you just say?"

"You heard me! She's such a slut, one of the babies isn't even yours!"

"Say that one more time."

"YOUR GIRLFFRIEND IS A SLUT-"

Then Vegeta punched Table. But this was not ordinary punch. This was a rage-fueled punch that was delivered by a very short and angry man with a receding hairline. A punch so strong, Table was instantly knocked to the ground, where he began bleeding from his eye, the areas of contact. Hell, it was so strong, I think I felt it from here.

Then Vegeta continued walking off.

_**1 month later...**_

5:00 AM – Dorm 666

Raditz was peacefully asleep....until the lights went on.

"Dude, what the hell?"

Then he saw Marcellous, fully dressed, about to head out the door.

"Why are you dressed?"

"I have to find Vegeta! I found the DNA tests for both the babies!"

"You did?!"

"Yeah!"

"Dude, what are we waiting for?!" asked Raditz as he jumped out of bed and into the closet.

5:25 AM – Road

Marcellous and Raditz were just driving down a road, thinking of places Vegeta might be.

"Let's see...Vegeta said something about being married...."

"Vegeta would definitely spring for something cheap."

"We've been though 2 towns already, so let's start looking."

A few minutes went by, and Raditz spotted a drive-thru wedding chapel.

"Pull over."

5:30 AM – Drive-thru wedding chapel

Vegeta and Bulma were both dressed in traditional wedding attire, while a priest was currently marrying them. Oh, did I mention the chapel was empty?

"Now, If there is anyone here who object to this matrimony..." started the priest, "Speak now, of forever hold your peace."

Of course, there was no one there.

"Well then-"

"I Object!" shouted Marcellous as the doors flew open and commenced what might possibly the most overly dramatic scene this fan-fiction will ever have.

"Marcellous, what are doing here?" asked Vegeta.

"Vegeta, I have the DNA scan for the babies!"

"It's too late now."

"But you don't understand! The truth is that-"

"I'm the father!" shouted Goku, as he burst in.

"No, I'm the father!" shouted Spencer, who also ran in.

"Screw you, I'm the father!" shouted Marcellous.

"You're all wrong, I'm the father!" shouted Raditz.

Then everyone started laughing.

"What's so funny?" pouted Raditz.

"Dude, everyone knows you're a virgin for life."

"Wait, how did Goku and Spencer get here?" asked Marcellous.

"It's easy." said Spencer. "We just followed the trail of breakfast burrito wrappers."

Then Raditz burped.

"So, what was he DNA test result?" asked Bulma.

"As it turns out, both of the babies came from-"

"Me." said Trunks as he stepped into the chapel.

"Oh Lawd!" gasped the priest as he fainted.

"You see..." Trunks explained, "I had a little to much to drink at my LOV Party...and I kinda....did Bulma in a dumpster in the back of a local brothel."

Vegeta was surprisingly calm. "I would kill you....If I didn't shoot myself with 2 tranquilizer darts this morning."

Then Bulma knelled down in pain. "I-I think my water just broke!"

"That's impossible!" shouted Marcellous, "She's two months early!"

6:39 AM – Local Hospital

Marcellous,Raditz,Goku,Trunks,Vegeta, and Spencer were all in a hospital room, with Bulma lying on a Bed.

Then a doctor came in. "Ms. Bulma...I am sorry to tell you that both of your children had died during the birth process."

Then Bulma started crying. Vegeta then got by her side and held her hand.

The doctor continued. "We have identified the father as a Mr. Trunks, but our lab results identified him as your son....."

Spencer then looked at Trunks with wide eyes.

Trunks then walked out of the hospital room, but nobody noticed that he took a bin of used needles with him.

"Bulma.."started Marcellous, "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay...it wasn't you fault."

"If only I could have seen this coming....I might have been able to stop it..."

"Vegeta..."started Goku, "This might be too early...but...."

"Are you coming back to the college?"

Vegeta had a pensive moment.

"Yeah, I think I'll come back."

"Really?" asked Raditz.

"Yeah. It felt pretty good punching my brother in the eye."

"What?"

"Nothing."

Then something crashed outside.

Marcellous, Spencer and Raditz ran outside to see what had happened.

There, in front of the hospital, Trunks' body was there, with a used needle in his hand.

Spencer went over to a piece of paper nearby and picked it up. "A note?"

Goku went over to the used needle box. "It's been opened."

Marcellous went over to Trunks' body and checked for a pulse.

"....He's dead."


	34. Elevating Surprises

7:34 AM – Dude Cave

Marcellous was wearing a black tuxedo, and he was building something from french fries.

"Marcellous!" said Rae as she walked in, wearing a black dress. "What are you doing?"

"Building a model of the Pantheon from stale french fries." he replied. "..How did you get in here? This is the DUDE cave."

"Goku, food. You get the idea." then she sat down next to him. "Trunk's funeral is in a few hours. What are you doing here?"

"I don't do to well with funerals. Not since my father died."

"You didn't even know him. He left you and your mom when you were a baby."

"True, but he was still my dad."

"First of all, he was killed by alcohol."

Hey, he was NOT killed by alcohol." Marcellous retorted. "He was hit by a beer truck."

"Eh, same thing." said Rae as she took away one of the bottom french fries, causing the whole thing to collapse.

"Ohhh, Caesar isn't going to be happy!"

"Just come on!" sighed Rae as she pulled her boyfriend's hand to get up.

8:00 AM – Dorm 666

As it turns out, the rest of Dorm 666 (and Spencer) were dressed the same way as Marcellous.

"I can't stand this suit!" said Vegeta, "We look like the motherfucking Blues Brothers!"

Then Marcellous came out with a large, blue cooler. "Raditz, could you help me with this?"

"Sure." then Raditz got up and grabbed another, identical cooler.

"What's in those?" asked Spencer.

Then Marcellous opened one of the coolers.

"AHHHH!" shouted Spencer, "HUMAN REMAINS!" then he grabbed a knife and stabbed the apparent human remains.

"Dude, you might be a vegetarian, but you don't have to stab the meat."

"I'm not vegetarian." said Spencer, "What do you mean, MEAT?"

"It's Saiyan tradition." explained Vegeta, "Whenever large amounts of people gather together, it's Saiyan instinct to have food around."

"Don't you think food is a little...inappropriate for a funeral?"

"...YOUR FACE!"

"Your mother."

"...I HATE YOU!" shouted Vegeta as he ran into the bathroom.

"Hey Vegeta!" said Marcellous. "...Vasectomy."

Then the bathroom started shaking violently.

"Vegeta can't stand the thought of having a doctor touch Ping and Pong." laughed Marcellous.

8:45 AM – Elevator

Marcellous,Raditz and Goku were in an elevator, waiting to get down to the bottom floor.

"I..I still can't believe that Trunks died..." said Raditz.

"I know," replied Goku, "It's just one tragedy after another."

"The strangest thing was..." started Marcellous, "I actually got to know him pretty well."

The lights in the elevator flickered off for a quick second, and then something sounded like it broke loose from the top of the elevator shaft.

"Please, don't tell me we're stuck here."

Marcellous opened the hatch at the top of the elevator, and looked around. "Oh, we are definitely stuck."

"This is just great." said Goku. "We're waring itchy suits, we've got a funeral to go to, and we're stuck in an elevator!"

"Marcellous, try to see if you can squeeze through the hatch!" suggested Raditz.

"I don't think so, man." replied Marcellous. "..I should have had that last slice of pizza last night...."

9:15 AM – Elevator

"Damn, how long have we been here?" asked Marcellous.

"How long have I been gay?" asked Raditz.

"What?"

"Did you just insult me?"

"Raditz, are you drunk?"

"...Maybe." said Raditz as he reached for a flask inside his jacket.

Marcellous grabbed the flask and sniffed it. "Dude, you were gonna bring alcohol to a funeral?" he asked as he poured the flask out.

"Fine, it was your scotch."

Marcellous muttered a little obscenity to himself before he resumed his waiting.

9:45 AM – Elevator

"Raditz, tell me a story." yawned Goku.

"There was once a man so ugly everyone died." said Raditz, "The end."

"Awww, that's my favorite!" yelped Goku, "Ok, so I'm thinking of a number between 1 and-"

"Pudding." said Marcellous.

"Damn it..." whispered Goku. "What's my favorite mov-"

"Lo Mein." answered Raditz.

"Damn it...." whispered Goku, "If I was a duck-"

"Christmas Island." Marcellous and Raditz answered.

"Where do you guys get this from?"

"BECAUSE YOU WROTE IT ON YOUR BLOG, FUCKWAD!"

10:15 AM – Elevator

The guys were currently half dead, when the doors of the elevator were pushed open.

"Thank you!" shouted Goku as he ran up to one of the officers and started groveling at his feet.

"Yeah..." said Raditz as he got up and dusted himself off.

"Hey..." started one of the officers, "Is your name Marcellous?"

"Yeah, is there a problem?"

The officer handcuffed Marcellous. "You are hereby under arrest for illegally administering a paternity test."


	35. Fun Times With Dad

12:25 PM – Local Jail

Marcellous was sitting alone in a jail cell....curled up in a fetal position.

"Hey."

…..

"You."

….

"Dude in the tux."

….

Then something hit Marcellous in the head. "Dude, what the fuck?" he asked as he rubbed his head and looked around, to the cell in front if him.

"Yo."

"What?"

"What are you in for?"

"Meh, I gave an illegal paternity test."

"I killed my dad and then I stabbed my mom."

"I wish I could have killed my dad."

"Why?"

"He left me and my mom when I was a baby."

"Tough."

"Well, at least I'll get out."

"How?"

"My girlfriend's gonna pay my bail."

"Lucky you. I got life."

"Tough."

Then one of the officers came up and unlocked Marcellous' jail cell. "Sir, your bail has been paid."

"Wait," asked Marcellous, "Who paid it?"

"He's coming right now."

Then a man came walking up. He was in his mid-40's, his hair looked kind of like Marcellous', but it curved downwards. He was wearing black jeans and a black shirt, and he was wearing a brown coat over it.

"Hey." said the man.

"Gee, thanks for paying my bail and all..." started Marcellous, "But, who are you?"

"You probably won't believe me.." he started, "But...I'm your father."

"That's impossible." started Marcellous, "My father's been dead for 19 years."

"Oh, the crazy things your mom tells you." he laughed. "She always was such a joker."

"If you are my father..." started Marcellous, "What's your name?"

"My name?" asked the man, "That's easy. It's Takeo."

"Takeo?" repeated Marcellous, "There are lots of guys named Takeo. What's my mom's name?"

"I could never forget about Izumi. She was my wife at one point, you know."

"I can't believe it." said Marcellous, "You ARE my father."

"So,how old are you now?" asked Takeo.

"I'm 21."

"Damn, you're old."

"Well, I could be old....AND look like you."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

Then they both started laughing.

"Oh, you are definitely my son!"

"Whatever you say, dad."

1:23 PM – Dorm 666

The guys (minus Marcellous) and Rae were just hanging out, waiting for the last member of their dorm.

"So, what did Marcellous get arrested for again?" asked Rae.

"He gave Bulma an illegal paternity test, and someone ratted him to the fuzz." explained Vegeta.

"And his still in there?!"

"He called and said someone already paid his bail." explained Goku.

"Hey guys!" said Marcellous as he walked in with Takeo.

"Marcellous, who is he?" asked Rae.

"Son, who is she?" asked Takeo.

"Son? This is your dad?"

"Dad, this is Rae, my girlfriend."

"Nice to meet you." greeted Takeo as he extended his hand.

Then Rae slapped him. "Where were you for the last 19 years?"

"You're gonna have to try harder than that, honey." Takeo said. "I used to be a professional boxer."

"You DID?" asked Marcellous, "I never knew that."

"Yeah. I picked up a TKO over George Foreman at Madison Square Garden."

Then the door opened, Bardock and King Vegeta behind it.

"Dad?" asked Vegeta, "What are you doing here?"

"Bardock told me Marcellous was arrested, and so I came to pay his bail."

"But what we didn't expect..." started Bardock, "Was his father."

"Nice to see you too, honey."

"Yeah, it's been 19 years since we've seen your ugly mug around here."

"I see you still haven't shaved that ferret off your face."

"I'll shave mine when you shave yours."

"Dude, I don't have facial hair."

"Who said I was talking about FACIAL hair?"

"Oh, that was dirty."

Then all 3 of them started laughing.

"Damn, I haven't seen you two since....well...19 years ago."

"I'm gonna go take this suit off..." started Marcellous, "This thing is itchy as all hell."

1:30 – Local Restaurant

Marcellous and Takeo were dining out at a local restaurant, having some good ol' father-son bonding.

"So, how's college life been going?"

"Meh, too much studying."

"College can be fun too." explained Takeo, "I met your mom in College."

"What college did you go to anyway?"

"The same one you and the guys are going to."

"Really?" Was Headmaster Frieza still in charge?"

"Totally. Did you know he had an afro?"

"No way."

"He would hide tons of shit in there."

Then Marcellous laughed. "I wonder how he got so cranky."

"You didn't know? His wife ran away with his psychiatrist."

"Holy shit."

"Your Hors d'oeuvres, sirs." said a waiter as he dropped of a plate of food samples.

"..What the hell is an Hors d'oeuvre" asked Takeo.

"It's just a fancy word for an appetizer."

"Ah."

The father-son duo then began to chow down on buffalo wings and nachos.

"Hey dad."

"Yeah?"

"Have you ever considered getting back into boxing?"

"I don't know." explained Takeo. "I've taken a lot of abuse in that ring, I don't know if I could make a comeback."

"I'm not saying you need to restart your career, you could just fight an exhibition every now and then."

"Yeah, I guess I could do that."

2:15 PM – Local Restaurant

Takeo and Marcellous were just finishing up their plates, when a waiter came by.

"Your bill, sirs."

Marcellous pulled out his wallet.

"It's okay son, I got this." said Takeo as he looked at the bill.

"....I might not have this as well as I think."

Marcellous looked at the bill.

"....$45 just for a bowl of soup?"

Takeo looked at the bill again.

"..$5 just for extra napkins?!"

Marcellous sighed.

"I never thought I would have to do this again." said Takeo. "Excuse me, waiter?"

"Yes, sir?"

"Could we get a few desserts to go?"

"As you wish, sir." the waiter said as he left.

"Run." whispered Takeo to his son as they both got up and left.

3:00 PM – Movie Theater

"2 tickets for Friday the 13th, please." said Marcellous.

"That'll be $18."

Marcellous gave the cashier $20 and took his tickets.

"Hey dad."

"Yeah?"

"You know what's the best part about movies?"

"What?"

"Using a laser pointer to distract everyone from the main event."

Takeo pulled a laser pointer out of his pocket. "You really are you father's son."

Marcellous did the same. "I have no regrets."


	36. Two Birds with One Stone

12:47 PM – Local Supermarket

Vegeta was shopping around in the supermarket, looking for some stuff him and his college friends might need.

"Stupid Marcellous.." Vegeta mumbled, "Always making me go grocery shopping because he's taller than me... hey, spray cheese."

"Hey, Vegeta!" said Takeo as he came walking down to Vegeta.

"Dude, what are you doing here?"

"They're having a exhibition tonight against this new Russian dude."

"...And?"

"I'm gonna be his opponent!"

"Are you serious?"

"Is the Earth round?"

"Technically, it's not. It's flat at its poles."

"Dude, shut up."

"Does Marcellous know?"

"I'm on my way to tell him."

"I'm just doing some shopping, you want a ride?"

"You don't have a car."

"True, but Raditz always leaves his keys on the counter, where anyone can take them."

1:15 PM – Dorm 666

Raditz was looking around the dorm for something. "Hey Kakarot, did you see my keys anywhere?"

"No, not really."

"What do you mean, not really?"

"Your car is missing too, so I guess your keys went with it, too."

"Damn, I was supposed to go to the dentist today."

"Screw dentists." said Marcellous. "I can do the same thing with a power drill."

"I'm not letting you anywhere near my mouth with something that can be used as a weapon."

"Hey guys." said Takeo as he came in with Vegeta, who then put some groceries on the counter.

"Catch." said Vegeta as he threw some keys at Raditz. "By the way, your car has a HUGE scratch across the back bumper."

Raditz ran outside.

"Sucker."

"Marcellous, you know about that new boxing exhibition match tonight, right?"

"Yeah, they still haven't decided to dude's opponent."

"You're lookin' at him."

"NO WAY."

"Yes way!"

"How are you supposed to fight him? You haven't been in the ring for the last 20 years!"

"I've been training for the last 15."

"Well, I guess I could be in your corner."

7:30 PM – Hirokiwa Stadium

Marcellous and Takeo were in the locker room, getting ready for the match.

"Dad, are you sure you can do this?"

"Relax, I've done tons of exhibitions in my time."

"But this new guy is better, stronger, and faster. Plus, he's Russian."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"He works out to techno music!"

"That doesn't mean anything."

"Techno music is very invigorating."

"The match is about to begin."

_**In the arena....**_

"Welcome to the Hirokiwa Stadium. Tonight we are hosting a boxing exhibition between the Russian Nickolai Drago, who is currently undefeated since his debut in Russia 3 months ago. His opponent tonight is Takeo "The Terrible", who is a veteran boxer, best known for his TKO over George Foreman at Madison Square Garden. Takeo is planning to make a comeback after 20 years, but his chances don't seem so good."

"You are absolutely right about Takeo's chance being slim, Tony. But we must remember that Takeo is a two-time World Heavyweight champion."

"Quiet, Brandon. The match is about to start."

Then the announcer stepped into the ring.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome to the ring....from Moscow, Russia weighing in a 356 lbs, at 6"11....NICKOLAI DRAGO!!!"

Then a tall, pale Russian stepped into the ring, and he was quite muscular, almost to the point where he was unnatural. He had blue eyes and spiky, blonde hair.

Then the crowd booed him.

"And his opponent, from the wonderful city of Hirokiwa, weighing in at 134 lbs, the former two-time World Heavyweight Champion...TAKEO THE TERRIBLE!

As Takeo came in with his corner men (Marcellous, Raditz, and Vegeta), the crowd started cheering wildly.

As both men got into the ring, the referee called them both to the center of the ring.

"Okay, I want a good clean fight. No hitting below the belt, no kidney punches,no rabbit punches. In the event of a knockdown you go to the neutral corner and stay there until I tell you otherwise."

Then both men went to their corners.

**Round One**

As the bell commencing the first round had rung, both men stepped out of their corners. Nickolai simply stood there. Takeo was maneuvering around the ring,until he started laying a few punches on the Russian.

"It doesn't look like Drago is feeling those jabs, Brandon."

"He must be joking."

Sick and tired of just standing around, Drago finally punched Takeo. But this was no ordinary punch. This was a knockout punch.

Takeo took a few steps back, and continued moving around the ring.

"It looks like Takeo was hurt by that punch."

Drago caught up with Takeo, and then he trapped him in a corner, where he unleashed a load of punches.

"I think the ref should stop this before he kills him!"

"The ref's not gonna stop the match because of a little blood, dude."

By this point, the ref had made Drago back off of Takeo, who was now bleeding. Thankfully the bell rung, and both men had end back to their corners.

**End of Round One**

Vegeta was taking care of Takeo's cuts, and Raditz was taking care of the bruises.

"Dad, I have to stop this. He's killing you out there!" said Marcellous.

"Don't....stop...the match."

"I have to! It's not even the second round yet, and he's already got you bleeding!"

"I swear to God, don't stop the match!"

Then the bell rung.

**Start of Round Two**

Both men started in the center of the ring. Takeo started to give a few punches to the body.

"Drago still isn't feeling it."

"It looks like Takeo's in some pretty hot water."

Then Drago started throwing jabs at Takeo, which the latter blocked. Before anyone knew it, Takeo was on the ropes, and Drago was unleashing on him. Then Drago backed off due to the ref's orders.

Takeo was down to one eye, the other one swollen and bleeding. Hell, most of his face was swollen and bleeding.

Then Drago connected a mighty knockout punch.

"And Drago comes with a powerful haymaker!"

"It looks like that could end the match!"

Then Takeo bounced off of the ropes and on to the mat.

"Dude, I think he's done." said Vegeta to Marcellous.

By this time, the ref had counted to 10.

Takeo still hadn't gotten up.

Then corner men and tabloid reporters alike rushed into the ring.

Marcellous went and turned his dad over. He checked for a pulse.

"Dude, is he okay?" asked Raditz.

"...I'm not getting a pulse."

"Hey, someone get an ambulance out here!" shouted Vegeta.

Meanwhile, reporters were simply crowding Nickolai.

"Mr. Drago, it looks like you just killed a man. Do you have anything to say?"

"..If he dies....he dies."

Then Marcellous and Drago stared at each other for a quick second.

_**2 weeks later...**_

2:45 PM – Dude Cave

Marcellous was sitting alone on the couch, watching the news channel.

"In other news, the funeral for the former boxer, Takeo "The Terrible" was held today. For those who don't know, Takeo was killed in his match last week against Russian Nickolai Drago, who the local press has nicknamed 'Death from Above'. Rumor has it that next month, Takeo's son is set to fight Drago in his hometown of Moscow, Russia. Back to you, Diane."

Marcellous turned off the TV.

"Hey." said Rae as she walked in. "Your dad's funeral was a few hours ago."

"Yeah, I know."

"Did you hear the rumor?"

"Yup."

"Tell me...is it true?"

"...Yeah."

"I'm going to Russia to fight Drago."

"But why? You didn't even know him that well!"

"But he was still my dad."

"I think you should know..I think this is stupid."

"To be honest, Rae...I don't care what you're opinion is on this."

"Are you saying...you don't care what I think?!"

"Well, if you think me doing what I want to do is stupid....I don't think we should be together."

"Are you...breaking up with me?"

"If you don't want be to do what I think is right...then yes."

Then Rae got up and walked away.

Marcellous buried his face in his hands.


	37. Training for Battle

**Hey guys. Sorry I haven't been able to update in so long, but my computer broke down (again) and I have only limited access to the Windows 98, which has now been made public. I am proud to say that this is the first DBZ College chapter to have an official theme song!The theme song for this chapter is Saliva-Hunt You Down. I find that it really expresses the way Marcellous is feeling. Now on with the show!**

* * *

2:55 PM – College Campus

Spencer,Vegeta, Raditz and Marcellous were standing outside of the college, with a driver putting some bags in the back of a limo.

Spencer put his hand on Marcellous's shoulder. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Spencer, I _have_ to do this." Then Marcellous looked up at one of the dorms.

Rae was standing in her dorm, looking at him through the window.

Vegeta honked the horn on the car. "Dude, we have a plane to catch!"

"Sir, please refrain from entering the driver's seat."

"Oh, piss off!"

Marcellous looked back at Rae for a quick second, before he finally got in the limo.

5:23 PM – Moscow, Russia

A plane had just landed, and out stepped the guys.

"Mr. Marcellous, welcome to Russia." said one of the officials who came to meet him.

"Jeez, when does the sun come up in this place?" asked Vegeta, noticing the cold.

"About 4 months."

Then Vegeta ran back toward the plane. "DON'T LEAVE ME HERE!" He would have made it, but he tripped over an ice block.

Then Marcellous noticed two men in a car. "Who are they?" he asked.

"Those are Dolph and Peter." The man replied, "They will be watching your training."

Then one of the men got out and started putting the luggage in the back of the car.

"It gets very freezing around nightfall. I suggest you hurry."

5:45 PM – Moscow,Russia

The Guys had just arrived at their temporary base, an old-fashioned log cabin.

"This is all you need. It has the necessities, hot water and heat." then the official and the spotters drove off."

"We should get started." said Raditz as he walked in.

"This is great!" shouted Vegeta. "I'm in the middle of nowhere in winter!" Then he tripped over a block of ice.....again.

7:36 PM – Cabin

Spencer and Raditz were playing chess.

"King me, my friend." said Raditz.

"Damn you to hell!" shouted Spencer as he took the game board and threw it into a nearby fire.

"...Maybe we should just play Cards."

Meanwhile, Marcellous was upstairs in his room.

"Hey." said Vegeta as he walked up the stairs. "Can we talk for a second?"

"Sure."

Then Vegeta sat down next to Marcellous. "Listen, I know how you feel. My dad was almost never there for me, it was usually me and my brother alone in the house."

"Well, at least you knew your dad...before he died."

"It was like he _was_ dead. He would always go out with his buddies and drink..."

"Tough."

"I mean...my life was hell."

"I see."

"Just...just let me know if you need anything."

"I've only got 14 days to train, and I've already wasted one of them."

"We'll get a head start tomorrow." Then Vegeta walked away....

…..but then he tripped on a suitcase, which sent him falling down the stairs.

"Dude, you okay?"

"What do you call it when the bone goes through the skin?"

"Compound fracture."

"Yeah, I think I have about 3 of those..."

**Day 2**

Marcellous had gotten up early, and decided to take a little jog through the surrounding area. As he was jogging, he noticed Dolph and Peter watching him. Then they started driving behind him. Pretty soon, they were driving side-by-side and eventually passed him. Marcellous stopped running, as he spent himself trying to outrun the car.

**Day 4**

Marcellous and Vegeta were inside of the barn.

"Okay, now, we start reflex training."

"Not too har-" Marcellous dodged something.

"Dude, did you just throw a brick at me?"

"Think fast!" then Vegeta threw another brick.

Marcellous dodged that one, but was unable to dodge the follow-up.

"Sorry!"

"Jesus, my eye!"

Vegeta would have gone to help him, but he tripped over one brick and landed on another.

"God, my pelvis!"

**Day 6**

Marcellous was practicing his upper body strength by doing push-ups.

"89...90..91.." he counted.

"You can do it!" said Spencer, "Only 16 more to go!"

Vegeta came in with some beers, but he tripped over Marcellous and fell into a stack of hay.

"Why does this always happen to me?!"

**Day 7**

Marcellous decided to take this day off, since training in an arctic country can do that to you.

"Marcellous?"

Marcellous turned around in his bed. "...Rae, what are you doing here?"

She sat down next to him. "I decided that just because you feel you have to do something, doesn't mean I can't do it with you."

"But you said-"

"It doesn't matter what I said. That's all in the past now."

"So, you don't mind me going through with the fight."

"Not at all."

"So, does this mean we're back together?"

"You tell me." Rae smiled as she kissed him.

**Day 8**

Marcellous was jogging again. The car was following him..again. This time, the car drove beside him. But this time was different. Marcellous was actually keeping the lead. The car tried to pass him, but Marcellous just ran faster. Eventually, Marcellous ran so fast that he forced the car off the road into a riverbank. Marcellous stopped running for a second, and he looked back at the car, a smug grin plastered on his face.

**Day 10**

"Okay, are you ready to try reflex training again?" asked Vegeta.

"Are you sure you can throw bricks fast enough?" asked Marcellous.

Then Vegeta threw 2 bricks. Marcellous dodged them both. Vegeta threw 2 more bricks, with the same result. Then Vegeta threw 3 bricks. Marcellous dodged the first 2, and deflected the 3rd back at Vegeta.

"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, MY SPLEEN!!!"

"Well, at least you didn't trip."

As soon as Vegeta got up, he tripped on another brick.

"Damn, you suck."

**Day 12**

Rae,Spencer,Raditz,and Vegeta were sitting in a large wheelbarrow.

"Marcellous, this is the final test of strength." said Raditz. "Are you ready?"

"God, you sound like a Jedi." said Marcellous as he took the handles of the wheelbarrow. He had no problem pulling it up, but pushing it over his head was the problem.

"You can do it!" shouted Rae.

Meanwhile, Vegeta was secretly adding bricks to the wheelbarrow.

Marcellous used all his force to push the wheelbarrow over his head. In fact, he used so much force that it propelled Vegeta from the wheelbarrow, sending his head straight into a brick.

"I think that scraped my brain!" shouted Vegeta.

**Day 14**

Marcellous was in the middle of Spencer,Vegeta, and Raditz.

"Okay, now you have to beat all of us up." explained Spencer. "Are you ready?"

Marcellous checked his wrist tape. "Ready as I'll ever be."

Vegeta came out first. Marcellous connected with a right hook, which made Vegeta stumble backwards and trip over a bale of hay...into another brick.

"CHRIST, WHERE DO THESE THING COME FROM?!"

Then Raditz came out. Marcellous gave him a few quick jabs, before sending him down with an uppercut.

Then Spencer came out. He threw a few jabs, and all missed. Marcellous gave him a few body punches, and ended it with a few hooks.

"Marcellous, you did it!" said Rae as she hugged him.

"No problem." he said as he playfully punched her cheek. She seriously punched him in the nose, sending him to the ground.

"Oh, sorry!"

_**7 days later.....**_

"Welcome to Stalin Stadium, here we are. Tonight we have a match with Marcellous, the son of Takeo "The Terrible", against Nickolai Drago, who killed the former's father in an exhibition match 2 months ago."

"Let's not forget Cole, Marcellous's chances of winning are pretty slim, Drago is undefeated."

"True Jerry, but Marcellous is the son of a two-time World Heavyweight champion, who TKO'd George Foreman at Madison Square Garden!"

"Let's go to a locker room interview with Marcellous."

A camera shows Marcellous in the locker room, putting tape in his wrists.

"Mr. Marcellous, do you have any words for the people at home, or the opponent?"

Marcellous was silent for a few moments, but he finally spoke up.

"Nickolai Drago, you took from me what can never be replaced. For that, you will pay." Then Marcellous went back to taping his wrists.

"You heard the man, he sounded serious."

"True, True."

7:45 PM – Locker Room

Marcellous was having a few moments to himself before the match, when a woman came in. She was in her mid-40's, she had long hair and black eyes. She was wearing a pair of black jeans and a white shirt.

"Mom?" asked Marcellous, "What are you doing here?"

"I just came to wish you good luck in your match..."she explained, "And to give you a few things." Then she pulled out a box, which Marcellous opened.

"....My dad's boxing shorts."

"Not just any shorts..." she explained. "Those were the shorts he wore when he TKO'd George Foreman. He would have wanted you to have them."

"Gee, thanks."

"There's more."

Marcellous looked under the shorts, and he saw a letter.

"He wrote that to you when you were 4 years old."

"He tried to contact me and you never told me?!"

"I didn't think you would be old enough to understand."

Marcellous looked at the letter.

_Marcellous, This is your dad._

_I just want you to know...I left your mother, not you._

_P.S: Look on the back of this letter._

Marcellous looked on the back of the paper, and he saw a solid gold chain with a diamond cross pendant.

"I can't believe you!"

"Oh yeah, I raise you for 19 years and he sends you a letter with jewelry! It's a tie!"

"Can....Can I just have a few moments to myself?" asked Marcellous.

His mom walked out, with a few tears in her eyes.

Then Marcellous got down on his knees, and held his hand in a praying position. A few minutes went by, and a bell rung.

"Dude," said Spencer as he ran in, "Your match is about to start!"


	38. Marcellous' Odyssey

"Well, it seems the match is about to begin."

"You know, if it weren't for the referee calling both men to the middle of the ring to go over the rules, I would have never guessed that."

"You don't have to be so edgy."

"You know what, girl-pants? You should team up with Jerry Lawler, then you can be the King _and_ Queen of commentary."

Meanwhile, Marcellous and Drago were in their respective corners. While the Russian crowd was booing Marcellous, Spencer was talking to Marcellous.

"Ok, remember to keep your chin down, bob and weave."

"Got it."

"This is televised, so try to put on a good show."

"I thought I did this to get even, not put on a show."

".....Shut up."

Then the ref called for the bell to be rung.

Marcellous was slowly making his way around the ring, with Drago doggedly pursuing him.

"Drago seems to be pretty aggressive in this fight."

"Indeed."

Drago had finally caught up with Marcellous, and cornered him into a ring post, where he began unloading vicious combos.

"Damn, Marcellous is getting beat."

"True. But if he's anything like his dad, he'll still come out on top."

The bell rang, but Drago still kept beating on Marcellous, who was bleeding at this point.

"Drago seems to be angry."

Marcellous then pushed Drago off of him and he gave Drago a punch to the body. Drago stated holding his abdomen.

"Drago seems hurt by that punch."

**End of Round 1**

**

* * *

**Vegeta was treating Marcellous' cut, while Raditz checked a few bruises.

"How are you doing out there?" asked Spencer.

"I see 3 of him." Marcellous weakly replied.

"Hit the one in the middle!" cheered Raditz.

"Right!" said Spencer, "Hit the one in the middle!"

Then the bell rang.

* * *

**Start of Round 2**

Marcellous went after Drago this time, and he started releasing a few jabs on Drago.

"Wow, Marcellous is explosive in this round!"

Drago caught one of his punches, and released a knockout punch. Marcellous flew back onto the ropes, and started resting on them.

"That's the one place you don't want to be when you're fighting this guy!"

Drago then started forcing his hands down on Marcellous' throat, choking him against the ropes.

"Isn't that illegal?"

Marcellous kicked Drago in the chest, pushing him off himself.

"That's illegal too!"

Drago then started throwing jabs, but Marcellous threw a knockout punch. Drago then started clutching his eye.

"My God! I don't believe it!"

"That last punch cut him open!"

With blood streaming down the left side of his face, Drago was just getting abused by Marcellous.

"He's been cut down to only 50 percent efficiency with that useless eye!"

However, Drago came back with an uppercut, and send Marcellous straight to the floor.

"1...."

"Get up!" shouted Vegeta.

"2..."

"3..."

"4..."

"5..."

"For the love of God!" shouted Vegeta as he went into the ring. He would have helped Marcellous up, but he tripped and knocked over the ref. With this added distraction, Marcellous was able to get up in time.

Then the bell rang.

**End of Round 2**

**

* * *

**Vegeta was looking after Marcellous' cut, with Raditz looking for bruises.

"You see?" asked Spencer, "You cut him! He's a man, just like you!"

Raditz squirted some water in Marcellous' mouth, which he then spat out.

"Ewwww....it's red now!"

Then the bell rang.

* * *

Marcellous now had his left eye completely shut, his right eye was now bleeding.

"What...what round is it?" he asked.

"Round 6. You're halfway there."

Marcellous gently moved Spencer aside, looking directly at Drago's post.

"Give him the stuff." said one of the cornermen.

"But-"

"Just give it to him."

Then another cornerman injected a syringe full of a mysterious treatment.

"Hey, look at that." said Marcellous.

"They're giving him steroids!" said Spencer.

"It doesn't matter. I'll just beat him twice as hard."

Then the bell rang.

* * *

**Start of Round 6**

Drago went after Marcellous, and started throwing many a jab.

"That's the way to do it, just come out and start swingin'!"

Then Drago gave Marcellous a right hook, Marcellous stumbled back from this. Drago gave Marcellous an uppercut, sending him to the ground. Then Drago spit on Marcellous.

"Woah, talk about disrespect.

Then Marcellous got back up. "Come on, knock me out."

Drago then gave Marcellous another uppercut.

"I said, knock me out!"

Drago gave Marcellous a left hook.

"My grandmother hits harder than that."

Marcellous started literally walking into Drago's punches.

"The whole world's watching, KNOCK ME OUT!"

"He's getting killed out there!" groaned Spencer.

"No, he's getting mad!" corrected Raditz.

Drago went for a knockout punch, put Marcellous caught it, and countered with his own knockout punch, sending Drago to the floor.

"I DON'T BELIEVE IT! FOR THE FIRST TIME IN HIS PROFESSIONAL CAREER, NICKOLAI DRAGO HAS BE FLOORED!"

The crowd then got on their feet, chanting Marcellous' name.

"This is impossible! This crowd has suddenly gone pro-Marcellous!"

"1....."

"2....."

"3...."

"4...."

"5..."

Then Drago got up.

The bell rang.

* * *

**End of Round 6**

"Dude, you did it!" cheered Raditz.

"This match is going down in the Hall Of Fame wing in the College!" said Vegeta

"That doesn't matter to me now." smiled Marcellous, "I'm gonna end this guy's career."

Then the bell rang.

* * *

Marcellous sat down in his corner, his whole face covered in blood, some of it dripping onto his chest. His opponent was in roughly the same condition.

"What round is it?" he weakly asked.

"Round 12, dude." said Spencer. "This is it, this is what you've been waiting for!"

"Finally. I'm about to crack."

The bell rang.

* * *

**Start of Round 12**

"Both these men have been going at each other since the start of this match, and now it's any man's ball game."

Drago weakly threw a punch a Marcellous, and Marcellous dodged. Marcellous came back with an uppercut, which hit Drago right in the jaw. Drago tried to gain the advantage, but Marcellous threw him into a corner, and started unleashing devastating blows.

"This guy is just unloading those piston-like right arms!"

Drago tried to get out of the corner, but Marcellous threw him back in, where he gave him a knockout punch, sending Drago to the floor.

"1..."

"2...."

"3..."

"4..."

"5..."

"6...."

"7...."

"You're gonna do it!" shouted Raditz.

"8...."

"9..."

"10!"

Marcellous fell to his feet in relief,while press and paparazzi alike rushed into the ring.

"Marcellous, how do you feel?" asked Rae.

"Never felt better!"

Then one of the reporters came up to Marcellous. "Sir, what do you have to say about tonight?"

"I overcame something that's been eating me alive on the inside..." he looked at his fallen enemy.

"I had the support of my friends...." he looked at his cornermen.

"And I had the two most important women in my life." he looked at his mother and Rae.

Then the ring announcer came up to Marcellous. "Marcellous, the whole boxing community has decided on something, and we want to give you this."

The announcer gave Marcellous a World Heavyweight Championship belt, but this one was different. The centerpiece was silver, and the belt itself was black, with white metal buttons. The centerpiece also had green jewels embedded in them.

"This is pretty nice and all....but what is it?" Marcellous asked.

"It's a personalized championship belt your father had during his first reign as champion."

"No way!"

"Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner by TKO, MARCELLOUS!" shouted the announcer as he raised Marcellous' hand up.

_**3 days later**_

2:45 PM – Dorm 666

Marcellous was alone in his dorm, looking at a newspaper clipping, along with the chain his father gave him. Then Vegeta came in.

"Dude, they're about to induct your match into the Hall of Fame wing!" he said.

"Seriously?!"

"Come check it out!"

Then Marcellous ran out, leaving the newspaper clipping behind. It was the cover page, with a picture of Marcellous' knockout punch to Drago, along with the headline.

_**Marcellous – The People's Champion.**_


	39. World Tournament Shenanigans

2:45 PM – Dorm 666

Vegeta was currently absent from the dorm, and Goku was reading a test booklet.

"Hey Raditz, can you test me?" Kakarot asked.

Raditz took the booklet. "Sure." Then he flipped to a random page. "Part carbon, part water, I am poison to the fishes. Many have falsely claimed my name, for I am the pause that refreshes. What am I?"

Then Goku looked around for a few seconds. ".....Soda!" he shouted as he walked over to the fridge.

"Oh my god!" shouted Raditz, "That's right!"

Then Vegeta came in, paper in hand. "Guys, the World Tournament is here!"

"No way!" shouted Goku, squeezing his soda can too hard and sending soda all over the kitchen.

"I'm not cleaning this up." said Raditz as he knocked on the bathroom door. "Hey Marcellous!"

"What?"

"The World Tournament is here!"

"NO WAY!" shouted Marcellous as he ran out of the bathroom, with a left black eye.

"Dude, you sure you can compete?"

Marcellous gently covered his left eye. "They sent out fliers about 2 weeks before the tournament, so it has enough time to heal."

"Well.." started Raditz, "Let's start training!"

* * *

_**2 months later.....**_

8:15 AM – World Tournament Area

The contestants were all members of the Hirokiwa College, since those pussies over at the Konoha College were too chicken to compete against Saiyans.

Marcellous was wearing his usual black,baggy pants with his gray, sleeveless T-Shirt. He was wearing his red waistband with Cell-era armor boots, along with some new red wrist tape. "Hey, look over there."

Goku was wearing his usual orange gi. "Isn't that Clare?"

Vegeta was wearing his Buu-era tights. "I thought this was an all-man tournament."

Clare had taken notice of the guys talking about her, and decided to talk back. "Can I help you?"

"How did you get in?" asked Marcellous, "This kind of fighting is too extreme for any regular woman."

Then Clare held him up by his shirt and kept him in mid-air. "Well I'm not any regular woman, AM I?" she shouted.

Then all the contestants looked at her. She let go of Marcellous, letting catch himself.

"Someone's a little pissed." Raditz whispered to Vegeta.

Clare looked at Raditz, who was wearing blue sweatpants with a black tank-top, which was accompanied by black military boots and white wristbands. "Can I help you?"

"You seem to be pissed."

Then Clare looked at Raditz's pants. "I see why you're still a virgin." Then she walked off.

Raditz was about to cry. "DON'T LOOK AT ME!" he shouted as he ran away.

8:30 AM – World Tournament Ring

The crowd was the same, but on this tournament, the ring was different. On each corner, there was a ring post. Each ring post had three turnbuckles, each covered. The ring posts held three ropes, one rope going from one turnbuckle to the one next to it. In short, the ring looked like a professional wrestling ring. The people cheered as the ring announcer came into the ring.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, are you ready for the WORLD TOURNAMENT?!" he shouted. "Anyway, we have decided to mix it up in this year's tournament. As you can see from the ring, this tournament will be **PRO WRESTLING THEMED!** This will be a gauntlet match."

With that said, all the contestants backstage looked surprised.

"Let me explain the rules! **NO EXTRATERRESTRIAL POWERS ARE ALLOWED, AND WEAPONS OF ANY KIND RESULT IN AN IMMEDIATE DISQUALIFICATION.** Contestants backstage drew lots, each having a number from 1 to 25. Entrants 1 and 2 will start off the match. When 1 contestant is eliminated, another will come in and take his place. Contestants are eliminated when they are removed from the ring, and **ANY PART** of their bodies touches the ground. After all 25 contestants have come in, the last one standing is the winner and will receive **50,000 ZENI!**"

Then the whole crowd cheered.

Goku looked a little nervous, but then he felt a hand touch his shoulder. He turned around, and saw ChiChi, along with Radiza, Rae, and his father.

"Guys? What are you doing here?" he asked.

"We came to see you guys fight, of course." Radiza said.

"And to cheer Clare on!" Rae added.

"Dad?" asked Raditz, "What are you doing here?"

"My wife forced me here against my will." Bardock droned. "But, I'll get to see my favorite students fight."

"We have a private box in the upper part of the building, so be sure to put on a good fight!" Rae said.

"Don't worry, I will." said Marcellous.

Then ChiChi stared at Goku. "We're watching you. Seriously."

Goku then silently and calmly back away.

A voice came on the loudspeaker. "Will contestants 1 and 2 please report to the ring!"

Then Vegeta ran to the ring. "NUMBER 2 RULES!!!"

As he got to the ring. He noticed his opponent.

It was Table, his brother, who was dressed just like his big brother.

"Give it up for TABLE AND VEGETA!" the announcer shouted.

The crowd cheered.

"LET THE GAMES BEGIN!"


	40. Let The Games Begin!

The remaining guys were sitting backstage, with the remaining contestants.

"Well, this should be interesting..." Marcellous said as he looked at the ring.

"Guys, I gotta change my clothes." Raditz whined as he scratched himself.

"Why?"

"They're itchy!"

"Go ahead, you don't come out until later in the tournament."

Meanwhile, Vegeta and Table were stretching a little before the match, and then the bell rang.

Table charged his brother with all his force, but to no avail. Vegeta moved out of the way, sending him over the top rope and out of the competition.

Bardock and the girls were watching from their private box. "Wow, that was pretty fast."

**Entry 3- Turles**

Turles ran into the ring, wearing black,baggy pants, and some white wrist tape.

Vegeta scoffed as Turles tried to throw a punch, but somehow missed horribly and punched himself in the face.

"How does that even happen?" asked ChiChi.

As Turles was checking his nose, Vegeta wasted no time and kicked him in the gut, and then he delivered a Stone Cold Stunner.

"You can take a dude's head off with that one!" Bardock remarked.

With Turles out cold, Vegeta simply wheeled him under the bottom rope.

**Entry 4- Nappa**

Nappa slowly walked into the ring, wearing his usual black thong, and his Saiyan era boots.

Vegeta landed a few punches on Nappa, but to no avail. Nappa grabbed Vegeta by the throat and suspended him in the air, before slamming him down.

"What a sickening chokeslam!" Bardock exclaimed.

"Hey Jim Ross, you want mayo on your bread?" asked Radiza from the kitchen...of the private box.

Nappa literally threw Vegeta over the top rope.

**Entry 5- Krillin**

As Krillin slowly walked into the ring, Nappa showed considerable disdain at his opponent. Krillin was visibly scared, Nappa easily put Krillin in a Powerbomb position. As he ran toward the rope to dump Krillin over it, Krillin grabbed the top rope, which meant that force and momentum sent Nappa straight up and over the rope.

"I can't believe it!" shouted Bulma.

"I know!" said Bardock. "Radiza, this sandwich is delicious!"

**Entry 6- Raditz**

Now Raditz came out, wearing red spandex pants with white broken hearts on them. His black boots had miraculously changed to white, matching his wristbands.

Krillin had actually started to fight now, and was actually doing pretty good. As Raditz was going to run toward him, Krillin tripped Raditz, causing him to kneel down and have his head and arms rest on the top rope.

"It's time to call San Francisco!" Rae exclaimed.

Krillin ran back toward the opposite rope, and with the added momentum, he ran near Raditz, and he looked like he was going to dive out of the ring through the bottom and middle ropes. But instead, he grabbed both ropes and locked his kness together,thus swinging and hitting Raditz in the face.

"That was a beautiful 619!" Bardock said.

While Raditz was distracted, Krillin climbed to the top turnbuckle on a post nearby, and delivered a Frog Splash. Raditz, however had caught Krillin in mid air, and dumped him out of the ring.

"That's my Heartbreak Kid!" Radiza shouted.

**Entry 7- Broly**

As Broly came out with his usual clothes, minus the arm guards, Raditz pondered what to do. As Broly wandered closer, Raditz delivered a huge Knife Edge chop to Broly's chest. As Broly turned around to hold his chest in pain, Raditz began to check his boot. As Broly turned around, Raditz gave him a Superkick straight to the chin.

"Good Lord, Sweet Chin Music!" shouted ChiChi.

As Broly fell backwards, Raditz tried to push him out of the ring, but he got up too fast. Raditz went for another Sweet Chin Music, but Broly caught in and sent him out of the ring.

**Entry 8- Spencer**

Then Spencer came out, wearing the exact same clothes as The Undertaker.

"I never knew he was emo." said Bulma.

As Broly tried to punch Spencer, Spencer looked like he was going to give Broly a scoop slam, but he held him in a piledriver position.

"Oh God!" shouted Rae, "A Tombstone Piledriver!"

Spencer then abruptly fell to his knees, thus driving Broly's forehead into the ground. With the behemoth out cold, Spencer simply kicked him until he went under the bottom rope.

**Entry 9- Marcellous**

As Marcellous ran into the ring, Spencer began to pace back and forth. As Marcellous punched him, Spencer grabbed his arm and led both of them over to a nearby turnbuckle. As he climbed the post, he started tightwalking on the top rope, all while holding Marcellous' arm.

"It's time to go Old School!" Bardock shouted.

Then Spencer jumped down and hit Marcellous in the back of the neck, sending him down.

With Marcellous down, Spencer went over to a nearby turnbuckle and took the cover off, exposing the steel ring holding the ropes in place. Spencer then picked up Marcellous and led him over to the exposed turnbuckle. As he was about to ram Marcellous' face into the ring, Marcellous drove his elbow straight into Spencer's abdomen. As Spencer turned around to hold his stomach, Marcellous got in position for something. Just as Spencer turned around, Marcellous delivered a lifting side slam.

"What a body slam!" said Rae.

"That's not just any body slam!" shouted Bardock, "That was a ROCK BOTTOM!"

With both of the tired and on the floor, Marcellous rolled onto his back and did a kip-up. The crowd cheered as Marcellous did The People's Eyebrow. (A/N: For those who don't know, The People's Eyebrow is that oh-so-special stare Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson used to give the crowd/opponents/interviewers/commentaters.)

"I think we know what's coming next!" Bulma cheered.

Marcellous then kicked Spencer's legs close to his body, and stood over him for a few seconds. Then he ripped off his shirt and threw it into the crowd. Marcellous ran over to the ropes on the left and ran back,jumping over Spencer and running to the ropes on the right, as he ran to Spencer's head, he went for a leg drop, but all of a sudden he retracted his leg and pulled out his elbow, which went into Spencer's chest.

"The People's Elbow!" shouted Radiza, "Can you feel the electricity in the air?"

As Spencer got up, he rested on the ropes, holding his rib and unaware of his surroundings. Marcellous then bounced off the opposite ropes and gave Spencer a Cactus Clothesline, sending both the Phenom and the People's Champion over the top rope.

**Entry 10/11- Clare/Goku**

As Clare and Goku both ran into the the ring, Goku had a few doubts about fighting a girl. Clare saw this as no problem as she trapped Goku in a corner and started punching him repeatedly. She then moved away from him, opting instead to give him a Death Glare. Goku then slowly and calmly stepped out of the ring, thus eliminating himself.

(A/N: I'm just gonna skip to about the end of the tournament, because I honestly can't think of any more characters to place in the tournament that I've already introduced.)

5:45 PM – World Tournament

The sun was finally starting to go down, and it caused the sky to turn orange, a sight everyone loves to see.

Clare had just powerbombed a generic Frieza solider, and rolled him out of the ring. Then the next entrant came out. Believe me, this is one for the textbooks.

"What, that can't be!" shouted Bardock, "It's impossible for him to be here!"

"We thought he was gone!" shouted Rae.

"It's.....It's....."

**Entry 25- Trunks?!**

It was true. Trunks ran into the ring, wearing his usual black tank top and baggy pants, with his yellow and black boots. This time, a halo adorned his head.

Clare scowled as she saw her opponent. As soon as he ran into the ring, she gave him a Chokeslam. This was followed up an Atomic Leg Drop. When he got up, Trunks was greeted by a Rock Bottom.

Clare then picked him up and delivered a Stone Cold Stunner,which was then followed up by another Atomic Leg Drop.

"Damn, Clare's layin' the Smack down!" said Bardock.

With Trunks out cold, Clare quite literally tossed him out of the ring.

Then the Tournament Announcer rung the bell, ending the match.

"Here is your winner, and the recipient of the cash prize, CLARE!!"

As some random dude handed Clare the money, the Announcer walked up to her.

"Miss, what do you plan on doing with all that money?" asked the Announcer.

"I'M GOING ON A VACATION!!!"

Then the whole crowd started cheering.

(Backstage)

While most of the people were going home, the Guys and Girls were chatting.

"Well, you guys did pretty good." said Bardock. "I liked the People's Elbow, though."

Marcellous sighed. "I could have done better."

Rae hugged Marcellous. "I think that was awesome."

Then Marcellous saw Spencer walking by, still holding his rib. "Spencer!"

He turned around. "What?"

"Yeah...sorry about the whole People's Elbow thing there, I guess I got a little too crazy." then Marcellous started holding his shoulder.

"I guess I went a little too extreme with the Old School." Spencer said as he extended his hand.

Marcellous saw this gesture, and shook Spencer's hand.

Then Table walked up to his brother. "Hey dude, nice match."

Then Vegeta noticed something in his brother's hand. "...Is that a bible?"

"Yeah, you see, I changed my faith because God is-"

"Oh you talk about your Bible, and you talk about your John 3:16..." Vegeta started, "**WELL VEGETA 3:16 SAYS I JUST WHIPPED YOUR ASS!"**

Then everyone in the building started cheering.

"..DON'T LOOK AT ME!!!" Table shouted as he ran out of the building.

Then Raditz noticed Trunks trying to make a sneaky escape. "Hey, asshole."

"...Yeah?"

"You're supposed to be six feet under." Spencer said. "Explain why you're _not_ six feet under."

"Or else what?"

Marcellous grabbed a wooden 2x4. "This becomes your first tattoo."

"Well.." Trunks started, "By my halo, you can tell I'm already dead. I won the Other World Tournament, and my prize was that I got to spend a week on Earth whenever I wanted to. I chose now, to see how strong you guys got."

Marcellous was still holding the 2x4. "You do realize that we still haven't forgotten what happened while you were alive, right?"

"...Yeah."

"....5 second head start."


	41. Fine Dining Fiasco!

2:45 PM – Dorm 666 (Bathroom)

Trunks was tied down to a chair, with Spencer sitting in a chair opposite him.

"This is stupid, there's no point in-"

Then Spencer slapped Trunks. "You talk when the Godfather tells you to talk, comprende?"

Trunks growled. "Yeah, I comprende."

Spencer had a facepalm. "No, you comprendo. I comprende. Comprende?"

"Comprendo."

"Why are you here?"

"I told you, I won the Otherworld Tournament!"

"LIES!" shouted Spencer as he threw Trunks into the bathtub, which was full of water.

"What do you mean, lies?"

Then Spencer snapped his fingers. Upon the snap, Marcellous and Vegeta came out of the closet.

"We got a dickhead."

"Damn, he's ignorant." Marcellous sighed as he plugged in a toaster.

"What's that for?" Trunks asked.

"SHUT UP!" Vegeta blasted as he hit Trunks with a baseball bat.

"I'll ask you one more time..." Spencer started, "Where did you come from?"

"I told you, I-"

"THE PRICE IS WRONG!!!!" shouted Marcellous as he took the toaster and threw it into the water. Upon contact with the water, the toaster shorted out, which electrified the water and shocked Trunks enough to stop his non-beating heart. This little mishap resulted in a multitude of colors, and the lights being blown out.

"Heh heh....purdey....." laughed Vegeta.

Then Goku walked in. "Hey guys, Headmaster Frieza wants us!"

3:00 PM – Headmaster Frieza's office

The guys of Dorm 666 (and Spencer) were in Headmaster Frieza's office, along with the girls of Dorm 333.

Then Headmaster Frieza spoke up. "You 9 students are probably wondering why I've called you here." he started, "I have hand-picked you 9 because I have a very special task that me and the rest of my cabinet believe only you can handle."

"How do you have a cabinet?" asked Radiza, "Only the President can have a cabinet."

"Why are humans getting swine influenza?" asked Headmaster Frieza, "Nothing makes sense anymore."

"Well, humans are getting swine influenza due to the transmission of-"

"Shut up, Marcellous."

"You're just upset because your wife ran away with your psychiatrist."

Headmaster Frieza gasped. "How did you find out?!"

"My dad told me."

"Ah, I see. How is your dad anyway?"

"He's been dead for 3 months!"

"He has?"

"Yes!" shouted Vegeta, "I frickin' tripped over 100 bricks while we went to Russia for revenge!"

"You went to Russia?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I gave Nickolai Drago his first defeat."

"..You box?"

".....Just shut up."

"Just Dance!" sang Raditz, "It'll be okay, do-do-do-do........."

Then everyone looked at Raditz.

"What?" he asked, "It's a good song!"

"Anyway...." Headmaster Frieza started, "I need you all to do a favor for one of my relatives."

"Do we have to mow your brother's lawn again?" asked Rae.

"Nah, he paid someone to do that."

"That's not fair!" shouted Goku.

"Dude, did you ever realize how stupid you are?" asked Vegeta.

"Did you ever realize that you're short?"

".....SHUT UP!"

"ANYWAY.....back to the main topic." Headmaster Frieza said. "My Uncle Vinny is out of town, and he owns a fine dining Italian restaurant."

"What does this have to do with us?" asked ChiChi.

"I've hand-picked you guys to run it for one night."

"What?" asked Bulma, "What did we do to deserve that?"

"Nothing, I just felt that you could handle the job."

"What do we get if we do this?" asked Marcellous.

"...I'll let you skip the next exam, on which each of you will get a hundred."

"Yes!" shouted Raditz, "I don't have to take the Physics exam!"

6:00 PM – Dorm 666

They guys were just getting ready to go to the restaurant, and Vegeta was complaining about having to go... "Cooperate".

"This isn't fair!" Vegeta complained as he wore a white dress shirt with black dress pants, with a red tie and black shoes.

Marcellous was wearing the exact same thing. "You think you have it bad?" he asked, "I have to wear a fuckin' apron!"

"Well, at least I run the bar...." Vegeta laughed, "You're the only male waiter!"

"SHUT UP!"

Raditz was wearing the same thing as Marcellous and Vegeta. "Man, why did you guys have to copy what I was wearing?"

Then Goku walked in, all of them wearing the same thing. "What is this, Copycat day?"

Then Table walked in, now that everyone was dressed the same. "Hey guys!"

Vegeta sprang up. "What are you doing here?!"

"Headmaster Frieza put me in charge of the bar!"

Before Vegeta could react, all the Members of Dorm 333 walked in, including Spencer and Trunks walked in.

"This this is itchy!" shouted Spencer as he started scratching himself.

"Asshole!" shouted Goku, "What are you doing?"

"Somebody has to wash dishes, am I right?" asked Trunks.

"Okay..." started ChiChi, "There is NO way I'm doing this!"

7:00 PM – Olive Garden

"Welcome to Olive Garden, how may I help you?" asked ChiChi, with a smile on her face.

"Table for 3, please." a woman said, as she held her baby girl in one hand, the other holding her little son's hand.

"I'm sorry, but we're currently full."

"How long is it for a wait?"

"About 15 minutes, at most."

"Okay."

"Here you go!" then ChiChi handed the woman one of those flashing light things that vibrate when your table is ready.

(Kitchen)

"Okay, are we all ready to do this?" asked Bulma, as she got stuff together to make a salad.

"I'm sure as hell ready!" Spencer shouted as eyed a cut of meat, a sledgehammer in his hand.

"You know you use those for concrete, right?" Trunks asked.

"What do you know about meat, you're washing dishes!"

Then Trunks shut up.

Raditz got a few soup ingredients together to make soups and garnishes. "Wait, who's cooking the meat?"

"What are you trying to say?" asked Spencer, "I'm only good for hitting meat with a stick?"

"But you have a sledgehammer!" Trunks said.

"Shut up!" then Spencer threw the sledgehammer at Trunks, knocking him out.

"Anyone have any garbage?" asked Goku as he held up a trash bag.

"We haven't even stared service yet!"

Then Rae came up to the window with a paper in hand. "Okay, I need 1 custom appetizer with clams, fusilli, and the works!"

(Dining Room)

Radiza was currently waiting a table, "Hello, my name is Radiza and I'll be your server tonight." she said, "Can I start you off with something?"

Then one of the two dudes at the table spoke up. "Yeah, I'd like a keg of beer and 15 minutes with you..."

"I'm not sure that's on the menu."

"It doesn't have to be." Then he started checking Radiza out.

"Sir, are you alright?"

"Why don't you take my temperature?"

Then Marcellous walked up. "Is there something I can help you with?"

"Yeah," said the man, "You can fuck off!"

Then the other dude tugged the man's coat. "Dude, do you have any idea who that is?"

"I don't give a shit!"

"That's Takeo "The Terrible"'s son!"

"And I care....why?"

Marcellous smiled. "Why don't you follow me?"

"..Okay."

Then the dude and Marcellous left.

"Marcellous?" asked ChiChi, "Where are you going with that customer?"

Then Marcellous got into a fighting stance.

"...Good luck with that."

Then Marcellous led the dude out back to a deserted warehouse, wearing a usual gang hung out.

Then the gang leader saw the two. "Marcelo?"

Marcellous started speaking a different language. "Luis, vacía un lugar. Yo gotta coloca el abofetea hacia abajo en este asno."

Then two gang members began clearing a spot. "Dele dos disparos para mí." Luis said as Marcellous led the dude over to a spot.

"What are we doing?" the dude asked.

"You wanna hit on waitresses in a fine dining restaurant?" Marcellous asked as he rolled up his sleeves.

"Yeah, as a matter of fact, I do!"

"Wrong answer, man."

8:15 PM – Olive Garden

ChiChi currently had her hands full, as the waiting customers were starting to get rowdy.

"I've been waiting for half an hour, where's my table?"

"It's coming!"

"I've been here for an hour, I want my table!"

"You'll get it!"

"That's it, I'm leaving!"

"DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH THAT DOOR!"

Then the customer touched the handle.

At that very second, ChiChi jumped over her podium and started beating up the customer.

(Bar)

Vegeta was serving one side of the bar, and Table was serving the other.

Then Vegeta went to get something, but he bumped into Table. "Watch it, punk."

Table got a little frustrated. "What?"

"You heard me."

"Why do you have to be so mean to me?"

"Why are you so short?" Vegeta asked, "...Damn, that felt good to ask someone, other than myself."

Then one of the patrons stood up. "Where's my damn beer?!"

Then Vegeta threw a bottle at him, knocking him out.

(Dining Room)

"Excuse me, waitress?" asked one of the customers.

"Can I help you?" Rae asked as she turned around.

"Yeah, there's a butt of lettuce in my salad."

"And I have some bones in my soup."

Rae took both the plates. "I'll take these back to the kitchen, and have them made again, Okay?" Then Rae walked back to the kitchen.

(Kitchen)

"Oh my god!" shouted Raditz, "Someone help me!"

"What's wrong?" asked Trunks.

"My soup's on fire!"

"How is that even possible?" Bulma asked.

"I DON'T KNOW, THAT'S THE SCARY THING!"

Trunks gave himself a facepalm....but he forgot his hand was covered in soap. "OH GOD, IT BURNS!"

"I know what to do!" Goku shouted as he threw a pan of....hot,boiling water toward Trunks.

Trunks screamed in agony as the water burned him, and he fell backwards into a trash can.

(Dining Room)

Most of the customers were beginning to leave...until something happened.

"Hey...." started one of the customers, "This filet mignon is delicious!"

"I can't get enough of the chicken scampi!"

"Can I get 5 beef rollatinis to go?"

"This food..." asked Rae, where is it coming from?!"

"I don't know!" said Radiza, "But it's working!"

(Kitchen)

"Who made this food?" asked Spencer.

Then Bulma saw Goku stationed at a pot. "Goku!"

Goku yelped as his name was called, and he dropped his wooden spoon.

Trunks (still in a trash can) waddled over and tasted some of the pot's contents. "Goku, this is delicious!"

Raditz tasted some. "Kakarot, what did you do?"

"I just put some stuff in the sauce until it tasted good!"

"Oh my God!" shouted Bulma, "Goku, you can cook!"

(Bar)

Vegeta and Table were still arguing.

"Why can't you just accept me?!"

"I've never been accepted!"

"You should break away from that chain!"

"I-I can't!"

"Why not?!"

"Because....Because...."

"Vegeta....are you scared?"

"I've never been scared." Vegeta mumbled as he turned away.

Table smiled. "You ARE scared!"

"No I'm not!"

"Are too!"

"Are not!"

"Are too!"

"Are too!"

"Are not!"

"ARE TOO!"

"OKAY! I'M SCARED OF REJECTION!" Vegeta shouted, "ARE YOU HAPPY?!"

Table had a few tears in his eyes as he extended his hands. "Brother!"

Vegeta did the same. "Brother!"

Then they both started hugging, and crying on each other's shoulders.

One of the patrons started crying. "That's so sweet!"

Then they all started crying.

Then Marcellous walked back in, with a little blood on his hands.

"Marcellous, what did you do to that poor guy?" asked ChiChi?

"I was just takin' care of business."

ChiChi smiled as Marcellous walked away. "Who would have thought....."

Then the waiting customers smelt the food coming from the kitchen.

"CHAAAAARGE!!!!!" shouted one of the customers as the all ran into the Dining Room.

11:00 PM – Dining Room

The guys n' gals were just relaxing, after a hard night's work.

"Damn, today was chaotic." Bulma sighed as she relaxed in a chair.

Radiza took a breadstick. "Marcellous, what did you do to that guy that tried to flirt with me?"

Raditz stood up. "SOMEONE TRIED TO FLIRT WITH YOU?!"

"Relax, dude." Marcellous said, "I took care of it."

"Has anyone seen Goku?" asked ChiChi. "I wanna tell him about the great food!"

"ChiChi...Goku made the great food." Spencer said.

"NO WAY!" shouted ChiChi as she ran into the kitchen.

"Has anyone seen Vegeta and Table?" asked Marcellous, "I heard them bickering."

Then Rae pointed to Vegeta and Table, who were still in the middle of the bar, hugging and crying.

"....Talk about Bro-mance."


	42. DX Shenanigans

12:15 PM – Dorm 666

They guys and Table were just hanging around, being the educated scholars that they led their parents to believe them to be.

"Poopy Head!" shouted Goku.

"Moron Face!" retorted Vegeta.

"Stinky Poo!"

"Pee-pee Butt!"

"Okay, what happened?" asked Marcellous.

"Kaka-pants spilled grape soda on the couch and it won't come out!"

"Veggie-burger pushed me!"

"...You're 21 and Veggie-Burger is the best insult you can come up with?"

"HA! I'm 22, which means I'm better than Kaka-pants!"

While the two were arguing, Marcellous simply flipped the couch cushion over, thus concealing the grape juice stain.

Then Raditz walked in, a few letters in hand. "I got the results for the Physics test last week."

Then Marcellous opened his letter. "I got a 69?!"

Goku opened his letter. "Lucky you, I got a 45."

Vegeta opened his letter. "...He didn't even grade mine."

Marcellous looked at the letter. "I don't think 'over 9000' is a valid answer."

Vegeta took his test back. "There's no way that can be right!"

Raditz opened his. "I got a 2?!"

Marcellous laughed. "You're lucky we get 2 points for spelling our names right."

Goku gasped. "You mean my name stopped me from getting a 47?!"

"Table, What did you get?" asked Raditz.

".......70."

"Impossible." Marcellous said, "I'm smarter than most of the teachers here, and I got a 69."

"Hey...." started Goku, "Didn't Headmaster Frieza say we had immunity from this test after running that Olive Garden?"

"You're right!" Marcellous said, "He lied to us!"

Vegeta started crying. "I feel so betrayed!"

Table extended his arms. "Brother!"

"Brother!"

Then Table and Vegeta began man-hugging and crying.

Marcellous,Goku,and Raditz slowly and calmly walked out the door.

12:15 PM – Headmaster Frieza's office

"Can I help you gents?" asked Headmaster Frieza as he nonchalantly started making himself some coffee.

"That Physics test last week, you said we didn't have to take it." Raditz said.

"That I did."

"Yet....here in my hand....lies a 69!" Marcellous dramatized.

"Simple physiology." then Headmaster Frieza sat in his chair. "I needed you to do something, and I lied to get you to do it."

"But that's not fair!!!!" whined Goku as he jumped up and down. "Attica! Attica! Attica!"

Headmaster Frieza glared at Goku.

"...Attica?"

You shouldn't have lied, man." said Marcellous as he cracked his knuckles. "Now I have to knock you out."

"You do that...." Headmaster Frieza grabbed a microphone. "The whole campus will find out about the Dodgeball incident."

Marcellous gasped. "You wouldn't."

"...I would."

Then the trio walked out.

2:45 PM – Dorm 666

Dorm 666,Spencer,and Table were hanging out, discussing Headmaster Frieza's dickery.

"You guys are right." Spencer said, "Frieza really did douche us."

"He needs some payback." said Table.

Then Goku pulled out a white sleeveless tee.

Marcellous groaned. "Put that thing away..." he whined. "The Black Point Hair Society was an embarrassment."

"...The WHAT?" asked Table.

Goku smiled. "What if....we formed a GANG to get back at Headmaster Frieza?!"

"I like that idea." Raditz said.

Vegeta stood up. "Quick!" he shouted, "TO HOT TOPIC!"

Then Dorm 666 and Table ran out the door.

Spencer smiled as he pulled out his cell phone and dialed a number. "Hey Socko, bring the goods."

9:23 PM – Dorm 666

The guys had finished shopping, and had come back to the dorm, to see Spencer missing.

"Where is he?" asked Vegeta.

Marcellous looked over to Dorm 999, where he saw an assortment of lights from under the door and he heard party music blasting through speakers.

"...I never knew he was the party type." said Table.

"Well...." started Goku, "I suggest we put these gang outfits together."

11:45 PM – Dorm 666.

The guys had finally put together some outfits, while Spencer was still partying his ass off.

Marcellous was wearing black combat boots with black jeans, accompanied by a black, sleeved muscle shirt. He was wearing black fingerless gloves, and black sunglasses.

"You look awesome, Marcellous." said Table.

Marcellous slapped Table. "There is no Marcellous!" he shouted, "Only X-Pac!"

Goku was wearing black Converse sneakers with black jeans and a black vest. He was wearing black armbands with black sunglasses.

X-Pac turned to Goku. "OGD, can I waste this Jabroni?"

"OGD" turned to face Marcellous. "No, X-Pac." he said, "T-Lo is a needed member of our team, no matter how stupid he may be."

X-Pac grunted as he turned away from T-Lo.

Then Vegeta walked in. He was wearing black boots and black jeans. His black T-shirt had ripped off sleeves, and his left elbow had an elbow pad, which was accompanied by the black sunglasses.

T-Lo was dressed the same as his brother. "Road Dog!" he shouted, "Why did you copy me?!"

X-Pac laughed. "Hey OGD! It's Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Short!"

Then OGD joined in on the laughing. "Good one, X-Pac!" he laughed. "Maybe you're not as useless and pathetic as I give you credit for!"

Then X-Pac stopped laughing.

T-Lo was fuming. "Road Dog!" he fumed, "You stupid cunt! Why can't you ever do anything right?!"

Road Dog was about to cry as he took his left elbow pad and put it on his right. "D-Does this (sniff) m-make it any (hic) b-better? (sob)?"

T-Lo's eye twitched. "Bitch."

Road Dog began to grovel. "Thank You!"

Then Raditz came in. He was wearing black Converse sneakers with black jeans and a black vest with a few rips and tears in it. His black sunglasses were accompanied by some black wrist tape, and his hair was in a ponytail. Raditz had also taken a few strands of hair and pulled them over his Widow's Peak, forming some bangs.

OGD turned to Raditz. "HBK, you got the stuff?"

"HBK" pulled out a few jackets. "You bet I do."

These were no ordinary jackets, they were black, and leather. The interesting thing, however, was that they each had a green "DX" spray painted on the back. (**A/N: **If you don't know what the DX looks like, look up "DX Spray paint" on Google.)

Each member took a jacket and put it on.

"I hope Headmaster Frieza is ready....." said Road Dog.

"He better get ready.....to SUCK IT!!!" shouted OGD.

Then all the members pointed their arms down and sideways, making and "X" over their crotch regions.

"Wait...." said X-Pac, "What do we call ourselves?"

"...That's a damn good question." said T-Lo.

OGD started. "From this point on...the Black Point Hair Society shall be known as.....**D-GENERATION X!!!!!**"

7:45 AM – Headmaster Frieza's office

Headmaster Frieza was casually walking down to his office, like a regular day. He put the key in the doorknob, twisted the lock, and opened the door. However, Hurricane Katrina payed his office a visit.

Headmaster Frieza looked around his office in shock. Papers everywhere, plants broken, pictures smashed, degrees and doctorates in piles of ashes, put something hurt him the most.

"It can't be!" shouted Headmaster Frieza as he ran over to the side of his desk. His worst fear had come true.

Someone had broken his coffee maker.

Headmaster Frieza began to cry. "Who could have been so cruel?!?!"

Then he looked over to a wall.

A big "DX" had been spray painted in green.

8:00 – Science classroom

Class had not yet begun, as Headmaster Frieza had pulled an immediate conference. As such, the students were completely goofing off.

"No way!" said Spencer, "You really trashed his office?"

"And I took a bat to his coffee maker!" Vegeta proudly explained.

"No, not you...." reminded Marcellous. "Road Dog destroyed the coffee maker."

"Oh, you mean the same way X-Pac burned all his degrees?" Table asked.

Marcellous laughed. "Yeah, like that!"

Then a random student ran in. "Guys! Check it out!" he shouted, "D-Generation X is robbing a jewelery store!"

All the students except Dorm 666, Spencer, and Table crowded up against the windows to see.

"That's not possible!" shouted Goku.

"But it is!" Vegeta checked the window.

"We gotta stop them!" Marcellous said, "Whoever they are!"

"TO THE DORM!" Vegeta shouted as the guys (minus Spencer) ran up to Dorm 666.

Spencer thought, then he smiled. "..It couldn't hurt to do a little....house cleaning.."

10:00 AM – Warehouse

"DX" was hanging out in some abandoned warehouse, having avoided any possible captors.

HBK was checking out some diamonds. "Damn, these will make a fortune on eBay!"

X-Pac was trying on a necklace. "Does this gold make my butt look fat?"

The OGD whacked X-Pac over the head with a solid gold pimp cane. "Shut up."

"Yes, master."

Then the guys burst through the door.

Road Dog gasped "Company!"

X-Pac slapped T-Lo. "Don't just stand there, get some chairs!"

T-Lo scrambled to find sitting material.

"Cut the charade." said Marcellous, "Who are you?"

OGD stood up. "WE ARE-"

"**IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO YOU ARE!!!**"shouted Marcellous, "The fact of the matter is this-"

"The power of love with always conquer over the forces of evil!" shouted Table. "Stop this unlawful and felonious act before we are forced to-"

Then Table got blasted out of the warehouse and into a nearby river, which carried the unconscious nutcase away to parts unknown.

"...It's about time someone did that." said Goku.

"Anyway....." HBK said. "You guys are crusin' for a brusin'."

"Okay...." said Vegeta, "I haven't heard someone say that since the 70's."

Then all the guys got into a fighting stance. "You know what this means, right?" asked X-Pac.

"Overdone fight sequence?"

"The price is right, sir."


	43. Gang Fight!

All the guys got in a fighting stance.

"Let's go!" shouted Vegeta. "I shall avenge my brother from another mother....literally."

"Wait...." started Road Dog, "We can't just have a 5-on-4 gang fight! Someone has to sit out!"

T-Lo grabbed a chair and sat down. "I'll do it, you sluts."

"X-Pac! AWAY!" shouted X-Pac as he grabbed Marcellous and flew off to some part of the warehouse.

OGD pointed his pimp cane at Goku. "Pikachu, I choose you!"

Road Dog looked at Vegeta. "You copied my hairstyle! SO YOU MUST DIE!!!"

HBK posed Raditz glared at him. "Are you ready to go one-on-one with The Great One?"

Meanwhile, Marcellous and X-Pac where having a stare-down.

"Sooo...." X-Pac started, "How have you been lately?"

"Meh, I could be better."

Then X-Pac grabbed a chair. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I'm not so sure....."

"I have tea and cookies!" X-Pac exclaimed as he pulled out a tray of tea and cookies.

"..I would like that."

OGD and Goku were about to rip each other apart.

"It's a lie!" shouted Goku.

"You idiot, it's totally true!" OGD exclaimed.

"Tupac is dead!"

"He's not dead! He's hiding in Mexico!"

"Any proof?"

"After Biggie Mac died, Tupac released an album with "R.I.P Biggie"".

Then OGD and Goku got into a fist-fight.

Road Dog and Vegeta were staring each other down.

"Let me ask you...." Vegeta started, "Does a person like yourself experience nocturnal emission?"

"...Excuse me?" asked Road Dog.

"Sorry, I screwed up." Vegeta explained. "Does a person like yourself experience fear...

…..of nocturnal emission?"

"SAY WHAAAAAT?"

"Can we fight now?"

"I have just one question." Road Dog started, "How do you get your hair to stay up like that?"

"It's simple." explained Vegeta, "All you need is some shaving cream and penicillin."

HBK and Raditz were getting into fighting stances.

"Before we begin...." Raditz's started, "I have but one question for you."

"What might that be?"

"What does HBK stand for?"

"Heartbreak Kid."

"Why?"

"I have a few...lady friends."

"But that means you'd have to be a sex addict!"

"..I think that's pretty obvious."

"But I'm a virgin!" Raditz shouted, "I MUST KILL YOU!"

Back at the Barnyard, X-Pac and Marcellous were sharing a sweet embrace.

Marcellous was crying on X-Pac's shoulder. "It's just (sniff) so h-hard having to (sniff) live without a p-paternal figure! (sob)"

X-Pac patted Marcellous on the back. "It's okay, It's okay. It'll all be fine in the end."

* * *

9:00 AM – Dorm 999

While no one was in the dorm, a stereo was on. As a solo played, no one came out. The solo played again, and Spencer slid into the room, wearing nothing but a white dress shirt,boxers, and sunglasses. (OMG CLEVAR OOC MOMENT)

"Just take those old records off the shelf.....I'll sit and listen to 'em by myself.....Today's music ain't got the same soul......I like that old time rock n' roll!" Spencer lip-synced with the song, rocking out on air guitar.

Then Krillin walked in the door. "Hey guys, I just wanted to borrow some-"

"Don't try to take me to a disco......You'll never even get me out on the floor....In ten minutes I'll be late for the door......I like that old time rock n' roll!" Then Spencer turned around, to see a very frightened Krillin.

"W-What are you...."

Spencer nonchalantly turned off the stereo. "Of course you know.....now I have to kill you."

"You're joking, right?" asked Krillin, "....Hey! What are doing with that-AHHHHHH!!!!!"

* * *

Meanwhile, HBK and Raditz were having a drinking contest.

Raditz scoffed as he downed a whole bottle. "Is this the best you can do?" he asked.

Then HBK pulled out a bottle of whiskey. "Let's see if you can handle the big boys."

Raditz took a little sip of whiskey, and then he passed out.

"Dude, are you okay?"

Then Raditz clumsily got up and snatched the whiskey bottle, downing the whole thing.

"Dude....are you.....drunk?

Then Raditz drunkenly charged at HBK, only to trip about a few inches away from him.

"Heyyyyyy......" Raditz slurred, "YOU TRIPPED ME!!!" (**A/N**: HELL YEAH, Drunken Raditz is back.)

Road Dog and Vegeta were doing some dude-spa time.

Road Dog had a towel wrapped around his head. "I hope this works!"

Vegeta began to untie the towel. "Now your hair will be like mine!"

Road Dog grabbed a mirror. "OH MY GOD!" he shouted, "I'm bald!"

Vegeta chuckled. "I guess I added a little to much penicillin!"

Road Dog tackled Vegeta. "I WILL KILL YOU!!!"

OGD and Goku were rolling on the ground, them fists a-flyin'.

"TUPAC IS DEAD!"

"HE'S IN MEXICO!"

"DEAD!"

"MEXICO!"

"DEAD!"

"MEXICO!"

X-Pac was throwing a few punches at Marcellous.

"Come on, Street Fighter!" X-Pac taunted, "Your dad is crying right now!"

"....Excuse me?"

"YOU HEARD MEH!"

Then Marcellous knocked X-Pac out.

X-Pac got back up. "...You cracked my sunglasses!"

"What of it?"

Then X-Pac took off his jacket. "I KILL YOU!"

X-Pac knocked Marcellous down. While he was down, X-Pac grabbed an iron bar. Marcellous grabbed a steel support beam to steady himself, but X-Pac twisted the iron bar around his hands, handcuffing Marcellous to the support beam.

"Nowhere to run!" X-Pac shouted as he grabbed a wire that was hanging around. "Oh, what fun we will have!"

Meanwhile, HBK was desperately trying to fight off the drunken virgin.

"Dude, stop it already!"

Raditz grabbed HBK's hair and drove his head into the ground. Then Raditz fell asleep. When HBK got up, he tried to grab Raditz, but the 21-year-old virgin grabbed his arm and put him in a Crippler Crossface.

"Why did you have to interrupt my nap?"

While all the shenanigans were happening, T-Lo was still watching from his chair.

"Fuck, I wish a conveniently located friend or associate of these bums would come and take the place of that weirdo I blasted into a river!" T-Lo sighed.

Just then, Spencer stood behind him, adorned in his Undertaker outfit.

"I think I'll jump in!" T-Lo shouted, before he found himself pinned to his chair by The Phenom.

"That wouldn't be fair, no would it?" Spencer asked.

"Let's go, homes!" T-Lo said as he bounced up, "I'll knock you out!"

Spencer got into a fighting position. T-Lo hustled, but then he pulled out a knife. Spencer was able to move out of the slashing way, but his shirt took the heat.

"...Dude...." Spencer started, "You ripped my shirt!"

"Tough!"

Then Spencer pushed T-Lo to the ground and took a few steps back as he got up. When T-Lo was on all fours, Spencer ran and punted him in the head. With a sickening vertebral crack, T-Lo was Down-Lo, never to come back up.

Spencer dusted off his hands. "1 down, 4 to go."

HBK was stunned, and Raditz was unconscious. As HBK prepared a finishing blast, Spencer was right there, and he grabbed HBK by the throat.

"Go ahead!" HBK choked, "Make my day!"

Spencer smirked before he pulled out a already-bloody kitchen knife and began to stab HBK with it. HBK struggled and screamed, but with one snap of the neck, HBK now stood for "Has Been Killed".

Spencer dropped the mutilated body, dropped his knife, and walked off.

"Huh?" Raditz asked as he woke up, "..Was I drunk?"

Then he noticed the body.

"Oh, I was definitely drunk."

Road Dog was currently strangling the ever-loving _hell_ out of Vegeta. The Royal Prick was now beginning to turn blue. Spencer sighed as he grabbed Road Dog's bald dome and began to smash it amongst various boxes and crates. After a while, Road Dog's skull was a bloody and broken mess. Spencer nonchalantly flew up to a hole in the roof, and positioned himself there.

"What is he doing now?" asked Vegeta.

A few seconds went by, and Spencer jumped off the roof and positioned himself into a leg drop. As he came down, the back of his thigh met Road Dog's face, blood and brains oozing out of what was once Road Dog's skull.

X-Pac was still whipping Marcellous, and he was sure enjoying it.

"YEAH BABY, YEAHHHH!!!!!" X-Pac shouted as the wire he held took the hide right of of Marcellous' back.

"Dude, this shit really hurts!"

"It does?" asked X-Pac.

"Yeah!"

X-Pac looked at Spencer. "Hey, you with the face, whip me!"

"What?"

"Whip me!"

Then Spencer punched X-Pac in the face, his sunglasses falling off.

"Oh my God!" Marcellous shouted, "He's a clone!"

X-Pac sighed. "Yay, the genius figured out that this DX was a clone of the original DX..."

Spencer grabbed X-Pac. "Who cloned you?!"

"I'll never tell!"

Then Spencer kicked X-Pac in the nuts, causing him to cough up blood.

"Table!" shouted X-Pac, his voice a few octaves higher. "Table, Vegeta's brother! He cloned us!"

"...Why?" Marcellous and Spencer asked in unison.

"He wanted to show his brother he could fight the fight!"

"Thank you!" Spencer cheered, "Your services are no longer needed."

Then Spencer threw X-Pac through a hole in the roof. While the Crazed and Demented One was in the air, Spencer fired off a blast, creating purdey fireworks.

Spencer then walked off the where OGD and Goku were having a fist-fight.

"...I'm still tied to this support beam, you know!"

His cried unheard, Marcellous became a Super Saiyan and blasted the bar off.

OGD and Goku were now cat fighting. Spencer pulled OGD off Goku, smacked him around a few times, and then he threw him into some electrical wires, were the bootlegged DX leader got tangled up.

Marcellous had his hand on an electrical switch. "Medium or well done?" he asked.

"Screw you!"

Marcellous flipped the switch, causing OGD to be fried to a crisp, and then he burst into flames.

10:43 AM – Warehouse

Dorm 666 and Spencer were standing around, doing nothing.

"Sooo....Table made clones." Raditz said.

"And that's caused him to be kicked out of DX!" Vegeta cheered.

"Where will you guys find a replacement?" Spencer asked.

Marcellous picked up a DX jacket and handed it to Spencer. "Welcome to the team, buddy."

"One question." Goku said, "What will DX do now that Headmaster Frieza is still a dick?"

"Once a dillhole, always a dillhole." said Spencer.

6:35 PM – Hirokiwa College Parking Lot

Headmaster Frieza was casually walking to his car, after a long day of Headmaster-ing. He got out his keys, and put the key in the slot, as he turned it, his car inexplicably exploded. Headmaster Frieza was blown a few feet back, but eventually recovered.

"Why me?!" asked Headmaster Frieza. Then he noticed something.

A big green "DX" was spray painted on what used to be his back window.

* * *

**Well, I hope you guys enjoyed the shenanigans. I know I enjoyed writing it. But I do have an announcement to make.**

**DBZ College is having its very first prequel!**

**That's right. In a few day, I will post a new story. This new story will explain the story of Marcellous, starting with his junior year in high school. It will explain how he became the man he is today. Trust me, he wasn't born like that. This new story will be about 10-15 chapters long, so don't expect any updates for this one.**

**I AM NOT DISCONTINUING THIS STORY.**

**It will simply be on hiatus for about 2-3 months.**

**So expect a prequel very soon!**

**The Ultimate Saiyan, out.**


	44. Rise of The Hurricane Part 1

**FINALLY....The Master of Mojo HAS COME BACK...to DBZ COLLEGE!!!!**

**I thought this chapter would be suitable for my comeback, so don't be terribly upset if it isn't what you want it to be. After all, I'm fresh off The Marcellous Story, and still getting readjusted to College.**

**So sit back, relax and enjoi!**

* * *

9:00 AM – Science Classroom

Professor Bardock was...professor-ing in front of the class.

"Students..." he started, "Today's assignment will be unusual. I will play a video, and you will take notes."

"That's not too hard..." Table said, but he was then quickly shushed by his fellow students.

"Shut up, you dumbass!" Vegeta whispered.

"He makes the assignments more difficult when you say that!" informed Spencer.

"But...here's the twist." Bardock said, "You'll be watching the video...backwards."

Then everyone groaned.

Bardock was about to put the video in, but he fell off his chair and onto his desk.

"...DON'T LOOK AT ME!!" Bardock shouted as he ran out of the classroom, crying like a little girl who just had her Barbie broken by her dickheaded older brother.

"Let's watch porn!" Vegeta shouted as he got out of his seat, much to the agreement of the other students.

"But, how do you know he has porn in here?" asked Marcellous, getting out of his seat to assist Vegeta.

"I know there's a safe under the file cabinet....but it needs a combo!"

Then Raditz got out of his seat and looked at the combination lock.

"10/19/1964." Raditz said.

"How would you know-"

"It's his birthday."

"I see."

Vegeta then cracked the lock open, and proceeded to browse through the porn. He then handed a few collections to Marcellous, who read the titles aloud to the class.

"69 Things I Like About You!"

That received moderate cheers.

"Star Trek: The Next Penetration!"

This was cheered loudly.

"Edward Penishands!"

This was booed, and the female population of the class had now left the room.

"Pamela Anderson's sex tape!" Marcellous said, "Both of them!"

This was cheered extremely loudly.

"We have a winner!" Marcellous announced as he handed the tape to Goku, who then turned on the TV.....

...but he was captivated by the News.

"**BREAKING STORY: We have news of a massive jewel heist going on in downtown Hirokiwa. Suspects are armed and dangerous. They are expected to be carrying C4 explosives as well."**

By now, Dorm 666, Table, and Spencer had left the room.

"...What about the porn?" one student asked.

9:30 AM – Dorm 666

D-Generation X was all suited up and ready to go, but they were waiting their newest member to get adjusted.

"Come on!" Road Dog shouted, "We don't have time to waste, Big Evil!"

"Yeah!" X-Pac shouted, "What he said!"

OGD slapped X-Pac across the back of the head. "I give the orders, bitch."

"But Road Do-"

X-Pac was slapped again.

HBK was currently checking himself out in the mirror. "My sexiness won't last forever, you know!"

Then Spencer came out...but this wasn't the regular Spencer, oh no.

X-Pac began to laugh hysterically. "Dude, you look ridiculous!"

Spencer was wearing a spandex sleevless shirt with his black wrestling tights and boots. His gloves were the same, as well.

"Let's go, Big Evil." OGD said as he headed for the door, "We have a bank robbery to stop."

"But don't we exist only as a plot device to make life miserable for Headmaster Frieza?" HBK asked.

OGD opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off.

"True, we do make like miserable for Headmaster Frieza, but we are also a plot device, used when no other options can fit properly." Road Dog explained.

OGD grabbed both their heads and cracked them together. "Can we go now?"

10:00 AM – Road

DX was driving to the crime scene, in the brand new DXmobile.

"This is a pretty monotonous drive." Big Evil said, "Can we jazz it up a little bit?"

Then the DXmobile stopped.

"What did we stop for?" asked HBK.

"_Welcome to Big Boy's, how may I help you?"_

"Yeah...let me get 5 double bacon cheeseburgers....5 sodas...and some chicken wings."

"**X-PAC!!"** shouted the other 4 DX members.

"Oh, and BBQ sauce."

"_That'll be $45.65. Please pull up to Window 3."_

"What the hell, man?" asked Road Dog.

"Can't fight crime on an empty stomach!"

Then they pulled up to the window.

"Here's your meal, sir." said the regular acne-ridden teen as he handed X-Pac the food.

"Thanks!"

"Aren't you forgetting something? The teen asked as he extended his hand.

"What's good, son?" X-Pac said as he high-5'd the teen.

"Well, actually-"

"**SUCK IT!"** X-Pac shouted as he threw a milkshake in the dude's face and then drove away.

"Wow, X-Pac!" OGD laughed, "You actually did something right for once!"

"You know, that's a very hurtful comment and I don't reall-"

"**LOOK OUT!"**

As it turns out, X-Pac forgot to watch the road, and drove straight into a tree.

"**X-PAC!!!" **OGD fumed, **"YOU FUCKING IDIOT! WE JUST GOT THIS CAR!!"**

"We didn't even get this car!" X-Pac said, "We stole it from Headmaster Frieza!"

"Hey, you two are arguing like an old couple!" Big Evil said.

"..So now I'm old?!" X-Pac asked. This resulted in another slap from OGD.

"Hey guys!" HBK shouted, "We're here!"

Conveniently, X-Pac had crashed right in front of the Jewelry Store.

"Who are you?" asked the Police Lieutenant.

"Who are we?" Road Dog asked, "WHO ARE WE?!"

"Actually, we're D-Generation X." Big Evil said, "We're here to help you."

"Really, we need all the help we can get!"

"Whatever."

Then DX walked into the building.

"Freeze!" shouted one of the two gunmen.

"Actually, we can't do that." X-Pac said, "It's 70 degrees outside."

Then one of the gunmen moved behind DX and locked the door. "It's just us now!"

"How'd you get behind us?"

"...You let me?"

"Oh yeah......"

Then one of the gunmen held up a C4. "Anyone moves, and this whole building goes down!"

"Woah, woah, woah, woah." said HBK. "Just calm down, all you need to do is-"

"**STAND BACK! THERE'S A HURRICANE COMING THROUGH!"**

"What the f-"

As a green flash swept across the room, both gunmen were bound and gagged, and the bomb was gone, nowhere to be found. As the flash stopped, it began to materialize.

"..Who are you?" asked Big Evil.

The figure was wearing green rights, with a sleevless top that had a stylized "H" on the front. He was wearing green and white gloves, and his boots had the same theme. His hair was wet and in front of his face. His green cape also had a stylized "H." He was wearing a green visor that totally covered his eyes.

"Who am I?" he asked, "I am....**THE HURRICANE!**"

"...Who's the Hurricane?" asked X-Pac.

"Only the baddest mamma-jamma superhero in history!"

Then all of DX laughed.

"You see, that's impossible!" Road Dog laughed, "That's us!"

"Well...not anymore!"

The Hurricane then dissipated in a bright flash of light.

The Police then broke down the door. "Wow, great job, DX!"

"Only problem...." OGD started. "It wasn't us."

"Then who could it be?"

".....The Hurricane."


	45. Rise of The Hurricane Part 2

12:45 PM – Dorm 666

The guys were playing Legends of WrestleMania, and they sure were having a good time.

"Nooooo!" cried Raditz, "Shawn Michaels, how could you?!"

Marcellous laughed. "You fool! No one beats The Rock in a Hardcore match!"

"Nobody...." Vegeta started, "Except Stone Cold Steve Austin!"

Goku laughed. "Hulk Hogan is a classic!" he argued, "You can't beat a classic!"

Spencer was sitting on a bunk, watching the action. "Can you guys hurry up?" he asked, "I wanna challenge the winner."

"You'll never beat me!" Vegeta boasted.

"Know your role...." Marcellous started, "And SHUT your mouth!"

Spencer scoffed. "You all know The Undertaker can own you."

Then Bardock walked in. "Guys, can I talk to you for a second?"

They paused the game and paid attention.

"You see...." he started, "Someone broke into my porn vault, and I've been hearing your names pop up all around campus."

"...Look!" Marcellous said, pointing out the window, "An underage prostitute accepting heroin from a shady-looking pedophile who just broke out of jail!"

"Really?!" Bardock asked, frantically.

"HELICOPTER PARENT, AWAY!!!!"

Then Bardock began to spin like a helicopter....

….until he crashed through the window.

"BLACKHAWK DOWN!!" he yelled, "BLACKHAWK DOWN!!"

"....Damn, how did he ever get a job teaching?" Spencer asked.

"He's a Genie-ologist." Marcellous explained.

"You mean...genealogist?"

"No, he thought getting the job would grant him three wishes."

"...Wow."

"He's legally qualified, and his class in a walk in the park."

Then Table walked in. "Hey guys!" he said, "Did you know there's a police shootout going on?"

"..And we care...why?" Vegeta asked.

"I just thought you guys might be able to help out." he said.

"...Whatever."

Then Table closed the door as he walked out.

"To the Dude Cave!"

1:30 PM – Dude Cave

D-Generation X was all suited up and ready to go.

"Are we ready?" asked Big Evil.

"We should be." HBK thought.

"Then let's go!" said OGD, "Oh, and X-Pac isn't driving this time."

X-Pac showed visible disappointment. "You're a poopy-head."

Then OGD slapped X-Pac.

They all got into the DX-mobile.

"Hey...This is a police shootout, right?" asked Road Dog.

"...Yeah..."

"Wouldn't our car get shot up if we took it?"

"...Yeah...."

"But what else could we take?" asked OGD.

"....DX Prototype 6.9."

"But it's only a prototype!" Big Evil said, "Didn't you read the name?"

"We have to test it out."

"...Whatever."

2:15 PM – City Streets

The roads had been closed off, and the police were fighting off some armed thugs.

"Surrender immediately!" One officer shouted. "We have backup!"

"Like what?" One thug asked, "A creampuff?"

"We are only going to ask you one more time...."

"**ARE YOU READY?!"**

Then a huge, camouflaged tank rode up to the shootout.

"What are you doing here?" Another officer asked.

"**NOOOO....I SAID...ARE....YOU....READY?!"**

Then DX jumped out of the tank, and landed right next to the police officers.

"**THEN....."**

"**....LET'S GET READY TO SUUUUUCK IIIIIIT!!!!!"**

Then DX began to do crotch chops. On the fourth crotch chop, the tank exploded.

"Dude, what the fuck?!" asked X-Pac, "That wasn't supposed to happen!"

"We spent a fortune on that thing!" OGD cried.

"It was a Prototype, though." HBK reminded.

"We used Headmaster Frieza's credit card, anyway." Road Dog scoffed.

"The only thing that matters is that we need to-"

"**STAND BACK! THERE'S A HURRICANE COMING THROUGH!"**

"What the-"

In a green flash of light, the thugs were bound and gagged.

"Who could that be?" asked a cop.

"The Hurricane!" X-Pac shouted, "Why does he always have to interrupt us?!"

Just then, The Hurricane appeared.

"The Hurricane, at your service." He said.

"Gee, thanks Hurricane!" the police cheered.

The Hurricane then flew away.

3:35 PM – Dorm 666

The Guys Formerly Known as DX were sitting around, wondering what to do.

"That damn Hurricane is a pain in the ass." Marcellous said.

"No shit, Sherlock." Vegeta angrily replied.

"...I think I have an idea." Spencer said.

"What?" asked Goku.

"In the future, we also have a superhero, who is also causes butthurt!"

"How does that have anything to do with what's currently happening?"

"You can only beat one superhero with another." Spencer explained. "I can bring him over, but we need a diversion."

"...Gang war!" Raditz shouted.

4:15 PM – City Street

The Hurricane was perched above the city, standing atop a building.

"_Today sure is a nice day..." _The Emerald Warrior thought, _"Those D-Generation X fellows sure are a funny group."_

Just then, there was a huge explosion.

"I should check that out!" Hurricane said, before he jumped off the building and began to fly to the scene.

DX was at the scene, but Big Evil was nowhere to be found.

"That's it!" HBK shouted, "I can't take it anymore!"

"You bastard!" Road Dog snarled. "How could you abandon us?"

"You are mean to us, you don't respect us, and you don't appreciate anything we do!" X-Pac shouted.

"You're just jealous!" OGD shouted.

"As of now, me and HBK are seceding from DX!" X-Pac said, "Into the DX Wolfpac!"

"Fine!" OGD said, "Then me and Road Dog are now the DX Hollywood!"

"We must fight for gang turf!"

The former gang then began to charge up energy blasts.

"**STAND BACK! THERE'S A HURRICANE COMING THROUGH!"**

As a green flash passed by, X-Pac and HBK were bound and gagged.

"Now, to get those other two!"

As The Hurricane turned around...

….OGD and Road Dog were bound and gagged....

...by another superhero!

"...Who...Who are you?!" Hurricane asked.

"Who am I" the hero asked, "I am....HE WHO DOES NOT ALLOW EVIL....." then he posed.

"THE CHAMPION OF JUSTICE....." he posed again.

"**....THE GREAT SAIYAMAN!!!"**

This was followed by an epically gay (but not in a homophobic way) pose.

"Well...Saiyaman..." Hurricane started, "..This city's only big enough for one superhero!"

"Very well!" Saiyaman said as he got into a fighting stance, "Have at you!"

Hurricane also got into a fighting stance. "Let's go!"

* * *

**Did that surprise you? I'm sure it did.**

**Well, I'd hate to tease you, but you're gonna have to wait for the epic Hurricane-Saiyaman fight.**

**You see, I've decided to break the storyline, because the next chapter will be the Halloween special.**

**So, I will see you all on Old Hallows Eve.**

**Also, 10 cool points to the first person to correctly guess The Hurricane's real identity.**


	46. Halloween Special: The Vampire Vexation

**Hey guys n' gals, are you ready for the DBZ College Halloween Special?**

**Well, I don't give a shit, because it's here anyway!**

**Also, grab your popcorn. This behemoth of a chapter took me a whole 27 pages to write.**

**I would also like to let you know that the "Rise of The Hurricane" saga will continue with the next chapter.**

**Happy Halloween!**

**

* * *

**2:30 PM – Dorm 666

The guys were just sitting around, being college dudes.

"Hey guys...." Raditz started, "Wanna prank Headmaster Frieza?"

"Nah...." Marcellous sighed, "DX has enough publicity...we should just lay low for a while."

"...True,true."

"Hey, don't we have a class we need to be in right now?" Goku asked.

"Fuck neurophysiology." Marcellous said, "I'm smart enough as it is already."

Then Vegeta went into the kitchen. "Anybody want anything?"

"Could you get me that last slice of pizza?" Goku asked.

"...Whatever." Vegeta scoffed as he handed Goku said pizza slice.

"...Dude...." Raditz started, "What the hell is that?"

"My specialty." Goku replied, "Anchovies with pineapple and mushrooms."

"It smells like dog shit!"

"No, that's you."

"Oh, snap!" Marcellous said, "Are you gonna take that?"

"...Nah, I already had his mother last night."

"But you two are brothers, jackass!" Vegeta said.

"Nonsense." Raditz replied. "...Everyone knows he's adopted."

The chewed up pizza then began to drip out of Goku's agape mouth.

"Dude, that looked better about two minutes ago." Marcellous said, a visible disgust on his face.

"I DON'T KNOW WHO I AM ANYMORE!"

Then Goku ran out of the room, screaming like a madman.

"Hey, what happened?" Table asked as he walked in, "I just saw Goku running down the hall screaming something about being adopted."

"We just said that to get him off our backs." Raditz said, "Want anything to eat?"

Then Table began to cough. "Nah, I'm fine. I think I (cough) caught something."

"Flu?" Marcellous asked.

"No."

"Swine Flu?"

"No."

"AIDS?"

"...You're an idiot."

"Well, it was worth a try."

"Hey, did anyone see the Tenth Anniversary of SmackDown?" Vegeta asked.

"Oh, that was awesome!" Raditz said, "The Main Event was the best ever!"

"What really made it awesome was that The Rock made a special guest appearance on the show he himself started!" Marcellous said.

"You just love The Rock, don't you?" Vegeta asked.

"Dwayne Johnson is epic fail." Marcellous explained, "The Rock is the epitome of greatness."

Then Table sat down. "Hey guys....I don't feel too good...."

"Why?" Raditz asked, "Is there anything wrong?"

"I think I...." then Table passed out.

"..Oh my God!" Vegeta frantically shouted, "Table!"

Vegeta then began to hug his brother.

"Vegeta, are you okay?" Marcellous asked, "You usually-"

"Damn, he's broke." Vegeta said, his brother's wallet in his hand. "....What?"

3:35 PM – Hospital

Vegeta was in the waiting room, and his younger brother was in a hospital.

"Hello." said the generic doctor as he walked in, "It seems we have a bit of a problem here."

"What is it?" asked Vegeta, "Is it the flu?"

"No."

"Swine flu?"

"No."

"AIDS?"

"...No."

"Then what the hell is it?"

"Tuberculosis."

"...Is that an STD?"

"....You're an idiot."

"So what does this mean?"

"Your brother will have to be quarantined."

"..So?"

"If we can't cure him in time, he will die."

"How serious is it?"

"It's been of little threat for quite a while, but its suddenly gone into a full-blown attack." the doctor said, reading through a few papers. "I'm afraid he only has a few weeks left."

"...How much will the treatment cost?" Vegeta asked, very frantically.

"Around $134,000 to $670,000."

"..Does this count as a treatment?"

"Does what-"

Then Vegeta gave the doctor a Stone Cold Stunner.

5:15 PM – Dorm 666

Marcellous and Raditz were sitting around, waiting for news from Vegeta.

"Hey, did you notice Goku hasn't come back yet?" Marcellous asked.

"He's probably gone around town asking if he's adopted." Raditz said.

"Sometimes a wonder...." Marcellous started, "How did he get into college with an IQ lower than that of a shovel?"

"Simple." Raditz started, "Everyone thought he was retarded, so they gave him passing grades out of pity and sympathy."

"..You have no idea how easy my life could have been if I did that."

"But at what cost?" Raditz said, "You wouldn't be smart, you wouldn't be successful, and you certainly wouldn't be where you are right now."

"You're right." Marcellous said, "...There are no shortcuts on any road worth taking."

"...Wow, that's deep."

"Dear Abby sure knows her shit."

Then Spencer walked in, "Hey, guys."

"That's pretty new." Raditz inspected, "Since when did you get sleeve tattoos?"

"..I got them when I went to the future to get Saiyaman."

"I see." Marcellous said, "That had to hurt like shit."

"Not really." Spencer explained, "In the future, they have booths that give you tattoos in a matter of seconds."

"That's nice."

"And it's only 50 cents a minute."

"Wow."

"How far do they go?" Raditz asked.

Then Spencer took off his shirt.

"Dude, that's not what I asked for!"

"..Shut up."

The tattoos begun at his fingertips, and went all around his arms until the both connected at the back of his neck. They were various depictions of skulls, crossbones, stylized gothic lines, and of course the DX symbol.

"That's so cash."

"Oh, check this one out."

Spencer turned around and lifted up his hair, showing the place where his sleeves met. There was a tattoo that read VEREOR HAUD VIR in black Gothic lettering.

"Wow, I didn't know that you knew Latin." Marcellous said.

"That's Latin?" Spencer asked, "I wanted Viking!"

"It still looks awesome, though."

Then Vegeta walked in. "I don't have that much good news."

"What's wrong with Table?" Raditz asked.

"He has TB."

"Oh, that sucks."

"He only has a few weeks to live."

"That's odd." Marcellous said, "Most TB patients live up to months, even years before they die."

"They said it was underlying for a while, but it suddenly popped up."

"I have an idea why this is happening, but I'll have to wait until after treatment to see if I'm right."

"What can we do in a few weeks?" Spencer asked.

Marcellous went into the bathroom, and came out with two sets of pills.

"Take the blue pill to enter the Matrix." he said, "Take the red pill to return to normal life."

Then everyone took the blue pill.

_**3 weeks later....**_

Everything was normal, and the 4 guys were still standing as usual.

"What just happened?" Raditz asked, "I can remember taking the blue pill, and everything just blacked out...."

"We just skipped forward three weeks." Marcellous explained. "Now we can find out if I was right."

Just then, the phone rang.

"Hello?" Spencer asked as he picked up the phone.

"_Good Evening, is Mr. Vegeta there?"_

"It's for you."

Vegeta took the phone and walked outside.

"I wonder what the results could be..." Raditz wondered.

"My idea is extremely impossible, but it could be likely." Marcellous said.

"What is it?" Spencer asked.

"You see-"

Then Vegeta walked in.

"What happened?"

"...He's dead."

"What?" Spencer asked, "How could he be dead?"

"They said it was extremely advanced in a short amount of time..."

"I guess I was right." Marcellous said.

"What was your theory?" Raditz asked.

"It's highly improbable that modern medicine would fail to treat TB...." Marcellous started, "But it appears that an ancient belief might come to be true."

"What belief is that?" Spencer asked.

"Before the bacteria that caused it was discovered....tuberculosis was believed to be caused by....vampires."

The other three began to laugh.

"Vampires?" Raditz laughed, "That's ridiculous!"

"Why would vampires attack us?" Vegeta laughed, "Did we eat garlic, or something?"

"I'd laugh..." Spencer said, "But my laughing muscles have shriveled up from lack of use."

"Think about it for a second..." Marcellous said, "People that have died in strange of freaky accidents have often come back as vampires to haunt those who knew them."

"We don't know anyone who died in a strange way!" Raditz said, "That's poppycock!"

Vegeta began to laugh, "Ha ha, you said 'cock'!"

"Whatever." Marcellous said. "Let's just get some food, or something."

Then the guys left the room.

9:00 PM – Dorm 666

The guys had just come back from their dining experiment.

"Well, that was...interesting." Spencer said.

"Yeah, especially since that dude threatened to chop his cock off." Marcellous said.

"Who does that?" Vegeta asked, "Do they have no idea how valuable a cock is?"

"Did you know they saved Rasputin's penis and put in on public display?" Spencer asked.

"...My soup was cold." Raditz said.

"Let's watch some TV." Marcellous said as he grabbed the remote.

"Hey, is that Degrassi?" Spencer asked.

"Change it! Change it!" Vegeta said, shielding himself. "Just hearing its name makes my blood curdle!"

"Hey, Jackass." Marcellous said, channel flipping.

"Stop calling me names!" Vegeta said.

"Not you, the TV show."

Then they all laughed as Johnny Knoxville got blasted into a wall by a fire hose.

"This show really isn't all that great." Spencer said.

"But it's fun watching stupid people get hurt!" Raditz replied.

"But it's not a good idea for a TV show."

"Hey, man." Vegeta started, "Jackass revolutionized the daredevil industry."

"You know, it's really nice when we can all come together and argue while stupid people get hurt." Marcellous said. He then sat down as the three-way argument ensued.

3:00 AM – Dorm 666

The 4 guys were sleeping, and Spencer decided to crash with them. He slept on the floor, however, because it was quite possible for something to be alive in Goku's bunk.

(thump)

"Uhhh...."

(thump)

(thump)

"...Damn...."

(thump)

(thump)

(thump)

"Dude, shut up!"

(THUMP)

Marcellous was finally awake. "What the fuck?"

(THUMP)

(THUMP)

Marcellous looked out the window.

Birds were falling out of the sky...dead.

"Dude wake up." he said as he shook Raditz.

"Radiza..please...." he began to moan, "I'm not ready....."

"Dude, get the fuck up."

"...Oh, I love it when you talk dirt to me....."

Then Marcellous hit Raditz with an alarm clock.

"...Someone's a little kinky today...."

Marcellous punched Raditz in the 'nads.

"What? What?" Raditz asked as he shot up, "And why do I feel pain in my nuts?"

"Dude, look outside."

Raditz did just that. "..It's raining birds."

"That's not natural." Marcellous started, "Vampires often cause weird situations like this to scare people."

"Will you stop with that vampire crap?" Raditz asked, "I'm gonna watch some Robot Chicken to wash that crap out of my mind." he said as he turned on the TV....

….but was taken hold of by the news.

_**BREAKING NEWS: People and animals are dying by the thousands. With thousands of tuberculosis diagnoses popping up in hospitals around the world, modern medicine is failing to combat the disease. The old world theory that vampires caused the disease is starting to become common belief.**_

Marcellous began to slowly turn his head toward Raditz, an "I-was-right-and-you-thought-I-was-wrong-but-I-was-proven-right-at-the-most-inopportune-moment" grin plastered on his face.

"Damn, why must you always be right?"

"Let's just wake up the others..."

"What for?"

"I have a very strong idea about who is behind all this."

"Who could that be?"

"I think it's-"

"What the hell, man?" Vegeta asked. "Why did you wake us up?"

"Yeah, man." Spencer said, also waking up. "I was having the best sex dream."

"Let's just suit up and go."

"Suit up...with what?"

"Wear something protective."

"Like what?"

"Something that's not easily torn."

"I see."

"Power Rangers!" Marcellous said, "GO!"

"..Just for that, I'm gonna kick you in the nuts." Spencer said.

"Now that's just harsh-"

Then Marcellous got kicked in the 'nads.

5:50 AM – Dorm 666

The guys were all suited up and ready to go a-killin' some vampires.

"Would this be enough?" Vegeta asked.

"..Has anyone noticed that we're just wearing our DX uniforms, but without the jackets or sunglasses?" Raditz inferred.

"I'm not so sure about Spencer over there." Marcellous said.

Spencer was wearing his traditional Undertaker outfit, but he had on a black Stetson hat with a black leather overcoat.

"What's up with you?" Raditz asked, "You've got a little Vampire Slayer thing goin' on?"

Spencer pulled back his coat, revealing a gun holster on his belt.

"It that all?"

Spencer began to individually open the pockets on his belt, revealing silver bullets, Holy Water, crucifixes, wooden staked, and whatnot.

"That's no too much."

Spencer paused for a minute, before he pulled out a sword.

"Damn, dude." Vegeta said, "You think that's a little too much?"

Spencer struck the ground with the sword, and the spot of contact was immediately stuck by lightning.

"Hey guys, I've got the coordinates of where all the vampire activity is coming from." Marcellous said.

"Where?"

"It's deep in the heart of Blackridge Castle."

"Blackridge Castle?" Raditz asked, "That place is famous for the witch burnings of 1713!"

"Exactly." Marcellous started. "An evil castle for an evil vampire."

"Let's go." Spencer said. "Before this predicament gets any worse."

The vamp slayers then left the dorm.

6:00 PM – West City

The guys had long since left Hirokiwa City, and were now in West City.

"Did you ever notice that there's never any sunshine in West City?" Marcellous asked.

"Because there's an active volcano." Vegeta said. "You know better than anyone that ash goes up into the sky."

"...Asshole."

Spencer had fallen back behind most of the group.

"_I think I know who Marcellous was talking about." _he thought,_ "But is seriously be him?"_

"Hey, vampire attack!" Vegeta yelled.

"We have to stop them." Marcellous said. "They could infect more innocent people."

"Let's go!" Spencer said as he descended.

"What're you doing, bro?" Raditz asked, "When you look as good as we do, you gotta land in _style_."

"Like what?"

Then Raditz began to spin like a corkscrew as he plummeted down to the ground below.

"Please, stop!" an innocent bystander pleaded to a vampire.

"Grrr...."

"N-nooooo!"

"RAAAHHH!"

Just then, Raditz plummeted to the ground, knocking away quite a few vamps.

"Stand back!" Raditz said, "We're here to stop you!"

"You're pointing the wrong way, dumbass." Vegeta said.

Raditz was pointing toward the opposite direction. "Heh, I guess I spun too much..."

"Let's get on with this." Marcellous said, getting into a fighting stance.

"These souls will rest in peace." Spencer said, as he took off his hat.

Then, vampires began to pounce.

Vegeta grabbed a pouncing vamp and threw him into a few of his buddies. "This is kinda easy!"

Marcellous kicked a vamp's head off. "Who knew these guys were such pushovers?"

Spencer stood by and began to blast vamps. "Such pathetic attempts."

Raditz, however, was in over his head. "Okay, now I'm sure I spun too much." he said, "How could 15 zombies gang up on me at once?"

"Guys, I think Raditz is in trouble." Vegeta said.

Marcellous looked over. "Oh God! We can't reach him in time!"

Just then, the familiar blue blast took the vamps out.

"Gee, thanks Marcellous!" Raditz said.

"One problem...that wasn't me."

Then Goku ran up to Raditz. "Raditz!"

"Kakarot? Where have you been?"

"Here!" Goku said as he handed his older brother a bunch of papers, "I knew I wasn't adopted!"

"What are these?"

"Birth certificates and medical records!"

"Well...thanks for saving me from the vampires and all-"

"Vampires?" Goku asked, "You mean those weren't rabid fangirls?"

"No...."

"Then wait....OH GOD, WHAT ARE YOU-"

Then the four guys slowly walked away as Goku was taken down by vampires.

7:15 AM – Sky

The four guys were flying as the sky began to turn increasingly red.

"Has anyone noticed the blood-red hue of the sky today?" Raditz asked.

"It's getting increasingly darker." Spencer said. "We must be getting closer."

Just then Vegeta was taken down, and crashed into one of the islands below.

"Vegeta, are you okay?" Raditz asked.

Vegeta looked at the figure that took him out. "I'll be fine, you just go!"

"But-"

"**GO!"**

As the other flew off, Vegeta got a closer look. "..You're the last person I'd expect to attack me."

"Things happen for a reason.....brother."

It was true. Table stood right there in front of his brother. His skin was pale as cotton, and his eyes were blood red.

"Why did you come back?" Vegeta asked.

"I came...for revenge." Table explained, "Ever since we were kids, you always had to outshine me. You got the fame, the glory, the ladies...I had nothing."

"That wasn't my fault!"

"SHUT UP! I've finally got my chance to get even with you!"

"It doesn't look like I'll be able to convince you." Vegeta said as he got into a fighting stance. "So be it."

"I've waited over 20 years for the to happen...."

As the two brothers faced each other, lightning struck in the background.

"Dude, what the fuck was that?" Vegeta asked.

"Help from above." Table smirked, "This island will be surrounded by a ring of fire. No interruption, no help, just you and me."

"This means...I'll have to kill you." Vegeta said. "Oh, lucky me."

Table threw the first punch, but Vegeta caught it. This was followed up by a kick, but Vegeta used his other hand to catch it.

"You seem to be formidable."

"Be jealous."

As Table jerked away from his brother, Vegeta punched him in the gut. While Table recoiled, Vegeta grabbed his head and slammed it into the ground. Table got up and saw that his lip was bleeding. He licked away the blood.

"Ewww..." Vegeta said, "That was gross and unnecessary!"

In his temporary displacement, Vegeta was on the receiving end of a kick to the crotch.

"GOOOOOAAAAAALLLL!!" Table shouted.

Then, Vegeta began to glow. His glow began to increase, to the point where it was blinding. A few seconds and a bright flash later, he was a Super Saiyan.

"Wha...What are you?!" Table asked, astounded.

"You fool." Vegeta smirked, "I'm the greatest! I'm a SUPER SAIYAN!"

"Let's see just how super you are."

The two brother were then involved in a power struggle. As they locked fists, the area around them began to crumble. Finally, the two broke apart, but Table was struck in the stomach.

"Let's finish with this." Vegeta said, as he put his hand up. "BIG GANG ATTACK!"

Table saw the attack, and tried to hold it off. He struggled for a few seconds, but it began to diminish..until it was gone.

"What?" Vegeta asked, "What did you do with it?"

Just then, Table vanished. He reappeared next to his brother, and slashed him across the stomach.

"What...What did you do?" Vegeta asked, clutching his bleeding stomach.

Table smirked. "You fool, I can absorb your attack's energy..and use it against you."

As Vegeta was holding his stomach, Table punched him in the face.

"How does that feel?" he asked as he slapped his brother, "Not that good?"

Vegeta was on one knee. "You...you son of a bitch!"

"..You shouldn't have said that."

Table grabbed Vegeta by the shoulders and slammed him into the ground. He used the energy he absorbed from the Big Bang Attack and created a square containment unit around Vegeta. It then began to shrink, crushing him.

"Well, it looks like this is out final goodbye." Table laughed as he watched his brother compacted.

Vegeta smirked, until he disappeared from his container.

"What?" Table asked himself as he frantically looked around, "Where could he be?"

Just then, Vegeta appeared behind his younger brother. He grabbed him by the hair, and threw him into the fire surrounding the island.

"D-DAMN YOU!!!!" Table shouted as he burned.

Vegeta could do nothing but laugh as his brother burned.

In a last act of defiance, Table launched an energy attack, but it vanished before it could hit him.

As the fire around the island disappeared, so did Table.

"That damn idiot." Vegeta said, "How could he expect to beat me?"

Then Vegeta keeled over in pain. "Damn, how could a stab hurt this much?"

Then he saw a bright light coming from his gash.

"Oh, fu-"

Then there was a huge explosion.

9:20 AM – Sky

The three remaining vamp slayers were flying through the sky.

"I wonder what happened to Vegeta..." Raditz said.

"I don't think we have time for that." Marcellous said as he looked down.

There was a pack of vamps about to attack a crowd of people.

"..You guys go on ahead, I've got this one." Raditz said.

"But how can you-"

"Just go!"

Marcellous and Spencer flew away as Raditz landed.

"Grrr...." grunted the vamps as they advanced on the people.

"Stop!" shouted one of the people, "Don't hurt us!"

"Leave them alone!" Raditz said.

"You?" asked another person. "Why should we trust you?"

"Trust me?" Raditz asked, "Because...because...."

**'Cause this is thriller, thriller night!  
And no one's gonna save you from the beast about to strike  
You know it's thriller, thriller night  
You're fighting for your life inside a killer, thriller tonight!**

Then Raditz began to dance in a style reminiscent of the late, great Michael Jackson. The people saw their chance and ran away.

**You hear the door slam and realize there's nowhere left to run  
You feel the cold hand and wonder if you'll ever see the sun  
You close your eyes and hope that this is just imagination  
But all the while you hear the creature creepin' up behind  
You're out of time!**

Then the vamps jumped in with Raditz and began to dance a la' The King of Pop.

**'Cause this is thriller, thriller night!  
There ain't no second chance against the thing with forty eyes  
You know it's thriller, thriller night  
You're fighting for your life inside a killer, thriller tonight!**

The zombies and Raditz then began to do the signature moves from the Thriller music video.

**They're out to get you, there's demons closing in on every side  
They will possess you unless you change the number on your dial  
Now is the time for you and I to cuddle close together  
All through the night I'll save you from the terrors on the screen,  
I'll make you see....**

Raditz moonwalked while the vamps did crotch grabs.

**That it's a thriller, thriller night!  
'Cause I can thrill you more than any ghost would dare to try  
Girl, this is thriller, thriller night!  
So let me hold you tight and share a killer, diller, chiller,  
Thriller here tonight....**

One vamp stepped up while the others bowed down.

**Darkness falls across the land  
The midnight hour is close at hand  
Creatures crawl in search of blood  
To terrorize y'awl's neighborhood  
And whosoever shall be found  
Without the soul for getting down  
Must stand and face the hounds of hell  
And rot inside a corpse's shell  
The foulest stench is in the air  
The funk of forty thousand years  
****And grizzly ghouls from every tomb  
Are closing in to seal your doom  
And though you fight to stay alive  
Your body starts to shiver  
For no mere mortal can resist  
The evil of the thriller!**

The vamp then gave a deep, evil, resounding laugh.

"You see?" Raditz asked, "Music brings people together!"

Then all the vampires had blood red eyes.

"What are you...OH FUCK-"

Then the vampires jumped Raditz.

10:50 AM – Blackridge Castle

Spencer and Marcellous were standing in front of an ominous, gray castle.

"So this is Blackridge Castle...." Spencer said.

"Yeah." Marcellous replied, "Famous for the witch burnings of 1713."

"Exactly what was it that led them to believe witches were real?"

"Probably got it from the Salem witch burnings of 1609."

"But that was more than a hundred years prior!"

"News traveled slowly back then, especially to a far-away place like Hirokiwa."

"But I read that Hirokiwa was established in 1725...."

"That is true, but they evolved from a settlement called Neurona."

"What was that?"

"It's Saiyan for 'triumph'".

"Triumph? Over what?"

"It was made by a small troupe 240 Saiyans who were able to successfully escape Planet Vegeta's harsh battlefield conditions."

"What was wrong with Planet Vegeta?"

"The Saiyan-Tuffle War."

"I see."

"The Neuronean settlers most likely heard about the Salem witch burnings and thought all women were witches."

"That's awfully crude."

"This is where most of the witches were burned." Marcellous explained as he walked over to a charred black post, "It's said that one can still hear the screams of innocent women if you stand close enough."

Then there was a rustling sound.

"..What was that?" Spencer asked.

"I have no idea."

Then Marcellous saw a pair of glowing red eyes in a bush behind Spencer.

"Get out of the way!"

"What?"

Then Marcellous pushed Spencer out of the way as a vampire pounced from out of the bushes.

"You seem to be a little hungry."

The vampire then gave a blood curdling scream as he leaped toward Marcellous. The latter moved out of the way, and as the vamp turned around, his head was kicked clean off.

"That was pretty quick." Spencer said as he got up.

"I'm not exactly new to fighting enemies, you know."

"Aside from the World Tournament, I've never seen you fight, actually."

"Oh yeah, you weren't in the alternate universe with us."

"Alternate what?"

"I'll explain on the way."

Then they both walked into the castle.

11:34 AM – Blackridge Castle

Spencer and Marcellous were walking around inside the fabled castle.

"So this is Blackridge Castle?" Spencer asked.

"Pretty much."

"Whose castle is this, anyway?"

"It was made for Lord Blackridge, the earliest known ruler of the Neuroneans."

"Who was he?"

"He was all about rules." Marcellous explained, "He once had a servant killed for picking his nose."

"Sounds like someone I know...." Spencer said.

"I don't know why, but I always associate that with the color blue...." Marcellous said.

"It's the military for me."

"Commander Blue?"

"That doesn't sound right. More like General Blue."

"Yeah, that sound nice."

"I'm sure General Blue would make a nice video game character."

"A general that kills someone because he picked his nose?" Marcellous asked, "Highly unlikely."

"Whatever."

They continued walking, until Marcellous stopped.

"What's wrong?" Spencer asked.

Marcellous sat down. "I-I'm not feeling too good....."

"Are you sick?"

"N-no."

"Flu?"

"No."

"Swine Flu?"

"No."

"AIDS?"

"Y-you're an idiot."

Then some creaking noises were made."

"What was that?"

Multiple pairs of red glowing eyes began to appear in the shadows.

Marcellous looked at his arm. "I think I know what's wrong."

"What is it?"

"...I've been bitten."

"What?!" Spencer asked, "How?"

"T-That vampire we faced a few minutes ago..."

Vampires began to appear out of the shadows.

"What do we do?"

"Go on ahead."

"Are you crazy?" Spencer asked, "You can't do this alone!"

"Spencer, trust me." Marcellous said, "I know who's behind this, and you're the only one that can stop him."

"But I don't know who he is!"

"Trust me, you'll know soon enough."

"But-"

"Just go."

Spencer ran on ahead as Marcellous got into a fighting stance.

"Come on!" Marcellous said as he faced the vamps, "Let's go!"

12:15 PM – Blackridge Castle

Spencer was walking alone.

"_I wonder where Marcellous is..."_ he thought, _"I haven't heard anything from him."_

Then the creaking noises where heard again.

Spencer sighed as he began to take off his robe. As he was doing that, an energy blast shot up from under him. He was knocked away, but he was more shocked at the figure that came through the hole.

"Marcellous?" he asked, "Is that you?"

"Oh, the Marcellous you know is long gone!" The figure laughed, "I am here to replace him!"

The figure did have some physical parallels to Marcellous, but his skin was cotton white and his eyes were blood red.

"What happened to you?"

"I was in the midst of my battle with the vampires." he started, "I was nearing my final moment. As the final blow was to be dealt, I felt a sudden surge of power. I quickly defeated the vampires, until I noticed my skin had paled and my power had increased tenfold!"

"You've become a vampire." Spencer said as he pulled out a vial of Holy Water, "Drink this."

"You fool!" Marcellous shouted as he slapped the vial away, "You know nothing of me now!"

"What have you become?!"

"In this world, there are two kinds of people." he explained, "Those who want power, and those too stupid to seek it. You and I represent both those kinds."

"Since when have you wanted power?!"

"I wanted to be the same as my ancestors! I wanted to be free of emotional attachments! I wanted to be....powerful."

"Marcellous, you're not thinking clearly." Spencer said, "You've never wanted any of this, and you still don't."

"You don't know anything about me!" Marcellous said as he got into a fighting stance, "Let's go, you damn hybrid."

Spencer's eyes went wide. "Y-You know?"

Marcellous laughed. "I've known since the first time I met you."

"How?"

"It's obvious. The way you acted around both Raditz and Radiza...I know they're your parents, and that you're from the future."

"That doesn't matter." Spencer said as he got into a fighting stance, "You won't live to tell anyone."

Marcellous lunged at Spencer. The latter blocked it, and punched the former in the stomach. In his moment of recoil, Spencer grabbed Marcellous by the shin and slammed him into the ground.

Marcellous got up. "I'll have to show you my true power."

"What?!"

Marcellous turned into a Super Saiyan. "Prepare to die."

Spencer attempted to kick Marcellous in the chest, but he caught it and put his former friend in a ankle lock. He eventually released the hold, but the damage had been done. Spencer was now holding his ankle.

"I've found you're Achilles heel." Marcellous said, with an evil grin.

"Damn you...."

Marcellous vanished, and appeared behind Spencer.

"What are you-"

"TWIN DRAGON BLAST!"

Marcellous clutched his right wrist with his left hand and fired a yellow beam out of it. The beam had an ordinary look, but it was encircled by another yellow beam. Upon contact, Spencer was blown away.

"I'll really have to hurt you this time...." Spencer said as he pulled something out of his belt. Marcellous lunged at his enemy, and was met with a wooden stake in his torso.

"It seems I have you." Spencer said.

"You fool!" Marcellous said as he pulled the stake out, "That's all Hollywood! You can't kill a vampire with a wooden stake!" **(A/N: That's true, BTW. Traditional vampire stories have shown no solid proof of wooden stakes having any sort of advantage over a regular weapon.)**

"I'll have to try other methods, then." Spencer said as he pulled out a crucifix and threw it at Marcellous. It burned him, before it dropped.

"Damn you...." Marcellous said as he held the cross-shaped burn mark on his chest. Marcellous' eyes then began to glow red as he gave a scream. Spencer realized that his former friend was giving a cry for blood. He didn't even flinch as Marcellous leaped into the air. As he was coming down, the unexpected happened.

Marcellous' eyes returned the natural black color. He coughed up blood as he noticed something.

Spencer's sword had gone through his abdomen and out his back.

"W-what happened?" Marcellous asked, "I remember fighting the vampires, but then everything just blacked out..."

"You turned into a vampire from the bite you got."

"Really?" Marcellous asked, "I guess that would explain your sword in my gut."

"Yup." Spencer said as he retracted his sword. "Now come on, let's go get the head honcho."

"I'm afraid that can't happen..."

"Why not?"

"The sword penetrated my intestines." Marcellous explained. "I'll be dead in minutes."

"I-I didn't mean for that to happen, I just wanted to-"

"It's okay, my friend." Marcellous said, "It's up to you to stop him."

"I'm sorry."

"I-it's okay..."

Spencer began to walk away, but then he turned back. "I'll never forget you."

"Neither will I you." Marcellous said, "I'll wait for you in the afterlife."

"Goodbye...friend."

As Spencer walked away, Marcellous sat down, waiting for his inevitable death.

1:45 PM – Blackridge Castle

Spencer had been walking for quite some time, and he had finally reached the top of the tower.

"_This is it."_ he thought, _"I'll see who's behind all this."_

He was about to kick down the door, but it opened by itself. As he stepped in, there was nothing there but himself and another man.

"Hello..Spencer." the figure said. He was wrapped a dingy old robe which was ripped up and brown in color. It had a hood which covered his whole face.

"Just who are you?"

"I'm surprised you didn't notice me." he said as he turned around.

"It's been a long time....Trunks."

The figure took off his hood, to reveal that is was in fact, Trunks. His skin was pale white, and his hair had since grown down to his shoulders.

"My my, how the times have changed us." Trunks said.

"I still see the son of a bitch I saw back then."

"Such harsh words...Are you sure about that?"

"Just what exactly are you planning?"

Trunks looked out to the balcony, where zombies infested the land beneath the blood red sky. "You see...I've grown quite sick of you mortals." He started, "While I was stuck in Purgatory, I met a few odd fellows, who transformed me into what you see now. I began to think about how great I was in this form. I eventually escaped from Hell, and made my way here. I plan to turn this world into a vampire paradise, one continent at a time."

"You seem to forget you once walked among us mortals." Spencer said as he got into a fighting stance. "Let me give you a warm reminder."

"I still haven't forgotten what you did to me." Trunks said, "Revenge is a dish best served....cold."

Spencer lunged at Trunks, but he simply moved. Spencer went crashing through the window.

"Such reckless abandon." Trunks laughed as he stepped toward the window. He got too close, and Spencer's gloved hand grabbed him and threw him out. They were now fighting on the flat roof of the castle.

Spencer looked at the sky. "What a perfect setting for your demise."

"Whatever."

Trunks flew at Spencer, but the latter grabbed the back of his robe and slammed him down. Spencer attempted to pick him up, but Trunks vanished, reappearing behind Spencer and hitting him in the back with a cane.

"Where did you get a cane?" Spencer asked.

"Crate and Barrel."

"..Two can play at that game." Spencer said as he pulled out his sword. The two former allies began to duel.

"You think that puny little sword can stand up to me?" Trunks asked.

A few seconds later, his cane was cut in half.

"No more nonsense!" Trunks shouted as he lifted his hand. Spencer's belt was detached from his costume and flew into Trunks' hand.

"Let's settle this like men." Trunks said as he threw the belt off the side of the building.

Spencer rushed Trunks and punched him, nearly sending him off the side of the building. Trunks began to get up, but Spencer was charging up an attack.

"Get ready for your final disappearing act." Spencer said as he lifted up his arm. A black ball formed in it, and four red and black blade-like forms appeared. It got larger and larger, until it was almost as big as Spencer himself.

"HELL'S GATE!" he shouted, "GO!"

He threw Hell's Gate at Trunks, but the cunning mop-head dodged it. It crashed into a mountain, completely destroying it.

Spencer fell to one knee, exhausted. "I-I missed....."

"Now is the end!"

Trunks rushed Spencer, punching and kicking him all over the place. Then Trunks grabbed him by the throat and began to fly upward.

"Goodbye."

Trunks charged up a mass of energy in his other hand, and slammed it into Spencer. Spencer flew down, crashing into the castle.

Trunks looked down into the hole that was created. About 9 floors down, Spencer was laying in a crater. His body was covered in blood, and a stake was sticking out of his chest. He was dead.

Trunks began to laugh maniacally. "No one is left to stop me!" he shouted, "I can-"

All of a sudden, the blood red sky turned black. Thunder roared and lightning struck. One bolt went down into the hole and struck Spencer's lifeless body.

"Damn, dead _and_ fried."

A few seconds later, a purple aura began to glow from the hole. Spencer's corpse was raised up into the air, right in front of Trunks.

"What's going on?" Trunks asked as he looked into the crater. He soon realized...it wasn't a crater.

"Oh no!" Trunks groaned. "A Lazarus pit! The Neuroneans were right! They _did_ have witches!"

Lightning struck Spencer's corpse again. This time, it reanimated him. His injuries were healed, his body renewed, and his soul filled with a lust for vengeance.

"Trunks....."

"...Yes?"

Spencer no longer had pupils. "Your time has come. You have caused much pain and misery. When I knock you from the dark horse of self righteousness, only then will you be allowed redemption."

"What are you saying?!"

"You will....rest....in...peace."

"SHUT UP!"

Trunks attempted to punch Spencer, but he caught it.

"What happened?!" Trunks asked.

Spencer knocked Trunks a few feet back.

"Amazing..." Trunks said, "You can somehow harness the power of the undead...."

"Because...I _am_ undead."

"I don't believe that!"

Spencer began to charge up Hell's Gate again.

"I won't let you do it!"

"HELL'S GATE!" he shouted, "GO!"

Hell's Gate was launched, and it was a direct hit. The blades began to slash Trunks, reducing him to skin and blood. He eventually go up, albeit mortally wounded.

"I-I won't go that easily."

Spencer slowly slit his throat with his thumb, signaling the Tombstone Piledriver.

"N-NOOOOOO!"

Trunks' cries were no use as The Man From The Dark Side got him in the Tombstone position. Spencer then flew into the air and began to drop, but not on the roof, oh no. They were going straight into the ground. Upon impact, Trunks' skull was no more. It was only blood and brains. Spencer crossed Trunks' hands over his chest.

"It's over." Spencer said as he got up. His pupils returned, and his dark purple aura was gone. "That's strange." He said as he looked at his wrist. There was a strange demonic marking on it. "I don't remember getting that tattoo."

He looked at the sky return to its docile blue color. Then he realized that everyone was dead.

"Marcellous said he would be waiting for me." Spencer remembered as he spotted his belt nearby. He walked over to it and took his gun out. It was loaded.

"Better not keep him waiting."

* * *

11:35 PM - Headmaster Frieza's Office

Headmaster Frieza was in a deep sleep, and had just woken up. "What happened?" he asked himself as he looked around and saw that all was well. Then he spotted a little orange medicine bottle. He looked at it for a little and read the fine print.

**WARNING: May cause hallucinations.**

Then he threw the bottle away. "Last time I use medicinal herbs to ease my stress level....."


	47. Rise of The Hurricane Part 3

"Let's do this..." The Hurricane started, "THE SUPERHERO WAY!"

Saiyaman posed. "I agree!"

Then Hurricane posed. "You cannot defeat me!"

Saiyaman posed again. "I am the true superhero!"

Hurricane posed one more. "The Emerald Warrior will allow no evil to pass!"

Saiyaman gave another pose. "The Champion of Justice is forever!"

Hurricane up-righted himself. "This is gay."

Saiyaman gasped. "How dare you?!"

"Not in a homophobic way."

"Oh, that's alright."

Hurricane got into a fighting stance. "Let's settle this in the most manly way possible...."

Saiyaman readied himself for combat. "Let us go!"

5:45 PM – Willie's Bar

"One more round, boys?" the typical bartender asked to his patrons.

".....Fudgecakes."

"Oh, someone's feelin' brave tonight!"

Hurricane and Saiyaman were so inebriated they were now active fire hazards.

"i ToLd yOu I cOuLd DrInK MoAr tHaN YoU...." Saiyaman stuttered.

"NeVer!" The Hurricane prevailed.

Saiyaman pushed Hurricane. Hurricane was about to push back, but he threw up all over Saiyaman.

"EwWwWwW...." Saiyaman groaned.

Then they both got off their bar stools.

"Youwannastartsomething?" Hurricane asked.

"YoubetyourcandyassIdo...." Saiyaman said.

Hurricane was about to punch Saiyaman, but Saiyaman Roundhouse kicked Hurricane straight through the glass bay window.

"Hey man, you gotta pay for that!" the bartender said.

Hurricane got up. "Destruction of public property is a criminal offense and will not be tolerated!"

Saiyaman grabbed the bartender. "I'll do it, you know!"

"Do what?" asked Hurricane as he wobbled around.

"I'll take this guy and-"

The bartender kicked Saiyaman in the...Justice Jewels. While Saiyaman was in excruciating pain, Hurricane flew right at him and tackled him right into the wine cellar.

"Let's settle this among my adoring public!" Hurricane said as he looked around and waved to the "fans".

"Interference!" Saiyaman took a "fan" and nailed Hurricane right in the head with it. Hurricane was momentarily dazed, but he was able to avoid a swing with the broken "fan" that was caused by Saiyaman. Hurricane grabbed Saiyaman by the leg and swung him into a shelf, where about twenty "fans" came crashing down on the Champion of Justice.

Hurricane gasped. "Murderer!"

Saiyaman looked at the carnage. "I didn't do it!"

"I must kill you!" Then Hurricane charged up an energy blast and through it at Saiyaman, blowing him out into the street. Hurricane stepped out of the cellar. He was about to pick up Saiyaman, but the latter grabbed him by the cape and threw him into open traffic.

"Escape that!" Saiyaman said as he sat by the sidelines and watched.

Hurricane got up and saw that a car was about to crash into him.

"Halt, good-intentioned citizen!"

Hurricane was then run over. Saiyaman doubled over in laughed as history repeated itself. This continued to happen until the light turned red.

"Okay, that's enough-"

Saiyaman attempted to pick up Hurricane, but The Emerald Warrior rolled over to the sidewalk, just in time for the light to turn green. It was now Hurricane's turn to laugh as Saiyaman was turned into roadkill. Hurricane pressed the "walk" button before he got Saiyaman.

"I'll rock you like a Hurricane!" Hurricane said as he threw Saiyaman up into the air. Where he flew up after him. Saiyaman recovered in time.

"Let's end this!" Saiyaman said as he threw Hurricane down into a train station. "JUSTICE PUNCH!" Saiyaman charged up energy in his fist, and flew down toward Hurricane. It hit him right in the stomach. Saiyaman backed up and looked at his fallen foe.

"Iron fist!" Saiyaman claimed as he posed.

"I'm...not...done...yet!" Hurricane said as he got up. "Guess what?!"

"What?"

"HURRI-KICK!" Hurricane said as he kicked Saiyaman right in the gut. "HURRI-PUNCH!" he punched him in the face. "HURRI-JUMP!" He jumped in the air. "HURRI-FUCKIN' BODY ANNIHALATION!" He threw a green energy blast at Saiyaman. Saiyaman moved and the blast hit the train track, electrifying them.

"It's time we end this." Saiyaman said as he adjusted a notch on the side of his helmet.

"Lets." Hurricane said as he stuck his hand out in front of him. A green orb began to form in his palm. It swirled over and over again, until it formed four talon-like spikes on it. It got bigger and bigger until it was almost as big as Hurricane himself.

Saiyaman's visor began to glow a bright blue. It soon became blinding. Saiyaman began to brace himself.

"**EYE OF THE HURRICANE!"**

"**BLIND JUSTICE!"**

The two monstrous beams collided. The ground began to rattle.

Saiyaman adjusted the notch on his helmet again. **"LET'S END THIS!!"**

Blind Justice increased 10-fold in size. Hurricane was overwhelmed as he disappeared into the blast. As the smoke cleared, Saiyaman looked around.

"Where did he go?" The hero asked.

"Down...here...."

Saiyaman looked over into the train tracks. Hurricane was stuck to the tracks.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, I'm just magnetically connected to the track!"

Saiyaman jumped down and began to help Hurricane...

….until the ground started rumbling.

"OH SHI-"

6:00 PM – Dorm 666

Dorm 666 and Spencer were just chillin', wondering how their work had gone.

"I must admit, that was a very good plan." Vegeta said, "We've finally rid ourselves of our little Hurri-pest."

Raditz was still rubbing his back. "That Hurricane must have been a boy scout, he can tie one hell of a knot!"

"Let's turn on the news and see what happened!" Marcellous said as he grabbed the remote.

"_**Hello, this is the 6 o' clock news. I'm Jillian Fitzgerald and we have a breaking news report on the local superhero known only as The Hurricane. About an hour ago some locals called the police downtown to the train station. It was there that the shocked officials found the run-over remains of The Hurricane and an unknown other caped crusader. He have yet to hear how all this happened."**_

Everyone gave the traditional "Frat Guy Gasp."

"Damn, that was brutal!" Spencer said, "Even for me!"

"We wanted to get rid of him, we didn't wanna kill him!" Goku said.

"Well, shit happens." Raditz said.

Table walked in. "Hey guys..."

"Did you see this news report?" Vegeta asked, "It's wicked pissa!"

Spencer slapped Vegeta. "We're not on the East Coast."

Table looked at the news. "The Hurricane is dead?"

"Yeah!"

"That's odd." Table said, "Can't heroes like him live though normally fatal injuries?"

"Maybe he didn't have that power..." Raditz said.

Table sighed as he walked out of the room and into the hallway.

"Hey, Table!" Clare said as she came walking up to him.

"Clare, I haven't seen you in a while..." Table said as he became unusually flushed and sweaty.

"I've just been....doing...some things."

"W-well..I guess I'll talk to you later..."

"Later."

As they walked past each other, something fell out of Table's pocket.

"Hey Table, you dropped...."

Table looked back, and got wide-eyed when he saw what he dropped.

"This looks like The Hurricane's mask!" Clare said, "Why would you have one of these?"

"w-Well, I..."

"...Take off your shirt."

"But..."

"Take it off!"

Table slowly unbuttoned his shirt, revealing The Hurricane's costume.

"I knew it!" Clare said, "You're The Hurricane!"

"Please don't tell anyone!"

"I won't...under one condition..."

Table gulped, this time with a reason. "...What?"

"Be my personal slave for a month."

"....Okay." Table said as he buttoned his shirt.

"Let's go back to Dorm 666..."

Then they both walked back to Dorm 666 and opened the door.

"Hey, Clare!" Goku said, "Long time no see!"

Clare whispered something into Table's ear.

Table kicked Goku in the shin.

"What was that for?"

Table went up to Raditz and messed up his hair.

"Oh no you di'nt!"

Table went up to Vegeta and punched him into the balls.

"You're not the first person to try that."

Table went up to Marcellous and punched him in the face.

"I knocked out a Russian that was twice my size, try harder."

Table walked up to Spencer.

"Try it, punk."

Table walked back to Clare, who whispered something into his ear.

"KONOHA COLLEGE KICKED HIROKIWA COLLEGE IN THE BALLS!"

The guys were now ready to annihilate Table.

Clare whispered something else into his ear.

"What?! I can't tell them that!"

"Oh, you will."

Table sighed.

"Table wants to tell you his secret crush!" Clare said.

Everyone then sat down and intently started at Table, who began to sweat profusely.

"Out with it...or else I tell..." Clare said.

"My secret crush is...."

They guys were now sparkly-eyed, and Vegeta even got a recorder out.

"...Clare."

"OH, NO WAY!" Marcellous said.

"That's the secret of the century!" Raditz said.

"I got it one tape!" Vegeta screamed, "I got it on tape!"

"That's more lopsided than my hair!" Goku said.

Spencer was still emotionless. "Even this brings joy to my dark heart."

Clare was shocked. "Table, please follow me."

Table nervously walked out of the room with his crush.

9:00 PM – Dorm 666

Everyone was in their pajamas and was ready for movie night (don't ask me why 5 frat guys have a movie night).

"Which porno should we watch tonight?" Vegeta asked (Oh, that's why).

"I'm feeling a little old-school tonight..." Raditz said, "Ron Jeremy."

"The grandaddy of porn it is!" Vegeta said as he pulled a box out from under his bunk.

"You guys can search through that..." Marcellous said as he got up, "I'm gonna go check on Table and Clare."

9:15 PM – Hallway

Marcellous was at Clare's dorm, and he was about to open the door. He put his hand on the doorknob, turned the handle, and opened the door.

"**OH MY GOD!!!"**

His scream was so loud that the guys in Dorm 666 heard it.

"That was Marcellous!" Spencer said, "He's not the one to scream, this mus be serious!"

"Come on!" Raditz said, "This is the best part!"

Then they all got up and ran to Marcellous' location....

….but Raditz turned back halfway.

"RADITZ!!"

"Damn it!"

"What's wrong?" Vegeta asked, "What did you see?"

Marcellous was curled up in a fetal position on the floor, and he was crying. "It's not right!" he bawled as he gestured toward Clare's room.

Clare was on top of Table.

She was wearing a dominatrix suit.

Table was tied down to the bed.

He had a gag in his mouth.

He was naked.

Vegeta could do nothing but stare. "..That is so fucked up."

Goku sighed. "You guys are so late...." He said, "Halloween was almost a month ago."

Spencer was still emotionless. "My dark heart just got a little darker."

Raditz just showed up, "Hey guys, what happen-Oh, snap."

"What?" Clare asked.

"...I like my men submissive."


	48. Christmas Special: A College Carol

**Happy Holidays, guys!**

**Before I begin this chapter, I just want you guys to take notice of something.**

**With the release of Chapter 50, this story changed its rating from T to M. I noticed that DBZ College was getting way too explicit for something that was supposed to be Rated T, so I took it up a notch. I'm pretty sure you guys noticed (and laughed with) Chapter 50, which (to me) was noticeably more adult than usual. So just make sure you guys are ready from this point on. I thought Chapter 50 should be a great moment in DBZ College history and it was. It marked the era of a more edgy turn. Don't worry though, I won't be all sex jokes and adult humor from here on out. I'll still be dramatic and romantic and most of all, entertaining.**

**Enjoi!**

* * *

7:38 PM – City Streets

Vegeta was walking the streets, occasionally browsing through the store windows. He wasn't interested in buying anything, however.

"_Damn Christmas."_ he thought, _"There's no point in it. We all come together to give each other crappy gifts, and then we all go back to hating each other."_

As he was walking, he came across an alley with two homeless children in it.

"E-excuse me, mister..." one of the orphans asked, "d-Do you have any money?"

"We just need two dollars.." the other said, "...and maybe we might be able to buy a blanket..."

"Go piss off." Vegeta said. "I know where to find the homeless soup kitchen, but you don't deserve the words of someone like me." With that. Vegeta continued his journey.

"_I can't believe those two little assholes."_ Vegeta thought again, _"How dare they think that it's okay to just stop me and talk to me?!"_

"Hey! Stop him!" yelled an elderly shop owner as he pointed to a young teen running toward Vegeta, a bag full of (stolen) goods under his arm. Vegeta simply stepped aside as the young man rushed by.

"Why didn't you stop that guy?" the shop owner asked, "He just got away with $250 worth of stuff!"

"It's not my problem." Vegeta said, "Maybe you should buy a security system."

8:15 PM – Dorm 666

Vegeta just walked in to Dorm 666, and his fellow frats were busy getting jolly (no homo).

"Hey Vegeta!" Goku said as he was mixing some batter in the kitchen, "How was your day?"

"You're my roommate, not my wife, damnit." Vegeta said as he dusted the snow off his coat and hung it up.

"Come on, man." Raditz said, "At least try to be happy for Christmas."

"You should have read my thinking process in the beginning of this chapter."

"What?"

"Nothing."

Marcellous was surrounded by a mountain of video games. "Christmas is so cash!"

"Where did you get all those?"

"GameStop!" Marcellous cheered, "Power to the Players!" (**LIFE TIP: **Never trade in games at GameStop. They will rip you off so badly.)

Spencer was sitting in the corner by the window, staring out into the snow.

"What, no dark soliloquy to accompany your dark gaze?" Vegeta asked as he looked at Spencer.

"..As my dark, onyx eyes stare out into the cold, dark emptiness of the void known as night, I-"

"Damn, do you think of these on the spot, or do you pre-write them?"

"As the gears in my mind begin to spin and the cogs begin to turn, I concoct these delicate mental notes that express the desires of my inner perso-"

"Oh, go steal someone's soul for God's sake."

Then Santa came through the door. "Merry Christmas!"

"Dad, just knock it off." Raditz sighed.

"I'm not your dad, I'm Santa!"

"Your my dad-"

"Santa!"

"Look, a homeless child being coerced into non-consensual anal sex by an escaped convict on a life sentence for quadruple child rape and murder!"

"Really?" Santa asked as he peered out the window, "HELICOPTER PARENT, AWAY!!"

Then Santa crashed though the window.

"BLACKHAWK DOWN!!! BLACKHAWK DOWN!!!"

"Funny you should say that..." Vegeta said, "Can you believe that these two homeless kids had the balls to ask me for money?"

"What did you do?" Goku asked.

"I told them to piss off."

"Oh, come on." Marcellous said. "That was cold."

"That's horrible, even by my standards." Spencer said.

"It's their own fault that they're homeless, anyway."

"That's just unnecessary." Raditz said. "Karma is gonna kick your ass."

"What did you want me to do?"

"It isn't gonna help immediately, but if everyone does it, it can help."

"How is being nice to bums gonna help me?"

"It wont help you..." Raditz said, "But it will help to..."

**Heal the world!  
Make it a better place!  
For you and for me and the entire human race!  
There are people dying,  
If you care enough for the living,  
Make a better place for  
You and for me! **

Raditz began to dance as if he was Michael Jackson.

**If you want to know why,  
There's a love that cannot lie.  
Love is strong,  
It only cares for joyful givin-**

All the occupants of the room then knocked Raditz out.

"What is it with him and MJ?" Goku asked, "I'll admit I love MJ too, but this is just too far."

"Did you see what he did when he found out MJ died?" Marcellous asked, "He had just bought tickets to the This Is It concert."

"That's it?" Spencer asked.

"All 50 of them!"

"Where did he get that much money?"

"Bardock's pension."

"How did Bardock get pension?" Vegeta asked.

"Him and your father served in the Vietnam War."

"They did?"

"Go read the last half of Chapter 24."

"What?"

"Nothing."

2:00 AM – Dorm 666

All the members of Dorm 666 were sound asleep...or passed out due to high alcohol consumption. Just then, a knock began to sound from the door.

"...Uhhhh..."

(knock)

"..What...."

(knock knock)

"..Coming..."

(KNOCK)

Vegeta got up and opened the door. "What do you..."

"..OH MY-"

Whoever it was grabbed Vegeta and closed the door.

"What are you doing here?" Vegeta asked, "You're supposed to be dead!"

"Just let me explain-"

"I have to tell Marcellous!"

"No, don't-"

"Why can't I tell him his father is here?"

It was true, Takeo was standing right in front of Vegeta.

"I'm dead, but you can't tell anyone."

"Why not?"

"You're the only one that can see me."

"Why is that?"

"I'm the Ghost of Christmas Past."

"..Are you serious?" Vegeta laughed, "Don't make me laugh!"

"You were so cruel to those kids in the street, but you used to be just like them..."

"Woah, what's happening?!"

_Flashback_

_December 25th, 1993_

_Takeo and Vegeta were standing on the outside of a house._

"_Do you remember this house?" Takeo asked._

"_...It's the house where me and my brother used to live...where my father was never home."_

"_Let's take a closer look."_

_They both walked closer to the house and looked though a window._

_A 6-year-old Vegeta was sitting on the couch with a teddy bear, wrapped up in a blanket and watching TV._

"_..Why am I watching The Goof Troop?" Vegeta asked._

"_Just watch."_

_Little Vegeta was crying. "I wish my dad and me were close like that...." he sniffled. "..Why does he never hug me? Doesn't he love me?"_

"_Oh god..." Vegeta said, "Is this the time where I.."_

_Little Vegeta turned to his teddy bear. "Teddy..promise me we'll always be a family..."_

"_Damn...." Vegeta sighed, "I was hoping I would never remember that."_

"_It's actually very touching." Takeo said._

"_That's why."_

_End Flashback_

Vegeta and Takeo were back in the Hallway.

"You see?" Takeo asked, "You used to be in the same position as those two kids you left behind."

"What was that supposed to teach me?"

"That is for you to figure out."

Vegeta turned around to open the door. "By the way-"

Vegeta turned around, but Takeo was gone.

3:15 AM – Dorm 666

Vegeta tried to sleep, but there was once more a knock on the door. Vegeta had gotten wise to this and opened the door after the first knock.

"Who is-"

Vegeta looked down and saw nothing but a gift box. All of a sudden, a little man popped out of the box. His skin was all white and he had rosy red cheeks. He was wearing black pants with a green sweater and he was wearing a yarmulke.

"..Just who, or what are you?" Vegeta asked.

"Hi!" he said, "My name is Chiaotzu, and I'm the Ghost of Christmas Present, hence the gift!"

"..Exactly how long have you been in that box?" Vegeta asked, "You look like you haven't seen sunlight in epochs."

Chiaotzu blinked and Vegeta was slammed into the wall.

"Oh Lord, not this again..."

3:16 AM – Christmas Party

Vegeta and Chiaotzu were standing outside a bar, looking inside.

"Do you notice anything?" Chiaotzu asked.

"...My brother is about to give a toast..."

"Exactly."

Vegeta looked around. "..Have you ghosts taken notice of the fact that you teleport me outside in the middle of a winter night?"

"Quiet!"

Inside the bar, Table was about to make a Christmas Eve toast.

"I'd like to toast to..my brother." Table said. "He might not be the best of people, and he might not have been the best brother...but I love him."

"..What is this supposed to prove to me?" Vegeta asked.

"People love you, even though you're a jackass."

"...Can you send me back, now?"

4:00 AM – Dorm 666

Vegeta woke up and answered the door, after it was knocked upon once again.

"Who's there?" Vegeta asked.

The lights flickered on and off, and a figure in a hooded robe appeared out of nowhere.

"Let me guess, Christmas Yet to Come?"

The figure took off his hood. "You are-"

Vegeta punched the Ghost of Christmas Future in the face, flooring him.

"Stop coming back, Trunks."

4:05 AM – Dorm 666

Vegeta didn't even go back to bed as the next ghost appeared.

"Please don't be Trunks."

"I'm not."

"Okay."

"Let's see your future, should you continue on this path of self-righteousness..."

_**Flash...forward?**_

_**December 25th, 2019**_

_**A slightly older Vegeta was walking down the street on Christmas when he came across a thug in the street.**_

"_**Yo man, you got 2 bills?" the thug asked.**_

"_**Piss off."**_

"_**What?"**_

"_**Piss off, you waste of oxygen." Vegeta said, "You don't deserve my words."**_

"_**Yo man, you better take that back."**_

"_**Or else what?"**_

_**The thug took out a gun and shot Vegeta twice in the chest. Then he walked up to him and stole his wallet.**_

"_**Merry Christmas, mothafucka!"**_

"_**Oh God!" (Present) Vegeta said, "I got shot by a thug who stole my wallet!"**_

"_**Is that all you've taken notice of?"**_

"_**So far..."**_

"_**Watch more."**_

_**Then a dog walked over to (Future) Vegeta and peed on him.**_

"_**OH GOD!! TAKE ME BACK!!! TAKE ME BACK!!!"**_

_**The ghost was gone.**_

"_**NOOOOOOOO!!!!"**_

_**

* * *

**_"Vegeta!"

"Noo...."

"Vegeta!"

"NOOOOOO...."

"Wake up, you jackass!" Raditz said as he slapped Vegeta.

"..What happened?" Vegeta asked.

"You were having a nightmare." Marcellous said, "It's Christmas."

"It is?"

"Yeah."

"Come closer..." Vegeta said as Goku motioned closer to him.

"What?"

"**....MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!"**

Goku was now deaf and borderline incontinent.

Vegeta rushed out the door, to find his (hungover) brother.

"Uhhh...I drank to much last night..."

"**MERRY CHRISTMAS!!"**

Table was now deaf and borderline incontinent.

Vegeta ran out the door and over to the store, the same one that was robbed the previous night.

"What do you want?" the store owner asked.

Vegeta took out a $100 bill. "Give me the best blanket you have!"

The store owner gave him a blanket.

"Keep the change!" Vegeta said as he handed him the $100. **"MERRY CHRISTMAS!!"**

The store owner was _already_ borderline deaf and incontinent.

Vegeta ran over to the alley where the two homeless kids were.

"Hello, mister..." one of the orphans said.

Vegeta handed them the blanket and $50. "Go buy yourselves a meal over at Olive Garden!"

"Thank you, mister!"

"**MERRY CHRISTMAS!!"**

The Children were now deaf and borderline incontinent.

Vegeta ran out into the street.

"**MERRY CHRISTM-"**

Then Vegeta got run over by a beer truck.

* * *

**Happy Holidays again, everyone. As my gift, I'll give you a little insight into the first saga of 2010!**

**Marcellous.**

**Drago.**

**The Rematch.**


	49. Important Announcement!

**Hey guys, The Ultimate Saiyan here.**

**I've got a really important announcement to make.**

**I've decided to scrap the Marcellous-Drago Rematch Saga.**

**It seemed like a good idea at first, but now it's just a pain. I'll be deleting Chapters 52-56 and replacing them with space absorbers, as I did with my previous re-write.**

**The next chapter will continue on from Chapter 51, skipping the whole saga.**

**As far as the plot goes, The Marcellous-Drago Rematch Saga NEVER HAPPENED.**

**Thanks.**

**The Ultimate Saiyan, out.**


	50. Truth or Dare: Saiyan Style

**Hey guys, sorry about the lack of updates, recently, I've been hit with Writer's Block and I've uploaded a few oneshots, make sure to check those out.**

**PS – I went and revised some of my old script-formatted stories. Check those out as well.**

**PSS, as declared previously, the Marcellous-Drago rematch saga was scrapped, so just pretend it never happened.**

* * *

2:00 PM – Dorm 666

The cardinal four members of Dorm 666 were sitting around, doing absolutely nothing.

"Man..." Raditz started, "Why does it feel like we've been sitting here for months?"

"Because the damn author is too fucking lazy to do anything." Vegeta sighed.

Then he was struck by lightning, despite the fact that they were inside.

Raditz began to laugh. "That's what you get!"

Damn right.

Marcellous came out of the bathroom. "Why do I hear my voice coming out of nowhere?"

"I know," Goku began, "That voice sounds just like you."

Shit. I'm leaving before you find out who I am.

Then Goku began singing the "Who Are You" by The Who.

Spencer walked in with a glass bottle in his hand. "Can someone tell me why this was just lying out in front of the door?

"It's probably an important pot device." Marcellous guessed.

"What?"

"Nothing."

Vegeta had finally recovered. "Hey, we can play Spin the Bottle!"

Raditz slapped Vegeta over the back of his head.

"No, not like that." Vegeta rubbed his head, "The Truth or Dare version."

"That's fine."

Then they all sat in a circle and put the bottle in the center. Vegeta took the first spin and it landed at Raditz.

"Truth or dare?" The Saiyan Prince asked.

"Knowing the dirty minds you all have, truth."

"Pussy." Vegeta scoffed, "Is it true...the reason you go to the bathroom EVERY SINGLE NIGHT...is because you masturbate?"

Raditz turned beetroot red as the other guys began to laugh.

"...Yeah..."

Everyone laughed harder, except Goku.

"Wait...so the white crusty stuff on the counter...wasn't leftover toothpaste?"

"..No."

Goku screamed. "I WAS USING THAT!"

The laughing only increased as Raditz spun the bottle, which landed on Goku.

"Truth or dare, brother?"

"I'm no sissy!" Goku cheered, "Dare!"

"Go use the leftover "toothpaste" from last night!" Raditz laughed.

Goku paled as he slowly walked toward the bathroom.

"It's a good thing we had meat last night!" Vegeta laughed, "That makes it taste worse!"

"Wait..." Marcellous began, "How would you know what meat makes semen taste like?"

Vegeta silenced himself. "...Let's move on."

Spencer spun the bottle, only to have it land in-between Marcellous and Vegeta.

"So who's it gonna be?" Raditz asked.

Spencer gave a sinister smile. "That denotes a double-dare..."

Then Table ran in. "Hey guys, I heard Goku scream and-"

"Get out." Vegeta snapped.

"No..." Marcellous smiled, "Let him stay..."

Then they all smiled.

Goku walked out of the bathroom, terrified.

Table slowly sat down as Goku re-joined the circle as well.

Spencer re-spun the bottle, only to have it land in the exact same position as before. Both Marcellous and Vegeta sighed, knowing the evil mind Spencer had.

"...Make out for a whole minute."

"Woah, woah woah." Marcellous said, "New rule, no homo shit."

"And that rule will go into affect right after you make out." Spencer said, "Now get to it."

* * *

Marcellous was currently dry heaving, while Vegeta was drinking (yes, drinking) mouthwash.

Table laughed as he looked at his phone. "Hell yeah I wanna upload this video to Facebook!"

Marcellous immediately dived toward the bottle and spun it, making it land on Table.

"TRUTH OR DARE?"

"Dare, man."

"DON'T UPLOAD THE VIDEO."

Table put his phone down. "You win...this time."

Professor Bardock walked into the room. "Is everything alright?" he asked, "I was just going to meet up with Headmaster Frieza when- Hey, are you playing truth or dare?"

They all nodded affirmatively.

Bardock giggled like a schoolgirl and sat down in the circle. "I am SO in this game!"

Table spun the bottle and it landed on Bardock.

"Truth or dare, professor?"

"Only pussies pick truth!" Bardock cheered, "Dare all the fucking way!"

"Blow off your meeting with Headmaster Frieza."

Bardock scoffed, "You little pussy, that's the best you can do?"

"Okay dad, calm down." Raditz said.

Bardock stood up. "What the fuck do you know? Your legs are smoother than your mom's!"

Raditz subtly felt his legs, oddly savoring their smooth feeling.

"Seriously dad, calm down a little."

"Shut up, Kakarot, "Bardock blasted, "I dropped you when you were little!"

Goku subtly began to cry.

Bardock grabbed a beer out of the fridge and began smacking it into his head. "YEAHHHH!"

"I think he's taking truth or dare a little extremely." Spencer whispered to Table.

Then Bardock passed out due to blood loss, as he ignored the fact that the beer can had left multiple cuts all over his forehead.

* * *

The circle was now reformed, and the game was still ongoing. Bardock had his head bandaged up as he spun the bottle, which landed on Spencer.

"Dare." Spencer sighed, not waiting to be asked.

"Go a whole day without making a dark soliloquy." Bardock smiled.

FINALLY. Thank you for saving me the trouble of writing one of those out!

"..Who said that?" Bardock asked, "And why does he sound like Marcellous?"

"I..I have no idea." Marcellous said.

Then Headmaster Frieza walked in, pissed off. "Bardock!" he shouted, "You were supposed to meet me 45 min- hey, is that Truth or Dare?"

They all nodded positively.

Headmaster Frieza skipped over to the circle, giggling like a schoolgirl the whole time. "I remember when me and my college buddies used to play this game!"

"You had friends in college?" Goku asked, to a laughing response.

"I'll have you know..." Frieza started, "I was very popular in my college years."

"I'm sure you had a very exciting youth." Marcellous started, "Then the meteor hit, and all the dinosaurs died..."

Frieza spun the bottle, and it landed on Bardock.

"Truth or Dare?"

"Dare," Bardock started, "Just make sure I don't flip out."

"Pussy." Frieza scoffed. "...Call your wife and tell her that you're leaving her for Vegeta."

"HEY!"

"Chill out, Veg-head."

"Hey!" Marcellous laughed, "You just learned slang, gramps!"

Bardock reluctantly took out his phone and dialed a number.

"_Hey babe, what's up?"_

"Fasha...I have something to tell you."

"_What is it, honey?"_

Goku was silencing everyone else from laughing as Bardock sighed.

"I...I'm leaving you for Vegeta..."

"_WHAT? YOU SICK BASTARD! YOU'RE OLD ENOUGH TO BE HIS FATHER!"_

"No, honey,it's just a da-"

"_THAT'S IT! PACK YOUR THINGS, I NEVER WANNA SEE YOU AGAIN!"_

"Honey, just listen to-"

"_AND I'M TAKING THE BOYS!"_

Bardock sighed as he put his phone away. "Guess I'm sleeping on the couch tonight."

"At least you get angry sex." Vegeta commented.

"That's true." Bardock agreed as he cracked a tiny smile.

"Angry sex?" Frieza asked.

"Yeah." Raditz explained, "It's a Saiyan tradition. Usually after couples fight, they have angry sex to make up. They still do all the screaming, except they scream obscenities."

Bardock blinked at his son. "How would you know all this?" he asked, "You're a virgin."

Raditz blushed. "I've seen it before." he explained, "I can hear your bed's headboard breaking when you and mom have angry sex, like you will tonight..."

Bardock blushed.

"Whenever Kakarot and his woman have sex, She's the man..."

Goku blushed.

"Vegeta and his woman have angry sex, even when they're not angry..."

Vegeta smiled out of pride.

"Marcellous and his woman usually find other ways of dealing with their fights, because he's a pussy who was completely traumatized by his first time."

Marcellous blushed. "I was drunk and you know it..."

"Table and his woman are completely kinky about everything."

Table blushed as a ball gag fell out of his pocket.

"...Why the hell do you carry a ball gag around with you?" asked Vegeta.

"..Tonight's our anniversary..."

There was a knock on the door, which Spencer got up to answer.

The entire male population of the college was standing in the hallway.

"So we heard you guys were playing Truth or Dare..."


	51. A Challenger Kinda Appears!

**Hey guys, I just wanted to put you on notice that I decided to bump this story's rating back down to T. I noticed an EXTREME decline in this story's popularity after I raised the rating to M, so I figured it was that. After all, when most people come to the M-Rated fanfics, they're usually looking for lemon fics.**

…**.Not that I would know about where lemon fics would be found. **

**After all, this story is more-or-less just sophomoric humor, right?**

* * *

10:56 AM – Headmaster Frieza's Office

Headmaster Frieza was nonchalantly relaxing at his chair, occasionally sipping some coffee.

"Today feels like a good day." He said, "I might even give the staff a raise!"

Frieza had a strange look on his face. "Oh, that Marcellous of Dorm 666 should get lifetime passing grades!"

Frieza looked like he smelled shit. "I mean, he's so smart and charming and - you can stop now, author person who sounds like Marcellous."

Damn, why did I make you find out?

Frieza had a smug look of satisfaction on his face, until he heard a clucking sound.

"What was that?"

(Cluck!)

"Stop it."

(Cluck!)

Frieza stood up. "It's not funny."

(Cluck!)

Frieza walked over to his personal locker and opened it.

"Cluck, Cluck, Cluck!"

Frieza looked down at the caged chicken in his locker. "Who's the smartass who did this?"

He was about to lose it, until he noticed a note on the cage. He picked it up and read it.

**To Headmaster Frieza,**

**Because we know you love cocks.**

**Sincerely, D-Generation X**

**P.S – SUCK IT!**

Frieza began foaming at the mouth and steaming out of his nonexistent ears.

* * *

7:15 AM – Dorm 666

The four members of Dorm 666 (and Spencer) were laughing their asses off.

"Dude," Raditz chuckled, "You think he found out yet?"

"With all that clucking?" Marcellous asked, "He had to!"

Vegeta was laughing harder than them all. "He probably does love cocks!"

Goku stopped laughing. "Dude..."

"What if his tail is a HUGE cock?"

They all started laughing again, even Spencer had to chuckle a little.

Table walked in. "Hey guys, I heard-"

"Get out." Vegeta snapped.

Table looked sad. "I just wanted to let you guys know that I'm gonna be playable in Raging Blast 2, despite the fact that I didn't fight a single battle in the OVA I appeared in, which ultimately became my only appearance, which makes no sense for me to be in the game!"

"You're right." Spencer started, "You shouldn't even be in the game. I mean, Neiz and Doore actually fought in Cooler's Revenge, so it makes sense for them to finally catch a break."

"I agree." Marcellous began, "You shouldn't even be introduced to the American fanbase! Hatchiyack had to wait close to 20 years before we found out about him, so why don't you stop being such a selfish bastard!"

Table gained some confidence. "You're right!" he cheered, "I'm going to go protest my very existence!"

You shouldn't even exist. In fact, I think you were only created so Goku and Vegeta could have one more similarity, they both had a weakling brother.

Table gained even more confidence. "You're totally right, disembodied voice who sounds like Marcellous!" he said, "And most likely, my English voice will be completely fucked up!"

Then Table left.

Vegeta looked at Marcellous and Spencer. "Raging Blast? Playable character? OVA?" he questioned, "What the fuck are you talking about?"

"I don't know." Spencer shrugged, "The creepy voice guy made me say that."

Marcellous nodded. "Yeah, me too."

You guys are bitches, man!

* * *

12:35 PM – Headmaster Frieza's Office

Headmaster Frieza gave a sinister smile as he looked at the 8 men and 1 woman standing in front of him.

"It's a good thing I contacted that nearby college.." he chuckled, "D-Generation X will wish they never met me!"

The orange-haired leader of the group started blankly at the alien. "Whoever this D-Generation X fellows are..." he started,

"We will take their jinchuuriki...by force, if necessary."

The rest began to chuckle amongst themselves.

"And then...they will know...TRUE...Pain."

* * *

12:15 AM – Dorm 666

The guys had just got back from a night of partying, piss drunk and smelling like bourbon and (in Vegeta's case) cheap hooker sex.

"..Dude..." Raditz started, "That was the best night of my life."

Spencer started intensively at the wall. "Dude...the wall...it's so...fuzzy."

Goku ran head-first into the wall, knocking himself out.

Vegeta began to scratch his man-parts. "That bitch...she gave me crabs!"

Raditz slapped Vegeta. "Don't talk about Bulma like that!"

"...I love you."

Then Vegeta collapsed.

Marcellous drunkenly walked over to a box in the middle of the room. "Hey, it's a..."

Everyone looked at him.

"...Uhh..."

Marcellous could feel their stares burning a hole in his face.

"...What's the word I'm looking for..."

He scratched his head.

"...Box!" He said, "Yeah..."

Raditz picked it up and tried to read it. "...Something about pain..."

Spencer looked at it. "..You idiot!" he shouted, "It's covered in explosive tags!"

They all looked at each other.

"WHAT THE FU-"

Then there was an explosion.


	52. Halloween Special: FrankenFrat Boy

**Hey guys, it's time for the annual DBZ College Halloween Special, if you haven't guess already. As usual, this year's tale will borrow from traditional "scary" shit, like zombies and vampires, which I've done already. However, this year's special will be different in one MAJOR way:**

**It's actually canon to the plot!**

**Yes, I know. It's hard to believe.**

* * *

8:00 PM – College Campus

Broly was walking around the fall-oriented campus, wearing a windbreaker and occasionally kicking up leaves, but he had a scowl on his face for some reason.

"How the fuck could he play me like that?" Broly asked himself angrily, "It's not fair, damnit!"

* * *

_9:00 PM – Summer Camp (2002)_

"_Come on, Broly!" Goku cheered, "It's totally normal!"_

"_I'm not sure, Kakarot." Broly sighed, "It seems to dangerous."_

"_They won't do anything to you, I've done it millions of times!"_

"_Really?"_

"_Yeah, ask anyone!"_

"_I'm still not totally convinced..."_

"_Pussy."_

_Broly looked overly confident as he bravely walked into the womens' bath house. Goku snickered to himself as he ran away._

"_**KAKAROT!"**_

_**

* * *

**_

"**KAKAROT!" **Broly shouted as he slammed his fists into the ground. All of a sudden, he found himself to be in an alternate universe of some sort. His body was in monochrome and the ground was black while the sky was red with a black moon in it. Broly looked around until he found another man standing opposite him.

"Who...who are you?"

The man was wearing a chin-high cloak with a red sky pattern on it. He had medium-length black hair with visibly pronounced tear troughs under his very unique eyes. He did nothing but blink once at the Saiyan.

"Wallow in a sea of your deepest despairs for the next 72 hours..."

"What?"

"You're too weak."

Broly tried to run at the man, but he was unable to move, almost like he was paralyzed.

"You don't have enough hate..."

Suddenly, a giant meteor formed up in the sky.

"Holy shit!"

Broly tried his hardest to move as the meteor came close. The man disappeared as it neared impact.

* * *

The same man was standing over the unconscious Broly. A few people in the same attire as him appeared in puffs of smoke surrounding Broly. One of them with orange hair and multiple piercings walked up.

"Good work, Itachi." He said, putting his hand on the man's shoulder, "This one will be perfect for destroying the men of Dorm 666, and their little emo friend."

Itachi gave the man a death glare at the word "emo".

"...Sorry."

* * *

12:15 AM – Laboratory

The group was working inside a laboratory, with Broly situated in a incubator in the center of the room, still unconscious.

The same pierced man was observing everyone else. "Kakuzu!" he called out, "Combat strength."

A man wearing a mask with oddly-colored eyes looked at him. "Dangerously high."

"Hidan, inner anger."

A man with purple eyes and platinum, slicked back hair looked at him. "Pretty fuckin' high."

"Kisame, destructive capabilities."

A tall man with blue skin and blue, spiked-up hair looked at him with beady fish eyes. "Off the charts!"

The man smiled. "Deidara, activate the hormones."

A blonde man with a ponytail and bangs covering his left eye pulled a switch. "Shit just got real, un."

Broly immediately woke up and began to lash around. Suddenly, his muscles began to bulk up ridiculously and his hair started glowing yellow, until it began developing a green tint. The aura coming from Broly was so great it began to rapidly change the color of the air and the sky oustide.

* * *

Dorm 666 was just chilling (no pun intended) outside on this crisp autumn night, when they noticed the changing colors of the sky outside.

"Dude, look at that!" Vegeta cried as he pointed his friends toward the sky.

"Aurora Borealis?" Marcellous asked.

"That can't be." Raditz said, "We're nowhere near Alaska."

"This is crazy, man." Vegeta said as he held up a blunt, "This shit is crazy, it changes the color of the sky and shit!"

* * *

Broly's eyes were now lacking pupils and he was rapidly growing larger.

The man's eyes widened. "Zetsu!" he cried, "drench him in the culture fluid!'

A man with a Venus Flytrap-like attachment to his head and two-different colored sides of his body nodded as he flipped a switch. Immediately, Broly was detained and covered in a green slime.

The man sighed. "Damn, that was close."

Hidan snarled, "Pein, you almost got us killed, asshole!"

Pein scowled. "Watch your mouth, Hidan."

Hidan grabbed his retractable pike from inside his robe. "I'll rock you, bitch!"

Deidara smiled, "Oh, we got a situation!"

Suddenly, the container began to crack and Broly did his trademark scream.

Deidara's smile turned into a gasp. "Now we REALLY have a Situation!"

Kakuzu looked at a poster of Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino and sighed. "Damn you and your trendy, upbeat catchphrases..."

"**KAKAROT!"**

**

* * *

**

1:15 AM – Graveyard

Dorm 666 was in a graveyard for some odd reason.

"Just jump, you pussy!" Vegeta shouted at Raditz, who was perched up on top up a tomb.

"It's a pretty far jump, man!" Raditz trembled.

Goku looked into a video camera, which was being held by Marcellous. "This week on College Antics, Raditz is too much of a pussy to jump off a tomb onto a headstone and do a triple flip into the lake!

"Fuck you!" Raditz shouted, "I don't wanna disturb the dead!"

Vegeta laughed. "What are they gonna do? Pop up outta-"

Then Bio-Broly jumped up from underneath a tombstone. **"KAKAROT!"**

Marcellous pointed the camera at Bio-Broly and sighed. "Trunks, stop coming back. I'll admit it was pretty unexpected during last year's Halloween special, but now it's just painful to watch."

Raditz looked at Marcellous. "Halloween special, what the fuck?"

Then Bio-Broly started charging up a blast.

"OH SHIT!"

Then they booked it.

* * *

Goku was running for his life through the graveyard, until a hand came out and yanked him behind a tomb. He was about to scream, but he was shushed.

"What the fuck is that thing?" Vegeta asked.

"I have no idea." Marcellous sighed, "But I do know, it wants Kakarot."

Raditz grabbed Goku and was about to punch him. "Sacrifice! Sacrifice!"

"**KAKAROT!"**

They all shut up.

"What are we gonna-"

Then a nonexistent lightbulb went on above Marcellous' head. "I got it!"

* * *

Bio-Broly was still rampaging around the graveyard. **"KAKAROT!"**

"You idiot, stop that!"

"It won't stop shaking!"

"Oh, shit!"

As soon as Bio-Broly turned around, he was bombarded with beer, the liquid solidifying him and shattering his shell, leaving a naked and unconscious Broly lying there.

Marcellous was fuming. "YOU IDIOT!"

Goku could only smile. "Hey, it still worked!"

"HE WANTED KAKAROT, SO WE WERE SUPPOSED TO TRICK HIM WITH KAKAROT-BRAND BEER!"

"Hey, at least he's gone!"

Marcellous sighed. "That was supposed to be the perfect commercial...we could of gone into the beer business!"

Goku weakly chuckled. "That was your beer, too..."

Marcellous became a Super Saiyan.

Goku booked it.

Marcellous gave chase. **"KAKAROT!"**

Vegeta and Raditz followed. "Let's stop him before he kills that poor bastard."

* * *

Spencer crash landed in the graveyard, and began to frantically look around. "Don't worry guys, I'm here!" he said, "I rushed out here as soon as I heard-"

Then he saw a naked and unconscious Broly next to him.

* * *

**I know, that was kinda lame, right?**

**WELL THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON'T GIVE ANY FEEDBACK.**


	53. A Surefire Plan Part 1

**Hey guys, Ultimate Saiyan here. Now I know you guys are probably gonna say "WTF" when you read this, but I've decided to do a Table-centric saga for once.**

**Yes, that's right.**

**The Meg Griffin of DBZ College is getting his own little mini-story because honestly, that poor bastard needs it.**

**So all you need to do is sit back and watch the ejaculations (teehee!) of my wonderful mind.**

**

* * *

**

11:00 AM – Dorm 666

The guys were just chillin' out, maxin', relaxin' all cool and shootin' some B-Ball outside of the-

Sorry.

Goku was looking at himself in the mirror. "I don't know about this, Raditz."

The long-haired Saiyan sighed. "What is it with you and skinnies, Kakarot?" he asked, "They're not that bad, just ask Marcellous."

Marcellous was checking his ass out in a pair of skinny jeans. "Hot damn, I look SEXAY!"

Raditz chuckled. "You're supposed to be 'gangsta' and sag them."

Marcellous pulled his pants down until they exposed his boxers. "Get out the wayyy...pretty boy comin' through!"

Vegeta, also clad in skinny jeans, put on his fitted cap and turned up the his iPod stereo, which was blasting Soulja Boy Tell 'Em's "Pretty Boy Swag".

"_This...right here...is my...swag...all...the girls...are on me..."_

Raditz pulled up his skinny jeans to reveal his own boxers and a studded belt and began to dance, while Marcellous began to pass out do-rags. They all started dancing...

….until Table walked in.

"Get ou-"

"No, let him stay." Marcellous started, "What's wrong? You look sad."

Table sniffled a little and sat down on one of the beds. "Me and Clare broke up..."

Raditz looked shocked. "Why?"

Table was about to cry. "S-she said I-i wasn't m-man enough for her..."

Goku raised an eyebrow. "Well...you _were_ the bottom in the BDSM stuff..."

Table began to cry a river. "She was my first girlfriend! I NEED her!"

Vegeta scoffed. "Foolish little brother, there will always be more girls."

"No, Vegeta." Table wept, "I seriously need her, she was the only one who knew _just_ how to tickle my balls so-"

"Stop, please." Marcellous asked. "I don't want to hear about your latex-bound sexual escapades."

Vegeta started reading the paper. "...Marcellous, come here for a second."

Marcellous walked over to Vegeta and the two began to converse in private while Goku and Raditz comforted Meg- I mean, Table.

"Clare put an ad in the college paper for a new maid." Vegeta whispered.

"Really?" Marcellous asked, "It makes sense, she's always away."

"...Table really wants her back in his life."

"I know, I feel sorry for him."

Vegeta sighed. "Have you ever seen Mrs. Doubtfire before?"

"Yeah, of course." Marcellous said as his eyes widened shortly afterward. "You're not thinking..."

"Oh yeah."

Marcellous couldn't help but smile. "That's not a bad idea, actually. Read the requirements."

"Lots of experience...female...English...good at cooking..."

"I gotta admit, Table makes a pretty mean meatloaf."

"So should we tell this to him?"

"Later. Let's keep this between you and me. Raditz has a big mouth and Goku's too plain stupid."

"I got you."

Marcellous and Vegeta turned around.

"Hey guys?" Marcellous asked, "Could you run out and get some...German sausage?"

Raditz raised an eyebrow. "..Why?"

"...Oh, so you don't want an awesome sausage night. I got you."

Goku and Raditz were already gone.

Table turned to his brother. "Sausage-"

Vegeta had somehow acquired some dresses, plaster, wigs, and other costume props, and Marcellous was matching up cheeks, noses, wrinkles, contacts and the like to Table's face.

"What are you guys doing?"

Marcellous handed Table the paper ad. "Have you ever seen Mrs. Doubtfire?"

* * *

The Akatsuki member Kakuzu was spying on Dorm 666. "Pein-sama, when should we strike?"

Pein sighed as he lounged about on the couch. "Not today, Kakuzu. It's Table's special this time."

Itachi raised an eyebrow. "Special? This time? What are you talking about?"

Pein handed Itachi a book titled "DBZ College". "Read this; you'll get it when you finish."

* * *

10:15 PM – Bathroom

Table was trying on his new mask.

"So what do you think?" he asked .

Marcellous and Vegeta could only look and smile.

"...Well?"

"Any closer..." Vegeta started, "and you'd be...mom."


	54. A Surefire Plan Part 2

2:45 PM – Hallway

Marcellous, Vegeta and Table were standing outside in the hallway, in front of a door. Table was in his Ms. Surefire disguise.

"I don't know, guys..." Table sighed, "I don't think this is gonna work."

"Come on!" Marcellous said, "You look exactly like a girl!"

"But what if this doesn't work out?" Table asked, "She'll never forgive me. I should just give up now."

"Brother..." Vegeta started, "Me and Marcellous have something to tell you, because we knew this was going to happen."

"Really?"

Marcellous and Vegeta looked at each other, then they broke out into song.

**Don't stop! Don't stop! We're in luck now!**

**Don't stop! Keep your spirit proud,**

**And ride upon the wind, all we have to do is go!**

**Don't stop! Don't stop! We're in luck now,**

**Don't stop! There's so much to be found!**

**We can find paradise!**

**All we have to do is go, go!**

**Free your soul...**

**DRAGON SOUL!**

Table had an anime sweatdrop.

* * *

Pein was pacing around in the Akatsuki layer. "Kakuzu," he said, "What are they doing now?"

Kakuzu was using binoculars to spy into the College. "...Marcellous and Vegeta are singing the theme song of Dragon Ball Z Kai to some old lady in the hallway."

Pein's eyes widened. "What version?"

"Sean Schemmel."

Deidara gasped. "That's only on the DVD version, un!"

Hidan clenched his fists. "Those tricky bastards!"

Itachi ran in, the copy of "DBZ College" in his hand. "THAT WAS THE SINGLE MOST AWESOME THING I'VE EVER READ IN THE HISTORY OF FOREVER."

Everyone looked at the Uchiha.

"Itachi-san..." Kisame started, "Are you alright?"

"I don't know." Itachi said, "It felt almost like someone was forcing to say that.."

"How could this happen?" asked Sasori.

Itachi scanned through the novel. "In here, everyone makes mention of the author telling the third-person view, and he seems to add his own commentary whenever he sees fit...almost like a god."

Oh, damnit! You guys found out!

"Who said that?"

* * *

Marcellous and Vegeta had stopped singing, and Table was about to enter.

"Now remember," Marcellous said, "I'll be helping out with a tiny intercom, disguised as your hearing aid."

"Got it!" Table said as he tapped his ear.

Marcellous was convulsing on the ground in a matter of seconds.

"Whoops..." Table chuckled, "Too loud..."

Vegeta picked him up. "You go, we got this."

Table opened the door and saw Clare sitting there.

"Hello," she said, "I'm guessing you're here because of the ad?"

Table had a faux English accent. "Why yes, dear. I am."

"Have a seat." Clare pulled out a piece of paper. "If you don't mind, I'll be asking you some questions."

"Of course, dear."

Clare cleared her throat. "First, what's your name?

Table whispered into his microphone. "Marcellous, what's my name?"

"_Euphegenia!"_

"H-H-Hugevagina!"

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Euphegenia, dear." Table said, "Euphegenia Surefire."

"That's lovely." Clare said as she looked down into her paper. "How old are you?"

"65 years young."

"Finally...tell me a little about yourself."

Table/Ms. Surefire cleared his/her throat. "I was born in 1947 in Blackpool, England. I was quite popular in my school days, and I was the captain of the girls' football team in 1962. By football, I mean what the Americans call soccer, dear. I worked as a nanny for the McIntyre family and their lovely three children. But they eventually grew up, as all children do. I had grown quite attached to them, but we must all say goodbye. I moved here to live with my cousin until I can find some sort on income on my own."

Clare looked pleased. "That was a very touching story. I think you just found that income."

Table smiled. "When can I start, love?"

"About a week or so."

Table got up and shook Clare's hand. "I was a pleasure to meet you."

Clare smiled. "Same here."

Table walked out of the door. Clare sat back down and though to herself. "She seems so familiar...why do I feel like I've met her before?"


	55. Musical Interlude!

**Hey guys, sorry I didn't have a Christmas Special this year. I was too burned out to write one, and on top of that you guys didn't vote on the pole. I'm starting to think nobody likes this fic anymore.**

**But in other words, I present to you what is quite possible the greatest amount of filler you will ever see in this story. Enjoy!**

* * *

3:41 PM – Boston, Massachusetts, USA, North America, Real World

There was a teenager sitting at his computer. His jet black hair was tied into a ponytail that ended near the middle of his shoulder blades. He was wearing a plain white tee with black skinny jeans and had a fresh pair of Air Jordan sneakers next to him.

"Hmm..." he sighed, "DBZ College didn't have a Christmas Special this year. My fault."

Holy shit, you're The Ultimate Saiyan?

"Yeah, you surprised?" the teen asked.

Wait...does this mean I'm talking to myself?

"Pretty much, I guess." he answered, "Except I can control everything you say and you can't do anything."

That's bullshit, no you ca- I KICK DOGS IN THE BALLS.

….Damn you. So what do you have planned for this chapter?

"...I just wrote my fucking comments on the top of the page."

...Oh. What do you mean by filler?

"Musical interlude!"

...That's awesome.

"Let's go, man!" The Ultimate Saiyan said (to himself/myself?) as he began typing.

* * *

7:00 AM – Dorm 666

Vegeta just woke up to the sound of birds chirping outside his window, even though birds are supposed to fly south for the winter...but do they have the same types of pigeons in Japan?

You know what? Fuck it. I'm the author and what I say go-

Vegeta cleared his throat. "Are you done...ranting to yourself?"

Oh, sorry. Anyway, Vegeta got up and put his usual casual clothing on. He walked outside into the sunshine and took a deep breath.

**I see the way you look at me  
You envy me and it's killing you,  
And you know it makes me smile when I look in the mirror  
Thinkin' how good it is to be king **

Vegeta had a surprised look on his face. Was the author actually going to make him sing?

**And don't you wish you were me?  
The King of all you see  
Don't you wish you were me?  
It ain't that easy  
don't think you'll ever be,  
everything a man should be  
Cause don't you wish you were me?  
Keep dreamin', you'll never be me **

Vegeta smiled as he continued to walk along the campus. This song actually fitted him! He walked up to the nearby Turles and began to unleash his A Capella catastrophe.

**Too soon, you'll be a memory  
There for all to see, just illusion  
And sometimes it makes me laugh when  
I see your reaction  
Knowing that I've become mighty**

**And don't you wish you were me?  
The King of all you see  
don't you wish you were me?  
It ain't that easy  
don't think you'll ever be,  
everything a man should be  
Cause Don't you wish you were me?  
Keep dreamin', you'll never be me **

Turles had a confused look on his face as Vegeta continued his merry walk.

**Inside my mind there is a freak  
That drives me on past all defeat  
You'll never have, you can't instill  
The power of my iron will **

Vegeta began to pose as he finished off his song.

**And don't you wish you were me?  
The King of all you see  
****Don't you wish you were me?  
It ain't that easy  
Don't think you'll ever be,  
Everything a man should be  
cause don't you wish you were me?  
Keep dreamin', you'll never be me**

Vegeta smiled. "Hot damn, I should sing more ofte- You can stop controlling me now."

Damn it!

* * *

9:00 AM – Park

Marcellous and Raditz were sitting on a park bench together, pondering something.

"Okay..." Raditz started, "Radiza and Rae obviously didn't like out gifts, so we have to apologize to them. How should we do so?"

Marcellous pulled out two scraps of paper and handed one to Raditz. "I wrote some poems for us, but I don't think we're gonna be needing them."

"Why not?"

"I don't know, man. I just have a gut feeling."

"Look, here they come!"

Marcellous and Raditz stood up as their respective girlfriends walked up to them. Raditz went in for a kiss on Radiza, but she pushed him away.

"Are you done..." Rae asked, "Wasting our time?"

Marcellous nervously pulled out his poem and prepared to read it.

"A crappy apology." Radiza scoffed. "I knew it. Let's go."

The sisters were about to leave, but then music began to play out of nowhere. Marcellous and Raditz were shocked. Raditz began to sing first, with Marcellous dropping any lyrics he could.

**This life don't last forever (hold my hand)  
So tell me what we're waiting for (hold my hand)  
We're better off being together (hold my hand)  
Than being miserable alone (hold my hand) **

All of a sudden, Marcellous began to take lead!

**Cause I've been there before  
And you've been there before  
But together we can be alright.  
Cause when it gets dark and when it gets cold  
We hold each other till we see the sunlight!**

Radiza and Rae sat down and began to listen to their boyfriends singing together.

**Hold my hand  
Baby I promise that I'll do  
All I can  
Things will get better if you just hold my hand  
Nothing can come between us if you just hold,  
hold my, hold, hold my, hooold, hold my hand. **

**The nights are getting darker (hold my hand)  
And there's no peace inside (hold my hand)  
So why make our lives harder (hold my hand)  
By fighting love, tonight. (sooooo) **

**Cause I've been there before  
And you've been there before  
But together we can be alright (alright)  
Cause when it gets dark and when it gets cold **

**We hold each other till we see the sunlight**

**So if you just hold my hand  
Baby I promise that I'll do (If you just, If you just)  
All I can  
Things will get better if you just hold my hand (yeahh)  
Nothing can come between us if you just hold,  
hold my, hold, hold my, hooold, hold my hand. **

The sisters were to the point of tears as Marcellous and Raditz began to dance in a way similar to Michael Jackson.

**I can tell you're tired of being lonely (yeahhh)  
Take my hand don't let go baby hold me (hold mee)  
Come to me and let me be your one and only (hold my haand)  
So I can make it alright til' the morning (hold my hand)**

**I can tell you're tired of being lonely (hold my hand)  
Take my hand don't let go baby hold me (hold mee)  
Come to me and let me be your one and only (one and only)  
So I can make it alright til' the morning (hold my hand)**

By this point, the whole park was watching the two singing Saiyans.

**Hold my hand (yeahhh)  
Baby I promise (hold my hand) that I'll do  
All I can (hold my hand)  
Things will get better (oohhhhoooo) if you just hold my hand (ooooo)  
****Nothing can come between us if you just hold,  
hold my, hold, hold my, hooold, hold my hand.**

As they finished singing, Rae ran up to Marcellous and kissed him. Radiza tackled Raditz to the ground.

"I can't take in any more, baby!" She moaned, "I need you inside me!"

Raditz smiled in joy as she unbuckled his pants. "Marcellous! I'm finally gonna lose my virginity!"

Marcellous chuckled. "Too bad this is filler and not canon to the main story."

"Damn it!"

Rae looked at her man. "Filler? Canon? Main story? What are you talking about?"

* * *

12:00 PM – Dorm 666

Table was frantically pacing around the dorm. "Dad's gonna be here any minute!" he panicked, "I'll never be good enough for him! What do I do?"

Then a nonexistent lightbulb went off over his head. "...I'll do the most Saiyan-ish thing ever...then he'll have to respect me like does Vegeta!"

Right after that, King Vegeta walked in. "Oh...it's you."

**You can try and read my lyrics off of this paper before I lay 'em  
But you won't take this thing out these words before I say 'em  
Cause ain't no way I'm let you stop me from causing mayhem  
When I say 'em or do something I do it, I don't give a damn  
What you think, I'm doing this for me, so fuck the world  
Feed it beans, it's gassed up, if a thing's stopping me  
I'mma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly  
And all those who look down on me I'm tearing down your balcony  
No if ands or buts don't try to ask him why or how can he  
From Infinite down to the last Relapse album he's still shittin'  
Whether he's on salary, paid hourly  
Until he bows out or he shits his bowels out of him  
Whichever comes first, for better or worse  
He's married to the game, like a fuck you for Christmas  
His gift is a curse, forget the earth he's got the urge  
To pull his dick from the dirt and fuck the whole universe**

King Vegeta's eyes widened. His younger son was actually rapping to him.

**I'm not afraid to take a stand  
Everybody come take my hand  
We'll walk this road together, through the storm  
Whatever weather, cold or warm  
Just let you know that, you're not alone  
Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road**

Table was suddenly dressed like a thug! He twisted his fitted cap around his head as he danced in his wifebeater. His sagged baggy jeans shook to the rhythm as Table rubbed the solid gold 24-karat medallion around his neck.

**Ok quit playin' with the scissors and shit, and cut the crap  
I shouldn't have to rhyme these words in the rhythm for you to know it's a rap  
You said you was king, you lied through your teeth  
For that fuck your feelings, instead of getting crowned you're getting capped  
And to the fans, I'll never let you down again, I'm back  
I promise to never go back on that promise, in fact  
Let's be honest, that last Relapse CD was "ehhhh"  
Perhaps I ran them accents into the ground...**

**Relax, I ain't going back to that now  
All I'm trynna say is get back, click-clack BLAOW  
Cause I ain't playin' around  
There's a game called circle and I don't know how  
I'm way too up to back down  
But I think I'm still trynna figure this crap out  
Thought I had it mapped out but I guess I didn't  
This fucking black cloud still follow's me around  
But it's time to exercise these demons  
These motherfuckers are doing jumping jacks now! **

Table smiled as he realized that he just ripped on the fact that his father was called "King" Vegeta.

**I'm not afraid to take a stand  
Everybody come take my hand  
We'll walk this road together, through the storm  
Whatever weather, cold or warm  
Just let you know that, you're not alone  
Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road  
**

**And I just can't keep living this way  
So starting today, I'm breaking out of this cage  
I'm standing up, Imma face my demons  
I'm manning up, Imma hold my ground  
I've had enough, now I'm so fed up  
Time to put my life back together right now**

King Vegeta sat down on one of the bunk beds. His son was actually starting to live up to his lineage!

**It was my decision to get clean, I did it for me  
Admittedly I probably did it subliminally for you  
So I could come back a brand new me, you helped see me through  
And don't even realize what you did, believe me you  
I been through the ringer, but they can do little to the middle finger  
I think I got a tear in my eye, I feel like the king of  
My world, haters can make like bees with no stingers, and drop dead  
No more beef flingers, no more drama from now on, I promise  
To focus solely on handling my responsibility's as a father  
So I solemnly swear to always treat this roof like my daughters and raise it  
You couldn't lift a single shingle on it  
Cause the way I feel, I'm strong enough to go to the club  
Or the corner pub and lift the whole liquor counter up  
Cause I'm raising the bar, I shoot for the moon  
But I'm too busy gazing at stars, I feel amazing and **

**I'm not afraid to take a stand  
Everybody come take my hand  
We'll walk this road together, through the storm  
Whatever weather, cold or warm  
Just let you know that, you're not alone  
Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road**

Table struck a boy-band pose that hasn't been seen since the days of the Backstreet Boys. King Vegeta ran up to his son and began to hug him immensely.

"Oh, Table!" he cried, "I love you!"

"I love you too, pops!"

The two began hugging and crying.

* * *

9:00 PM – Parking Lot

Goku and Chi-Chi were both dressed fancy, and she was storming out of a restaurant while he was chasing after her.

"Chi-Chi!" he pleaded, "I'm sorry! Please forgive me!"

"YOU FUCKING IDIOT!" she screamed at him, "HOW COULD YOU TELL THEM I WAS ON MY PERIOD?"

"I-I'm sorry, I just-"

"NO!" she blasted, "I'M DONE! WE'RE OVER!"

Goku was starting to cry, but then music began to play out of nowhere and a spotlight beamed down on him.

**Thanks for the times  
That you've given me  
The memories are all in my mind  
And now that we've come  
To the end of our rainbow  
There's something  
I must say out loud...**

Chi-Chi turned around. Was her buffoon of a man actually signing his apology?

**You're once...twice...  
Three times a lady  
And I love you  
Yes your once...twice...  
Three times a lady  
And I love you  
I love you**

Goku couldn't believe that such smooth vocals were coming from him. Chi-Chi sat down on the trunk of a nearby car and wiped away a few tears.

**When we are together  
The moments I cherish  
With every beat of my heart  
To touch you to hold you  
To feel you to need you  
There's nothing to keep us apart**

A few of the restaurant patrons and workers heard Goku and crowded themselves up against the windows to hear him.

**You're once...twice...  
Three times a lady  
And I love you  
I love you**

Chi-Chi ran up to Goku and began to kiss him relentlessly. "Goku, I love you so much!"

Goku smiled, "How much do you love me?"

"I might even let you be on top tonight!"

"YES!"

* * *

The Akatsuki were spying on Goku and Chi-Chi in a nearby building.

"I don't get it..." Kakuzu said as he looked through his binoculars, "Why is everyone singing today?"

All of a sudden, all the Akatsuki members began to dance.

**It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A...**

* * *

**Well, there you go. Filler for the lot of you! Just let me know if you wanna know the title of any of the songs from this chapter. This will probably be my last update of 2010, so...**

**Happy New Year!**


	56. Sins of the Father

**Hey guys, I hope you enjoyed that little filler segment. I noticed I've gotten a wave of new reviewers lately, and I've decided to show them the extent of my writing capabilities. I've shown you how funny I can be, now let's get down to the serious fucking business.**

**It's apparent that I spend more time detailing some characters more than others. I hate playing favorites, so the next few chapters will revolve around more of the main characters than usual.**

**Just a quick tip: Anyone who's ever seen the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air should be familiar with this chapter.**

* * *

9:00 AM – Dorm 666

The cardinal four members of Dorm 666 were sitting around, talking about something.

"Oh, did you hear about that Father-Son Carnival going on tonight?" Goku asked.

"Yeah," Raditz replied, "Headmaster Frieza's actually doing something cool for once."

Vegeta scoffed. "Fathers are overrated."

That comment was followed by a high five from Marcellous.

"Hey bro!" Table said as he walked in. "Did you hear-"

"Get out." Vegeta snapped.

Table sighed. "I just wanted to tell you that dad's gonna be in town for the carnival tomorrow."

"And is there some sort of reason I should care?"

"You don't love dad?"

"No, and he doesn't love me. Or you either, for that matter."

Table began to tear up. "Stop it!" he cried, "he does love us!"

"YOU'RE WHAT HAPPENED THAT ONE TIME HE TRIED WRAPPING A CANDY BAR AROUND THE TIP AND HOPING FOR THE BEST!" Vegeta shouted.

Table ran out crying a girl. Everyone else began to laugh.

"Dude..." Marcellous laughed, "did that actually happen?"

"I don't know!" Vegeta laughed, "But I'm happy it worked!"

* * *

Bardock was now sitting with his sons in Dorm 666. They were supposedly awaiting the arrival of someone.

"So we're just gonna chill for the rest of the day?" Bardock asked his older son.

"That's the plan." Raditz replied, "We're gonna wait until Vegeta and Table's dad gets here and then head out to the carnival."

Vegeta scoffed again. "There's no damn point. He's gonna flake like he always does."

"You never know, Vegeta." Goku assured, "Everyone has some good in them."

"...Kakarot?" Bardock looked at his son, "That was awfully deep for you."

"I know," Marcellous said, "It sounded like something I would say..."

"It felt almost like someone was forcing me to say that..."

Damn, how does everyone find out!

Marcellous stood up. "Okay, creepy ominous voice. I don't know where to find you or who you even are, BUT STOP USING MY VOICE!"

Then Marcellous's pants immediately fell to the ground, even though he was wearing a belt and nobody pantsed him.

Raditz began to laugh. "You wear boxers with lipstick kisses on them?"

Marcellous blushed as he pulled up his pants. "Don't make me tell your dad about the leopard-print g-string."

Raditz didn't have time to respond as King Vegeta walked in. Bardock and The King walked up to each other and shared a cold stare. The Guys were prepared to break them up.

"Veg-man!" Bardock greeted.

"Bar-man!" King Vegeta greeted.

The two began an elaborate dap greeting and finished the whole thing up with a jumping chest bump.

"It's been a long time, bro!"

"Too long, man!"

Then Table walked in. "Hey guy-"

"Get out." the King and Prince Vegetas snapped.

Table walked out sadly. The father and firstborn son stared at each other in acceptance.

"Sooo..." Raditz started, breaking up the awkwardness, "Let's go to the carnival."

"Right..." Bardock started, "For the Father-Son games!"

Everyone was in agreement...until they realized Marcellous was right there.

Marcellous sighed as everyone stares dug into him. "You guys are dicks, man!" He said as he walked out.

"What's his damage?" Bardock asked, "We were gonna do the father-son...oh."

* * *

9:00 PM – Father-Son Carnival

Bardock and his kin were relaxing with King Vegeta as the two fathers reminisced over their army days.

"Oh yeah..." Bardock started, "and then when Lieutenant Zarbon woke up..."

"His face went straight into General Dodoria's crotch!" King laughed.

"Oh, man!" Bardock laughed, "That was even funnier than the time we made Cui stick his own head up his ass!"

"I think he still has back problems after that."

The fathers continued laughing as the sons noticed Vegeta at the dunk tank. Goku and Raditz (easily) left their fathers and walked over to the Prince, who was trying to sink his brother.

"Come on, big bro!" Table mocked as Vegeta missed again, "Bulma always talks about your good handwork!"

Goku and Raditz had to barely restrain Vegeta from becoming a Super Saiyan as he laid another 10 dollars on the table. The Prince was beginning to lose his patience...

...until a ball came from behind him and sunk Table. The three turned around to see King Vegeta and Bardock laughing.

"I was an expert in guerilla warfare." King said, "One time I threw so much grenades I almost roasted Planet Meat completely."

Bardock began to laugh even more. "ROASTED PLANET MEAT! HA!"

Vegeta sighed. "Did you come just to upstage me...AGAIN?"

"No..." King said as he threw another ball, dunking his younger son again, "I just love tormenting Table."

Then Vegeta bearhugged his father. "Oh daddy!" he cried, "I...I LOVE YOU!"

King hugged back, "I love you too...my son."

* * *

A whole week had passed since the Father-Son Carnival. Things were going fine and the relationship between Vegeta and his father had greatly improved. The truly acted like father and son. Bardock was chilling with Marcellous in Dorm 666.

"I'm sure I'm not the only one who's noticed Vegeta and his dad getting closer." Marcellous said, "This seems too suspicious for my taste."

Bardock nodded. "I know King, he's gonna take off and not say a word. I don't want to tell Vegeta because it's gonna break his heart."

"I know what it's like to have your father come back in and then leave." Marcellous sighed, "Vegeta's a rock. He'll just brush it off."

Before Bardock could respond, Vegeta walked in. Marcellous began to cry with laughter.

"Dude..." he choked, "What the fuck is that on your face?"

Vegeta stroked his upper lip. "It's my moo-stache!" he replied, "I grew it to look more like dad!"

Bardock began to laugh. "Why are you saying it all weird like that?"

"What's weird about my moo-stache?"

"Stop it. Say mustache." Marcellous commanded.

"Moo-stache!"

"What sound does a cow make?" Bardock asked.

"Moo!"

"What do you call a secret supply?" Marcellous asked.

"A stash."

"Now they mustache." They both asked.

"Moo-stache!"

Marcellous and Bardock sighed in defeat.

"Anyway..." Vegeta continued stroking his mustache, "Me and dad are going on a cross-country trip starting tomorrow, I'm gonna be gone for two weeks. I just came to tell you, make sure to tell the guys."

"What?" Bardock asked.

"I'm gonna spend the night as my house for once, seeya later!" Vegeta said as he walked out.

"If I know King as well as I think I do..." Bardock said.

"I'll sneak into his house tonight and see if I can convince either King or Vegeta." Marcellous said as he got up.

"Hey..." Bardock started, "How come none of you ever come to class, but you always pass with flying colors!"

"It's in the unwritten rulebook of fanfiction!"

* * *

5:30 AM – Vegeta's house

King Vegeta had a few bags with him, and he was checking himself.

"Going somewhere?"

King Vegeta turned around and saw Marcellous braced up on the kitchen counter.

"Oh, Marcellous." King responded, "I didn't know you were here."

"Vegeta let me spend the night."

"That's perfect, you see-"

"You're backing out of your promise to Vegeta and you don't have the balls to tell him." Marcellous interrupted, "And no, I won't do it for you."

"It's not my fault!" King defended, "Some urgent business came up overseas."

"I'm giving you a clear warning." Marcellous said, " I know what it's like to lose a father. If you walk out of Vegeta's life now, don't you ever come back."

"Oh, that's scary." King mocked, "I guess I'll see you la-"

"Yo, Daddy-O!" Vegeta said as he walked in with a few bags, "We ready to go?"

Marcellous gave the King a glare that could knock birds out of the sky.

"Uhh...son..." The King started, "You see...we have to cancel our trip...something urgent came up."

"Oh...I see."

"I'll call you from the road."

"...No, that's okay."

King gestured for a hug. "I'll see you later, son."

Vegeta stood there stoically. "Later...Vegeta."

Vegeta could do nothing but stare at the door as his father left.

Marcellous sighed. "Vegeta, are you okay?"

"I'm fine..." Vegeta replied, "Why shouldn't I be? It's not like I waited a good 20 years to FINALLY spend some time with my own damn father..."

"Let it out. It's okay to be angry."

Vegeta gave a small chuckle. "I'm not angry...this is a test. I've gotten through worse. I learned to how drive without him, I learned how to fight without him, I learned how to pick up chicks without him, I got into college without him, I had 22 good birthdays without him and the bastard never even bothered to send me a damn card! I just wish I never got him a fucking gift..." Vegeta pulled out a statuette of a father holding his infant son and stared at it.

"Vegeta...I understand how you feel."

"HOLD ON, I'm not done." Vegeta said. "I'm gonna get through college without him, I'm gonna get married without him, I'm gonna get a job without him, and I'm gonna have children and be a good father without him because there's not a **SINGLE FUCKING THING** he can **EVER** teach me about how to love my kids!"

"Vegeta, calm down..."

"**TO HELL WITH HIM!" **Vegeta shouted as he threw the statuette at a wall, shattering it into pieces. Marcellous walked up to him and put his hand on his shoulder. Vegeta turned around to face him with tears in his eyes. Marcellous was beginning to tear up as well.

"...Why doesn't he want me, man?"

Marcellous pulled Vegeta into a hug as the Prince began to cry on his shoulder.


	57. I'm not Dead!

**Holy shit. Has it really been January since I updated? Crazy shit, man.**

**But in all honestly, I've had some other stuff going on and with my school year less than two weeks from over I'm ready to go back into writing mode. Fuck studying for finals, I'm a man of the people!**

**Whether you love me, hate me, or love to hate me, The Ultimate Saiyan is back and better than he's ever been!**

**Now on to the comedy!**

**P.S - I deleted Space Absorbers from back when I retconned the series. It gave me unnecessary chapters, and I want this story to last as long as possible. Plus, they really pissed me off. So try to see if you can find a chapter you didn't review from before and see if you can submit a review for this chapter instead.  
**

* * *

7:00 AM – Dorm 666

The original four members of Dorm 666 (besides Vegeta) were sitting around their dorm drinking coffee, while they were accompanied by the one who might as well be in Dorm 666 (that's Spencer, in case it's been so long you forgot).

Raditz sighed as he sipped his coffee. "Where's Vegeta?" he asked, "I just remembered a question I've been meaning to ask him for quite some time..."

Spencer look at the man who would one day be his father. "What might that be?"

"I don't wanna say it..."

Goku looked at his brother. "Don't be a bitch, if you can't tell us, why tell Vegeta?"

Raditz bit his lip. "...I always wanted to ask him what Bulma's real hair color is..."

Marcellous sipped his coffee. "Well it's obviously not blue. Why don't you just ask Bulma herself?"

"Well, she's gonna take it as an insult...as far as I know she only dyes the hair on her head...Vegeta likes ...using his oral skills..."

Marcellous laughed. "That makes perfect sense!"

Goku gave an uncharacteristic smug grin. "Why would you spoil all the fun and ask Vegeta?"

Spencer looks puzzled. "Fun?"

"We could find this out for ourselves...do a little snooping around?"

Raditz smiled. "Competition?"

"If you insist, brother..."

Table walked into the room. "Hey guys, what's up?"

Spencer grinned sadistically. "Now there's no way any of _us_ can lose..."

Table scratched his head. "What's going on?"

Marcellous ran his fingers through his hair. "Wanna join in on our bet?"

* * *

A few hours later, a large blue tent was set up on the college campus, with a line of girls standing outside it. Bulma, Clare, Chi-Chi and Radiza were walking by when they noticed it.

"What's the tent for?" asked Radiza.

Chi-Chi read the sign. "Free gynecology exams, complementary on Headmaster Frieza." she said, "Due to a recent outbreak in yeast infections, sexually transmitted diseases and deviant sexual behavior, Headmaster Frieza has hired a local gynecologist to give complementary exams to any woman willing to take one."

Just then, a generic college girl walked out of the tent. "Thanks, Doc!"

A Doctor wearing scrubs, a medical mask and scrub cap poked his head out. "No problem, just make sure you stay fresh...literally! Next!"

Marcellous retreated back into the tent and turned around to prepare for his next patient. _"Bulma's next in line! Perfect!"_ he thought, _"All I gotta do is grab a few pubes off her as proof and then-"_

"Okay doc, let's get this over with."

Marcellous almost shit himself when he heard the voice that wasn't Bulma's. He turned around to confirm his horrors.

Clare was in the seat he was reserving for Bulma. She chuckled at his wide eyed gaze. "Don't be scared, I'm pretty sure you've seen a lot of snatch in your career."

Marcellous nervously laughed. " Of course I have, it's not like I'm fresh out of college or anything..."

As he walked toward her, he was breaking down on the inside. _"Jesus Christ, just thinking about what all that BDSM shit has done to her pussy makes me wanna hurl!"_

Clare had already taken off her jeans and was sitting there in her bare panties. Marcellous' hand was trembling like Muhammad Ali using a Shake-Weight.

"...You want me to do that for you?"

"...That would be appreciated." Marcellous said, "I'd feel too pervy doing it myself..."

"Respect...I like that." Clare smiled as she pulled them down.

"Holy shit, it's normal!" Marcellous shouted as he jumped back in disbelief.

"...Marcellous?"

"N-No!" he stammered, "Who's that?"

As a large amount of murderous intent filled the area, Marcellous began to realize that his mask fell off when he jumped back.

* * *

Marcellous was covered in multiple bandages, bruises and abrasions as he lied down on his bed in the dorm.

"So how'd it go...doc?" Raditz asked as he attempted to choke his laughter.

Marcellous wrote down something on a dry-erase board next to him and held it up. "I'd cuss you out if my jaw wasn't swollen shut."

Raditz laughed even harder. "I'll buy you a voice synthesizer when my plan succeeds!"

* * *

Bulma was spending the night back home at Capsule Corp, since she still didn't feel too safe since Clare told her about that gynecologist that tried to rape her. She wrapped her hair around one towel and looked down before she wrapped her body.

"Damn, I think I need to shave...hmm?"

Bulma looked at her bathroom window.

"I could have swore I saw something there..." she said to herself as she turned around to get her shaving stuff ready.

Raditz sighed as he pressed his head up against the tree next to her window. _"Damn, she almost saw me..."_ he thought, _"She better have one hairy bush, I need to see this as clearly as possible._

Bulma sat down...

"_Yes..."_

Spread her legs...

"_Oh god yes..."_

Lathered herself up with shaving cream...

"_Stop teasing me, bitch!"_

Then she started shaving...

"_...Are you serious?"_

...her legs.

Raditz slammed his fist into the tree out of frustration...

….which woke up a few beehives on the branch next to him.

"OH SHI-"

* * *

Marcellous now looked less like he had been run over by a bus and was getting quite a good laugh out of his pincushion of a roommate.

"I'll buy you a voice synthesizer when my plan succeeds!" Marcellous mocked.

It was unclear to tell if Raditz was upset or sad because his facial muscles were so severely damaged by bee stings.

Spencer got up. "Watch. I'm gonna win this bet the easiest way ever." He bragged as he got up and walked outside.

"Hey Bulma, can I catch a peek at your pussy to see what your real hair color is?"

As everyone was left speechless by Spencer's ballsy move, he walked back in with a red hand-shaped mark going across his face.

"Hey...where's Goku?"

* * *

"Chi-Chi, can you believe what Spencer just said to me?" Bulma asked as she sat down in her dorm.

"He doesn't really talk much, what did he say?" a very poorly cross-dressing Goku asked.

"Are you alright?" Bulma asked, "You sound a little hoarse."

Goku cleared his throat. "I'm fine," he said, adding more femininity to his voice, "I just have a little dry throat..."

"Okay...but he actually asked me to see my vagina so he could find out my natural hair color."

"Gasp!"

"I know! I mean, it's obvious I dye me hair, but all the nerve that man has!" Bulma exploded, "I'd get Vegeta to fuck him up, but he's away taking therapy classes after that whole thing with his dad..."

"And Spencer would probably kick his ass..." Goku laughed.

"...Yeah, probably." Bulma laughed as well.

"Uhh, Bulma?"

"Yeah, Chi-Chi?"

"Umm...I was thinking about getting a wax...down there...and I was wondering if you had any kinky designs or ideas that I might use for Goku?"

"You that place down in West City, right? The one we go to all the time?"

"Of course."

"Well yesterday I had Esmeralda shape me a heart for Vegeta! I still have it if you wanna see!"

"That's so sweet! I'd love to see it!"

Bulma began to take off her pants as Goku began to sweat bullets.

"_Go Goku, Go Goku, Go Goku!" _he chanted in his head.

"Hey Bulma, how's- WHAT THE FUCK?"

Bulma quickly pulled her pants back up as two Chi-Chi's stared each other down.

* * *

Goku was hooked up on life support as Marcellous, Raditz and Spencer sighed.

"This is tougher than I thought it would be..." Marcellous sighed, "I thought Bulma would be super easy..."

"Same here..." Raditz sighed.

Spencer remained stoic. "At least Table didn't win."

Table walked in triumphantly, holding a few curly, blonde hairs in his hand.

"...What are those?" Marcellous asked, shocked.

"Exactly what you think they are!" Table exclaimed, "She's really a blonde!"

"How the fuck did you pull this off?" Raditz asked.

"I just used a wig, hair gel and pretended I was Vegeta!" he explained, "I said I got back early, then she invited me in for sex...oh man, I hit that SO HARD!"

Suddenly, everyone had a smile on their faces.

"Can't believe how awesome it was, right?"

Raditz waved at the door behind Table.

"Hi, Vegeta!"


	58. Matchmaking Eye For The Saiyan Guy

**Ask and ye shall receive! You guys voted Nappa to have his own chapter in this story, and it shall happen upon this very chapter.**

* * *

9:00 AM – Classroom?

The guys were sitting in class.

"Dude..." Raditz started as he looked around, "are we actually in class?"

Vegeta's eyes widened. "I don't believe it! How long has it been?"

Marcellous put his hand on his chin. "It's got to be at least 15 chapters."

Goku scratched his head. "How are we not failing?"

Shut up! It's part of the plot! The story's not always about you guys!

Spencer sighed. "Whatever you say, ominous Marcellous-sounding voice."

Marcellous got really agitated. "Can't you put on a Darth Vader mask or something? Stop making our voices sound the same!"

Then Marcellous was forcefully pushed back into his seat, although nobody was around to push him.

Professor Bardock was in his seat and had a few papers in his hand. "Has anyone seen Trunks lately?"

"He killed himself in 2009." Spencer answered."

"Really?"

"Yeah," Vegeta responded, "and then we kicked his ass again when he came back as a vampire in the Halloween Special."

"You don't say?" Bardock asked, "I just saw him a few days ago, he said he was dropping out."

Spencer sighed as he pulled a shotgun out of his ass (figuratively). "I got him this time." he assured as he walked out.

Bardock sighed. "Anyway, we have a new student coming in today. Please welcome Zangya."

As it was very loosely implied, Bojack's only female accomplice (wonder if that soon comes into play?) walked into class.

Goku was holding back giggles as he leaned over to Raditz. "You see her hair?" he whispered.

Raditz was red with laughter. "It looks like someone glued a chicken nugget to her head!"

Marcellous accidentally dropped his pen, due to the importance of plot advancement. He looked over to the person sitting next to him. "Nappa, could you get that for me?"

His fellow Saiyan paid him no attention and kept a dumbstruck look on his face the whole time.

"Bro, you feeling okay?" He asked as he poked him in the shoulder. Out of reflex, Nappa punched him square in the nose.

"Oh shit, don't care me like that!" Nappa said, "You alright?"

Marcellous was clutching his nose. "Jesus Christ, that hurt like a bitch! I asked you get my pen, but you were too busy checking out the new girl..."

He looked up and saw Nappa blushing bright red.

"...You like her, don't you?"

"..y-Yeah..."

"...Hold on.." Marcellous pulled out his phone and started texting.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing much."

Vegeta pulled out his phone, looked at it and started laughing. "Are you serious, bro?" he asked as he looked at Marcellous.

"I know!"

Raditz did the same as Vegeta and began to suppress even more laughter. He showed it to Goku and he laughed even more.

Table tried to peer over Vegeta's shoulder to see the text. "Hey guys, what's so-"

"Get out." Vegeta barked.

"Vegeta!" Professor Bardock called, "What seems to be the matter?"

"It's not his fault." Table said, "I-"

"Get out." Bardock barked.

Table hung his head lowly as he dragged himself out of the room.

Nappa finally noticed that Marcellous had texted the news of his crush to the fellows of Dorm 666 and he turned a bright red. "Thanks, asshole."

"No worries, bro!" Marcellous said, "We're gonna help you get at that!"

Nappa brightened up. "Really?"

"Saiyans gotta stick together, bro." Marcellous informed, "Have you seen our chicks, bro?"

Nappa raised an eyebrow. "Why do you keep saying 'bro'?"

"Raditz got me hooked on Jersey Shore, bro."

* * *

2:00 PM – Dorm 666

Nappa was sitting in Dorm 666, with its original members.

"Why am I here again?" Goku asked, "I forgot."

"Kakarot," Raditz started, "I haven't the slightest clue why but all the ladies love that little dumbness in you."

"Girls think it's cute when guys are dumb?" Nappa asked.

"He's a big hit at clubs." Vegeta said as he pulled a measuring tape out of nowhere and began to use it on Nappa. "Any fabric-based allergies?"

"...Not that I know of."

"Leather it is!"

Raditz pulled tons upon tons of hair products out of nowhere. "We gotta do something about that dumb little patch you keep for God knows why."

Nappa looked shocked as he rubbed his hair. (**A/N:** Hell yeah, Nappa has hair like he did in the Bardock Special! I just never mentioned it! Take THAT, you presumptuous bastards!)

Marcellous was chillin'. "I'll start with your confidence and mannerisms when they're done."

* * *

Marcellous was outside with Nappa, who only vaguely resembled the way he looked a few hours ago.

"How do feel?"

Nappa was wearing leather pants, combat boots, a wifebeater and aviator shades. The wind was constantly blowing the obvious weave Raditz gave him that when down to his shoulders and very poorly painted on sideburns.

"I feel pretty damn good!"

"You look good, no homo."

"Thanks...bro!"

Marcellous smiled. "Now, let's get down to the walk. You gotta walk like you have confidence in yourself. Stick your shoulders out, take slow steps and nod your head with every step."

Marcellous then proceeded to walk like the biggest douchebag to have ever existed. Nappa was in awe.

"Now try it."

Nappa walked according to his directions, and did pretty damn well.

"You'll get used to it over time. Now, facial expressions are key. Always...ALWAYS...keep your eyebrow raised. You've seen The Rock, right?"

"Who hasn't?"

"Try your damn hardest to keep your eyebrows the way he does."

"Gotcha."

"Make sure you talk slowly and sternly when you approach her. She's gonna be too blinded by your awesomeness to register everything in bulk."

"You're so good at this."

"That's what she said!"

Nappa began to laugh.

"Oh, I almost forgot!" Marcellous said, "Make sure you have a sense of humor, girls love that!"

"Okay."

AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING EVER...don't forget to be macho! Act like you're the manliest man to have ever existed! Be charismatic, like this guy!

A picture began to form in the clouds as Nappa and Marcellous looked up.

"...Are you serious?" Marcellous asked.

"'Macho Man' Randy Savage?" Nappa asked.

God rest his soul. Now go forth, my son...and make that creepy alien bitch yours!

"Gotcha, boss!"

* * *

The guys were sitting around in their dorm, looking out of the window at Nappa, who was doing his douchebag walk toward Zangya, who was sitting by herself.

"I'm so proud of him." Raditz sighed.

"We taught him well." Marcellous added.

"I want an invite to the wedding." Vegeta commented.

"...How much you wanna bet he's gonna get rejected horribly?" Goku asked.

"10 bucks."

"25."

"50."

"70." Marcellous said as they all shook hands.

Spencer walked in, covered in blood and holding a chunk of purple hair. "I caught Trunks, again!"

They all gestured toward the window. Spencer looked through it and laughed for the first time since his birth.

"...w-what the fuck happened?" he choked, "Nappa looks like Freddie Mercury with Down Syndrome!"

"Wanna join the bet?" Raditz asked.

"Sure!" Spencer still laughed, "100 bucks he get it in!"

"...Wait, what?" Goku asked.

Just then, Nappa bursted through the door with Zangya on his arm. "Thanks guys!" he cheered, "I couldn't have done it without you!"

Zangya began to walk her fingers up his shoulder. "Let's go, babe."

"Oh, you!" Nappa picked her up bridal style and ran down the hall.

Dorm 666 was completely silent as the four members looked dumbfounded and stared at Spencer, who was currently on the floor, choking on laughter.


	59. Saiyan Side Story Part 1

**Hey guys, just a quick heads-up/spoiler. I don't smoke weed, and I don't encourage it. This chapter's and all further uses of smoking are purely for comedic reasons or plot advancement.**

**This has been a message from The Church of Jesus Christ and Latter-Day Saints.**

* * *

11:15 AM – Dude Cave

Dorm 666, Nappa and Turles were all sitting in a circular pattern in the Dude Cave, which was filled with an odd kind of smoke...

Vegeta sighed as he looked at Turles. "Turles, bro...I gotta admit, this is some pretty good weed.."

Turles smiled. "Grew it myself, homeboy."

Marcellous examined the blunt when it came to him. "You're sure this won't damage our lungs? That's quite a feat."

"Excuse me, doctor. This is Saiyan Weed, not that chemical-enhanced Earth shit."

Marcellous' eyes widened as he passed the blunt to Raditz. "...I love you, man."

Raditz inhaled the good smoke deeply. "God said let there be happiness...and there was marijuana."

Goku was silently laughing his ass off.

Nappa had a relaxed look on. "Won't the girls get pissed to hell when they find out about this?"

Turles chuckled. "Bro, I took care of it...I gave them a baggie too!"

Vegeta laughed. "You got it all planned out, bro!"

Raditz's eyes widened. "Hey, let's have a party!"

Goku was still laughing his ass off.

"You know..." Marcellous started, "It's been a while since we had a party."

Vegeta stood up. "Let's spread the word; here, tonight, free food and beer kegs!"

Turles laughed. "Man, I needa start hangin' with you guys more often!"

Spencer walked in. "I haven't been able to find you guys anywhere, what..."

They all looked at him and started to silently laugh.

"...I'm surrounded by stoners."

* * *

2:45 PM – College Campus

It was a normal day on the college campus, the birds were singing, students were walking and talking, the girls were gossiping like they all do...oh, and the DX Tank was rolling up on the scene.

….Wait, what the fuck?

"**ARE YOU READY?"**

The majority of students just looked at the tank in awe.

"**NOOOO...I SAID, ARE YOU READY?"**

With that, Road Dogg, X-Pac, HBK and OGD jumped out of the tank and crotch-chopped three times. On the fourth chop, the tank exploded.

X-Pac shook his hands frantically. "Are you serious, I just fixed that!"

OGD was quick to bitch slap him back to sanity. HBK grabbed a mic and prepared to say something.

"Hey guys!" he cheered, "Party at The Dude Cave tonight, everyone's invited! It's gonna be dope, yo!"

Not even crickets were moved enough to chirp. Road Dogg grabbed the mic and pushed HBK out of the way.

"**YO, PARTY AT THE DUDE CAVE TONIGHT! FREE FOOD, MUSIC, BEER AND DRUNK BITCHES FOR EVERYONE!"**

All the students present began to cheer uproariously.

* * *

Headmaster Frieza was driving up in a brand new Lamborghini, decked out with chrome spinners and leather seats. Hell, he even had fuzzy dice! He got out and locked it.

"You have no idea how much you mean to me, babe." he smiled as he admired his car...

….then a tank hull fell out of the sky and completely annihilated it.

The broken Headmaster fell to his knees and began weeping.

Loudly.

* * *

11:00 PM – Dude Cave

There was a full-blown party going down. Not like one of those parties you see on those High School sitcoms, oh no. This was a legit nightclub party...like the nightclubs on Jersey Shore, and those parties with the red plastic cups...hell, this might even be the type of party you see in the Girls Gone Wild videos!

Most of the men in the Dude Cave began to cheer as Bulma and Chi-Chi drunkenly made out.

...OH HELL YEAH, IT'S TOTALLY THAT KIND OF PARTY!

* * *

The Akatsuki were standing outside of the Dude Cave, which had been raised from its underground hiding spot to its visible position in the football field. Pein halted the group's march.

"Akatsuki." He began, "Tonight is the night where we make our strike to capture and defeat D-Generation X. We must feign companionship, and as such we must-"

Deidara tore off his cloak, revealing himself to be wearing regular street clothes. "Fuck that, I'm here to party, un!"

"...Why are you not wearing the Akatsuki uniform?"

"...He's here to party, Pein-sama." Itachi replied as he revealed his own street clothes, "And honestly, so am I."

Pein had an incredibly shocked look. "You too?"

Hidan tore off his robe to reveal his clothes as well. "You heard the ad, drunk bitches for everyone!"

Except for Tobi, Zetsu and Pein, all the other Akatsuki members revealed their street clothes as well. Pein began to jump up and down in frustration.

"It's not fair, damnit!" he whined, "It's not fai-"

He stopped when he noticed everyone else shooting him murderous glares. He pouted his lip and left with Tobi and Zetsu.

"What are we waiting for, un?" Deidara asked as he ran toward the Dude Cave.

* * *

Spencer was sitting down next to the beer kegs, looking depressed a tiny bit. Raditz walked up to him, holding a beer.

"What's wrong, broski?" he asked. "You should be partying your ass off!"

"I just...feel a little lonely...I don't know why."

"You'll find the lucky bitch pretty soon, don't worry!"

Then "Party Rock Anthem" started playing.

"OH SHIT, THIS IS MY JAM!"

Raditz jumped onto the dance floor and exploded into a floppy passion.

Spencer sighed at his future father. But then...

….he saw her.

Her blue hair the framed her face perfectly, her amber eyes...her labret piercing, and her perfect hourglass body...he didn't know her...but he knew he wanted her...with all his power, he would have her-

"Dude?" Spencer asked, "Do you think you're laying it on thick enough?"

Well, you like her, don't you?

"I do, but..."

Then go get that ass!

Spencer was pulled up and forced over to his potential girlfriend by the mysterious power that resides over this fan-fic.

"...Hey..." he started.

"...Hey..." she replied.

"Uh...I'm Spencer."

"I'm Konan..."

"I like your hair ornament..."

Konan blushed as she observed his muscles. "I like your Aerosmith shirt..."

"Thanks..." he blushed as he scratched his head, "It's vintage..."

"...I can tell, I'm a pretty big fan of theirs."

"Really? You know, I can score some tickets if you want..."

"You're joking!"

"I've got connections."

"For the sold-out concert next week?"

"Nothing impossible for a beauty like you..."

Konan chuckled a little. "Oh, stop..."

"...You want a drink?"

"Sure!"

* * *

Itachi had his oddly-decorated eyes on Konan and Spencer throughout their whole conversation. He poked Deidara who was dancing next to him. "Do you see Konan talking to that dude?"

Deidara laughed. "Yeah, Pein's gonna be so pissed!"

Kakuzu walked up to Deidara and Itachi. "You know...Pein doesn't have to know. What's the worse that could happen? I mean, he's just a regular dude."

Itachi sighed. "I guess so. Now if he was a part of DX, that would be a different story...we'd have to kill him."

Deidara eyed up someone on the dance floor. "Hold on, I gotta school this fag."

Raditz was lighting up the dance floor to a plethora of "Go Raditz!" chants. He started to hit that Dougie right, and soon went retro with the Soulja Boy.

"Any challengers?" Raditz asked as the crowd went silent.

Deidara walked to the dance floor and stood triumphantly. "I will challenge you, you long-haired freak!"

The crowd gave the traditional "OHHHHHH SHIT NO HE DIDN'T" gasp.

"...Get out of her, little girl."

The crowd repeated its gasp.

"Like a G6" started blasting through the speakers as they both got into dancing stances.

* * *

Radiza and Rae were sitting together, looking at Spencer and Konan.

"Sis, can you believe those two?" Radiza asked Rae.

"I know." Rae sighed as she sipped her drink. "Their babies are gonna have such weird childhoods."

"...Get Bulma and Chi-Chi, let's discuss this over the gift Turles gave us."

"He was such a nice guy for that!"

* * *

12:05 AM – Dorm 333

Radiza, Rae, Bulma and Chi-Chi were all sitting in a circle, with a mysterious white smoke filling the room...

Rae passed the blunt to Radiza. "So Spencer's getting it in, huh?"

Chi-Chi and Bulma were still viciously making out.

Radiza sighed. "I dunno, I think they're kinda cute together."

Rae looked to her side. "Goku?" she asked, "When the hell did you get here?"

Goku was still laughing his ass off. "Man, I gotta stop hitting up multiple circles in one day!"

* * *

12:30 AM – College Campus

Spencer and Konan were sitting on a bench, looking at the water fountain in the middle of the campus.

Konan sighed. "You know, I really enjoyed spending this night with you..."

Spencer slyly put his arm around her. "So I'm taking that as a yes for the Aerosmith concert?"

Konan grabbed his neck and pulled him in for the most romantic kiss in recent memory. A few seconds went by until they came up for air.

"...Can I tell you a secret?" Spencer asked.

"...Sure."

"...I'm Big Evil in D-Generation X."

Konan gasped. "...I'm in Akatsuki. We're supposed to take you guys down."

"...We can't let anyone know."

"I love secret romances..."

Spencer looked around as he heard a tirade of cussing and slashing noises.

Konan sighed. "Hidan's drunk...I gotta go."

Spencer sighed. "I'll see you this Saturday?"

Konan winked at him. "Saturday."


	60. Saiyan Side Story Part 2

1:45 AM – Akatsuki Apartment

The Akatsuki, sans Konan, were all lounging about. Pein was up in his room, Kisame took Zetsu and Tobi to the park (Zetsu was in heat and they wanted to watch), Itachi was still reading the DBZ College novel (which seemed to have magically gained more chapters), Deidara was doing his hair in the mirror, Sasori was adjusting his puppets and Kakuzu was stitching up Hidan in...certain places...

"I can't believe a chick actually bit your dick off, man." Kakuzu sighed as he sewed Hidan's severed appendage back on.

"Some girls are into that..." Hidan winced, "Hey, watch it! I'll never fucking forgive you if you sew it on upside down."

Kakuzu rolled his eyes. "Whoops, looks like I did." he said as he ripped it back off, earning a blood-curdling scream from Hidan.

Konan came in, wearing an Aerosmith shirt and holding a bouquet of flowers. "Hey guys, how was the rave?"

Deidara, without moving his gaze from his reflection in the mirror, pointed at Kakuzu holding what used to be Hidan's manhood.

"At least you still have your balls.." Konan shrugged. Sasori stopped working and looked at her.

"Alright, let's just cut to the chase here and do the usual." he sighed, "He's not a good guy, he only wants your body, somehow cut into a musical interlude, blah blah blah."

"What are you talking about?"

Itachi closed his book. "We know about the guy."

Konan gasped. "Does Pein-sama know?"

"We didn't tell him." Deidara said, "He looks harmless."

"Oh, thanks you so much!"

The terrorist bomber had a smug look on. "You owe me a blowjob, though..."

Konan formed a paper airplane and threw it straight at Deidara's visible eye. "Grow up, perv!"

* * *

"_Huh, where am I?" Raditz asked himself as he stood up. He was wearing all blue, and was standing on a verdant green hill, with a shimmering ocean sea in the vicinity. Then...a caption popped up from nowhere: **GREEN HILL ZONE, ACT 3.**_

_Raditz looked at his blue muscle shirt. "Blue is SO my color!" he exclaimed, "Why haven't I worn it yet?" He noticed a ring in front of him, but when he went to pick it up, it disappeared. Raditz sighed and began to run...run pretty damn fast._

"_Hey, this is pretty co-OH SHIT!"_

_Raditz ducked to avoid a huge-ass robotic wasp, but he rolled into a ball and destroyed a robotic ladybug._

"_Hey...that was kinda cool!"_

_He continued running and balling up, until he came to a point that wouldn't let him continue. He looked around, until he saw a figure approaching in a hover-chair of some sort._

"_...Nappa?"_

_Indeed, it was Nappa wearing a goofy uniform and an hilarious orange mustache. "No, you fool!" he said, "It is I, Doctor Robotnik! Prepare to meet your doom, hedgehog!"_

"_Hey, now I find that awfully-"_

_Before he could finish, Raditz was knocked over by a giant ball swinging from the hover-chair, and lost all his rings._

"_You asshole, that's not- OH JESUS CHRIST NO!"_

_The ball began to swing back at him...full force._

* * *

10:00 AM – Dorm 666

Raditz shot up, covered in sweat.

"Whew...it was just a dream." he sighed as he looked over to the bunk next to him. "Marcellous!"

He saw his roommate passionately kissing his pillow. He walked up to him and punched him straight in the back of the head. Marcellous shot up.

"What the hell, man?" he asked, "I was having that dream where I was making out with Mila Kunis again."

"Sorry, man." Raditz replied, "But it's not happening."

Marcellous cocked an eyebrow. "I still haven't told Radiza about that collection of Carmen Electra bikini pictures you have."

Raditz shut up. "...Is your celebrity crush on Mila the reason you asked Rae to dye her hair black?"

Marcellous shushed him. "The resemblance is uncanny, man!"

"Let's just get dressed. What happened to Kakarot and Vegeta?"

"They said something about the school store...I wasn't really paying attention; I was too busy trying to get back to my dream."

* * *

10:45 AM – College Campus

Marcellous was chilling in the college campus, just checking out the scenery. Raditz came and handed him a breakfast sandwich and some orange juice.

"Thanks, bro." he said, noticing Raditz's new sneakers, "Which Air Jordans are those?"

Raditz took a bite out of his own sandwich. "Cool Grey 11s."

"Eh, I like the Oreo 6's better."

"Those are cool. What about the Space Jams?"

"Only the 11s."

"Cardinal 7s?"

"Ugly."

"Raptor 7s?"

"I've been trying to find a pair." Marcellous paused as he heard a motorcycle revving.

Raditz looked up. "...What the fuck?

Spencer tore in on a motorcycle! He was wearing jeans, Timberland boots, a muscle shirt/ leather jacket combo, and his hair was held back by a bandana. He took off his shades and gave the guys the traditional "sup" nod.

"...What girl did this to you?" Raditz asked.

"How did you know it was a girl?"

Raditz pointed to Marcellous. "I've seen the extremes a guy will go to for some ass."

Spencer looked at a girl walking to a class. "Holy shit, it that Mila Kunis?"

"SEE?" Marcellous looked at Raditz. "I TOLD YOU IT WAS FREAKY!"

Raditz got back on track. "So when can we meet her?"

Spencer sighed. "We'll meet up tonight."

* * *

9:00 PM – Dorm 666

Marcellous and Raditz were chilling in the Dorm, waiting to meet Spencer's not-so-mysterious woman. Raditz popped the champagne as Goku and Vegeta walked in.

"Bro!" Vegeta said as he dapped up Marcellous, "Smooth move dumping Rae for Mila Kunis! Maybe she'll let you banish your White Russians into her Kremlin!"

Marcellous sighed. Raditz whispered something into Vegeta's ear. Vegeta began laughing uproariously. "ARE YOU SERIOUS, BRO?"

"A man can dream, damn it!"

* * *

Pein was glued to his binoculars as he spied on Dorm 666. "I wonder what's so special..."

Itachi sighed. "Look, we'll never beat them. Maybe Frieza just lied about the Jinchuuriki."

Kakuzu folded his arms. "Then we'd have to kill him."

Hidan ran in and began flashing his upside-down penis to Kakuzu. "VERY FUNNY, ASSHOLE!"

All of Akatsuki began to laugh, until Sasori noticed something.

"Hey, where's Konan?"

* * *

The guys were just sitting around, until they heard the thumping at the door.

Goku raised an eyebrow. "Spencer has a key, doesn't he?"

The thumping increased...with some other sounds...

Vegeta stuttered. "Is that...moaning?"

Marcellous got up. "Sure guys, I'll get it."

He grabbed the handle...

….turned the handle...

...looked down...

...and passed out.

* * *

Pein's eyes widened. "IS THAT-"

Itachi opened his book. "IT IS!"

Kakuzu couldn't believe his eyes. "KONAN'S FUCKING A DX MEMBER?"

Hidan gasped. "WELL SUCK ME SIDEWAYS!"

Everyone paused.

"...I didn't mean that literally."

* * *

Spencer and Konan were sitting on the floor in the dorm, with death glares being shot at all of them.

"You're fucking an Akatsuki member?" Goku asked, "Do you have any idea they've been trying to kill us?"

"How did you know that?"

Goku held up a copy of DBZ College.

Vegeta stared Konan down. "...I didn't even know you could _get_ that pierced."

The bluenette blushed.

Suddenly, the Akatsuki busted into the dorm.

"**YOUR BIKER BADASS VIOLATED OUR DELICATE FLOWER!"** Pein blasted.

"**YOU DELICATE FLOWER'S DELICATE FLOWER DE-FLOWERED OUR BIKER BADASS!" **Raditz blasted.

Itachi stepped up. "This can only be settled one way."

"Shut it, ching wing!" Vegeta shouted.

"...IT'S ON LIKE DONKEY KONG, BITCH!"

Pein grunted. "Tomorrow. Playground. Bring an army."

Vegeta grunted. "Bring body bags."


	61. Saiyan Side Story Part 3

**Hey guys, those of you who read this story from the start know I'm a fan of Alternate Reality Dragon Ball Z. With the news that Gozar quit ARDBZ because he's tired of being second-best to DBZ Abridged, what do you think? Leave a comment.**

* * *

7:00 PM – Park

The Akatsuki (minus Konan) were standing in the park, and Zetsu was standing amidst the grass and trees.

"Zetsu!" Hidan called, "What the fuck does this have to do with us getting an army?"

"Remember how we went into heat a few days ago?" White Zetsu asked, **"WE GET BITCHES!" **Black Zetsu blasted.

Kisame blushed. "I have to admit, that was quite a scientific marvel."

"Pass me the fertilizer!"

Deidara passed Zetsu a bag of Miracle-Gro, which he then spread all over the grass. Suddenly, tons of White Zetsu clones began to pop up like clones. The original Zetsu began to laugh.

"MY BABIES!" he bellowed, "THEY LIVE!"

Kisame sulked. "I wish I could get some like that..."

Hidan laughed and pointed at Kisame. "HA, a fucking plant gets more bitches than you do!"

* * *

7:00 PM – Hirokiwa Football Field

Dorm 666 was standing before a multitude of Saiyans, all of them wearing Saiyan armor.

Vegeta sighed, "We're seriously lacking man power."

Goku looked at him. "What are you talking about?"

"We're here, Spencer and Konan ran off somewhere, Nappa's here, I'm pretty sure Turles is high right now, Table's fucking useless...what else do we have?"

Nappa held up a brown paper bag. "I brought our army!"

Marcellous looked inside the bag. "Saibamen seeds? How did you get these?"

Nappa smiled, "I told my Mommy I was going off to war, so she sent my a couple hundred and told me not to get shot in the dick!"

Raditz held up a clipboard. "My dad decided to re-live his army days and help us out..."

Just then, Bardock ran in, wearing his headband and shirtless. "Who has the guns?"

"We're not using guns, this is-"

Bardock knocked Raditz out. "THIS ISN'T HOW YOU FIGHT A WAR!"

"Look!" Marcellous pointed, "A newly escaped heroin dealer attempting to rape a teenage mother!"

"REALLY?" Bardock asked, "HELICOPTER PARENT, AWAY!"

Bardock began to spin like a helicopter...

…until he crashed into the spectator stands.

"BLACKHAWK DOWN!" Bardock flailed, "BLACKHAWK DOWN!"

Hey guys, did it ever occur to you that this isn't the right weather for a fight?

Turles looked up at the sky. "HOLY SHIT, THE SKY'S TALKING TO ME AND IT SOUNDS LIKE MARCELLOUS!"

Marcellous sighed and sat down to control his anger.

MAKE IT RAIN, BITCHES.

Then, the sky got dark and cloudy and it began to rain.

Vegeta jumped into the air. "This is awesome! All we need is theme music!"

Done!

An awesome guitar riff started as Nappa began planting Saibamen.

* * *

The theme song continued as the Akatsuki and Zetsu Army marched.

**Make his fight on the hills in the early day  
Constant chill deep inside  
Shouting gun, on they run through the endless gray  
On they fight, for they are right, yes, but who's to say?  
For a hill, men would kill, why? They do not know  
Stiffened wounds test their pride  
Men of five, still alive through the raging glow  
Gone insane from the pain that they surely know**

**For whom the bell tolls  
Time marches on!  
For whom the bell tolls...  
**

Itachi perked up. "OH HELL YES, METALLICA!"

Everyone looked at the Uchiha as he rocked out.

* * *

Turles was getting his thrasher side on as he sang the next part of the song.

**Take a look to the sky just before you die  
It is the last time you will!  
Blackened roar massive roar fills the crumbling sky  
Shattered goal fills his soul with a ruthless cry  
Stranger now, are his eyes, to this mystery  
He hears the silence so loud  
Crack of dawn, all is gone except the will to be  
Now they see, what will be, blinded eyes to see**

**For whom the bell tolls**  
**Time marches on!**  
**For whom the bell tolls...**

Raditz looked at him. "I never knew you could sing!"

* * *

A fierce guitar solo was going on as Spencer was rocking out. Then Konan came up to him with a pregnancy test. He looked at it.

"...Oh my God."

* * *

The music stopped as both armies approached the battlefield, an old playground.

Vegeta stepped up to the front of his army. "Prepare for bloodshed."

Pein and his Six Paths stepped up. "I am...for yours."

"**BANG HIS SHIT!"**

"**LEAVE NO SURVIVORS!"**

* * *

Spencer and Konan were sitting down in their apartment.

"How could I be pregnant?" Konan asked, "I'm on the pill!"

Spencer sighed. "Vegeta wasn't lying when he said Saiyans ALWAYS pull out..."

"They're having a whole war for who's wrong and right! What do we do?"

Spencer got up. "We have to stop it."

* * *

Raditz was avoiding clay bombs from Deidara. The blonde bomber was having the time of his life.

"You will never defeat my art, un!" Deidara taunted, "Especially not with those split ends!"

Raditz stopped completely. "...You're gonna get it now, bitch!"

"OH SHI-"

Raditz pulled Deidara off the clay bird he was flying on by the hair, and began to drive his head into the jungle gym repeatedly.

* * *

Spencer and Konan landed in the football field, where Bardock had been lying unconsciously, just beginning to stir.

"Professor!" Spencer called, "Where are the guys?"

Bardock rubbed his head. "They said something about...heroin dealers?"

Spencer sighed and dropped Bardock, who hit his head against the seats and knocked out again.

Konan did her little paper wings thing. "Let's check the Konoha College!"

* * *

Marcellous was dodging attacks from Kakuzu's elemental masks. The human ragdoll had a serious look.

"You will never win." He said, "You can't kill my five hearts."

"I might not be able to kill you..." Marcellous said as he closed the distance between them, "But I can hit you where it really hurts!"

"!"

Kakuzu was on the receiving end of a testicular kick.

* * *

Konan led Spencer into the commons of the Konoha College, where they met Orochimaru.

"Professor!" she called, "Have you seen the Akatsuki?"

"Ahh yes...The Akatsuki..." The White Snake began, "I remember my days with them...that Itachi has some magnificent eyes...his brother too..."

Spencer sighed. "Why did we come to fucking Michael Jackson for this?"

* * *

Goku and Tobi were staring each other down.

"...You hit me first." Goku said.

"No, you hit Tobi first!" the secret Uchiha replied.

"You first!"

"No, you!"

"...Rock, Paper, Scissors?"

"Sure!"

* * *

Spencer and Konan were flying, looking desperately around for the battlefield.

"Where could the be?" Konan worried.

"They're pretty tough though, I'm pretty sure nobody's been killed yet."

* * *

Hidan was dodging attacks from Vegeta, who was using...HIS SCYTHE?

Hidan almost got his arm taken off. "I still don't get how the fuck you took my scythe!"

Vegeta threw it down. "Fuck it, this thing weighs too much."

Hidan threw Vegeta one of his retractable pikes, and drew his own. "ON GUARD, BITCH!"

The two began to fence.

* * *

Bodies were everywhere. White Zetsu clones and Saibamen corpses scattered across the place, Sasori's puppets were shattered, two of Kakuzu's masks were broken...Hidan's leg was somewhere in the debris, and 3 of Pein's Six Paths were destroyed. The only ones standing were the Saiyans and the Akatsuki...minus Hidan, because it's kinda hard to stand with only one leg.

The original Zetsu was crying. "Our babies!" he wept, **"YOU MURDERERS!"**

Vegeta coughed up some blood. "We'll finish this right here and now!"

Kisame held up his chipped Samehada. "This will be all to easy..."

Hidan pointed at Vegeta. "Chop off a leg for me!"

Kisame got pissed and turned around to Hidan.

"**FOR THE LAST TIME, IT DOESN'T CUT. IT FUCKING SHAVES!"**

Nappa perked up. "I've been meaning to get a better razor."

Itachi's eyes were bleeding from overuse of his Mangekyo Sharingan. "What will it take to subdue this one?"

Turles was tripping out on the ground. "Dude, these hallucinations are FIERCE! Weed never did this to me!"

Table was crawling toward a downed Sasori. "I'll finish you off and prove how useful I am!"

Sasori's eyes widened. "I'll tell you how to make girls adore you, please spare me!"

Table sat in the Buddha position and grabbed a pencil and notepad. "Hurry up, Pinocchio!"

Kakuzu was hung up on the swing-set from his multiple threads. "Does anyone have any scissors?"

Marcellous was nursing his bleeding shoulder. "Do you have any idea how long it took me to get that spiderweb design?"

Goku and Tobi were still going at it.

"Rock, Paper, Scissors, shoot!"

They both pulled rock.

"Rock, Paper, Scissors, shoot!"

They both pulled paper.

"Rock, Paper, Scissors, shoot!"

They both pulled scissors.

Sasori sighed. "Both of you hit each other at the same time!"

Goku and Tobi both rocked each other straight in the jaw, knocking each other out.

Raditz had Deidara by the hair. "WHO HAS SPLIT ENDS NOW, BITCH?"

Deidara was crying. "Me, Me! Now let go!"

Raditz pulled out a bottle and grinned deviously.

"No, not the peroxide!" Deidara wept, "I love my natural blonde hair!"

Right before Raditz could pour in into Deidara's hair, Spencer and Konan crash landed.

"Please, stop the fighting!" Konan pleaded.

Pein walked toward them. "Why should we? This is about you two anyway!"

"We have...an important announcement..."

Konan smiled and held her stomach. "...I'm pregnant!"

All the guys got into a line in front of her.

"Is is kicking?" Vegeta asked, way more effeminate than he should be.

"Lemme feel, lemme feel!" Deidara cooed.

Kisame put a fist in the air. "I'm gonna be a godfather!"

Nappa blushed. "What's his name?"

"Now now, we don't know if it's a boy. or not." Table scolded.

"I wonder whose eyes he'll have!" Itachi sparkled.

"I wanna see!" Hidan said as he limped over to the line...but he tripped over Goku and Tobi's bodies. Hidan knocked into Kisame who knocked into Table who knocked into Sasori who knocked into Raditz who knocked into Marcellous who knocked into Pein who knocked into Vegeta who knocked into Zetsu who knocked into Itachi who knocked into Nappa who knocked into Konan, completely flattening her.

"DAMN." Kakuzu observed, "That's a definite miscarriage."

Nappa got up and helped Konan up, but it was too late. Konan began to cry as Spencer comforted her, discreetly fist-pumping at the loss of his fatherhood.

Pein sighed. "We never meant for this to happen. All we wanted was the Jinchuuriki."

Raditz raised an eyebrow. "What the hell is that?"

Hidan's eyes widened. "You mean you don't have a tailed beast?"

"No!"

"I FUCKING CALLED IT!" Itachi shouted, "YOU ALL OWE ME!"

Everyone looked at him.

"It's the author, I swear!"

YOU BITCH.

Vegeta extended his hand to Pein. "Truce."

Pein smiled and shook his hand. "Truce."

"...Did Headmaster Frieza pay you guys to off us?" Marcellous asked.

"He told us you had Jinchuuriki." Kisame explained.

Then they all got a devious smile.

* * *

A few days after the battle, Headmaster Frieza had called the Akatsuki into his office after hearing that they had terminated D-Generation X.

Frieza laughed deviously. "My persistent threat is gone forever!" he chuckled, "Did you receive your Jinchuuriki?"

Pein gave a deadly stare. "We did not...but we will have something just as good."

Frieza stopped laughing. "What is that?"

All the Akatsuki members drew weapons.

"Your head!"

"You fools are in a hurry to die!" Frieza said as he got up...

...but then he heard a helicopter...

"**ARE YOU READY?"**

"Oh, God no!"

"**NO...I SAID...ARE...YOU...READY?"**

The glass windows in the Headmaster's office were broken, and the members of D-Generation X began to spill in from them. Frieza fell to his knees and began to weep.

"What do you want from me?" he cried.

OGD stepped up to the front. "We got two words for ya!"

All of DX and the Akatsuki began crotch chopping. **"SUCK IT!"**

"Is...is that it?"

Pein was pensive. "...No, we're still gonna kick your ass."


	62. You're gonna hate me for this

10:00 PM – Headmaster Frieza's Office

The Headmaster was sitting in his dimly lit office, with a cold, menacing look on his face.

"Time after time..." he began, "D-Generation X has made a fool of me while I am left powerless...the time has come for them to feel the true power of Frieza..." he reached into his drawer and pulled out a DX jacket. "With this curious little find, things are becoming more and more clear...it's too small to fit the current 5 members of DX...although I do remember a shorter one..."

Frieza began to fiddle with the jacket until The Hurricane's mask fell out of one pocket. The Space Emperor had an astonished look as he picked it up.

"You mean to tell me..." The Space Emperor whispered to himself, "The Hurricane and the little DX member are one and the same?"

"That's right." a voice echoed. "I've seen everything so far, from the other plane."

"Who are you?" Frieza asked, "What do you want?"

"I can rid you of D-Generation X, all you have to do is restore me to my rightful existence."

"How can I do that?"

As if by magic, a book flew off one of the shelves and at the Headmaster's feet. His fireplace suddenly caught aflame. Headmaster Frieza looked ominously up at the ceiling.

…I swear dude, that's not me. This is some scary shit!

* * *

10:15 PM – The Dude Cave

"Thanks guys, I would have never thought I meant this much to you!" said Table.

The usual dude line-up, along with the Akatsuki (sans Konan), had huddled in The Dude Cave with food, drinks, and a "Happy Birthday Table" banner hung up.

Goku playfully put his arm around the younger Saiyan's neck. "Sorry about being so mean to you, it's sort of an initiation..."

Marcellous handed Table a beer. "You're one of The Guys now!"

The Birthday Boy lit up.

Raditz sipped his drink. "That doesn't mean you're back in DX."

Spencer chuckled. "He's just goofing...you might even be the protagonist in this year's Halloween Special."

Table smiled. "Let's not jinx it!"

Vegeta awkwardly walked up to his brother with a piece of paper in his hand. "I...kind of have something to tell you..."

Table looked concerned. "What is it, bro?"

"...When you were born, I got kind of jealous...so I kinda messed around with your birth certificate.."

Deidara sighed. "You didn't put his gender as female, did you?" he asked, "That's not funny, from experience."

Hidan began to laugh uproariously.

Kisame pouted. "At least they knew what to put you as."

Itachi stifled a laugh.

Pein grumbled. "I don't even have a fucking last name!"

Kakuzu high-fived him.

Vegeta gulped. "Even worse than all that..." he mumbled as he handed Table the paper.

"...MY NAME'S REALLY **TARBLE**?" he shouted.

Goku gasped.

Raditz began laughing insanely.

Hell, even Tobi and Zetsu started giggling.

"That's too funny!" Tobi choked, "Almost funny enough to get me to reveal that I'm really Madara Uchiha!"

The room turned deathly quiet.

Marcellous awkwardly walked over to the banner and scribbled an R into the Saiyan Formerly Known as Table's name.

Table-

"Can we please not say that anymore? The pain's too much."

…Tarble...slowly put down his drink and looked Vegeta dead in the eye.

"You've undermined me, you've used me, you've lied to me..."

Vegeta blinked. "What's your point?"

"You insulted me as a man..."

Tarble grabbed a fistful of Vegeta's shirt.

"You deal with me as a man."

Tarble punched his brother right in the face and began disfiguring him.

"DAMMMMN!" Hidan shouted.

"This is rich!" Kakuzu said as he pulled out a camcorder.

Tobi was holding a PlayStation 2 controller and pressing buttons rapidly. "The block button isn't working!"

Goku cringed as blood flew out of Vegeta's eye socket. "That's gonna need a surgery!"

Marcellous' eyes widened as he heard the cracking of bones and the tearing of ligaments. "I think the R stands for Rambo!"

Raditz walked over to the stereo and started playing the soundtrack of Mortal Kombat II.

Kisame frantically grabbed Itachi. "Hypnotize me into constantly seeing this!"

* * *

Frieza had an assortment of weapons, a Green Goblin-esque glider, and a Doctor Doom-like suit of armor, painted black and purple.

"I've gotten everything you requested," Frieza said, "What more must I do?"

"Have you attained the body?"

Frieza looked over at an unearthed casket. "You have no idea how hard it was to get that thing."

"...Perfect."

A chill filled the room. The fire went out as a figure busted out of the casket. The man inside looked as if he had never died at all. He brushed his matted hair out of his face as he darkly lines eyes stared daggers at the headmaster.

"n-no!" Frieza shrieked, "It can't be you!"

* * *

2:00 AM – The Dude Cave

The Guys were grubbing while watching TV after The Akatsuki left, due to Hidan getting alcohol poisoning and Kakuzu having a heart(s) attack. Vegeta was in a full-body cast and hooked up to the portable life-support system the guys kept around since Goku tried to see what color Bulma's hair really was.

"I'm not gonna lie, Vegeta..." Raditz turned to him, "you kinda deserved that."

The humbled Prince blinked in agreement.

"Hey, check this out!" Raditz directed their attention to the TV. A figure clad in the armor from Frieza's office was perched on his glider, on a bridge.

Goku raised an eyebrow. "What's that guy doing on the Namikaze Bridge?"

"_**This is a public message directed at The Hurricane."**_

Everyone looked at Tarble.

"_**For those who don't know, The Hurricane used to be a member of D-Generation X...don't get those idiot's involved. This is between you and me. I'll deal with them later. This is a challenge, a fight to the death."**_

The Guys got ready to suit up, but Tarble sat them down.

"_**Just to make sure you show up...I have company."**_

The figure turned to reveal a woman, unconscious and tied up.

"That's Clare!" Raditz realized.

Tarble got up. "You stay here. I'll take care of him."

* * *

2:30 AM – Namikaze Bridge

"Huh...where am I?"

"Nice to see you woke up."

"Who are you?"

The figure got down and looked at Clare dead in the eyes. "Someone D-Generation X and The Hurricane have fucked over one too many times."

"How could you possible know them?"

"I know them well enough to anticipate-"

The Hurricane came flying in with a punch to his jaw. He skidded back as The Emerald Warrior landed next to Clare.

"Are you alright?"

"Table! Thank God-"

"Actually...it's Tarble now."

"Since when?"

"Vegeta fucked with my birth certificate, alright?"

"Okay, just get him!"

The Hurricane looked back, but the Purple and Black Attack was gone. He turned back around and got rocked in the face.

"How did you do that?"

The Villain pointed to a buckle on his belt. "Time Dilation Accelerator."

"What?"

He pressed it as a black hole appeared. "I can be here..." he stepped into it.

"Or here." he said as he reappeared from another black hole in the sky.

"Or here." he was on the bridge itself.

"Or here..."

"Here?"

"Here!"

"Maybe even-"

Due to the multiple black holes surround the area, The Hurricane threw a fist into one of them, which came out of another hole and punched the figure straight in the face, cracking his mask.

"...I should have guessed you would have figured it out..." he laughed as he removed his mask.

"What?" Clare asked, "This can't be possible!"

The Hurricane's eyes widened. "Trunks, you can't be alive!"


	63. Sayonara

Trunks began to laugh maniacally. "But it is me!"

The Hurricane slowly got up. "But how...why?"

"Haven't you read the Halloween Specials? I'm evil now because frankly, evil is cooler!"

"What do you want?"

"You, Vegeta, Marcellous, Spencer...you all will pay for what you have done to me!" Trunks got into a battle stance. "Let's start this...Uncle Tarble."

Tarble ripped off his mask. "If you wanna make this personal, that's fine."

Trunks hopped onto his glider. "Let's see how the true Saiyans fight off a half-breed!"

As Trunks took to the air, a cable shot out of his glider and wrapped itself around Tarble. As he sped off, Tarble was dragged across the ground and into the air.

Clare sighed. "This is just perfect. What if they kill each other? God forbid, but I guess that means-"

"Don't worry, we're here to-"

Clare instinctively butterfly kicked Goku right in the face.

"DAMN!" Raditz exclaimed, "I don't even think I can kick that hard!"

Vegeta began to laugh insanely.

Clare sighed. "Sorry, but don't creep up on me like that!"

Marcellous began to check Goku's pulse. "Yeah, he's unconscious."

* * *

Trunks was flying around the Namikaze bridge with Tarble hanging around.

"Have a problem flying around?" Trunks asked, "That's why they're weighted!"

Tarble was struggling. "You won't get away with this!"

Trunks slammed his uncle into a nearby building. "This is gonna be fun!"

* * *

Vegeta was untying Clare, or trying to.

"How the hell did he knot this?" Vegeta asked, "He's like a boy scout!"

"I wonder who the hell this guy is, anyway." Raditz pondered.

Marcellous looked up at the sky. "I swear, this better not be Trunks again."

Oh...trust me...it isn't...

Marcellous was then mysteriously knocked out.

Goku heard a sizzling sound and looked around him. "Is that a pumpkin bomb?"

A couple bombs hit the bridge as The Guys and Clare were scattered all over the place. Trunks hopped off his glider as it went on autopilot and flew down at the scene.

"It's been a long time..." Trunks said, "Soon you'll all be as dead I was."

Vegeta got up first. "This is the last time I'll ever fight you, Trunks."

Trunks sadistically raised an eyebrow. "Really now, father?"

Goku's eyes widened. "Father?"

Raditz got up next. "Now that I think about it, it's not really that shocking. You're both cocky, underhanded, and cunts."

Vegeta glared Raditz down. "Do you mind?"

Oh, Father-Son fight!

Suddenly, Goku and Raditz were moved next to Marcellous and knocked out.

Trunks became a Super Saiyan. "It's been a long time since I've had to take this form."

Vegeta began to power up. "The same goes for me!"

Vegeta continued powering up...

...and powering up...

...and powering up...

Vegeta stopped, exhausted. "Why can't I become a Super Saiyan anymore?"

Clare raised an eyebrow. "You guys haven't fought in a while, maybe you just lost it."

Vegeta clutched his chest. "S-Super Saiyan Erectile Dysfunction? NOOOOOOOO-"

Trunks caved his face in.

* * *

Tarble was flung through the air by Trunks' glider, desperately trying to break free.

"I can't break this wire!" he noted to himself, "What else..."

Tarble noticed the glider's thrusters and tried to swing himself, along with the wire, into its path.

* * *

Vegeta was barely standing, clothes ripped and blood flowing freely.

Trunks remained unfazed. "I'd say I better end this with a bang..."

He reached into his satchel and pulled out a few pumpkin bombs, which he threw at Vegeta. One hit Vegeta, knocking him next to Clare and another exploded close to the time dilation accelerator, activating it.

"Vegeta!" Clare cried, "are you alright?"

Trunks threw another bomb, which blew off a section of the bridge. Clare and the time dilation accelerator went over the edge. Clare screamed as she fell into the portal, which closed as the accelerator fell to the ground next to the river.

* * *

Tarble had just broken free when he heard Clare scream. He looked over at the bridge and saw nothing after she fell over.

"**CLARE!" **he screamed as he dove into the water and began to search for her.

Trunks was frantic as he powered out of his Super Saiyan form. "My time dilation accelerator!" he jumped over the side of the bridge and began to search for it. He found it on the land under the bridge, although heavily damaged. He grabbed it and ran over to a nearby bench.

"Just hardware damage..." he reported to himself as he began to tinker with it, "easily fixable!"

Tarble slowly emerged out of the water. **"TRUNKS!"** he screamed.

Trunks slowly turned around as Tarble approached him. "What are you doing?"

"You killed the woman I loved!" Tarble shouted, "I'll make sure you never come back!"

Before Trunks could reply, the full Saiyan grabbed him a handful of purple hair and kneed him in the face. He threw him into some metal bars and began slamming him into them. After the bars had been damaged beyond use Tarble threw his nephew to the ground and began slamming fists into his pretty boy face.

"Please, please stop!" Trunks begged, "I beg of you!"

Tarble grabbed Trunks and looked him in his blood-soaked face. "Why should I give you the mercy you've never shown anyone else?"

Trunks coughed blood into Tarble face. "Because...nice guys are fucking idiots!"

Trunks planted two ki blasts into Tarble's chest, blowing him away. He made a run for the time dilation accelerator and put it on. He activated it and it worked perfectly...or so Trunks thought.

"No, what's wrong?" Trunks asked himself, "The portals are becoming unstable!"

As a gigantic portal opened, the accelerator flew off Trunks' waist and into it. The portal became unstable as it began to absorb everything in its reach. Trunks lost his footing and was holding on to one of the bridge's legs. Tarble got up and began to stare at the portal.

"Help me!" Trunks screamed, "Please...Uncle Tarble!"

Tarble reached his hand out to Trunks, who reached out to take it...until he stopped and stared at his uncle.

Trunks laughed maniacally. "I don't need your help, fool! No one man can defeat me!"

Tarble tried to grab Trunks. "You're the only path I have to getting Clare back! I'll get you, if I have to chase you down **FOREVER!**"

Trunks was still laughing maniacally as he fell into the portal, which closed before Tarble could do anything. The Guys flew down as Tarble fell to his knees.

Goku looked around. "What the hell happened?"

Marcellous looked up at the bridge, which was missing a gigantic chunk. "That's gonna be a couple millions out of our tuition."

Raditz looked at his fellow Saiyan. "Tarble, are you okay? What happened to Clare?"

Tarble began to cry. "...she's gone..."

Vegeta pulled his younger brother into a hug as all the guys bowed their heads in disbelief, shock, grief and silence.


	64. Raditz's Big Decision

3:15 PM – Dude Cave

Vegeta, Goku and Raditz were consoling Tarble, along with Spencer, Nappa and Turles.

Vegeta held his tearful younger brother in a hug. "It's okay Tarble, we'll find her."

Tarble wiped his eyes. "I loved her so much...and now she's gone forever."

Vegeta sighed. "eh, you'll be alright."

Nappa slammed his soda can down. "I fucking hate when people say that!"

Raditz walked over and high-fived his fellow Saiyan. "Real talk, it's so fucking annoying!"

Turles gave Raditz a menacing look. "I hate when people say 'real talk", no bullshit."

Goku glared at Turles. "'No bullshit" is so redundant!" he explained, "Really, is there ever gonna be a time where you _do_ want bullshit?"

Vegeta sighed. "Raditz cleans the place up and Kakarot cooks, I keep telling myself that's the only reason I room with them..."

Tarble blew his nose. "Thanks for all the support, guys..."

Spencer propped himself up against a wall and folded his arms. "Women are for the weak-minded, the ones who can't be dependent."

Nappa raised an eyebrow. "Didn't you get that Akatsuki chick pregnant like...last month?"

Spencer put Nappa in a chokehold and held back tears. "WE WERE IN LOVE DAMNIT!"

"Okay, okay! I give up!"

"YOU CAN'T STOP OUR LOVE!" he shouted.

Nappa was turning blue. "Get this maniac off me!"

Raditz walked over to Spencer and started tickling the back of his neck.

"Heh, sto-hehehehe, stop, HEHEHE, stop it!"

Raditz sighed and sat down.

Turles looked at the long-hair. "Yeah, that wasn't gay at all."

Raditz gave a toothy grin. "The ladies love it!"

Vegeta scowled. "Shut up, you virgin."

Marcellous barreled in and landed face first on the floor. "I GOT IT!" he shouted.

Everyone stood up and looked at him.

"Got what?" Nappa asked.

Marcellous held up a PlayStation 3 copy of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3.

Each and every single guy in the room besides Tarble began screaming like schoolgirls.

Marcellous got to his feet. "TO THE GAME ROOM!"

As the guys stampeded into another section of the Dude Cave, Tarble was left crying as he walked out the door.

* * *

3:45 PM – Dorm 333

Chi-Chi, Radiza, Bulma and Rae were sitting around doing some girl stuff...I don't know what girly stuff consists of because I'm a guy.

"Isn't Orlando Bloom so fucking hot?" Bulma asked.

"Johnny Depp is so much more attractive..." Chi-Chi sighed.

...Hey, I can try, can't I?

Someone started knocking at the door.

"I'll get it." Rae said as she got up.

Radiza had hair curlers in. "Hurry up, I really wanna see if Raditz was right about curly hair being thicker."

"Don't you ever wonder if he's secretly gay?" Bulma asked.

Radiza shrugged. "I put out multiple times, but he says he's waiting for marriage."

Rae opened the door. "Tarble?"

"Hey Rae," Tarble sniffed, "I really need someone to talk to right now, I brought your mail in."

Rae gave Tarble a sympathetic look. "Don't worry little man, we're always here to – OH MY GOD, COSMO!"

Upon seeing a Cosmopolitan magazine in the stack of mail, Rae grabbed the stack and slammed the door in the Saiyan's face.

* * *

4:00 PM – Classroom

Professor Bardock was on his lunch break...or at least he was supposed to be.

The elder Saiyan deviously looked at his laptop screen. "That's right baby...take it all off..."

"Professor Bardock?"

Bardock hastily minimized an open window and zipped his pants up. "T-Tarble?"

"...Were you just masturbating?"

Bardock sighed. "When your wife goes on menopause, send the bitch far away."

Tarble was still teary-eyed. "Can I talk to you about...her?"

Bardock was rapidly flipping through a copy of "DBZ College". "Oh my god, Trunks came back and took Clare to limbo with him!"

Tarble began to cry like a bitch, understandably.

"Come here, you poor soul!"

Bardock pulled the younger Saiyan in for an emotional hug.

* * *

11:00 PM – Dorm 666

The cardinal four members of Dorm 666 were just chillin' in their dorm, drinking some beer and watching Sonic Underground.

Vegeta burped as he crunched another empty beer can. "Marcellous, why did you buy this godforsaken series on DVD?"

Marcellous sipped his beer nonchalantly. "The songs were meaningful when I was a lonely nerd child growing up, sue me!"

Goku was searching for beer in the fridge. "Alright, Bud Light Lime!"

Marcellous quickly gulped down his Corona and held his hand out. "Pass me one, I've been meaning to try that!"

Goku passed one to his roommate, who immediately cracked it open and began to drink it as if it were God's Piss.

Vegeta sighed. "You're such an alcoholic."

Marcellous stopped drinking to glare at Vegeta. "You have a sex addiction, you nympho."

Vegeta smirked and cracked open another beer. "It's not an addiction if it's good for you."

Goku noticed his brother, who hadn't been drinking and had a stoic look on.

"Raditz, what's wrong?" Goku asked as he sat down next to his brother.

"I've been thinking."

Marcellous and Vegeta immediately turned around to look at Raditz.

"First, Spencer and Konan got together and had a miscarriage...then Tarble lost Clare..."

"What are you trying to get at?" Marcellous asked.

"People are losing each other left and right...I don't want me and Radiza to be the next."

"We can always make sure than doesn't happen." Vegeta smirked.

"That's not absolute. If it does happen, I want the most of our relationship."

Raditz put his beer down. "I...I wanna get married."

* * *

"Marcellous, wake up!"

Marcellous slowly stirred into consciousness. "Dude, I drank way too fucking much last night."

Vegeta sighed. "What crazy-ass dream did you have this time?"

Marcellous chuckled. "Raditz decided to get married!"

"No, that seriously happened."


	65. The Romantic Raditz Chapter

"Really guys, the Stupid Helmet?"

Raditz had a dirty, muddied and scratched up high school football helmet strapped to his head.

Vegeta took a punch at Raditz's head. "You really think getting married this young will work?"

"Well, why not?"

Goku took a punch at his older brother. "You're only 22, there's still a lot of time to meet other girls that you might feel stronger about!"

"Are you implying that me and Radiza aren't that strong of a couple?"

"Hell yes!"

Goku and Vegeta both headache punched Raditz.

Marcellous walked out of the bathroom. "Don't ever let me drink Bud Lite Lime again..."

He noticed Raditz in the Stupid Helmet and punched him right in the mouth guard.

"...What, no degrading commentary?"

"Nah, I just wanted to punch you in the Stupid Helmet. But since I was passed out for the majority of your marriage babbling, go on." Marcellous explained as he sat down on the bunk.

Raditz slowly took the Stupid Helmet off. "Look, I think I'm making the right choice here. I don't need your approval!"

"When was the last time you went on a date?" Vegeta asked, "Or the last time you bought her a gift? We haven't seen you two together in ages."

"You haven't seen Bulma in a few weeks!" Raditz retorted as he turned to Goku, "Chi-Chi's deff gonna be pissed at you for not being her bitch!" he turned to Marcellous, "when was the last time you spoke to Rae?"

The three then held up their cell phones.

"I don't need this," Raditz said as he reached for his coat, "You can't make my decisions for me."

Marcellous got up. "Raditz, wait. We don't mean it like that-"

The door slammed shut before he could finish.

* * *

4:00 AM – City Park

Raditz was sitting alone on a park bench, surrounded by pure, undisturbed snowfall. He had a very pensive look on his face as he decided what exactly he wanted to do. He pulled out his iPod and decided to listen to some music, always a good idea. He scrolled through his playlists until he came to certain song.

**Now Playing: Drake ft. Rihanna – Take Care**

Raditz sighed. _"Damn Marcellous, getting me hooked on Drake..."_

**If you let me, here's what I'll do...**

**I'll take care of you...**

**I've loved and I've lost...**

Raditz began to think. _"I really do wanna spend my life with her..."_

**I've asked about you and they told me things but **

**my mind didn't change and I still feel the same,**

**what's a life with no fun?**

**Please don't be so ashamed;**

**I've had mine, you've had yours, we both know...**

"_What do they know? They've all had sex and everything. They all moved too soon..."_

**We know they don't get you like I will,**

**My only wish is I die real**

**Cause that truth hurts and those lies heal...**

"_It's true...they don't get girls the way I do."_

**When you're ready,**

**just say you're ready,**

**When all the baggage just ain't as heavy**

**and the party's over,**

**just don't forget me**

**We'll change the pace and we'll just go slow...**

"_Damn, this song is like...perfectly matching my emotions!"_

**You won't ever have to worry...**

**you won't ever have to hide...**

**You've seen all my mistakes,**

**so look me in my eyes...**

**Cause if you let me...**

**here's what I'll do...**

**I'll take care of you...**

"I guess it's final then...I'm getting married..." Raditz got up. "I guess I better get home...I have somewhere to be in the morning..."

* * *

7:00 AM – Dorm 666

The remaining three members of Dorm 666 were all sitting around each other, with a mysterious white smoke surrounding the room...

Vegeta had red eyes and he inhaled deeply. "What do you think happened to Raditz?"

Marcellous took the blunt from Vegeta. "Do you really think we should be burning while Raditz is somewhere out there going on about marriage?"

Goku sighed. "You wanna go find him crying like a bitch?"

Marcellous took a hit. "Fuck it, you're right...he'll come back."

"I mean, getting married in college? That's a bad hit." Vegeta said.

"True," Goku started, "Where's he gonna get a place to live? A job? Condoms?"

"The ones down in the clinic suck."

"You've tried them?"

"Just once."

Marcellous went into the kitchen. "Why did I agree to abstinence?"

Then Raditz walked in. "How you guys doin'?"

Goku got up. "Raditz, we're sorry if we gave the wrong impression last night. We're not saying you shouldn't get married right now, but think about what you're giving up..."

"Think about what I'm _gaining_. I can spend the rest of my life with the woman I love, I won't regret if something happens to me or her in the future..."

Vegeta got up. "What if she says no?"

Raditz flipped his hair and batted his eyelashes in the most effeminate way possible. "Would you say no to _that_?"

Vegeta began to laugh uproariously. "I'm toasted off my ass right now, I can't tell if that's funny, gay, or both!"

Marcellous walked up to Raditz, burger in one hand and put his arm on Raditz's shoulder. "Regardless of what happens, we're behind you. You can't break up the Wolfpack!"

Raditz pulled out a little box from his pocket and opened it.

"..."

"So awesome it left you speechless?"

"Jesus Christ, you couldn't have gotten something bigger?"

* * *

Dorm 666 was completely cleared of frat guy stuff, it was all cleaned and nice, and it actually looked presentable. Raditz was setting a table dinner for two, and he looked out the window to see a wonderful half-moon gazing back at him.

"Half moon, nice touch!" Raditz said, looking up.

No problem, bro! It's gonna suck if she rejects you.

"Don't jinx me!"

I'm the fucking author, what can really stop me?

Raditz walked over to the stove and looked at the oven, a sticky note on it.

_Raditz,_

_Remember to leave the oven on the lowest heat, and take the souffle' out RIGHT AFTER you turn it off, or else it's gonna be flatter than your hair!_

_Goku_

Raditz sighed. "I'm gonna shove my foot up his ass..."

He then answered a knock at his door, revealing Radiza.

"Are you ready?"

"A home-made dinner?" Radiza asked as she slyly noticed Chinese food boxes collected in the trash, "...you're too nice.."

Raditz chuckled. "This is gonna be pretty romantic...trust me..."

* * *

The Akatsuki were still louging about, with Kakuzu at the helm of his binoculars, as usual.

"Kakuzu!" Pein called, "Why are we still spying on Dorm 666?"

"No idea, sir." Kakuzu replied, "Most likely for plot advancement."

Itachi scrolled through his copy of 'DBZ College'. "This book is awfully suspensful at this point..."

"WAIT..." Kisame said as he grabbed the binoculars from Kakuzu, "Is Raditz pulling out a ring?"

Konan grabbed the binoculars. "OMG, that's so romantic!"

Hidan grabbed the binoculars. "That ring's small enough to fit around Tobi's dick!"

Itachi pulled out his cell phone and called Marcellous. "I know they have a plan!"

Sasori was sitting in the corner, pulling off a remarkably accurate rendition of the "Forever Alone" face.

* * *

7:30 PM – Hirokiwa College Basement

Marcellous, Goku and Vegeta were just chillin' in the basement, waiting for something.

Vegeta was standing next to the power generator. "Let me know when we get the signal!"

Marcellous' phone began to ring. "Hello?"

"_Raditz is about to propose!"_

"Dude, I know!"

"_Is there any way we can help?"_

"Now that you mention it..."

* * *

Raditz and Radiza were having Raditz's "homemade dinner".

Raditz, as a Saiyan, had naturally polished off a few plates. "Radiza..." he started, "there's something I want to show you..."

Radiza put her fork down. "Yeah?"

All of a sudden, the lights went out.

"Raditz! What the hell just happened?"

* * *

Itachi made a few hand signs. "Fire Style: Phoenix Flower Jutsu!"

* * *

All of a sudden, dozens of candles were lit up in Dorm 666, illuminating the room. Raditz was down on one knee, holding Radiza's hand.

"Oh my god, Raditz...don't tell me..."

Raditz cleared his throat. "Radiza...I never thought I could be as happy as I am when I'm with you, and...if you let me...I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same...

* * *

Marcellous, Goku and Vegeta were listening to a two-way radio, which had been secretly set up.

"_Radiza...will you marry me?"_

Goku pulled out his wallet. "20 bucks she rejects him."

Marcellous handed him a 50. "50 bucks she's too busy crying to actually respond."

Vegeta was holding a 100. "100 she says yes and they have sex right then and there."

Marcellous pulled out his wallet. "That's actually a pretty plausible idea."

* * *

Pein had used his Animal Path to plant a tiny fly on the wall of Dorm 666, allowing the Akatsuki to listen in.

"...She's taking a long time to reply." Deidara noted.

"She's obviously crying, dumbass." Konan sighed.

"He got rejected!" Hidan danced, "He got rejected-"

"_...Yes."_


	66. Chapter 69: Give Some to Get Some

9:35 AM – Dorm 666

Raditz woke up to the sound of birds chirping outside his window. He slolwy rose up and stretched himself out, looking contentedly at the gold on his left ring finger. Then he jumped off his bunk triumpantly.

"Yes, yes...I'm engaged!" Raditz proclaimed.

Then he looked around and saw his empty dorm.

* * *

9:36 AM - College Campus

Marcellous, Goku and Vegeta were all huddled together, discussing a plan of action.

"Okay," Marcellous started, "Let's get going with announcing Raditz's engagement party."

"But we can't tell mom and dad, let's let Raditz do that himself." Goku warned, "Dad's gonna flip."

Marcellous nodded. "Okay, let's take our good luck shots...damnit, Vegeta!"

Vegeta was holding an empty bottle of Ciroc as he stumbled toward his roomates. "I'm happy as shit, fucking sue me!"

Marcellous looked up at the sky. "I thought the drunk shtick was my thing."

…

"Hello?"

LMFAO, I just realized this is Chapter 69!

Goku fell over laughing.

"Why'd you make me fall over?" Goku asked, "It's not really that funny."

* * *

10:15 AM – Dorm 666

Raditz had gotten dressed and was currently looking for something to feed his Saiyan appetite.

"Eggs and Bacon?" Raditz asked as he looked in the fridge, "Nah, I hate eggs."

"Pancakes? I gotta cut down on the carbs."

"Pop Tarts? Why do we keep those in the fridge?"

Raditz closed the fridge and sighed as he lifted up the stove, looking at the passage beneath it. "Fuck it, I'll go out."

* * *

10:30 AM – Dorm 333

Radiza was showing off her rock to her fellow roommates.

"He couldn't have gotten anything bigger?" Chi-Chi asked.

Radiza retracted her hand. "You're such a cunt today!"

Chi-Chi sighed. "It's that time of the month."

Rae chuckled as she drank some milk straight from the carton. "I doubt Marcy is gonna be proposing any time soon..."

"Marcy?" Bulma asked, "That's what you call him?"

"What, you don't give Vegeta a cute nickname?"

Bulma blushed. "Big Dick Johnson..."

Radiza laughed. "He's the shortest one there, he can't be well hung!" she explained, "It would throw off his balance!"

"Well, his balls are pretty big but Tarble's thicker than him..."

Rae shot milk out of her nose.

Chi-Chi gasped. "You've slept with both of them?"

"I thought Tarble was Vegeta one time, okay?" Bulma defended herself, "He was using extra hair gel that day!"

Vegeta barged in, drunk off his ass. "Hey bitches! Engagement party, Dude Cave, TONIGHT!"

Bulma smelled his breath and passed out from alcohol poisoning.

Vegeta's drunked crosshairs locked on Radiza. "Heeeyyy, Radiza!" he hugged her.

"H-Hey Vegeta..."

"I just wanted to give you a head's (hic) up...Raditz has a foot fetish!"

While everyone was mildly disturbed, Vegeta took this oppurtunity to open the door and barrel out of the room.

* * *

10:45 AM – Dorm 999

Spencer was cheffing something up in the kitchen as Turles was lighting another blunt.

"Do you have to burn this early?" Spencer asked, "I'm trying not to die over here."

Turles unwrapped his blunt and rolled it again. "Fuck you, I'm trying something different."

One of the bunk beds was rocking viciously.

"Oh...OH, NAPPA!"

"I-I'm gonna...OH SHIT!"

Turles began blushing brightly as he dropped his blunt.

Nappa's head popped up from the bunk. "Sorry dudes!" he apologized, "Hey...eggs and weed in the morning, wasn't that in a Wiz Khalifa song?"

Zangya's head popped up and rested on the mustachioed Saiyan's chest. "Being on top is so worth it..."

Nappa threw his head back. "Well this is Chapter 69, after all."

Spencer dropped his fork into the pan.

Marcellous walked in. "Hey bros, I just wanted to invite you guys to Raditz's bachelor party tonight at the Dude Cave.

Spencer cracked a tiny smirk. _"Everything's going the way mom and dad told me..."_

Marcellous noticed the rather large formation under the covers in Nappa's bunk. "Yo Nappa, you heard me?"

"Nappa!" Zangya shouted, "NOT IN MY ASS!"

Turles accidentally swallowed his blunt.

* * *

11:15 AM – Akatsuki Apartment

Itachi was looking everywhere. "Has anyone seen my DBZ College book?"

Sasori looked up from his puppet work. "What's so urgent about it?

"I stopped at Chapter 69!"

Hidan and Kisame stifled a laugh.

Deidara sighed. "Real mature, guys."

Goku walked in. "Hey guys, just wanted to let you know you're invited to Raditz's engagement party!"

Deidara lit up. "I gotta get my skinny jeans!"

Itachi scrambled. "Fuck the book, I gotta get my eyebrows done! Who's seen Konan?"

Kisame walked over to the closet. "I knew I'd be needing my beer hat!"

Konan came out wearing Pein's pajama shirt. "Oh my god, that was so cute how Raditz proposed!"

Goku rubbed his head. "He came up with it himself!"

Pein came out wearing his pajama bottoms. "We'll be there, but here's a word of advice...take your piercings off before you put a condom on..."

Goku winced painfully.

* * *

10:15 PM – Dude Cave

"I don't get it, what's so special about the Dude Cave tonight?"

Marcellous was leading Raditz through the underground tunnel into the Dude Cave. "Relax, we haven't been avoiding you all day for nothing."

"You've been avoiding me?"

"IT DOESN'T MATTER, WE'RE HERE." Marcellous loudly droned.

Raditz walked in and immediately had a heart attack from the ensuing blasts of music and drunken yelling.

* * *

Tarble was lighting up the dance floor while the "Go Tarble!" chants filled the Dude Cave.

Itachi handed Tarble another beer. "Damn bro, you can put it away!"

"Tarble's on a roll, Tarble's on a roll, Tarble's on a roll!" Vegeta's younger brother chanted.

* * *

Zangya was twerking was Nappa. Vegeta and Hidan were standing by and laughing.

"Damn, she has THAT ASS!" Hidan notioned.

Vegeta scoffed. "You should see my girl's ass!"

"Where is she?"

Vegeta stood up on a table. "YO BITCH, WHERE YOU AT?"

Then he got hit by an empty beer keg and got knocked the fuck out.

* * *

Raditz and his wife-to-be were sitting in the corner, sipped his drink and looked at her. "I can't believe they did this for me..."

Radiza wasn't looking at him directly.

"Babe, is there a problem?"

"...Vegeta told me about your foot fetish."

Raditz blushed insanely red. "I swear it's not true! He's lying out his-"

Radiza planted a kiss on his cheek. "I don't mind it..."

Raditz grabbed her by the wrist and ran up to his dorm.

* * *

Marcellous and Rae were slow dancing together, as the night was coming to a close.

"Hey Marcy?"

Marcellous blushed. "Don't call me that in public!"

He looked up to see Pein and Konan also slow dancing, giggling at them.

Rae tightened her hold around Marcellous' neck. "Babe, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure, what is it?"

Their faces gradually got closer to each other.

"When are we gonna get married?"

Marcellous dropped her and ran away.

* * *

Tarble groggily got up, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. "God damn, I had too much last night."

Then he looked over and say Zangya sleeping next to him. "...Holy shit, Nappa's gonna kill me! I gotta get outta here!"

Tarble pushed the sheets off himself and rolled over...

...right into a sleeping Nappa's armpit.


	67. Holy Crap, it's Krillin!

**Hey broskis and broskettes, I just wanted to let you know that this is offically the first chapter written on my brand-new TOUCHSCREEN computer! It's fucking amazing. If I could have sex with this thing, I would.**

**But back to our main programming.**

* * *

11: 12 AM – Dorm 666

Marcellous was woefully eating his breakfast cereal as Vegeta fell out of his bunk.

"What's the matter?" he asked his roomate, "You don't look too happy."

Marcellous sighed. "Rae's never gonna stop bugging me about getting married."

"Hey, at least you got her on lock."

"That's true, from what I remember the sex is pretty good..."

"I honestly don't get why you started that whole abstinence thing."

"Some of us have_ standards_, Mr. Open Relationship!"

Raditz awkwardly walked in.

"...Dude, what happened?"

Raditz had the dumbest grin on his face. "...Footjobs are awesome, man..."

Vegeta scoffed. "You're such a virgin!"

"Don't knock it until you've tried it!"

"Bulma's a freak, she does stuff SAIYAN girls think is gross!"

Marcellous gasped. "That's some hardcore shit, like...power drills and stuff!"

Vegeta lifted up his shirt, showing a scar on his abdomen.

Goku slowly woke up, holding his head. "Dude, what happened last night?"

"...When did you get those?"

Goku took the Beats by Dre headphones off his head. "Did I knock somebody out?"

"Most likely." Raditz guessed, "Wait, are those the LeBron James editions?"

"Looks like it."

"HYPEBEAST!"

* * *

Tarble was still stuck between a hard Nappa and rather scantily clad Zangya.

"_If either of them wakes up, I'm fucked..."_ he thought, _"how do I get outta this?"_

As Nappa slowly moved his gargantuan frame in his sleep, Tarble was free of his reeking armpit. The younger Saiyan skilfully maneuvered his slender figure down the bed, sliding off the top bunk and somehow mananging to dropkick Turles in the head on his way down.

"What the hell, man?"

"...Did I have a threesome with Nappa and Zangya last night?"

"Oh, hell yeah!" Turles laughed, "Nappa totally gave it to you!"

"You mean...gave it to her?"

"No, he gave it to you and you gave it to Zangya."

Tarble was about to puke. "OH MY GOD, THAT'S-"

**Yellow diamonds in the light,**

**and we're standing side by side**

**As your shadow crosses mine,**

**what it takes to come alive!**

Tarble quickly jumped into Turles' bunk and hid himself as Nappa's fruity-ass alarm went off.

Zangya slowly jumped out of the bunk and called up. "Babe, let's shower together!"

Nappa slowly held his head up. "As long as we don't use the cinnamon body wash, that shit burns..."

* * *

12:15 PM – Bio-mechanics

Marcellous and Spencer were sitting together in Bio-mechanics, since I remembered this is DBZ College, not DBZ Private School and That's Why Every Single Class is in the Same Room with the Same Teacher.

Marcellous sighed. "Is it just me, or is Dr. Gero (HAR HAR SEE WHAT I DID THERE) way too into this whole bio-mechanics thing?"

"It's like he's done this shit before..."

"And that, students, is how a limitless power supply is almost attainable to average humans." The good doctor lectured.

All of a sudden, Spencer noticed something. "Dude...is that Krillin?"

Marcellous squinted his eyes. "Holy shit, it is! He's been dead for like...30 chapters!"

"Chapters?"

"Nevermind. Let's meet up with him after class."

* * *

1:30 PM – College Cafeteria

Marcellous and Spencer had coralled the rest of Dorm 666, along with Nappa and Turles in order to witness the latest appearance of Krillin, or as he had come to be known, Jesus Christ. They were standing at the top of a sprialing staircase, leading down to the main cafeteria.

Vegeta grabbed some binoculars. "Holy shit, he's alive!"

Raditz had a shocked look on. "and he has HAIR!"

Nappa started playing with his little fauxhawk. "and it's more than mine?"

Goku took the first step to greet him. "Hey, Krill-"

Then Goku fell down the stairs.

* * *

Krillin was nonchalantly eating with a blonde-haired girl, who seemed to have quite the interest in him.

"So, you take Bio-mechanics?"

"Nah," she replied. "I hate it."

"What's so bad about it?"

"I have a certain...irk...for cyborgs and that stuff, it creeps me out."

Krillin tried his damn hardest to be slick. "Don't worry babe, I'm all organic."

The girl slammed her long-nailed fingers down rather abruptly on Krillin's hand. "We're not close enough and you're not whipped enough to call me babe."

"W-well, what do you want me to c-call you?"

"Call me by my name-"

"Krillin!"

The Guys immediately crowded around the once-bald midget. He was bombared by a plethora of questions of his whereabouts and what exactly happened to him. Krillin could only cry out in despair as his female companion slowly drifted away, leaving the only visible indication of her identity to be the number 18 on her jersey. (**A:N** – In case you didn't catch it yet, that's Android 18. Obviously in this story she's not an android. Go vote on the pole in my profile on what you think her name should be. No seriously, open a new tab and do it now. You know you're gonna forget by the end of the chapter.)

"Stop, stop it!" Krillin shouted as he pushed them off him, "you just cost me my dream girl!"

"Wait..." Raditz paused, "you're trynna get at that?"

"Y-Yeah..."

All the guys got a devious smirk.

* * *

"Any clothing allergies?" Vegeta asked.

"Not really..."

"Velvet, tons of it!"

Raditz was shampooing Krillin's hair. "This shit is like barbed wire!"

"Hey, I just started growing it!"

Marcellous was looking through a sneaker catalogue and looking at Krillin's style. "Casual, yet not sloppy...you're deffinately gonna be getting some Foamposites! What's your favorite color?"

"Ehh...I don't like too flashy stuff..."

"Copper it is!"

Goku was sitting in the corner, drawing a crude crayon illustration. "Done!"

"What's this?" Krillin asked as he looked at the drawing.

"It's to distract you from the pain..."

"What-AHHHHH, JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!"

Turles was holding an unloaded piercing gun. "You got a fair half-second warning!"

* * *

Kakuzu was being his usual creepy self with his binoculars "Jesus, that looked like it hurt!"

Pein looked up from his magazine. "What's happening?"

"The Guys are giving Krillin a makeover."

Before Pein could respond, Itachi interjected, flipping though his DBZ College book. "Are you serious, Krillin's back?"

Konan popped up. "A makeover? I gotta get in on this!"

Itachi was putting on his shoes. "I have so many questions to ask!"

As the Uchiha and bluenette left, Kakuzu and Pein looked at each other. The orange-haired on sighed.

"These guys are such cunts sometimes."

Kakuzu put down his binoculars. "No good can come from this."


	68. Tweet Whores

9:20 AM - Cafeteria

Krillin had his hair cut into a DJ Pauly D-style blowout, and he awkardly scratched his pants through his khaki skinnies as he felt a little hot under his black v-neck. "Are you sure this is gonna work?"

Turles, for once, was not under the influence. "Don't worry man, we got this!"

Nappa was munching on his egg and sausage cheese sandwhich as he motioned Krillin onward. "You'll be fine!"

Krillin triumphantly walked down the stairs and locked his crosshairs onto his female companion from before. "Hey, Andrea!"

The Android Formerly Known as 18 took one look at Krillin and began to laugh. "What did you do to yourself?"

Nappa could feel the rejection settling in. "Damn man, that sucks."

"GAME OVER YEAHHHH!" Turles sang.

Krillin began to turn blue. "You mean...you don't like it?"

"Like it?" Andrea stopped laughing, "I fucking love it."

Before Krillin could react, the table was cleared and he was slammed onto it while Andrea took off his pants.

Turles was bugging out. "Is this what I miss when I'm always smoking?"

Nappa was recording it from his phone. "Twit-vid!"

* * *

Dorm 666 was rather quiet. Goku was cheffing something up in the kitchen, Vegeta was applying his usual fuckton of hair gel, Raditz was watching TV, and Marcellous was dicking around on his new phone.

"Which model is that again?" Raditz asked.

Marcellous didn't even look up. "Samsung Captivate..._Glide_."

"An actual keyboard? That's so 2008!"

Marcellous held up his hands. "I have big-ass fingers, I can't do that touchscreen shit."

Raditz picked up an iPhone 4s. "Kakarot, is this mine or yours?"

Goku was preparing a lasagna. "The black one's mine, the white one's yours."

"They have the same case!"

"Enter the password then!"

Vegeta's Samsung Galaxy SII vibrated. "God damn it, Bulma has my number, why does she keep messaging me?"

Goku shrugged. "Because sexting beats phone sex?"

Marcellous began to laugh his ass off. "Did you see the video Nappa uploaded to Twitter?"

Raditz began fumbling with his phone. "What's his screename?"

"BaldisBitchin'."

Vegeta was combing his hair up. "I got gel all over my hands, someone tag me into a tweet!"

"I got you, SweetPrince!"

Goku was frantic. "Someone show it to me!"

Marcellous got up and showed Goku the video of Krilling getting molested on a cafeteria table. Goku laughed so hard he spat his gum out into the lasagna.

"...We'll give that part to Tarble."

* * *

Rae and Radiza were in a mall, and thus had to conceal their laughter. Radiza put her phone back into her purse. "Man, Nappa has that video all over Facebook!"

"At least Andrea didn't use butter as a lube..."

"Her name's Andrea?"

"He was screaming it the whole time!"

"Anyway," Radiza began to her sister. "Marcellous's birthay is on Monday (**A/N**: True story.). What are you gonna get him?"

Rae sighed, "Well, I did get this."

She held up a shirt that said MARRY ME YOU DUMB SHIT on the front.

Radiza sighed. "If I had known getting engaged would turn you into a monster I wouldn't have done it."

"Hey, I can stop any time I want."

"Just get a tattoo on your ass or something and make him look for it."

"...That's actually not a bad idea."

"I know a girl downtown!"

"Let go!"

The two sisters began to pack up, until...

"Wait..." Rae started, "Why do you know a tattoo artist?"

* * *

10:15 AM – Starbucks

Tarble, because apparently he's a fucking hipster/douchebag now, was sitting at Starbucks, casually sipping his mocha latte as he blogged away on his laptop.

"_Dude...tumblr's just so...orgasmic."_ Tarble thought to himself as he kept blogging.

"Um...excuse me.."

Tarble looked up. "Uhh...hey!"

"My name's Gure, and I was wondering how I could get to Hirokiwa College from here?"

"Uhh, I'm T-Tarble, and I'm headed there myself, what do you need?"

"I'm gonna enroll there for this upcoming semester."

"Well then, we might have a few classes together!" Tarble awkwardly smiled.

"I'll look forward to it...if I can get there."

"Oh, right. You take a left on this street, keep going straight and take a right at the Barnes and Noble, and it's two blocks left from the West City sign."

"Thanks!" Gure smiled, "I guess I'll see you soon!"

"No problem!"

Tarble grabbed his left breast and let out all his heavy pants as she walked away. "I gotta tweet this!"

* * *

"Bardock, why the hell are you here?"

The father of Goku and Raditz was dicking around in Headmaster Frieza's office. "C'mon Frieza, I thought we were buddies!"

"I was your commanding officer in Vietnam, that does not make us 'buddies'."

"Sure it does!"

"No, especially not after what you did..."

_(Flashback: March 7th, 1973)_

_A heavily armed Headmaster Frieza was signaling to his platoon that they were about to go in, apparently on a mission to rescue prisoners of war._

"_Okay men, what we're about to do is incredibly dangerous, but it will guarantee our victory in this mission. Now, let's set out and-"_

"_You idiot, what are you doing?"_

"_I didn't know it was sticking out, man!"_

"_Bardock, Vegeta!" Frieza almost-shouted, "Shut up before you give away our location!"_

"_It's gonna go off, man!"_

"_I don't care what the hell just happened, shut-"_

_Frieza got nailed in the mouth with a live grenade._

_(End Flashback)_

"...Hey, at least we all survived!"

"I had to have 7 of my teeth replaced AND you lodged a frag up my nose. Why do you think I sound like an old lady? (**A/N**: That's right! Fuck Kai, my Frieza is Linda Young's Frieza!)

"Uhh...I vibrated." Bardock checked his Twitter and promptly doubled over in laughter.

"What, what happened?"

"Tarble found a new love!"

"Didn't his old girlfriend get sucked into another dimension, or something?"

"I know, that's what makes it so funny!"

12:25 PM - Hallway

Tarble had a lovestruck look on his face as he walked down the hallway to Dorm 666. He finally stopped daydreaming enough to open the door.

"Hey, guys!"

Vegeta sighed. "Well, if it isn't TarbleGarble!"

Goku chuckled. "Very imaginative, by the way."

"I have to best news ever to tell you-"

Marcellous displayed his Twitter home page. "Your 5-tweet apology to Clare, wheverever she may be, for falling in love with another woman was enough. You've been trending worldwide for about an hour now."

Raditz ran out of fucking nowhere with champagne and finger foods. "OMG, tell us everything!"

"Man, you guys are Tweet-Whores!"


	69. Tarble's Telekinetic Trouble

"Shoot the 3, shoot it!"

"I can't, I'm Blake Griffin!"

"Pass it to Wade then!"

"Fuck, Rondo stole!"

"KOBE SYSTEM!"

Raditz and Goku slammed down their PS3 controllers as they looked at Marcellous and his victory dance.

"You're a bitch at 2K12."

Marcellous kept fist pumping. "Because Kobe's on my team?"

Goku sighed. "Because you never stop using him!"

"Wait until I unlock Jordan, then you'll be shocked."

Raditz grabbed WWE '12. "I got the DLC and everything, you know what that means."

Goku looked excited. "Shawn Michaels and Randy Savage?"

"You already know!"

Marcellous chuckled. "Edge and Christian up in this bitch!"

Goku stopped. "Where's Vegeta? He needs to be in this."

"Didn't we send him on a beer run?"

"Oh yeah!"

8:35 PM – Liquor Store

Vegeta was layed out oustide the local liquor store, surrounded by empty bottles and beer cases. He turned to his side and threw up.

* * *

Raditz gasped. "Shit, we sent _Vegeta_ on a beer run!"

Marcellous pulled out his phone and texted Tarble.

* * *

Tarble was driving along the road on a beautiful Spring day.

"Hello?"

"_Bro, it's Marcellous."_

"Sup, you need anything?"

"_We sent Vegeta on a beer run."_

"Shit, are you crazy?"

"_Raditz wasn't thinking!"_

"_YOU sent him!"_

"I guess I better go pick him up then."

"_That would be appreciated. By the way, we've having a sausage fest tonight. Wanna come?"_

"..."

"_Oh fuck, I mean...actual sausages. Nappa, Turles and Spencer are gonna be there too."_

"Sure. OH FUCK-"

Tarble dropped his phone as a rather large humanoid object hit his car. He got out and pulled it off."

"Oh, I was worried for a second." Tarble laughed, "It's just Trunks."

He threw the body under his car, backed over it a few times and then kept on driving.

* * *

"I'm sorry sir, but you're disturbing the peace."

"I'm disturbing your mom!" Vegeta laughed at the police.

"Okay, he's obviously drunk. Let's-"

Vegeta elbowed one of the cops in the face and punted the other one into the air. Then he ran like hell...

...until he got ran over.

"Shit, it better not be another Trunks." Tarble got out and looked at the mass of humanity on his bumper. He peeled his brother off the cold metal and threw him in the back seat.

10:45 AM – Cafeteria

Raditz was carrying a shitload of food out of the cafeteria, when he saw Android 18 (I'm guessing you don't remember her name) giving a tour to what looked like a new student.

"Hey Andrea," Raditz greeted, "Who's this?"

Andrea (remember that shit) gestured to her companion. "This is Gure, she's a new student."

"Hi! I'd shake your hand, but..."

Suddenly, the bags started floating out of his hands.

"Hey, what are you-"

Gure had a smile on her face. "Where do you want these?"

Raditz had the creepiest look on. "Follow me. You can come too, Andrea!"

Raditz was wearing a blue shirt and red kicks, so as he ran there came shouts of "OMG WTF SONIC THE HEDGEHOG".

* * *

The Dude Cave was pretty lax today, mainly because Turles dropped a blunt into one of the vents and it spread to the whole facility.

Spencer sighed. "This isn't working for me."

Goku chuckled. "Man, it's like we created the world's biggest bong."

Marcellous spilled his drink all over Nappa's head. "Shit, sorry about that, fam."

"Hey, tequila!" Nappa started licking his face.

Raditz ran in and tripped over an ottoman.

Andrea sighed. "You damn klutz."

Turles immediately hit the button controlling the fan, sucking all the weed out of the room. "Raditz, you can't keep bringing girls into the Dude Cave!"

When the bags started coming out of nowhere and resting on the table, then everyone got suspicious.

"Everyone, this is Gure."

11:30 AM – Dorm 666

"Did I ever tell you how firm your ass was?"

"Shut up, Vegeta!"

Vegeta was sitting (literally) with his thumb up his ass while Tarble looked around. _"Nobody's here, I wanted to tell them about Gure..."_

"Vegeta, do you know where everyone-"

Vegeta ran straight into the stove, causing it to raise up and knocking himself the fuck out.

Tarble looked at the path under the stove. "Of course, the Dude Cave!"

He punted his older brother down the path and jumped in after him, bringing down the stove behind them.

Gure was telekinetically making Goku float, which he giggled merrily at.

"That's pretty cool, Gure!" Marcellous noted, "Can you do anything better?"

Andrea whispered something into Gure's ear. She gasped.

"Andrea, that's horrible! I could-"

Raditz folded his arms. "Whatever it is, I wanna see it."

"If you say so..."

Goku's pants started to come undone. "Hey, what's going on?"

A nearby, long-necked beer bottle started to float as well.

Goku felt himself being turned ass-up as the bottle came close. "Wait, what the hell are you-"

"Please, oh fuck no!"

"FOR GOD'S SAKE, WHAT ARE YOU-"

Nappa jumped back. "Oh, Snappa!"

Marcellous began to laugh loudly. "Did you just come up with that?"

"Yeah!"

"That's hilarious!"

Then, Vegeta came tumbling down the stairs.

"Hey, guys! I got Veg-"

The first thing Tarble saw was the girl he just fell head-over-heels in love with...telekinetically sodomizing Goku with a beer bottle.

"WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK."


	70. Succulent Sexy Time!

2:20 PM – Tattoo Parlor

"Is is done?"

Radiza was looking at her sister's bare ass.

"Oh my god, he's gonna love it!"

Rae pulled her pants back up. "Is it the right color and everything?"

Radiza pulled down her pants and showed a heart with a lightning bolt on it tattooed on her hip. "Raditz is gonna love it when he finds this one!"

"Yay, we're matching!"

The two sisters high-fived and walked out.

2:45 PM - Dude Cave

Tarble was more pissed than Chris Brown sitting next to Rihanna while getting interrupted by Kanye West and finding out Tiger Woods slept with his mom while LeBron James bitched and moaned his way to an NBA Championship.

Nappa scratched his head, "Uhh, Tarble...this isn't-"

Tarble pointed at Gure. "Put him down!"

Gure immediately dropped Goku...on his ass.

Marcellous ran to get a first aid kit as glass broke and Goku screamed hysterically.

Tarble almost started crying. "Why can't the women I like be normal?"

Tarble ran out in the most effeminate way you'll ever imagine.

Gure gasped. "He-he likes me?"

Andrea sighed. "I'll go talk to him."

* * *

_Vegeta was in the middle of a castle, standing in front of a man on a throne. He was wearing a blue shirt, blue headband and had a whip in hand._

"_Woah, what the fuck am I- DIE MONSTER, YOUR EVIL DOESN'T BELONG IN THIS WORLD." Vegeta said in the most monotonous voice ever._

_The man stood up and held his wine glass rather fancily._

"_...Marcellous?"_

"_WHAT IS A MAN? NOTHING BUT A MISERABLE PILE OF-"_

* * *

Vegeta woke up when he heard "Africa" by Toto playing. He was in a chair and Bulma was dressed rather...provocatively.

"Bulma?" he asked, "What's going on?"

Bulma blushed. "You remembered our anniversary to the point that you passed out, just like when we first met!"

Vegeta looked down and realized his boys covered for him.

Bulma began to give Vegeta a lap dance in tune to the music.

"Bulma, I feel like-"

Raditz came in wearing a casual white suit with loafers and a fedora, and threw a vase full of flowers at the wall.

...Seriously, where did that come from? I was watching Family Guy and that randomly happened.

Vegeta looked up at the sky. "I know, right? It wasn't in the music video or any-"

Bulma cleared her throat. "Can we get back to our anniversary here?"

Oh, sorry.

4:00 PM – Dorm 666

Marcellous, Raditz and Goku were all chillin', sipping some beer.

Goku sighed. "Dude, where's Spencer with that food?"

Raditz was still wearing his 80's suit. "I love this suit, man."

Vegeta walked in with cake all over his face.

"Dude, what happened?

"Bulma pranked me with some face-sitting and chocolate cake..."

Marcellous began to laugh. "Oh my God, that's too funny!"

Vegeta began to walk over to the sink and wash his face. "I doubt I'll be the only one, watch all of you get got!"

Goku's phone rang. "Hello?

"Hey babe," Chi-Chi's voice sounded, "Can you come do something for me?"

"Sure, I'll be right there!"

Goku got up and headed toward the door.

Raditz was suddenly wearing an army uniform. "COME BACK ALIVE, DAMNIT!"

5:10 PM – Dorm 333

"Hey, Chi-Chi!" Goku walked in to the empty dorm.

"Chi? Where are you?"

Goku noticed the sink was full of dirty dishes. He sighed and began to wash them.

"I might eat like a pig, but come on. I mean, they could at least-"

Next thing he knew, Goku had a giant wax strip strapped onto his eyes.

"Ha, I got you!" Chi-Chi said as Goku turned around.

"Oh, you think you're funny, putting your pads on me?" Goku sighed as he began to feel for the edges.

"Babe, that's not how you do it. See, lemme do it."

Chi-Chi ripped the pad off and Goku screamed in pain as he fell to the ground.

"That's what happens when you don't spent enough time with your girl!" Chi-Chi laughed as she looked at Goku's eyebrows, which were attached to the strip.

Raditz was drawing Goku some new eyebrows. "God damn, that had to suck for you!"

"I'm pretty sure that made me bleed a little..."

"I wonder how Tarble's doing..." Marcellous wondered.

6:00 PM – Starbucks

Tarble was sipping on his Venti Mocha Latte, sobbing his bitch tears. Andrea walked in and sat down at the same table as him.

"Tarble..." she started.

"Andrea, please don't try to comfort me, I just..I just can-"

"Stop being a little priss bitch."

"W-What?"

Andrea grabbed his latte and gunned it at the wall.

"Hey, my latte! I am SO putting this on-"

Andrea sent a fist through his laptop.

Tarble began to cry harder. Andrea bitch slapped a couple teeth out of him.

"Ever since your other girl left, your balls went with her. Your brother is VEGETA, for Christ's sake, and he's one of the toughest men ever! What happened to you? If you want her, fucking get off tumblr and ask her out."

"But, she's cool with the guys, so-"

"So what? She's cool with guys so she's not womanly enough?"

Andrea grabbed Tarble by the shirt and lifted him up. "Is THAT what you're trying to say?"

Tarble gave a smug grin. "You're pretty aggressive..I should be trying to hook up with you!"

Andrea gave a look of disgust and hurled Tarble across the room.

7:00 PM – Dorm 666

Marcellous was all alone in Dorm 666, jamming to his Rihanna station on Pandora. Rae came in just in time to see him dancing like Rihanna in the "Where Have You Been" video. Marcellous stopped dancing when he heard the giggling.

"You're not here to prank me, are you?"

"No, not really. I came to show you something.."

Marcellous flinched. "It better not be your lady forest!"

Rae showed him her tattoo.

"...Oh my god..."

Rae frowned. "You don't like it?"

Marcellous made sure the door was locked, and he closed all the windows.

* * *

"DAMN IT!" Kakuzu shouted as he threw down his binoculars, "They were about to go into sexy time!"

Itachi threw him a copy of the DBZ College book.

* * *

Marcellous threw Rae onto the bed and started kissing her.

"Marcellous, what are you-"

"You have no idea how much I want you right now!"

"But, what about our promise?"

"Oh, fuck that! You're acting like we didn't wanna do it again!"

"But I wanna be able to- OH, SHIT!"

* * *

Headmaster Frieza was intently watching his security monitors when Bardock walked in.

"Hey Frieza!" Bardock stumbled, holding some Jagga-Bombs. "You gotta try these!"

"Not right now!"

Bardock peeped the monitor. "IS THAT MARCELLOUS AND-"

"It is!" Frieza replied, "His stamina is amazing, he's been like that for 45 minutes now, excluding foreplay!"

Bardock smiled. "Well, he is a Saiyan after all."

* * *

Trunks was floating around in limbo, plotting a way to get out.

"I can't believe I failed yet again!" He scowled, "I will...a portal?"

Trunks flew toward a portal, which he saw led to the outside world.

"Finally- wait up, is that Marcellous and Rae?" he laughed, "Holy shit, he's going hard!"

Trunks was so amazed he didn't notice the portal close until it was too late.

* * *

By now, every single member of Akatsuki was reading a copy of DBZ College, intensely staring at the print.

Itachi was sweating. "This is...so vivid!"

Hidan had taken his cloak off and threw water on himself. "It's too much!"

Deidara was down to his underwear and started rubbing his nipples.

Pein was doing the Daniel Bryan "YES!" chant.

Kakuzu couldn't stop giggling like an 11-year-old in a Sex-Ed class.

Because of his inorganic body, Sasori was unable to express arousal, so he just stared at Konan's nipples, which he could see through her shirt.

Kisame and Zetsu were currently dying from lack of water.

* * *

Rae was resting on Marcellous' chest. "Oh my god...3 times?"

Marcellous sighed. "I've built up a lot of endurance."

"I think I wouldn't mind getting that a few times a week..."

"Babe, before that, I wanna get your clearance on something..."

"What is it?"

Marcellous sat up. "All the guys have done it..except Raditz, for obvious reasons.."

"If you wanna try anal, I'll have to think about that one."

Marcellous sighed. "Another wish down the drain. But no, it's something they always make fun of me for not doing..."

"Well, what is it?"

Marcellous had a child-like inflection to his voice. "When are you gonna let me have sex with Bulma?"


	71. Thug Yamcha

4:23 PM – Dorm 666

"Tell me all about it!"

Marcellous was sipping his beer while gossiping with Raditz. "I think I went Super Saiyan in those last few seconds when I...you know..."

Raditz chuckled. "Does it hurt the first time?"

"Only if you don't practice...nah means?"

"I've been saving my...storage...up now that I'm engaged."

Marcellous walked into the kitchen. "You better get your own place. I've heard your wet dreams, you're nasty."

"How am I nasty?"

Marcellous started feeling himself up. "Oh, Chi-Chi! Promise you'll never tell Kakarot! God, you're so tight-"

"NOBODY WAS SUPPOSED TO KNOW ABOUT THAT!"

Marcellous downed his beer and started to head out the door. "Well, I gotta go sex up Bulma now."

"WHAT?"

"Dude...Bulma's had sex with everyone. I'm gonna go do it now, and you'll get to do it after you fuck Radiza."

Raditz pouted and looked at his engagement ring.

* * *

Tarble had finished being a bitch and was now looking rather nervous. Andrea sighed. "It's not serious, calm down."

"I have a rather bad string of luck with women, if you didn't know."

"Look, she's right there. Just apologize for being a cunt, then ask her out."

Tarble trembled a little bit. Andrea pushed him rather forcefully across the Starbucks. "Be a man for ONCE in your goddamn life!"

Gure was sitting down at a table, reading a magazine. Tarble checked his hair and straightened his shirt out, while also making sure to wipe and remaining bitch tears off his cheeks.

"Umm, Gure?" Tarble started, "I just wanted to say...I'm sorry for my little outburst earlier. It's just, I really like you, and I just got out of a relationship. I'm not really good at keeping an ideal relationship, but I guess no relationship is ideal. But anyway...if you let me, I'll show you how much of a fun guy I can be. So what do you say, can you give me a shot?"

Gure pulled out her headphones. "I'm sorry, did you say something?"

Andrea death-stared Vegeta's little brother.

Tarble's face flatlined. "I'm not a cunt even though I looked like one a few hours ago. Wanna go out?"

Gure smiled. "Sure!"

Tarble pulled out his iPod, played Turn Me On by David Guetta ft. Nicki Minaj, and started dancing. Andrea started recording it.

6:24 PM – Dorm 333

Bulma was in bed, smoking a cigarette while Marcellous was sprawled out on the floor, a bed sheet covering his junk.

"That...was amazing..." Marcellous panted.

Bulma took a drag of her cigarette. "Nothing special. You shoulda seen what me and Goku used to do in high school."

"Wait, what?"

Bulma chuckled. "Me and Goku have been friends since 4th Grade, don't you think I would have gotten him in the sack by now?"

"Are you sure you're not an addict?"

"I'm the heiress to the Capsule Corp fortune, do you know how stressed I am? I've been taking advanced and AP classes since 8th Grade, I don't even have time to properly wax my-"

Marcellous interrupted. "Have you ever went au natural with your hair?"

Bulma winced. "I'd look to much like my mom..."

"Heh, your mom's a MILF."

Bulma smacked Marcellous over the head with an alarm clock.

8:10 PM – Dude Cave

Everyone was chillin' under the AC, sippin' that gin & juice.

Turles, for once, was not smoking. "Dude, we should invent our own beer."

Marcellous drank a little. "You need a license, that's too much work."

"**BREAK YO'SELF, FOOL!"**

Everyone jumped as Vegeta checked his phone. "Sorry, new notification tone."

"...I'm gonna kill this fucker."

Nappa looked at Vegeta. "What just happened?"

"Fucking Yamcha challenged me to a duel over Bulma!"

Everyone sputtered laughing. "YAMCHA?"

Turles almost choked on his drink. "Didn't you kick his ass already in High School?"

_Flashback – 2005_

_As usual for high schoolers, the Friday Night Fight Arena, AKA the school parking lot, was surrounded by tons of hormone-infused teenagers forming a circle, where two combatants were about to enter a fight to certain embarrassment._

_A rather tough-looking Yamcha was sizing up a chilled out Vegeta. "I'll beat you down, Vagina! You stole my wifey from me!"_

_Vegeta sighed. "You cheated on her with 6 different girls!"_

_Somebody rang a bell and Guile's Theme from Street Fighter II started playing._

"_You're gonna get it!" Yamcha (very weakly) threatened as he ran toward Vegeta._

_Vegeta took off his genuine leather jacket, emptied his pockets and put on some gloves with enough time to not feel any effects from Yamcha punching him straight in the face. Everyone started laughing as Yamcha visibly pissed himself._

_Vegeta smirked as he punched Yamcha in the stomach, elbowed him in the back of his neck, and ghetto stomped his face into the concrete._

* * *

Vegeta laughed. "I kinda wanna do that again!"

Everyone got up. "Let's go then!"

After everyone had left, Spencer sighed and pulled out a little device. "Dad's gonna get married...it looks like my time here's done."

He clicked something on the device, and then disappeared.

8:10 PM – THE FUCKING FUTURE

Spencer was back in his house, since everybody seems to have forgotten that he's from the future.

"Hmm...everything seems a bit off."

He checked his phone, and saw that he was currently located in...Trunks Brief City.

"Wait, what?"

He looked outside and saw a giant statue of Trunks. Then a gong rang and he heard "ALL HAIL TRUNKS, THE SAVIOR OF OUR LIVES" being chanted.

"What the actual fuck did I screw up in the past?"

9:15 PM – The Streets

The Saiyans were in the streets, waiting for Yamcha where he had said he would meet them.

Goku looked around. "Are you sure he's here?"

"Wouldn't be surprised if he didn't show up." Raditz commented.

"WASS GOOD, BITCHES?"

Everyone turned around to see the most hilarious thing I can have you mentally picture. Yamcha was wearing skinny jeans with Air Jordans on, a snapback twisted to the side, and was barechested with multiple crosses, barbwire and THUG LIFE tattooed on him.

Vegeta fell down he was laughing so hard. Everyone was having a good time.

Until a gunshot went off.

They looked up and saw Yamcha was backed up by an entire gang.


	72. Bet You Didn't See This Coming

_4:13 AM – Dorm 666_

_The main four members of Dorm 666 walked in battered, bloody and brusied, but victorious._

_Vegeta took off his torn jacket and went to get some bandages. "Fucking Yamcha, he brought 20 members and we STILL won..."_

_Marcellous was checking his forehead to make sure he wasn't bleeding too bad. "Well, he's a bitch. What did you expect?"_

_Raditz was washing blood out of his hair. "Heh, his nose got ripped off."_

_Goku was completely chilled out. "They only brought ONE gun. Really, just ONE! And the idiot missed every shot when he was 5 feet in front of us!"_

_Just then, a masked gunman broke his way into the dorm room._

* * *

Bardock was standing in front of a couple tombstones. He sighed as he looked around at the graveyard, filled with the eerie silence of respect for the departed, as well as the sorrow that came with the expectancy of death. He lay a rose on each of the four tombstones as he took one last look and walked away. He got into his car and took out his phone.

"_Hello?"_

"Hey, I just wanted to tell you, me and Cooler are gonna go see him."

"_What? Bardock, why? He killed-_"

"I don't care, Fasha. He'll be dead by the end of the week, I have a few...choice words for him."

After a while, Bardock had reached a penitentiary, a high-security one at that. Once he got in, he was greeted by Frieza's older brother, Cooler.

"Bardock..." Cooler started as he hugged the Saiyan, "I'm so sorry."

Bardock hugged him back. "There's nothing we could have done."

"He's down the block."

Bardock sighed. "Let's go."

* * *

Frieza sat alone in his jail cell, sobbing miserably to himself.

"You have visitors." he looked up and saw an officer letting Cooler and Bardock into his cell.

"Brother..." Frieza cried as he hugged Cooler, "I-I didn't mean to-"

"You killed them." Cooler started, "You killed them in cold blood, just so they wouldn't bother you anymore."

"I-I didn't know they would-"

Bardock grabbed Frieza and looked him dead in the eyes. "You refused to be calm and rational. And because of that, both my sons are dead...including two boys I considered sons. They went an inch too far, and you forced them six feet under."

"But...D-Generation X!"

Bardock slammed Frieza into the cell wall. "D-Generation X doesn't matter! You're lucky the police got to you before I did-"

"Bardock!" Cooler intervened, "Now is not the time...he'll be gone soon."

Frieza pushed Bardock off of him. "I never meant to kill them! I wanted to kill D-Generation X, damnit! I sacrificed so much...Bardock, I never meant to kill your sons...or Vegeta, or Marcellous! Please, understand-"

Bardock punched him in the face. "They're dead. Soon you'll be too. There's a special place for people like you in hell."

Cooler leaned back against the wall. "You have a son. How do you think he feels? We asked him to come see you and he completely refused. I begged...BEGGED him, and he refused. How do you think Father feels?"

The older brother bent down and looked his younger brother in the face. " You're a murderer, a criminal, and soon you'll be dead." He gave Frieza a picture of Dorm 666, all four of them smiling, happy and alive. "This should be the last thing you see. You're the reason this will never happen again."

Frieza began to cry even harder. "If I could take everything back-"

Bardock shot in again, "You tore apart not one, not two, but _three_ separate families. My wife hasn't stopped crying for the last 3 months. Bulma and her family had to shut down the business for a week to mourn. Marcellous' mom has gone into depression. Tarble had to get checked in to a mental institution, he hasn't stopped going on about Vegeta. Raditz and Radiza were engaged, and she's promised she'll never have another man. How do you feel?"

Another officer came in. "Excuse me sirs, your visiting time is up."

Before he left, Cooler handed his brother another picture, one of Kuriza, his nephew and Frieza's son. "You should want this."

Bardock looked at Frieza one last time before he left, "I used to think of us as friends, Frieza. Back in the field we had a code of honor; you watch my back, I watch yours. But you've obviously shown that that means nothing to you. I will never, _ever_ forgive you for this. If you somehow manage to get your way out of this death sentence, the electric chair or the lethal injection won't kill you..._I will_."

As the two men left, Frieza was once again left by himself, the picture of Dorm 666 being stained by his tears of sorrow, guilt and remorse.

**DBZ College**

**7/9/07 - 7/25/12**


End file.
